tuscl

How should I handle this dancer

There is this one dancer named Libby who works at one of my regular clubs. I have known her for about 3years or so but I don't really find her all that attractive. I have gotten a few dances in the past from her when she worked at another club due to the fact that there wasn't much to look at there, but haven't bothered to get one from her at this club since there is better looking girls. I introduced my cousin to her few months back because I knew he would like her(She is sort of stout with a big ass) but lately he has missed a few trips to the club with me but Libby still comes over to talk. I don't mind talking to her and I do tip her when she is onstage but I don't like the fact that she got over on me buy buying her a drink the other night. She asked me would I buy her some type of drink and I said okay. The bartender then tells me the drink is $6.50 for what looks like no more than a shot. To me that was kind of underhanded and goes to show you can't totally trust any dancer no matter how nice they seem to be or how long you have known them. My question to you is how do I avoid buying her a drink the next time I am there? Should I say something like "How much is this drink? because you got me on one the last time i was here? or should I ask her would she buy me a beer? A dancer that knew from the past told me that if you ever want to find out if one of the girls is really your friend ask her to buy you a drink. If she acts funny then you know that she is full of shit. Well so how would you approach this matter? I think the guys on this forum need to come up with a new version of "Rules of the Road" The one on this site is good but it only touches on the basics. I think the stripclub newbie needs to be instructed more in depth on stripper tatics such as the "drink hustle" which I am talking about now.

15 comments

  • Jpac73
    19 years ago
    JC I could give a dam'n less if a stripper respected me or not just don't try to play me for a fool.
  • baddy
    19 years ago
    Jpac, I agree you can get away with just saying no and they will get the hint the majority of the time. When I first started going to clubs I would always feel obligated when a pretty girl asked for a drink after 2 minutes of bullshit small talk, but after you say no a couple of times you start to realize they probably ask guys all day long and probably hear no 40 times a shift. They will not thing you are some huge asshole for standing your ground. If you really like the girl and plan on getting dances with them, I think you just should take the hit and buy the drink or else they will assume you are not interested and bail on you.

    Most of the clubs here have higher prices for a dancers drink then they do for the same drink when a customer buys it; when I buy a dancer / am with someone that buys a dancer a drink, it is usually ~$10 for a drink or they order a drink + shot which runs you ~$20. It's just one of the ways the club puts the screwing to you, all you can do is say no or deal with it unfortunately. If a lot of the girls at the club seem to bug you for drinks constantly, then you should consider going to another clubs. I have definitely done so in the past as some clubs are on 24/7 hustle and others are laid back about it.
  • JC2003
    19 years ago
    Just say no. Nobody will respect you if you won't stand up for yourself especially for trivial shit like this.
  • Jpac73
    19 years ago
    Causalguy: After you tell her "I would rather spend it on dances". I bet she will ask oh so you want to get a dance? Then I have tell her no I had someone else in mind. Then she will walk off pissed off.
  • gk
    19 years ago
    Have a budget to spend when you go in the club. Know how much you will spend on stage tips, private dances and the get acquainted drinks that sometimes set up the private dances.

    If this or any girls asks you for a drink, ask yourself if the girls fits into your plan for the night. If she doesn't, just say "no." You seem to be struggling with the "no" part because you are friends with her. But you can't think of it that way unless you can afford to spend drink money on "friendly drinks" that take away from your fun money. Remember, strip clubs are not normal bars and your dancer friends in them are not "normal" friends.
  • casualguy
    19 years ago
    I know I think more highly of a stripper/dancer if I ask her if she would like a drink when I'm going to the bar and she tells me a drink which turns out to be on the house (gingerale in this case). I liked that and the fact that the club didn't charge me for it.

    I will usually just say no to any dancer asking me to buy them a drink unless I'm in a real good mood when a dancer I don't know comes up out of the blue and asks for a drink after talking to me for just a minute or two. One nice thing about the stupid blue laws in south carolina is that no one asks me to buy them a drink after midnight on Saturday night. Liquor and bottled beer is cut off in some clubs at 20 minutes until midnight so they claim that waitresses have time to collect all the bottles by the stroke of midnight. I think it's a stupid law but at least I found one way it is useful.

    Something else you could say is that I'd rather spend the money on a dance.
  • chandler
    19 years ago
    If they were gonna scam you, they'd go for more than $6.50. If they were scamming you, you got off cheap.
  • AbbieNormal
    19 years ago
    As a general guideline I never invite a dancer to sit with me unless I am interested in a dance or at least willing to buy her a drink. I usually try to find out if they have "stripper drinks" first. If a dancer asks to join you, that is an odd middle ground since she asked for your permission, but I usually won't say yes unless I have some interest and am willing to consider a dance or drink. Opinions may vary. If she just sits down, no invitation or permission asked, you owe her nothing but I prefer to try to be courteous at first. If they've invited themselves and they are trying to use your good nature against you, and some would consider that a scam, then just a firm no is probably best. I'va noticed that depending on the girl they may move themselves into the regular catagory faster than you wish. One of the drawbacks of cultivating regulars.
  • davids
    19 years ago
    Jpac: Same thing happened to me once, I asked if her a "lady" would try to hustle guys for money.
  • AbbieNormal
    19 years ago
    The one time a dancer tried to invite herself to have a drink on me I said sure, as long as I'm not paying $20 for a cranberry juice and sprite. That seemed to offend her enough that she left, or she was about to order a $20 cranbery and sprite. I think Chitown is pretty close however. With lapdances and VIP rooms and covers neither the club nor the girl need the overpriced dancer drinks to make money, so they are slowly dying. Also I expect to pay at least $8 for a beer (with tip), so allowing for the fact that I live in a very expensive city you, as Chitown said, just got hit with the fashionable shot expense, and probably not an orchestrated scam.
  • Jpac73
    19 years ago
    Some of them will try to get smart with you. I told this one girl that I wasn't going to by her a drink and she proceded to tell me that basically I wasn't a gentleman and that she is use to being around gentleman.
  • JC2003
    19 years ago
    Just say no. Dancers get the hint when you refuse to buy them a drink. You don't have to explain yourself.
  • Jpac73
    19 years ago
    davids thanks for the sarcasm that was a pretty good one their man.
  • chitownlawyer
    19 years ago
    I really don't think it's hustle, in the sense of being a well-orchestrated scam by the dancer, the waitress and club management working in concert. I think it's just an example of how people drink when others are paying for it, as opposed to when they are paying for it. Dancers tend to be young girls, which means they are going to like heavily flavored, highly alcoholic beverages. A lot of them are still at the age when they are attracted to things on the basis of the sticker price/brand name of those things. Therefore, anytime I agree to buy a dancer a drink, I do so on the assumption that she is going to get a shot of Patron, Hennessey, Jagermeister, etc., as opposed to a draft of PBR.

    In some respects you got off easy at the price you paid..it could have been a $12 shot of Christian Brothers. When you get the "can I get a drink" pitch, just ask yourself if you are prepared to pay a fairly hefty price, certainly as much as $10, for a single drink (Obviously, if you start talking about bottles, the sky's the limit. That's where I start to get concerned). If not, say no. I guarantee the dancer will leave shortly thereafter.

    The more interesting situation occurs when you don't want to pay for the expensive drink, but you like the girl. At that point, you may have come to a fork in the road that you have no choice but to take (apologies to Yogi Berra).

    In any event, I think that the old scam of "a drink for the Lady" with some amount going to the house died away with the old clip joints that used to cater to young, horny servicemen.
  • davids
    19 years ago
    Dude, paragraphs are your friend.

    Even randomly placed ones are better than none at all.
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