What you say
...when dancers ask you about yourself?
My short answer: I lie.
My long answer: I mix fact and fiction. I don't lie about my name (only first name ever though), but if they get my name wrong, I don't correct them. I mix specific and vague details, true and false. Sometimes I tell the truth. Sometimes I make something up. Sometimes I make something unbelievable up. I contradict myself, intentionally or unintentionally, and don't care if they notice.
The way I see it, I doubt that they're listening or that they'll remember my name, let alone any details about our conversation unless it pertains to them. I always act surprised if they remember something about me.
My short answer: I lie.
My long answer: I mix fact and fiction. I don't lie about my name (only first name ever though), but if they get my name wrong, I don't correct them. I mix specific and vague details, true and false. Sometimes I tell the truth. Sometimes I make something up. Sometimes I make something unbelievable up. I contradict myself, intentionally or unintentionally, and don't care if they notice.
The way I see it, I doubt that they're listening or that they'll remember my name, let alone any details about our conversation unless it pertains to them. I always act surprised if they remember something about me.
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11 comments
Shadow, I've never heard it put that way. That is beautiful.
I am working on a fake background for out of town clubs. :)
When there's no avoiding a straight answer, I usually tell the truth. But sometimes I get bored with doing that, and i make something up just for the hell of it. Why should only the stripper be allowed to lie? Everybody expects bullshit, so why disappoint them? Tall tales and cooking up stories are fun, and a club is a chance to do it with no consequences. It's not like she's somebody I'm going to have a real life relationship with, or even see again. If it comes to that, our initial lies could make for an colorful backstory.
When first meeting, remember cat string theory: If you want to lead a cat you can't just tell it to "come here": You need to dangle a bit of string in front of it. Specifically
a) reveal information at your pace not hers. avoid her direct questions
b) create mystery and ambiguity (e.g. is he a nice guy or a jerk?)
c) provoke confrontations about why she wants to know
d) drop hints that you know the score on strip clubs and are cycnical about strippers in general
e) give out information indirectly (eg via stories)
Now it might be easy for you to come across as too much of jerk by employing the above. It's easy to blow low to moderate self-esteem strippers (of which there are a shokingly high number) right out of the water. Some might say that is ok you don't want them anyway, which is true in some cases: e.g. if you are only staying for a bit in town and/or just going for ONSs, but in other cases you might want them around to act as social proof. It's a judgement call.
The trick to not being too much of a jerk is to employ humor. It's ok to be a jerk at first but you must be a "funny jerk", a "smart jerk", a "flexible jerk" (can be won over) and if possible an "already popular jerk".
The dynamics change as the relationship develops. You can, obviously, become more open and honest, but that is the subject for another post and in any case, it seems the first 5-10 minutes are the most critical anyway.
My ATF worked in a club in her home town where a lot of the customers knew who she was, so she was pretty open about her personal life. I think that's pretty common unless you're in a club in a large city, especially when the dancer is young and relatively new to dancing. I look for girls like that.