Top stripclub gripes

1. Clipped songs (esp. songs I like)

2. Beautiful dancers who hang out with no intention of dancing.

Just a quick rant.... my top gripe has got to be NOSEY BOUNCERS. Damn it, I was at a club last night in the private dance area, things were just starting to get "more" than interesting, and the damn bouncer starts staring down the stripper. All of the sudden her hands move back to acceptable places and she moves my hands away from some tempting locations.

Sorry... just had to get that off my chest.

Chandler, CG, & SD's gripes pretty much mirror mine. As for Baltimore Block, OMG, are those places STILL around??!! Those are the places I call CLIP JOINTS. This fish fell for them hook, line, and sinker almost 25 yrs ago, but no more. All you've often bought is an expensive bottle, PERIOD. If things did start to get interesting, a waitress would come by asking if you wanted to buy another bottle, and so on... Or else you'd be upsold. One "Showgirls" mag editor(backed by mag$$) took 1 for the team in early 90's in Vegas, documenting upsell scam for $600 in a 1992 edition. A nude club setup of bottle club genre around San Antonio airport in same time frame didn't last a year. I thought that club genre went away with wider accepted couch/lap dance practice. I'm LMAO, and out.

Messaround: Many times, I've had my whole leg go to sleep so that, when I got up, I almost fell down. Not really a gripe for me, though. Even a petite stripper can numb you if she's there long enough, and there are benefits to her being there.

Just to finish the story about Block clubs and how they work, you're walking down the street and a barker grabs you and pulls you in the door (yes they still have those), you sit down at the bar and get a beer ($6 plus tip), a constant barrage will come by asking for tips and to see if you want company (another $20 or so - you can't tip the dancer on stage because the stage is inside the bar), you finally see a girl you like and buy her a drink and get another for yourself ($26 plus tip), she gets very friendly and talks you into going in back ($70 drink plus tip and yes it really does include a great big drink for her), you sit down in a dark booth and she informs you that it's customery to tip her in advance (another $50), after which you'll probably get a HJ and will be allowed to touch her everywhere. (If you bought the $120 drink you might even get more.) A half hour or so later and you're out the door, nearly $200 poorer. And all the other clubs in town think they can charge that much too, even without the high contact and HJ. Which is probably why the bodyrub and escort businesses are doing so well in the area and the clubs aren't.

But my biggest club gripe is that there aren't any good ones near where I live. In fact there aren't any in my county at all. We're too upscale for that sort of thing.

Yoda, you're probably right. There has been a tremendous amount of urban redevelopment in downtown Baltimore but it hasn't quite reached the Block yet. But it's getting close so their days are probably numbered. When something doesn't appear to make sense, economics is almost always the answer.

FONDL: I don't know the area that well but I'd bet The Block is still there because the economy isn't growing quickly enough to shut it down. The Combat Zone's demise was not do to public morality pressure, it was the real estate and development boom of the early eighties that started it. The property was worth so much on the open market that strip club owners(or their landlords) saw dollar signs and sold out.

The Baltimore Block-type places actually don't even have private dances, so the price of the drink is all you pay. And all you do is sit in a dark private spot and she unzips your fly and ... well we'll just leave it at that. I'm not a fan of such places, they're really seedy. And I agree, that's how clubs everywhere used to be 50 years ago. I wonder how the Block still survives? Puzzling.

I hate it when a fat stripper sits on my lap - do any of you guys ever get a numb ass from that ? - need to find a way to get rid of them faster!!

Those Baltimore Block places with the $75 thimble drinks sound like B-drinking clubs. They used to be all over the country, dating back to the 1920s. Most recently, they were reported to be in New Orleans, Newport, KY, South Bend and Oklahoma City. I've only tried to seek out the Newport ones, but they were all closed in the mid 90s.

"Most of my favorites do not drink while working but I have noticed an increase in mileage when they do take a drink."

That's why I go to SC's late in the afternoon. The afternoon shift ladies have had a chance to have a drink or two and there are generally less (if any) bouncers than at night. A less inhibited dancer without someone watching over her shoulder can be a very good thing indeed.

Shadowcat: That simply means your club has no drink Hustle. There aren't many drink Hustle clubs left around Boston (actually only one) though dancers are certainly encouraged to sit with customers and get them to buy drinks for them. In the days of the Combat Zone every one involved got a commission for the drink sale-the dancer, the bartender and the waitress.

The Baltimore Block clubs (and several others not downtown) often have dancer drinks at 3 different prices: the $20 drink gets you conversation and some touching at the bar; the $75 drink gets you a half hour sitting (and doing other things) in a dark private corner; and the $120 drink gets you either more time or more privacy, depending where you are. Unfortunately these prices keep prices at other clubs very high, so even in places where you don't get the extras they still charge higher than normal prices. There are some really nice clubs in the Baltimore area, but they are mostly overpriced.

