My official offer to Hotstuff69babi!
LNM
This is my official offer to Hotstuff69babi to come down to Miami and fuck me for money while doing tons of drugs and also wiping blood off my face.
What I require:
- First send me a picture of your face, then a picture of your body naked, then a picture of you doing a headstand, then two forms of government ID so I can verify your age, then your social security number.
- You to perform whatever sex acts I demand at a moments notice
- That you bring a strap-on. DON'T ASK WHY JUST DO IT
- You do whatever drugs I want (this helps us both feel better about what we're doing).*
- You to leave the room with 8 seconds of my ejaculating
- Don't ever try to fucking make conversation or suggest we do anything beside drugs and/or sex
- Tell me that I'm awesome and say “mommy loves you†a lot.
- An upbeat attitude! (combined with a huge amount of self loathing)
What you will receive:
- Travel expenses to Southern Florida in the form of a voucher of up to $500 on America's Gold Standard of travel: Amtrak!
- Compensation valued up to $900 per day! (Comprised of a small amount of cash, several hundred dollars in assorted coupons and gift cards and the rest in a check you can't cash till the 28th)
- Full unfettered access to my “crash padâ€. A lovely flophouse located within walking distance of some of the areas finest crack houses and check cashing places. It may sound unsafe but don't worry, the police are around all the time!
- A veritable all you can eat smorgasbord of illegal narcotics!
What you might receive:
- A very dark spot on your soul.
- Shot(s) of penicillin or comparable antibiotics.
- Up to 11 minutes of the best sex of your life!**
So shoot me a PM with the pics and we'll get the ball rolling. I'll even take you to a really famous nightclub (where we unfortunately won't be able to get in because “the guy I know†just happens to not be working). Don't forget the strap-on!
*Good veins are going to be a necessity
**This is predicated on my drug addled penis actually getting erect
What I require:
- First send me a picture of your face, then a picture of your body naked, then a picture of you doing a headstand, then two forms of government ID so I can verify your age, then your social security number.
- You to perform whatever sex acts I demand at a moments notice
- That you bring a strap-on. DON'T ASK WHY JUST DO IT
- You do whatever drugs I want (this helps us both feel better about what we're doing).*
- You to leave the room with 8 seconds of my ejaculating
- Don't ever try to fucking make conversation or suggest we do anything beside drugs and/or sex
- Tell me that I'm awesome and say “mommy loves you†a lot.
- An upbeat attitude! (combined with a huge amount of self loathing)
What you will receive:
- Travel expenses to Southern Florida in the form of a voucher of up to $500 on America's Gold Standard of travel: Amtrak!
- Compensation valued up to $900 per day! (Comprised of a small amount of cash, several hundred dollars in assorted coupons and gift cards and the rest in a check you can't cash till the 28th)
- Full unfettered access to my “crash padâ€. A lovely flophouse located within walking distance of some of the areas finest crack houses and check cashing places. It may sound unsafe but don't worry, the police are around all the time!
- A veritable all you can eat smorgasbord of illegal narcotics!
What you might receive:
- A very dark spot on your soul.
- Shot(s) of penicillin or comparable antibiotics.
- Up to 11 minutes of the best sex of your life!**
So shoot me a PM with the pics and we'll get the ball rolling. I'll even take you to a really famous nightclub (where we unfortunately won't be able to get in because “the guy I know†just happens to not be working). Don't forget the strap-on!
*Good veins are going to be a necessity
**This is predicated on my drug addled penis actually getting erect
11 comments
#TurnDownForWhat
Ol' LMN never offered to taker her by his work to show her how he makes the onion rings and introduce her to his manager, Mr. McGee.