What you say

I don't like to share personal information with strangers, especially stuff that can lead them back to you. Stalkers come in all shapes and sizes.

"Honesty breeds trust and trust opens doors and spreads legs."

Shadow, I've never heard it put that way. That is beautiful.

I used to get surprised when a dancer would tell me her real name and many details about her personal life upon first meeting her. I ran into one dancer recently who said she was new to the club (I definitely believed that) and then she said she had never been to a big city before and never seen any building taller than 2 stories. I was thinking, that's a big leap going from farm country to a stripper in a city. She told me she had 11 brothers and on and on about a few other things. I enjoyed listening to her and she seemed honest. I believe I had already told her I wasn't interested in a dance but she continued to sit and chat for a while. It's nice to run into dancers who speak honestly. She did have a very deep southern accent but it was nice. I got the impression though that she might be new to stripping as well but I didn't know for sure. I told her the truth when she asked where I work at and then she told me one of her brothers worked at a related company. (I'm not going to list the company names here.) I suppose if the dancer looks and seems ok, you don't mind giving out more personal information.

I will tell the truth in local clubs, especially if I plan to frequent the place somewhat often. I don't want to remember what lie I said where. I won't give a lot of information, though.

I am working on a fake background for out of town clubs. :)

My general rule of thumb is that I will tell a dancer anything, other than what might enable her to identify me and, were she so inclined, locate me outside the club. So, first name but no last name, line of work generally, but not the name of my firm, general metropolitan area in which I live, but not the specific town, and no handing out business cards.

My approach is pretty close to JC's. I lie if it helps to change the subject. I try to avoid talking about each other's background for as long as possible. The issue at hand is physical pleasure, so I try to steer the conversation, if any, to our bodies and desires. The more anonymous it is the bigger the thrill.

When there's no avoiding a straight answer, I usually tell the truth. But sometimes I get bored with doing that, and i make something up just for the hell of it. Why should only the stripper be allowed to lie? Everybody expects bullshit, so why disappoint them? Tall tales and cooking up stories are fun, and a club is a chance to do it with no consequences. It's not like she's somebody I'm going to have a real life relationship with, or even see again. If it comes to that, our initial lies could make for an colorful backstory.

I usually don't share too much. Oddly strippers love to talk about themselves. The one time I did start to lie was because I was getting a lot of questions from a dancer. I was traveling, and had mentioned that I was at a conference, so she was probably trying to decide if she could set up an OTC. It felt like she was trying to find out a little too much though, so I started lying.

I agree, what's the point? How much I tell a girl depends on how much I like her and how much she is willing to tell me. But whatever I say is usually fairly close to the truth.

Why? What's the point of lying?

I think good principles here are:

When first meeting, remember cat string theory: If you want to lead a cat you can't just tell it to "come here": You need to dangle a bit of string in front of it. Specifically

a) reveal information at your pace not hers. avoid her direct questions b) create mystery and ambiguity (e.g. is he a nice guy or a jerk?) c) provoke confrontations about why she wants to know d) drop hints that you know the score on strip clubs and are cycnical about strippers in general e) give out information indirectly (eg via stories)

Now it might be easy for you to come across as too much of jerk by employing the above. It's easy to blow low to moderate self-esteem strippers (of which there are a shokingly high number) right out of the water. Some might say that is ok you don't want them anyway, which is true in some cases: e.g. if you are only staying for a bit in town and/or just going for ONSs, but in other cases you might want them around to act as social proof. It's a judgement call.

The trick to not being too much of a jerk is to employ humor. It's ok to be a jerk at first but you must be a "funny jerk", a "smart jerk", a "flexible jerk" (can be won over) and if possible an "already popular jerk".

The dynamics change as the relationship develops. You can, obviously, become more open and honest, but that is the subject for another post and in any case, it seems the first 5-10 minutes are the most critical anyway.

If I like a girl well enough to sit and talk to her at length, I'm usually willing to tell her as much about myself as she's willing to tell me about herself. I find that getting to know someone on a more personal level enhances the LD experience. I like getting dances from a real person, not just a piece of meat.

My ATF worked in a club in her home town where a lot of the customers knew who she was, so she was pretty open about her personal life. I think that's pretty common unless you're in a club in a large city, especially when the dancer is young and relatively new to dancing. I look for girls like that.