Stupidest thing a stripper has ever said to you?

I got one dance from a really hot stripper once that had a really stinky pussy. One and done and never again

@CJ-Did her coochie do the talking? Give it a breath mint.

Said to me: "You must be stuck up, because you are wearing a suit and tie."

In the Champagne Room time was about to end, we'd just finished very satisfying sex, and she was using a damp wipe to clean her pussy. She asked if I was familiar with female anatomy and I assured her that while not a gynecologist, I knew the names of the parts and their location. She asked me if I'd please reach up her pussy and render an opinion on whether she had a bump on her cervix. Not having my LL Bean headlamp, I had to do it by Braille and everything seemed to be ok to my sensitive fingers. While I was in about to my wrist the waitress arrived to tell me my hour was up. The 3 of us had a good laugh with the waitress offering to get a rope in case I wanted to climb in. Why do we spend 9 months getting out and the rest of our lives trying to get back in?

"Do you want me to suck it?" :)

Lol slick...all I had was gum. I will have to keep some tic tacs with me

When she read the label on my jacket: "'Carhartt'? Is that your name?"

hey honey you can plow my field & leave your seed in my soil for $400 in the VIP room.

I agree with Shadowcat, when it's pole-smoking time, don't be dumb, get to work!

I can't remember at the moment so I will leave with a dancer's stupid turn off comment killing a minute before she was going to start a lap dance. " Do you have kids?"
me, no
Her, " I have 3. They are 2, 3, and 5. Ok the song started."

That's stupid to make me think about your kids when the dance is supposed to turn me on. That is if she wanted to do additional dances.

I've had two, count 'em two, argue with me saying that antibiotics could be used to treat viral infections like the cold and the flu. On these girls also had no idea where in the world Cairo was, or that there even was such a city.

It's a tie for everything any stripper has ever said to me

Talking about her dog just died through most of the private. Really couldn't have ended soon enough with her. Plus she was apparently way to high on something that it took forever for her to accept i didn't want another dance.

Gee, Dougster, everyone knows that Cairo is in Illinois.

I had one girl who went to get paper towels from the attendant and said she had to tell her I spilled a drink on to her crotch if asked.

Do you want to stick it in? ... Duh!

Once when I told a dancer that I was an engineer she asked if I was the conductor on the train. She was serious.

A stripper told me. a spider bit her on her pussy and she ended up in the ER. She said it hurt like crazy.
Then she asked, you want to see a picture? duh, sure. why wouldn't I want to see.
I was glad she had her phone on her. She reasoned it was ok to see her pussy since I've already seen it a hundred times already.

I knew her before she started working at the club.

Something about strippers - they are the most geographically challenged people I have ever met. I was once in a south Florida club and a dancer asked me where I was from. I said, "Michigan". She replied, "oh, what direction is that from here".

Let me see...we have the Atlantic Ocean to the east. The Gulf of Mexico to the West. The Keys and Cuba to the south. Hmmm, I wonder what.'s left? Duh.

Dancer: I can guess your profession just by looking at you -- Me: what do I do (attorney). Dancer: cop or fireman. Me: Why do you say that? Dancer: All cops and firemen have the same cheesy 70's mustache. Had a beard since that day.

Dancers say stupid shit? Well this is news to me.