I actually know way more guys that are married that don't do either than guys that are married that do either or both. my question is why bother getting married if you're going to wind up doing either or both behind your significant other's back? right before the time you do get married, or even way before then, you should know about yourself whether or not you will be visiting those girls. I've been tempted to ask a couple of my cheating friend's this question but didn't because that might piss them off.
Not sure from your post whether you want opinions from those married a long time, like me. In my case, I have a caring cerebral relationship with my wife. She's great -- sort of a Mother Teresa type. The extracurricular activities are non-emotional, just a fun sexual release. I'm not trying to justify what I do, but it's emotional vs purely physical for me. I don't understand men seeing strippers soon after marriage though.
I don't know how men get married unless there exists some implicit or explicit permission for strip clubs. Goes both ways. Married people don't all of a sudden lose the curiosity to see someone else naked.
I've been married for 24 years to a great woman. I also love Lobster. So imagine eating lobster very day for every meal for 24 years. Every now and then a plate of beans and franks makes a nice change of pace.
I've been married for 24 years to a great woman. I also love Lobster. So imagine eating lobster very day for every meal for 24 years. Every now and then a plate of beans and franks makes a nice change of pace.
It reminds what Paul Newman answered when asked about the temptation working with pretty actresses. He said, "why eat hamburger when you have steak at home". He had steak at home. I like what he said.
I asked the one married guy I work with who goes to strip clubs why he goes when he is married once and he said they have an "open" marriage and that she more or less doesn't care who he has sex with as long as she gets some occasionally. He also said sex with other women makes sex with the wife much more interesting and frequent.
Let's face it: Humans are polygamous animals. Monogamy is a social institution and it goes against our every instinct. Not saying it's impossible to have a monogamous relationship -- it makes everything far more socially acceptable for everyone -- but for some folks, I imagine it can be pretty tough.
I think most guys go into marriage thinking that they will stick with this one woman for all time. I certainly thought that, and I meant it. But it's kind of deceptive because you make that decision when she is young, beautiful, and willing to satisfy all (or at least most) of your sexual needs. Then 20-30 years later she's let herself go, and she has like 5% of that sexual energy left. After many years of putting up with being repeatedly rejected and incredibly sexually frustrated, guys turn to porn, strip, and or escorts. I would rather be having all of the sexual fun that I am with my wife. But that ceased to be a possibility many years ago. There are the exceptional women who don't do this, but for the most part I think this pattern of my marriage is pretty typical.
By the way, I bet a lot more of your friends are doing this than you realize. They just won't tell you. At the very least, some of them are very heavily into porn and have kept it at that because they haven't figured out yet how to get more.
Because it probably is. Guys might get permission to go out with the boys to strip club once in a while, but I doubt many are going to give them permission for extras or hookers. So it's behind their back. Now, I know some of the real internet tough guys here are going to be all like "I don't need permission - I wear the pants!" but then admit that it is all behind their wife's back and they tell many lies to cover their tracks.
I think your situation is the exception, George not the norm. I do know one co-worker whose wife is okay with him having sex with other women - so its a semi-open thing, but she does have to approve of them first.
I think the guy's who actually make their wife aware of what is going on are the real men, as opposed to the tough-talkers but my-action-aren't-consistent with it types.
I won't argue that my wife and I fall outside the statistical norm, if that was your intent. If you were referring to "normal", if anything is true about humans, the only thing that's actually lnormal" is the variety in virtually every human activity.
I agree that we fall outside the mainstream, but I don't think what we have is particularly rare.
I’m 44 and never married – for sorta personal reasons I felt marriage was not for me and thru my 20s I did have marriage on my mind but not so much b/c it’s something I really wanted but more b/c in my mind that is what one was supposed to do with their lives (i.e. get married and have kids).
By my early 30s; I felt more strongly that I did not want to marry and by then I had enough life experience to be aware that there are def 2 sides to the marriage coin (i.e. it’s often not a happily ever after situation).
What JS69 said makes sense to me – but I also think many guys get married fairly young and with not a whole lot of life experience and go into marriage thinking it’s one thing when it’s often much more than that.
I’m a pretty conservative guy and I’m def not against marriage and personally I think marriage is a good thing; but as I have gotten older I feel I made the right decision w.r.t not getting married’ for me personally – the responsibilities of kids and a wife were not something I personally wanted.
I think a lot of it has to do with whether or not you are having to hide it, and whether or not the wife is making an issue of it. Then of course, are you really happy with your wife?
Cheating on her if you are not, does not solve the problem.
