But I'm different from the rest of the PL's...
GACA
Un-retired: Met my ATF. Married her. Divorcing her.
Anyway, he was hunting for OTC and failed, and left wondering why at end of a dance session the stripper didn't like him more than he thought she should have, thus leading to the question of what he did wrong.
My reply:
" I've been clubbing strong for four months. Here's what I already know... Strippers have seen every kinda man walk in and out of the door in their first few weeks of stripping.
You give her a massage, you fit a profile, you don't give her a massage, you fit a profile. You buy a drink, you fit a profile. You TRY TO BE DIFFERENT than any other customer, guess what, you fit a profile.
So don't try to be different from other guys in a strip club, try to fit the right profile.
Strippers are masters in the art of bullshit, and you blared bullshit the entire time, oh and it didn't help that you showed that you're also the "run to the atm to pay for the lap dance" guy. Damn brah, have some money in your pocket..."
Guess I'm wondering how many of you believe you have to be different than other customers, or just fit a good "profile" of the right customer (and what the hell the "right customer" profile looks like)
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I agree with you about fitting profiles. I don't fit the "correct" profile for me at a glance because I'm baby-faced and work in an industry that dresses super casual; the CEO and Directors don't wear ties and would be thought of as stuffy if they did. So I know I throw dancers off sometimes with my answers to their questions trying to size up my wallet. I'm not quite sure what profile I'm trying to fit, other than "guy who wants good milage from girls willing to bend club rules during Lap Dances".
I always make sure to have cash in my pocket for dances. Seems odd not to, although I get that some guys get carried away and overspend.
Strippers know how to fake intimacy really well, especially physical intimacy, and I can see where that can confuse some guys. But you have to have a decent amount of experience with different civilian girls to have healthy bullshit detectors from strippers. Don't get me wrong; I pay for the lies. I appreciate them when they're sold well. I'm 90% sure that most of what one of my favorite dancers has told me about herself is as fake as her stage name, but it's a damn entertaining story. But strippers do make more money when they blur the lines, and I can see where some guys get suckered in.
But taking small change to a strip club isn't going to help you get the "rule bending" experience you're looking for.
Great "system"!! What do you call it?
The experienced PL's can figure out which of the 3 any particular dancer is fairly quickly. If you're looking for OTC and just spent 2 hours buying dances and chatting her up and leave alone, then you need more experience.
Also – too many PLs seem to confuse a stripper w/ a regular woman and seem to try to interact w/ a stripper as they would with a civie (and expect the same results).
A strip club is never the place to get one’s emotional needs met – most of us PLs know that but it seems sometimes we are thinking too much with our hearts/dicks and not our brains.
A PL may want a dancer; but she just wants the PL’s money and anything else is just an exercise in PL futility IMO.
“Pull up to the scene with my ceiling missing”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2QKlmMT…
My view is that you should always treat dances as "regular women". I don't treat any women as anything other than that.
Now yes, dancers OTC will want money. But I still treat them as "regular women".
Them wanting money, it will change when they see that they get something else, even better than money, by associating with you.
SJG
Yes strippers love me...
First off, went the article route because it seemed too long for a discussion topic. Length was the only deciding factor in doing an article and not a discussion.
Secondly, it was my first time getting dances with the girl and got four total. I was having a good time up until she asked that question, and as is the case when I have a good time with a good-looking girl, I was trying to see if OTC was on the table, trying to determine which one of those "three types" she was. Maybe other guys can figure it out before a dance or two, but I at least like to sample the merchandise. If she's not a good dancer, she's probably not going to be worth P4P. When I decided I was too confused to care after the question, I stopped. So hopefully that's not too PL-ish as it's not like I popped for a VIP session in the hope of convincing her and it's also not like I continued to chase after her. More just trying to understand what and why to be better prepared for future opportunities as the quest continues with whoever the next women are.
Also, I've had better OTC luck out of town. Once got an offer within a minute of striking up a conversation with a dancer after saying, "Yeah, I'm staying in a really nice hotel room downtown for the next couple nights." So I think that's why the "Are you sure you're not from out of town" question rattled me, because part of me was hoping she maybe treated out-of-towners differently relative to OTC. There's a reason, in a similarly-minded field, some ladies "only do outcall."
The "I'm different" part of the article related to what I do for a living moreso than my approach. That's the weird thing -- if she was trying to profile me, she was getting it wrong initially, unless she was double-SS'ing me and getting it wrong on purpose. Said she thought I was an extrovert when I'm really an introvert, though I had done a lot of talking up to that point. Seemed surprised I was from the area when I had already told her I was just in the town where she grew up. Maybe she was doing a stripper version of negging me, but she didn't seem to be concentrating hard enough for that to be the case. Seemed sober & clean, or at least clear-headed in that her dancing was sharp and not sloppy. I was just thinking about whether OTC would be a possibility or not, but when she threw that question in, I got too confused and bewildered to even ask.
The ATM thing ... I dunno. Again, since OTC is on the brain, part of me thinks hitting the ATM is actually a good strategy. It sends a message: I'm not limited by what's in my pocket. I'm at ease with hitting the machine and spending. She and no one, other than me, knows how much more I've got available, other than the fact I'm not unnerved at just plucking a few hundred bucks out of the sky. As such, if you want to negotiate something further and cut out the middle man, I can probably make that happen. Not to mention that if nothing I like steps forward that night, I don't like having all that leftover cash on hand.
As for the creepy vibe, maybe yeah. It's wanting to let it be known you're interested in more than perhaps what the rules allow without losing the flirty part. I will say this: Yes, it can be very transactional, but I don't want a cold, transactional thing. I still want some flirting. That's part of what I want to pay for. I won't pay for "I'll coldly give you $X and you'll coldly perform act X on me." I want a girl that can fake being into me at least somewhat realistically, can hold a good conversation and flirt in addition to giving a good lapper and maybe more. So yeah, I try to flirt, too, and maybe that flirting ends up being creepy if I don't execute it right or the girl doesn't want to flirt back. If that's PL-ish of me, then fine, I'm a PL. I like the sizzle and the steak. This one girl's sizzle just confused me.
I don't feel "entitled" to anything, though. I'm not entitled to OTC for the money; a girl can say no and so be it. I was just trying to figure out what was going on or if I took the clues correctly. It goes back to a topic we've had on here before, too, about OTC, and I don't like to just out-and-out ask as that seems too ... transactional. I like to work my way to it. If the girl at least seems to follow my hints and I like her style, then yeah, I'll ask if she's "available independently." But with this one, though the dances were hot and she had the look I like, she wasn't "getting" me, which left me more confused than it did interested in trying to take the next step.
So yeah, part of me is a PL in that I like some flirt with my grind (or other activities). I come closer to getting it in a club than I do in reality, so if that's PL-ish of me, then I'm a PL. But she could have gotten P4P money from me and she didn't. She ended up getting less from me than she could have, so if it was an "approach" and she was "profiling" and it was purely transactional and about getting $, it didn't work as well as it could have for her.
You guys are also right about something else, though, in that I'm overly analytic and am probably overthinking it. Even with the out-of-town bit, I'm guessing OTC isn't this girl's thing and any further dances or inquiries just would have been money & time wasted. Just trying to better understand what went on and confirm whether or not I'm thinking correctly or missing something for the next time.