Yoda, this was back about 10 years ago when I was first learning the club scene, but you are right. "The Block" in Baltimore still operates in much the same way with dancer drinks going for anywhere from $20 to $100, each representing a certain amount of uninterupted time and each implying (make sure you make it clear first) certain liberties and activities.

AN, I know a couple of clubs in PA that give away free beer, usually in a room next door, because they don't have a liquor license. It's not bad because then the girls don't have to wear pasties. There's such a place near State College - they have a self-service keg out back - but don't waste your time going, the laps are terrible, but they make up for it by being expensive.

I don't much care how much clubs charge for beer - I rarely have more than one anyway. I've even been known to take my empty bottle into the men's room and fill it with water - I'd often rather have water anyway and I'm sure as hell not going to pay a lot for it. But what does really bug me are the places that charge $10 or more (often a lot more) for a 1-oz. dancer drink.

I still remember the first time I inadvertently bought a dancer drink. Cute dancer, tipped her generously onstage, she comes by, I invite her to sit, waitress swoops in "Buy the lady a drink?", "Sure" I say. Waitress comes back. "$20". Me dumbstruck, disbelief, "What?" "$20" the waitress repeats. I hand it over, finally recognizing what I had just done. I turned to the dancer, "I just paid $20 for a cranbery juice and ginger-ale, didn't I?" "Well" she says, "you also get me to keep you company." "I thought that's what the tips were for." I say glumly. Lesson learned.

LOL, in the days of Boston's Combat Zone there where no private dances. You bought a dancer a drink (at $15 to $20 a pop) in order to get her to keep you company for a while. When the drinks stopped the company did too. In order for the dancer to remain sober the drinks where usually pretty much water of course. It's funny, the good conversationalists could bank without having to do anything but talk and maybe rub you leg once in a while. The less attractive, less intelligent dancers had to resort to fondling your middle leg and promising (bogus) OTC encounters to make any money. It's amazing how little things have changed in many regards.

I had the waitress problem a few years ago. I was sitting stageside with my beer almost empty. For close to 15 minutes I tried to get the waitresses attention every time she passed or looked my way. I was nursing those last few precious ounces praying she would finally see me when she at last swoops by and grabs my beer giving no indication she even sees me. I grab the beer and say "hey!". She wheels on me and starts in about how I can's sit there with one drink all night (I had had this beer for maybe 25 minutes tops, 15 of them were spent trying to get her attention to bring me another). Dumfounded I asked if she was going to bring me another. She asked me if I was going to take an hour to drink it too. I'd had enough. I looked her in the eye, told her I'd been trying to get her attention for 20 minutes (so I exaggerated a bit) to get another beer and if that was what I could expect I was perfectly happy to leave. On the way out I stopped to talk to the manager. He knew me to see me since I was a semi-regular. I told him I was going to the club across the street (his competitor) and why. I never saw that waitress again.

Casualguy: I feel your pain but all clubs (not just strip clubs) make money on selling drinks. Free water is something you get in restaraunts because you are paying for the meal. I did have a barmaid give me a free glass of water once when I needed to take a tylenol because the music in the club was so loud.

One of the posters mentioned a bouncer threatening him in a club. The bouncers in many of the clubs are ex-cons and are sometimes high when they are working. Some are cool, but others are purely nasty, not well educated and are one strike away from being locked up for their third strike.

Casualguy, you never want to come to DC. $5/beer with tip is a normal resturant price. In stripclubs it's $8 plus tip.

I've seen clubs that advertise free beer. I assume it's cheap draft and they charge a massive cover. Anybody have any experience?

To add to the management question I do dislike the clubs that take a per dance cut and count dances since that usually means the dancers are not going to be generous or willing to bargain. It also means they watch the dancers too close.

some other gripes I have are high prices for beer and water. Water from the tap should be available and on the house if I get thirsty. Most people in my area would never pay 4 or 5 dollars for a tiny little bottle of water unless they were dying of thirst with no alternative. I remember going to one strip club that had $1 beer and that was bottled beer. I don't really like paying $4 or $5 with a tip to get a single bottle of beer.

My last big gripe even though it only happened once. A bouncer who wants to threaten and warn you when you are sitting alone in the back of the club for the last 15 to 20 minutes because he says I may have leaned in my chair when I was reaching up to tip a dancer. I suppose he would prefer to kick people out or have them strapped in with seat belts.

In response to davids question about what strippers think about management. In one club the managers are good, they do their job, everyone makes money and it's usually fun. At another club, there's a person who supposedly counts your dances and everyone elses as well. We end up tipping out on 35 to 40% of what we make. This is bearable if we're doing well, but even if we don't make money we have to beg, borrow or steal (from our own wallets) $25 to escape. I've only had to do this once. There was another time when the counter miscounted and wanted to extract more money from me - I refused. I like it when the club leaves us alone as much as possible.

FONDL: I sit at the bar in many of the clubs I go to, in fact it's my preference. Some clubs only have service bars so you have no choice. If I am with a fav or coming out of VIP wit a girl I will sit at a table but I never sit at one alone if I have a choice. It leaves you as pretty much a sitting duck!

