tuscl

My 2014 Holiday Is Going To Be The Very First Unique Experience, How Is Yours

Sunday, December 21, 2014 9:13 AM
2014 is turning out to be a great experience for me, one because my game went up significantly that I was able to befriend several dancers, hang out with a couple of them and moreover convert one to two of them to dating level. Though one thing will stand out this December of 2014. I was cleaning up her place when I saw a piece of paper lying on the floor and I thought of just picking it up, crumple it in my hand, swing my arm toward the garbage bin. It turns out a letter from the guy who she never told me about, the father of her daughter who basically was praying for his family to get back together. That really touched my heart, though. An emotional appeal to the mother of how he wants his family back. So my mind wandered about "Is that even possible?" The guy basically is in jail and hoping that when he walks out would instantly get his family back in one piece? That's a tough one to answer because it all depends on the dancer who I just met recently. She seems to be happy and she even didn't mention anything about the father of her daughter. What do you think of this one? Another messy situation. This would definitely top all experiences I've gone through while immersing myself into the lives of several dancers.

16 comments

  • gatorfan
    •
    10 years ago
    I think you should leave a crumpled letter for the next guy.
  • ATACdawg
    •
    10 years ago
    Sounds to me like the girl is ambivalent about her baby daddy. She didn't crumple it and pitch it herself, but she did just let it fall on the floor. On the other hand, she could just be a slob. Do you think that BD really wants to reunite his family or does he just want his meal ticket back? Finally, do you really think you want to involve yourself in this situation? If you do, it's a potential no-win for you.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    One more year and he will be out. Not sure if I have to be there when he walks in, though.
  • jackslash
    •
    10 years ago
    Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    "Do you think that BD really wants to reunite his family or does he just want his meal ticket back?" Tough question, I would say the dancer could still support the ex-convict transition to civilian life, I bet she would do that.
  • ime
    •
    10 years ago
    More likely you end up supporting them both
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    10 years ago
    Alabegonz, That situation is not something you should try to influence. SJG
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    10 years ago
    If you try to influence it, it is just because you are being possessive about the girl. That will eat you alive. If you try to control such a thing, you will not live very long. This was the price for getting involved with a girl from such a venue. SJG Rolling Stones, 2nd Album [view link]
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    @SJG, Totally understand what you are trying to say. I won't change the status quo, I'm just there to have fun.
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    Also learned through experience the beauty having many than having only one. The main ingredient is simply not playing it like I'm going to get serious.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    10 years ago
    This girl is used to dysfunctional relationship patterns. If you start displaying possessiveness and jealousy, she will probably eat it right up. But then you will be drawn in further and further until you become just like she and all of her ex's. She may have left that paper on the floor intending that you find it. I say you should never admit to knowing of it. It is a private message anyway. As far as this ex, let him show that he can function outside of jail. Can he hold a job, make child support payments, be responsible with visitations, and be respectful of her private life? But again, you should not be the one to explain this to her. She has to do it her own way. SJG
  • alabegonz
    •
    10 years ago
    This experience led me to look into the concept of both Hypergamy and Hypogamy wherein the dancer/stripper can both engage men of higher or lower status. The normal being the dancer playing for Hypergamy which always has the better result, she would have a partner who can now provide her things she has no access before. On the other hand, when she plays men of lower status with the intention of having a long term relationship, the result often times seem to contradict what she had set out to achieve. Basically, improve her situation by stripping and also angle for men of higher status. Taking men of lower status is actually detrimental to her objective, but her job of providing fun to every class of men forces her to deal with lower class men. Somehow, the dancer makes a bad decision and commits to the man of lower status, that maybe due to her being intoxicated or rather being under the influence. She ends up impregnated and now having a child from a father of low status. Realizing she had made a mistake she keeps on going. A minor setback she will have to carry while she finds the right man of higher status. But there are men out there who are held in high status, who go to strip clubs willing to have long term relationships with dancers. With lower class men who are willing to spend beyond the limit, the dancer finally realizes she can live with these types of men. Hence the endless cycle of depressing imagery that keeps repeating itself one experience to the next. Dang it, why did I write this reply, I should be writing like the way my CF talks to me.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    9 years ago
    Social status is so plastic in a society like ours that you can't use it to analyze relationships. But there definitely are learned tendencies about control and codependency and there are families which are legitimated and those which are delegitimized. You have made a stripper into your girlfriend. She is over 18yo and so are you. I wish the two of you well for 2015. SJG
  • alabegonz
    •
    9 years ago
    "Social status is so plastic in a society like ours that you can't use it to analyze relationships." Yes, they do. Google it up.
  • jerikson40
    •
    9 years ago
    alabegonz, consider this: "Nice guys finish last". Really. Think about it. You're a nice guy. You WILL finish last. Just be prepared.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    9 years ago
    Hypergamy and Hypogamy? Yes, this is something anthropologists talk about, in primitive societies. But what women in our society go for is more personality types, an act, a put on, what the PUA's call "game". If you read Robin Baker's books, Sperm Wars, and Baby Wars, he explains it as women being evolutionarily programmed to look for evidence of genetic fitness. [view link] Maybe so, but it is an illusion. What Baker is trying to show though is that women are not always drawn to the promise of lifelong monogamy. They do engage in infidelity, and they do it at the time when they are ovulating, on the girls' night out, and they do deceive their long term partners. The ability to do this is the basis of the female persona. But in a society like ours, personality types, and fat cash rolls, are no such thing as permanent social status. Women respond to guys who display a measured degree of cockiness, and they respond to guys who have flashy clothes and flashy cars, and who flash cash. But this is not the same what anthropologists talk about as hypergamy and hypogamy. It is actually just women being foolish and making judgments on superficial bases. But, it is no less foolish and no less superficial than the ways in which men judge women. SJG
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