Let's all help LMN write a sex guide!

I bet it would contain hints like:

The best way to turn a chick on is to get all high on blow, snorted directly out of a condom still lodged in the rectum of a mule. You can accomplish this by piercing the condom with a McDonalds coffee stirrer. Sure it may kill the mule from a cocaine overdose but mules don't count as people 'cos they aren't rich like me. Then you pop a Viagra to compensate for the coke dick. Start by slappin' her titties and calling her a whore. All chicks dig that. Then straddle her with your legs akimbo so the non-existent camer can catch your nut sack swingin' like a Newton's cradle. Then give her $2K and tell her to get out of your $3500 suite. All chicks want to be treated like porn stars. Finally, you begin to bleed profusely from the nose 'cos a law of nature is that only Stevie Nicks can do as much coke as you've just tried to do.

If he collaborated with Juice they could add a few hundred pages on the use of KFC as a sex toy.

C'mon brothers, add your thoughts! This could be better than "The Joy of Sex"