tuscl

weekend recap: coronas and coke dick

Sunday, July 13, 2014 4:28 PM
Usual weekend recap time guys. I'll mostly just address Saturday night as nothing too eventful (besides the usual debauchery) transpired on Friday. So, Saturday night, the stripper comes over at around 230am - after some party she went to for some friends. I had spent the majority of my night drinking 1942 and pineapple juice at FDR (a club around here). She comes over and looks ridiculous. Huge black stripper heels, skin tight pink dress that just barely covers her ass and her (fake) DD tits popping out. Shes already wasted and so am I, and somewhere in our drunken stage we decide to go grab some coronas (absolute shit beer, but at the time it's what we wanted). We took the Viper ACR to a nearby 24 hours walgreens and got 24 coronas. Stupidly, we chugged two of them each in the empty parking lot then I floored it back to my house in the viper. Please note - driving drunk in a viper acr is very very hard. 600 horsepower with no traction control or active handling. So, I'm pretty impressed with myself. We get to my place and start slamming the beers and snorting coke. Basically we'd try to chug one whole beer and then do a "headbuster" (a huge line of cocaine). We did this, while smoking weed, for hours. By 530am or so I'm seeing sideways but I want to fuck. She takes off the dress, keeping the heels on, and lies on my couch. Pulls her legs over her head and starts fingering herself. Fuck. My dick isn't super hard but hard enough to get a condom on. I put it on but it's not hard enough to get in her pussy. I keep trying. No luck. She starts talking dirty to me while fingering herself, legs still over her head, high heels in the air, big tits pushed together. I'm jerking off frantically, drenched in sweat from the coke, seeing sideways, heart in my throat. My dick will not work. Fuck. I tell her to hold on, I need to take a viagra. I take one. Then I figure fuck it may as well take 2 to be sure. We spend the next hour smoking cigarettes. Finally I feel like I'm ready to do it so she gets on her knees and starts sucking my dick. She gives good deepthroat and will hold it all the way done while she kinda chokes. My dick gets hard so she bends over the couch and spreads her pussy from behind. I try again. Can't hold the erection very well but after a few tries I get it in. Well, it became pretty clear that: 1) my dick was not working from all the coke 2) if I pulled out I wouldn't get it back in 3) I was never going to cum So I pretended to orgasm and cum in my condom, pulled out, threw a beer bottle at the wall and told her to go home. Closed my bedroom door took 2 ambiens and passed out. I guess she left at some point. Fucking waste. Fuck cocaine.

