Can't figure out this dancer

20 comments

• impala

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  10 years ago

  Sounds like to me that she doesn't remember what she does with who. It may be that she just see so many people that it is hard for her to keep it strait. It may be that she does what she wants to when she wants to to make herself feel good, or normal, or wanted, or something. The fact that she buys her own drinks isn't necessary meaning that she isn't in it for the money. Some dancers do this to make you think that money doesn't matter to them, and will get you to ask for more in the back and recover their costs their (I know, she is going above and beyond now, we will get back to this). Also, some don't let customers buy them drinks so that they are not committed to sitting with customers just in case someone else comes in that they may want to spend some time with (either a regular customer, a bigger spender, a friend, or just to be able to go to someone else in case nothing is happening with you at that time). As far as her not asking for extra money for doing extras, some dancers just do that (they are rare, but they do exist, and they usually don't hang around too long). She may just like the thrill of getting away with something in the club. She may need it for her own twisted self worth. From my experience, though, ones that do that initially either are looking for a sugar daddy, a boyfriend (and that usually is again for someone to take care of them so they car either leave dancing or even halo with her expenses), or she is looking for clients for the next step (wether it be in the club FS extras or OTC service). I have even known a few dancers that were also escorts that used strip clubs to help build or maintain their client lists. That all being said, you may have one of the rare ones that just likes to fool around in the VIP, but I seriously doubt it. To end, have fun, be careful, and keep us all informed.
• footballguy

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  10 years ago

  I thought the same thing of her possibly just not remembering who she did what with. Ive seen her once a week for the past three weeks but it could still be easy for her to forget what she and I did. And i also shouldn't assume that just because she did something with me once doesn't mean she will do it again. like you said, there are probably several factors that play into how far she wants to go on a particular night. We did have some good conversations last night, she was a little more personal and talked about some problems she has overcome. I'm friends with her on facebook and it's her real account. She got kids but she's single. I talked with her briefly a few days ago to see if she would be working on a particular night and we made a little small talk too. She told me last night not to be a stranger and that I could messenger of facebook. Man, if I was single I'd really trying for a real relationship with this girl. I'm hoping she'll eventually offer some type of OTC but I haven't brought it up at all cause I don't know how to and she already said she doesn't do that. But honestly I'd just be happy to meet up with her for lunch or something. I've heard all the warnings about SS but this girl doesn't give off that vibe at all. When I talk with her I don't even feel like I'm talking with a dancer.
• Club_Goer_Seattle

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  10 years ago

  Impala's speculation is very good. I concur. However, just be mindful of the conventional wisdom: Enjoy it while it lasts, because it could end at any time. You need to be prepared for a sudden ending.
• JohnSmith69

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  10 years ago

  FGG, interesting story. I wouldn’t necessarily agree that you hit the jackpot, but I do agree that the girl has good potential. Here are some suggestions on the questions you raise. First, you obviously have not had any lessons in the language of StipperSpeak. Let me illustrate. When a stripper says “I don’t do x,” where x is some form of sexual service, this can mean one of two things in StripperSpeak. The first, less likely meaning, is that she does not do x for any of her customers. The second, more likely meaning in StripperSpeak, is that she does not do x for all customers who walk in the door and pay for VIP, but she does do x for customers that she chooses to do it for. Here’s an example. You go to VIP and she gives you full service. You walk out of VIP, sit at a table, and she says about another dancer coming out of VIP: “that bitch is a total whore, I know she just fucked that guy in there.” In normal English, such a person would be an incredible hypocrite for criticizing a co-employee for doing exactly what they have just done. However, in StipperSpeak, this criticism makes perfect sense. What the dancer is really saying is that “that bitch is a whore because she fucks every guy who walks into this club and pays for VIP whereas I am not a whore because I limit those I fuck in some way that only I understand.” Applying these standards to your ATF, you can see that her words make perfect sense. In StripperSpeak, she really doesn’t give blow jobs in the club. What she means is that she does give blow jobs in the club but not to everyone, just to some select group of customers of which you are at least potentially a part. As for what she does for you in VIP, don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you are being too much of a pitiful little PL. You just sit there in VIP hoping that she will do what you want, and you take whatever she offers you as if you are totally helpless. That may be necessary for the first time you are with a dancer, but you have a relationship with this girl. It’s time to man up and ask for some customer service. I’m not saying that you should rape her, but why are you so passive? It’s like your afraid of her. Tell her nicely and respectively what you want. Say “I loved it when you did x, would you please do that for me again,” or “could you please do x, I love that,” etc. You can also say “I’ll tip you $x if you do x.” Don’t be a doormat. Ask for what you want, especially if your request is reasonable and most especially if your request is something that she has done previously. My last point, and this is something that I’m just learning myself, is that you shouldn’t always view sex with a stripper as just something that gets you off. In other words, sometimes consider the possibility that she might like to get some sexual pleasure from you. If you do, then she will probably be more accommodating to your needs. This is especially true when dealing with a dancer that you have a regular relationship with. Now I’m not saying that all strippers want sex with customers or anything like that. It’s a job for them, and most of the time they’re just going through the motions when they have sex with us and all they want is our money. I get all of that. However, they are still women, and sometimes as women they want you to treat them sexually like they are a civilian and not just a whore. A perfect example is when this girl put her crotch in your face and clearly wanted some pleasure from you. What did you do? You turned away like her pussy is poison. It’s no surprise under those circumstances that she doesn’t want to suck your dick again. If you had started licking on her clit instead, I’d be willing to bet that you’d be getting more of those blow jobs that you want. As an aside, if you research the issue beyond the superficial web sites that say that all oral sex is dangerous, you will find that performing oral sex on a woman is very low risk from an STD perspective. I’m not saying that you should tongue fuck her and stick your tongue all the way inside her for an hour, and I’m not saying that you should go around licking the pussy of every skank in a club, but you’re almost certainly not going to catch anything from just licking the clit of your ATF for a few minutes. She takes a much bigger risk sucking you off. As for her views on money, I’m afraid that I’m going to be compared to SJG again or that Steve will demand an executive summary of this post. So I’ll let others comment on that issue.
• jackslash

