Excuses Strippers Use Not to have Sex with You
Excuses Strippers Use Not to have Sex with You
1 I can't. I'm having my period
2 I've got a headache
3 My boyfriend would kick my ass
4 My boyfriend would kick your ass
5 I feel fat
6 I'm too tired
7 You give me the creeps
8 We can do it next week
9 I have a toothache
10 I have trust issues
11 I can't. I'm having my period next week
12 It's not you, it's me
13 Why would you want to do that?
14 I have cramps
15 Not tonight
16 I vowed not to have sex until Iran gives up its nuclear program
17 I couldn't do that to my husband
18 I couldn't do that to your wife
19 I couldn't do that to my wife
20 I thought you were a nice guy
21 I don't want to do anything to ruin our friendship
22 I have an appointment with my gynecologist tomorrow…And after that I have an appointment with my dentist
23 You had sex with that skank Tiffany last week
24 You can't afford it
25 I'm sore
26 I'm too full
27 Why don't we just talk?
28 I can't. I had my period last week.
29 I'm sweaty
30 You're sweaty
31 Let's just snuggle
32 Seriously?
33 I'm too drunk
34 I'm saving myself for marriage
35 You wouldn't respect me afterwards
36 I feel depressed
37 Jesus told me not to
38 I can't. I have PMS
39 I'm sorry. My boyfriend's dick is so big I wouldn't even be able to feel yours
40 I've got a green discharge
41 I'm a lesbian
42 I have a cold and I wouldn't want you to catch it
43 I'm not in the mood
44 I don't feel attractive
45 I already had sex with 12 guys tonight
46 I don't want my hair to get mussed
47 I'm too high
48 I don't feel sexy
49 I got my tampon stuck up inside me last week and it's still uncomfortable up there
50 I'm confused about how I feel about you
51 It will cost you $1000
52 I feel bloated
53 I've got crabs
54 I didn't brush my teeth
55 You're old and fat
56 I'm pregnant
57 I forgot to take my birth control pill
58 You don't have a condom
59 I had sex with my boyfriend this morning
60 You're an asshole
61 I can't. I had my period two weeks ago
62 I masturbated today
63 You smell weird
64 I don't want you to catch gonorrhea
65 I just fake tanned
66 It's raining
67 Not here in the club
68 Not here in my house
69 Not in front of the dog
70 I haven't shaved down there
71 My horoscope says I should not make love today
72 I'm in a relationship
73 I have a yeast infection
74 You're a pervert
75 I have a backache
76 I don't know you well enough
77 You're a pig
78 I have a brown discharge
79 I would rather stick a dead rat up my pussy
80 You don't love me
81 You only want my body
82 You're ugly
83 I've had a hard day at work
84 I want to remain faithful to my boyfriend
85 I'm only thirteen
Comments
last comment86 I'm not a prostitute.
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After hearing #1 I'd want my money back. Bitch should not be working! Yes, again I am a rookie at this strip club thing.
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#16 is friggin' high-LAR-ee-OUS!!!!
I'll add a few:
87 I got a tampon stuck inside me last week and IT IS STILL THERE.
88 The mother ship is coming to pick me up later today and sex is contraindicated in the period 12 hours prior to entering warp speed.
89 bogh tlhInganpu', SuvwI'pu' moj, Hegh. (If she says this DON'T push your luck...especially if tou see a bat'leth in the room)
90 Your dik is just TOO big for me. It would hurt.
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I've only heard 53 of those excuses. #79 would sure take the romance out of a relationship.
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My former BJ lady once used #1 on me. I let it slide, but never quite understood that one.
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Lol
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I have said 55 to a stripper before
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I suppose that #1 would be better than being on her period not telling you and going ahead. While I have been to bed with women otr we always had a way to clean up, doing it in a lapdance room with no way to clean up afterward ... eww. I once went into a lap dance room and she was very good about clean up before we sat down to get started. She was wiping off the couch and picking up trash off the furniture when she picked up what she thought was a scrap of paper in the couch cushion edge and it actually was a string attached to a bloody tampon stuffed between the sofa cushions. We left the room and waited for another and the bouncer had to go clean up that room. He was PO'ed and knew who had done it and grumbled " she gonna owe me extra for this".
#58 only works if you do not carry a condom.
#85 happened in Cheaters in Providence!! (Although I think she was actually 14)
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79 is the kicker.
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RE: #79. Since the vast majority of posters here do not have a pussy, perhaps we should check with those that do. The rat thing might be enjoyable to them. Could be one of those women secrets they keep from men. ;)
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I like the one where she holds out for more money, lol!
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you should generalize this for all girls instead of just strippers.
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Ditto Estafador!
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I never heard #4
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I can’t – there are cameras
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I've herd them all & then some. My 2 faves 1. no condom no pussy. 2 I don't do that.
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Lol I'd like to hear one of 'em try #41 on me.
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White guys only.
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lopaw,
Would you care to expand on my post above about #79? :)
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Yeah Super I can never get over that one. I asked an escort once why she didn't want Black customers. She said "my dad could handle it if he found out I was hooking, but he'd never forgive me for fucking a Black guy".
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Clubber,
I can honestly say that I have never heard of or met any women that enjoyed inserting small mammals (dead or otherwise) into their vajayjays.
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@Lopaw-I forgot to trim up my manly bits the other day. When my FWB pulled my guy through my boxers with gusto, she said that it looked like a werewolf. Maybe some chicks dig lycanthropes down their throats.
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Slick,
I should have never brought this up. :)
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"Sorry baby, but you wouldn't even feel it."
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Only one of two words are needed as far as I am concerned: No or Sorry. No need to invent an elaborate excuse.
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