I think we all have to find other ways of living, so that we are not being deceptive or duplicitous. In saying this I don't mean to be ragging on anyone in particular. I'm just saying that we shouldn't be saying one thing and then doing something else. We should start assuming responsibility for the ways we have things set up.
If someone habitually cheats, 90% of the time, the spouse will eventually have strong suspicions. Some spouses (more than you'd think) will largely just put it out of their heads, figure what they don't know doesn't hurt them. In most cases, there will be a series of confrontations ending in an ultimatum. If your wife is not the put-it-out-of-her-head type, you can either confess, then get divorced, or get caught, then get divorced. There are some spouses who, if you honestly told them "I can be emotionally but not physically faithful", they'd say "OK at least you respect me enough to be honest" and accept it. But I'd guess that's a fraction of a percent of cases.
With some dancers it feels like you sorta got married but the divorce is painless because when they stop responding to you or dissapear, you just move on. Of course sometimes they pop back up after a month or two acting like it was no big deal. I imagine a wife would never leave you alone for that long unless you went overseas for combat. I remember some dancers that seemed to be really into me kept calling me for no particular reason during the middle of the week.
I agree. If you don't trust your soon to be spouse or agree to stay away from strip clubs or not cheat, why bother getting married? If I got married, I would want the wife to be ok with e. visiting clubs. Maybe she would enjoy coming along as well.
All these stories I hear of men can't visit strip clubs anymore, or can't view porn or even look at other women is just not natural. It would be enough to make many men unhappily married with so many restrictions unless the wife was keeping him happy in other ways.
Mix one part sanctimony and one part "no balls" and this thread is what you get. Of course wives don't want their husbands playing around with other women, in strip clubs or otherwise. Yet easily half of the guys who patronize clubs and other p4p services on a regular basis are married. Take married guys out of clubs and there would probably be far fewer of them in existence.
On the pink site, I once posted a thread about how SW pinks were not representative of the types of girls I see in clubs. The more I post on tuscl, the more I see that I could do the same type of thread here relating to club customers. It is a sad state of affairs when I read thread after thread with guys who believe that ,married men should put their balls in a jar, or blow their savings by falling in love with a stripper, or need to post over and over about cumming in their own pants, or burn large chunks of their day trolling on this site, or...
What's next, another discussion about dental dams? Shit, I didn't even know what a dental dam was until I started visiting this site. Seriously now, is this site really populated by men? Our resident purple, lopaw, has more balls than most of you [in the emotional sense lopaw, lol).
That's it RickyBoy. You give us some more lessons on how to be a "real man" (like you!) Like the one time when you, for months, stayed at home on nights you wanted to go to the strip club because both of your favorites were working at the same time. After all, if one of them saw you talking to the other she might real all offended and that is not something your "real man" self could handle. Yep, you sure are a tough guy, Rick!
^ Actually Dougster, I was fucking both of them OTC and knew that neither would be pleased to know that I was seeing another girl from the same club at the same time. It was that type of place and I knew both girls for over a year by that point. So knowing what I knew, what would you have done differently? Please enlighten us. :)
Oh yeah, and let's have another thread about guys who drive out to hand money over to stripper BFs. Seriously, why not just blow the guy too? Lately I feel like this place has become the Twilight Zone. Un-fucking-real.
What a hilarious interchange!! I haven't been around very long, but now I understand why Dugen is such a legend. Do you really think cheating on your wife and paying for sex in a strip club makes you an example of raw masculinity? None of us are proud about cheating on our wives -- but coming to sites like this to brag about your exploits and writing a primer involving white polyester suits is the height of narcissism. What a cartoon character!
Another 0 and 0 post with an opinion. No Josh, I do not believe that cheating or paying for sex is "an example of raw masculinity." What I am saying is that the guys who are protesting with girly squeals are panty waists.
Changing your story RickyBoy? First you said that it was part of an elaborate that ultimately lead to OTC and now this new story. Still always willing to lie to weasel your out of things. Lol!
Dougster, I don't think I've ever recounted the complete story on here. First it was OTC with one while trying to line up the other one, then it was both for a bit, then it was just the second one when the first one bailed one two many times on an excursion that took some planning on my part.
So again, with the facts that I previously presented, how would you have handled it? We are not talking about Follies or Detroit here. It was a small club in a conservative, semi-rural area with dancers who worked in the same club for years. Both of these girls were solid 9s and it took a fuckload of visits before I could land either one. Would you have risked losing one or both by making things awkward?
"What's next, another discussion about dental dams? Shit, I didn't even know what a dental dam was until I started visiting this site. Seriously now, is this site really populated by men?"