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  10 years ago

  You can't figure out a dancer? Join the club.
• impala

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  10 years ago

  Club, I whole heartedly agree. Enjoy the good times while they last. It's just my experience (and I've been doing this now for about a half a century) that most strippers know how to give us the fantasy that we are looking for, that is how they make their money. When we go to strip clubs, different guys are looking for different things. Some are just going looking for sex, some are looking for companionship, some are looking for a girlfriend for the evening, even though we know when we walk out that door the "relationship" is over, at least for now (and yes, some text with us, or talk to us on face book, etc.). But that is what they do, they give us the fantasy that we are missing in our day to day lives, and that is the service that they provide. Isn't that why we go to strip clubs, to think (at least for a few hours) that a hot 23 year old is interested in me?
• footballguy

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  10 years ago

  @JohnSmith That's some solid advice. It makes sense, especially the part about how I should have gone down on her. I'm really regretting not doing that. Looking back it's pretty obvious that's what she wanted me to do. Hopefully I'll get the opportunity again.
• impala

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  10 years ago

  Football guy, good luck to you with her, and I hope that you have fun. I know I sound cynical but I really do enjoy the strip clubs. Let us know how you make out.
• footballguy

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  10 years ago

  Thank you, I appreciate the advice encouragement from everyone. I'll keep everyone updated, hopefully I'll have a good story.
• Papi_Chulo

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  10 years ago

  Well – sometimes it’s hard to know a definitive answer to something so all we can do is sorta “approximate” – i.e. ask yourself if you have regularly in your life done as well w/ good looking women as you have with this dancer – if the answer is “yes”; then perhaps you may be a 1-percenter (the 1% of PLs that a dancer actually/genuinely likes and gets turned on by the PL) – if the answer is “no – not really” then you are in the 99% of PLs where you are just a good customer and she is just a good dancer. The more one SCs the more one sees and recognizes a trend in dancer behavior/SS – it may be that you are in PL elementary-school (i.e. not been around the SC block enough) to see it for what it probably is (you are just a custy she likes as a “custy”) – or maybe you *are* a 1-percenter PL.
• SuperDude

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  10 years ago

  Wait until she asks for her first "loan."
• impala

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  10 years ago

  Or tells that her car just broke down or she can't make rent or has a fine she needs to pay
• bubba267

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  10 years ago

  I've run into 3-4 girls, out of hundreds sampled, who truly, consistently, treated the money aspect as secondary or even not important at all. It is possible that you have one here. JS69, Papi and others covered most angles but I would add that she sounds like a pleaser that wants to find out what you like. She has offered/experimented with a huge variety, but it sounds like you haven't given her much, if any, feedback and positive reinforcement for what you like. Pleasers need that to be the best they can be. BTW.... Do the rest of us a favor and post a review. Help those skeptical, like me, know your aren't a troll or moocher.
• Papi_Chulo

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  10 years ago

  I guess where I’m coming from is reading the OP as seeing this dancer as more than a dancer and perhaps thinking she is genuinely into him, which could be – but more often than not – way more often – it is really unlikely a dancer will “fall” for a custy whom is paying her (unless you’re Richard Gere I suppose :)) – women don’t tend to respect that shit – to me it comes across as the OP being in very close proximity to RIL territory – not saying these are the facts; just the way I read it and I could be wrong.
• georgmicrodong

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  10 years ago

  Run. Now. Save yourself before it's too late.
• GACA

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  10 years ago

  @Footballguy, sounds like every crazy girl I've ever dated. You my friend are a nice guy. They know this. They want you to fall in love and get emotionally invested (and no I don't think she's doing it on purpose, they don't think about what they're doing that hard) and once they feel they have you. Shit gets real. But you want to learn that lesson for yourself, I can tell you're hard headed like me. Just remember when Shit plays out, it's nothing personal, it's just the life of us romantic narcissists and the strippers we fall for.
• GACA

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  10 years ago

  Oh and Bubba has a point...better put up some reviews. We are all selfish self important center of the universe here, but nobody gets to be the exception of not contributing to reviews. I'm interested in going to this alleged club with said dancer...I would like to know where to drive.
• Papi_Chulo

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  10 years ago

  Yeah – tells us the club and we’ll visit it and figure out the dancer for you
• alabegonz

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  10 years ago

  You should just take it like it is and simply enjoy the moments you are with her. Over time, the real thing will have to come out. By the time she wears out, you should be on your next chapter already. Hope you get what I'm saying. Just have fun and don't look forward into the future.
• PhantomGeek

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  10 years ago

  Footballguy, I agree with the other guys -- it could be a lot of stripper speak; it could be sex is her promotional way to get you hooked on her; it could be she actually likes you. There are any number of possibilities, but one other option I'm going to throw out there is that she might be getting drugged, possibly by a bartender or one of the other dancers. Some drugs lower the inhibitions and cause some degree of amnesia. Any idea if any of her co-workers are experiencing the same thing? Whatever the situation actually is, good luck, man. I really do hope things work out for the best.