27 comments

  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    GOD YOU ARE JUST SO AWESOME LMN !!!! WOW, YOU HAVE A VIPER ACR?? AND YOU FUCK HOT STRIPPERS LIKE THAT?? AND YOU PARTY LIKE THAT?? WOW LMN, YOU'RE AWESOME !!! (is that what you wanted, LMN?)
  • steve229
    •
    10 years ago
    Wait, Corona - seriously?
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    I've heard varying reports on the effects of Coke on erectile ability. Some report it hinders it while some report it enhances it. Same thing with MDMA - results seem to vary between individuals and it's common to mix it with Viagra. Forget what the standard slang for that is.
  • LMN
    •
    10 years ago
    Dougster Cocaine is vasoconstrictive so it should, on paper, impede any male's ability to get and maintain an erection. I've had sex on coke many many times but the erection is rarely as hard as if there was no cocaine in the mix. Conversely, methamphetamine has a very opposite effect. I party with adderall and desoxyn on occasion and I can and have fucked for hours with a great hard on and no viagra on that stuff. As far as mdma goes...sex really isn't my number one priority when rolling. touching feels good but it's an emotional experience not really a sexual one.
  • jerikson40
    •
    10 years ago
    So we take the Viper ACR out of the driveway and drive the Viper ACR down the street to the 24 hour Walgreens, where I park my Viper ACR. So I lock my Viper ACR and go into the Walgreens, and when I come out we get back into my 600 HP Viper ACR and drive back home, where I park my Viper ACR in the driveway of my huge estate. You know, the estate where I party and do drugs with hot strippers. Because, honestly, I'm LMN and I'm awesome. Don't you think so? Huh? Aren't I awesome?
  • Rev.Long
    •
    10 years ago
    For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    @LMN: Re: coke. So it doesn't depend on whether their blood pressure is on the high or low end of the range to begin with?
  • LMN
    •
    10 years ago
    Jerikson I understand you don't like my lifestyle. Don't read my threads? FYI - I don't party and do drugs with strippers at my actual home that I own. I rent a room at a hotel/residence in the vicinity which is where we go. No way I want these hookers knowing where I live.
  • LMN
    •
    10 years ago
    Dougster Maybe. I'm sure that has an effect too but cocaine causes vasoconstriction regardless. Mixing viagra and cocaine is actually really bad for you due to the blood pressure issues.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    Yeah, I've heard of mixing MDMA and Viagra being somewhat standard, but never anything about Coke and Viagra. Maybe a good thing to keep in mind when I'm older and wilder, though. :-)
  • LMN
    •
    10 years ago
    Mdma and viagra is bad too. Stimulants greatly raise your blood pressure. I do it all the time and I'm "fine" but it isn't healthy.
  • ime
    •
    10 years ago
    Do more
  • Rev.Long
    •
    10 years ago
    Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will inherit the kingdom of juicebox.
  • Rev.Long
    •
    10 years ago
    Whoredom, wine, and new wine, which gives understanding.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    Now why can't we have more educational threads like this instead of the standard "I know strippers are all about the money, but they seem to genuinely like me beyond just my money. No I didn't just contradict myself!"
  • zipman68
    •
    10 years ago
    So LMN dude...how do you know it wasn't Corona dick?
  • jester214
    •
    10 years ago
    Remember when this d-bag first came around and went on about how he was so terrified of DUI's and spent tons paying a driver so he wouldn't get a DUI? Guess he realized that little bit of fiction didn't work for the audience.
  • LMN
    •
    10 years ago
    @jester214 I am terrified of DUI's as any intelligent person should be. The distance from Walgreens to my crash pad is less than 5 miles. Thus I took my car without much worry. The only other time I posted about driving extremely drunk, I specifically said taking my car was a mistake. Sorry, try again.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    I think LMN had admitted that reason he drinks and drives is because he just doesn't care. Doesn't try to come up with ridiculous rationalization a like certain other on the board (that jestie idolizes) do. At least the guy is honest!
  • mikeya02
    •
    10 years ago
    Dougster, take it from me, there is no such thing as "coke dick". ESPECIALLY for a guy in his 20's. LMN sure tries hard to make his stories "dramatic"
  • LMN
    •
    10 years ago
    Mikey Stop embarrassing yourself. Please.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    I can't really say too much but maybe a friend of a friend of mine noticed the opposite reaction (enhancement) and when he mentioned it to a Stripper he knew she said some guys have the other (limp dick) reaction.
  • jester214
    •
    10 years ago
    So LMN is terrified of DUI's. So he'll pay hundreds for a driver on the weekends. Except sometimes he just drives anyways, which is a "mistake". And if it's a short distance, he doesn't worry about it? But Dugly says he just doesn't care? Makes sense.
  • mikeya02
    •
    10 years ago
    ^^^mid twenties and has to take Viagra....lol... why do you sound 17, with no life experience?
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    Man, it's tempting to read Jestie's post even though I've put him in the ignore penalty box for a while... Will you guys let know if he ever posts anything objective/worthwhile? Sure wouldn't want to miss the day that happens!
  • jester214
    •
    10 years ago
    LOL. Trap Dugly in the corner and suddenly claims to put me on ignore. Priceless.
  • Dougster
    •
    10 years ago
    ^^^ is he spazzing out? So tempting to look! :-)
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