Right, because seeking to protect one's spouse, who's done nothing wrong, from the potential consequences of one's own actions is unmanly.
Hey gmd, weren't you recently barebacking a stripper? Was it the same stripper who you were whispering proclamations of love late one night in a hotel bed?
Oh yeah, obviously your wife is priority number one when you are playing around with dancers. ;)
Sorry RickyBoy. No you don't get to get away with changing your story inch by inch. Not that your anything other than a complete pussy in the latest iteration, either. Along with all your othet anecdotes where you are exactly that.
Good try at deflecting from your non-answer and gmd's combination of pussy traits and hypocrisy. No go dude. Answer the question already. How would you have handled it? :)
@Dugan: "Another 0 and 0 post with an opinion. What I am saying is that the guys who are protesting with girly squeals are panty waists."
Someday, Dugan, when the sun finally sets and your time is come, they will lay you in the ground wearing the finest of fine white polyester. That way you can pay strippers for sex in your afterlife. Your headstone will also be the finest white marble and the inscription will say:
"Here lies Dugan. He was a bit of a douche, but he had 12,214,342 club reviews on TUSCL to his credit. And, as God be my witness, he was never a panty waist."
I hear ya Josh, though this is just entertainment dude, not real life. I rather hope that my headstone will talk about my role as a father and an overall good man, but time will tell. ;)
But what I actually find douchy is a handful of unmarried guys sermonizing to married guys about clubs and strippers, as if they are the norm rather than the other way around. If married guys actually subscribed to their theories, many clubs would simply cease to exist. Not all of us use clubs as some surrogate for real relationships, getting so caught up in these faux relationships that we do things like drive out and hand money to their BFs, or haul boxes out of another PLs house, or whisper endearments meant solely for SOs, or [fill in here with another recent example].
And if I am a douche, well, one person's "douchiness" is another person's discipline. I always treat my "friends" (as I call them) with kindness and I always pay them fairly, but discipline is what keeps the ridiculous amount of fun that I have, with dancers in clubs all over the country, from bleeding into my real life. It is also what keeps my annual spending on this hobby from detracting from my other obligations.
"Hey gmd, weren't you recently barebacking a stripper? Was it the same stripper who you were whispering proclamations of love late one night in a hotel bed?"
Yep. And guess who knows all about both of those things? Not only that, but guess who saw the results of *both* sets of STD tests?
Barebacking a prostitute, sharing a bed with her all night, telling her you love her, and then going back to your wife, isn't any more ok just because you've found one of the few women willing to tolerate it.
By the way, was the prostitute tested before each and every bareback session? I'm guessing not. So then were you relying upon her word that she wasn't fucking anyone else bareback for money? Boy, you sound like a trusting soul. ;)
I'm also curious about what your wife was doing when you were spending nights sharing that oh so special bareback love with the prostitute, cuddling up after a good round of raw sex and drifting off to sleep with "I love you" whispered in that low bedroom voice. No doubt your wife was trying to get to sleep in her cold empty bed with the Tonight Show on, or anything else to distract her from what her husband was doing with another woman at that moment.
Oh yeah, you're a hero alright. Perhaps you should spare us the sanctimony already. It is both tiresome and disingenuous.
I'll refrain from posting what my wife said when she read that. Mostly because it would make *another* troll entirely too happy for our own good. I will tell you that her laughter lasted quite some time. :)
If it helps you sleep at night to think of me that way, go for it. I've acknowledged my pathetic nature, but I can still look my wife in the eye every morning.
Interesting. So which of my statements was inaccurate? The fact that you repeatedly fucked a hooker bareback, the fact that you left your wife home alone all night so that you could do so, or the fact that you spoke words to the hooker that are normally reserved for the people who dedicate their lives to us?
Look gmd, I'm not trying to troll you, but what I am doing is pointing out that none of us on this board are immune from criticism for the things that we do. We all pay strippers for sex. To people who don't do that sort of thing, we all fall into a contemptible designation. Sanctimony around these parts is misplaced, to say the least, and the "Noble John" act presented by some posting here is borderline ludicrous.
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By the way, I bet a lot more of your friends are doing this than you realize. They just won't tell you. At the very least, some of them are very heavily into porn and have kept it at that because they haven't figured out yet how to get more.
I think your situation is the exception, George not the norm. I do know one co-worker whose wife is okay with him having sex with other women - so its a semi-open thing, but she does have to approve of them first.
I think the guy's who actually make their wife aware of what is going on are the real men, as opposed to the tough-talkers but my-action-aren't-consistent with it types.