-pushy waitresses
-pushy dancers
-air dances
-overzealous bouncers
-dj's

Agreed, but since the club is never going to change, at least not for the better, we have to learn to deal with this stuff. Or find a better club.

Agreed. My way of dealing with it is to gripe.

FONDL, you could suggest an obvious workaround for any of our gripes, but that doesn't remove the gripe or the need for the club to fix it.

Chitoryu, the answer to your problem is simple: don't go to clubs where somebody tells you where to sit. I avoid places like that. Secondly, sit at the bar, then you don't have to deal with waitresses. Yoda, this second tip applies to you as well. I've found that sitting at the bar avoids all kinds of problems. I always do that first. Then later if I want to spend time talking to a girl we'll move to a table with our drinks and she'll track down a waitress when we need one. That seems to work pretty well.

FONDL: In this particular club the dancers don't have to sell drinks. In fact, a I go in their to see a fav of mine who nurses a cranberry juice all afternoon when I visit. The waitress was just going after what she percieved to be the bigger tips. Your right about why I was there, it wasn't to drink-I only drink water or soda in clubs anyway. My aggravation stemmed from the fact that she didn't show up until the dancer came over.

Living in Toronto, there are a plethora of clubs to choose from. I would think that the floor staff ( Servers, Bouncers) would understand that the next club is only a few minutes away and any form of alienation will have the customer leave to find greener pastures... On the top of my list is being in a so called Gentlemens club and being asked to move from your table to another to accomadate other patrons.. If the doormen were doing their job when you first arrived they would seat you at a table that would preclude you from being moved later on... Next are the waitresses that expect a tip regardless of the service they provide... Asking " What can I get you?" is plain rude... The server should always start with a salutation, " Hello, how are you", or at the very least, " Hi I am ( fill in name ), I will be your server".... I have had waitresses start to walk away from the table when given a $20 for a round that comes to $17, without offering change... And lastly, doormen who call you, "Guy" or "Buddy"... At 46 years of age, I am neither of these and should be called "Sir" ... Showing even a hint of repsect to the patron should be first and foremost.

I actually don't mind being ignored by a SC waitress, it keeps the tab down. I'm not there to drink anyway. If I were I would have left long before 25 minutes went by. Obviously that particular waitress was trying to be friends with the dancers and help them meet their minimum. She was probably told to hustle drinks for the girls' customers. That's the part I'd find annoying.

Picking up on David's point. I was in a club few weeks ago and was being completely ignored by the waitress as she flirted with guys at one table, brought 2 or 3 rounds to tables with dancers sitting at them. Normaly I would just move to the bar and stay there. In this case I decided to wait and see how long it would take to get a drink. 25 minutes went buy and I was still waiting for a drink. Finally a dancer came over and sat with me and with about 30 seconds a waitress came over to take "our" drink order. I asked the waitress if she'd seen me sitting for the last 25 minutes and she mumbled something about being slammed all night. I told her we where all set and she had the balls to tell me there was a one drink minimum. I asked her to get a floor manager so I could complain about her service and why I wasn't going to be drinking the minimum that night. Turns out the floor manager had seen me sitting being ignored and gave me a free drink. I declined to buy one for the dancer.

No clocks. I shouldn't have to wear a watch that can scratch my stripper when I grope her.

Too much interference from management, staff, silly rules and practices. The object should be to allow customers to interact with the strippers with no more distraction than necessary. All the flunkies should perform their duties (if any) discreetly and inconspicuously. Too many clubs do the opposite.

Too many places are nothing but clip joints. What amazes me is that almost every industry you can think of has gone through a revolution where the customer is king, the whole focus is on pleasing the customer. Except strip clubs. I wonder why that is? Haven't they noticed that their business is declining? Can you think of any other business that raises prices when business declines?

Management seems to hold customers in at least as great contempt as strippers do. And they hold the strippers in contempt to. I wonder what strippers think of management? Anyone ever asked about that?

Bouncers with peering eyes in the VIP / CR rooms.
VIP rooms that are too dark... I like to be able to touch AND see.

Waitresses asking if you want to "buy the lady a drink". I am currently experimenting with just ignoring them altogether and seeing how long it takes them to go away. Of course the same waitresses are often nowhere to be found when you first arrival and want a drink or your current one has run out.

As Shadowcat said, too many ugly/fat/obnoxious women who shouldn't be dancing in a strip club. In many cases, club management has stopped thinking how to attract customers and keep them entertained. The primary goal nowadays seems to be filling the roster with as many women as possible simply to collect their house fees and maintain a high body count of dancers. Many of the women hired nowadays are ill equiped to be dancers.

Sorry Shadow. Your crusade for low discount prices is admirable, but well known. Also for those of us who travel to clubs it isn't always possible to bargain in a new place where you aren't known. Also I know of a few places where you pay the management, so haggling is impossible.

Just for fairness sake I'll also ban RL from claiming $5 is too much and davids from saying you should never spend any money on a stripper, we've heard these ad nauseum.