So, I get home from an amazing day at the beach. What do I see in my cozy little condo but WWIII. My roommate/relative and his girlfriend/best friend's cousin are arguing. My neighbor/roommates best friend is at it with his wife. Everybody is acting like a bunch of bitches.
Sad or Best part of the day. My 9 year old niece was stung by a stray jelly fish. First sting for her. She was tougher than these damn adults. She cried less, too. She's a real beach bitch, hardcore.
Replies (5)
Slick,should have had your niece walk in screaming"SHUT THE FUCK UP".
Kick them in the nuts
A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting.
"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says.
The two Englishmen just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?"
The two continue to stare.
"Parlare Italiano?"
No response,
"Hablan ustedes Espanol?"
Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted.
The first Englishman turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language...."
"Why?" says the other, "That bloke knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good."
And now, to my shame, I Fucked a civie gal 12 years my senior, au natural, no pills, while I thought some folk were asleep. At least my neighbors wife can verify that I got at least ten good minutes. Never mind. They still never woke up. Damn alcoholics.
Lol
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