I agree that we fall outside the mainstream, but I don't think what we have is particularly rare.
By my early 30s; I felt more strongly that I did not want to marry and by then I had enough life experience to be aware that there are def 2 sides to the marriage coin (i.e. it’s often not a happily ever after situation).
What JS69 said makes sense to me – but I also think many guys get married fairly young and with not a whole lot of life experience and go into marriage thinking it’s one thing when it’s often much more than that.
I’m a pretty conservative guy and I’m def not against marriage and personally I think marriage is a good thing; but as I have gotten older I feel I made the right decision w.r.t not getting married’ for me personally – the responsibilities of kids and a wife were not something I personally wanted.
Cheating on her if you are not, does not solve the problem.
SJG
Without actually saying it, it appears you are making the assumption that people marry ONLY for love...it's not.
SJG
All these stories I hear of men can't visit strip clubs anymore, or can't view porn or even look at other women is just not natural. It would be enough to make many men unhappily married with so many restrictions unless the wife was keeping him happy in other ways.
On the pink site, I once posted a thread about how SW pinks were not representative of the types of girls I see in clubs. The more I post on tuscl, the more I see that I could do the same type of thread here relating to club customers. It is a sad state of affairs when I read thread after thread with guys who believe that ,married men should put their balls in a jar, or blow their savings by falling in love with a stripper, or need to post over and over about cumming in their own pants, or burn large chunks of their day trolling on this site, or...
What's next, another discussion about dental dams? Shit, I didn't even know what a dental dam was until I started visiting this site. Seriously now, is this site really populated by men? Our resident purple, lopaw, has more balls than most of you [in the emotional sense lopaw, lol).
Seriously sad state of affairs around here.
Please replace Mickey with Ricky:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NW7VnHnX3…
Right, because seeking to protect one's spouse, who's done nothing wrong, from the potential consequences of one's own actions is unmanly.
Then I'm a pussy. And I'm ok with that.
Oh yeah, obviously your wife is priority number one when you are playing around with dancers. ;)
Someday, Dugan, when the sun finally sets and your time is come, they will lay you in the ground wearing the finest of fine white polyester. That way you can pay strippers for sex in your afterlife. Your headstone will also be the finest white marble and the inscription will say:
"Here lies Dugan. He was a bit of a douche, but he had 12,214,342 club reviews on TUSCL to his credit. And, as God be my witness, he was never a panty waist."
But what I actually find douchy is a handful of unmarried guys sermonizing to married guys about clubs and strippers, as if they are the norm rather than the other way around. If married guys actually subscribed to their theories, many clubs would simply cease to exist. Not all of us use clubs as some surrogate for real relationships, getting so caught up in these faux relationships that we do things like drive out and hand money to their BFs, or haul boxes out of another PLs house, or whisper endearments meant solely for SOs, or [fill in here with another recent example].
And if I am a douche, well, one person's "douchiness" is another person's discipline. I always treat my "friends" (as I call them) with kindness and I always pay them fairly, but discipline is what keeps the ridiculous amount of fun that I have, with dancers in clubs all over the country, from bleeding into my real life. It is also what keeps my annual spending on this hobby from detracting from my other obligations.
Good times.
Yep. And guess who knows all about both of those things? Not only that, but guess who saw the results of *both* sets of STD tests?
Can you say the same?
I'm a pussy, though, so pay no attention to me.
By the way, was the prostitute tested before each and every bareback session? I'm guessing not. So then were you relying upon her word that she wasn't fucking anyone else bareback for money? Boy, you sound like a trusting soul. ;)
I'm also curious about what your wife was doing when you were spending nights sharing that oh so special bareback love with the prostitute, cuddling up after a good round of raw sex and drifting off to sleep with "I love you" whispered in that low bedroom voice. No doubt your wife was trying to get to sleep in her cold empty bed with the Tonight Show on, or anything else to distract her from what her husband was doing with another woman at that moment.
Oh yeah, you're a hero alright. Perhaps you should spare us the sanctimony already. It is both tiresome and disingenuous.
If it helps you sleep at night to think of me that way, go for it. I've acknowledged my pathetic nature, but I can still look my wife in the eye every morning.
Look gmd, I'm not trying to troll you, but what I am doing is pointing out that none of us on this board are immune from criticism for the things that we do. We all pay strippers for sex. To people who don't do that sort of thing, we all fall into a contemptible designation. Sanctimony around these parts is misplaced, to say the least, and the "Noble John" act presented by some posting here is borderline ludicrous.