I'm Done With This Stripper & Hooker Shit!

avatar for Doc_Holliday
Doc_Holliday
Ok, so you saw my last rant, right?

I see this provider that works with the girl I got infatuated with, the ex-stripper turned hooker. I did it to make myself feel better about the profession she now chose. This provider was my type, attractive, seemed like a good idea.

Well, it takes like two tries. The first time, the doorman runs me off. I go home, say, fuck it.

Two weeks later,tonight, we plan on meeting up at 8. I get there, no reply. I sit around getting drunk at various places, then at 9:15 she calls. She overslept.

I get there, I ask for cups to mix some drinks, she gets it. Her girlfriend is in the bathroom shooting up or taking a shit, I don't know which. All In The Family is on the TV.

She's a stoner, so OF COURSE, I smoke with her. *puff* *puff* *puff*


Her GF comes in talks a bit, and goes. She looks at her phone, then goes on to tell me this story about her crazy stalker and she has me read his texts. Death threats, the-whole-nine. Pretty violent stuff and name calling. So, I tell her about the stalker I got over the internet and the calls and msgs I got from him, threatening my life.

But mind you.... I am high as a fucking kite, right now.

So, now's the time she chooses to start making out. Clothes come off ...she really does look better than the pictures (I know ya'll fuckers say that, but it was true)... I'm thinking, "God, I don't want a stalker after me again. But, that body of hers now all undressed...

...I HAVE GOT TO HIT THIS!

*bang* *bang* *bang* ...water break... *bang* *bang*

As soon as I tap out, spent, done, hit the mattress and the lamp light shimmers off the sweat of her flawless apple bottom ass... my phone rings from an unknown number.


F.U.C.K.

It rings again and again. I get dressed and take off. She stops, wanted a kiss goodbye!

Longest.
kiss.
ever. Phone ringing... I watched down the hall waiting for some fucker to pop around the corner.

I leave, get to the elevator. No one's there. I hit the button, send it to the lobby, run around and take the stairs like I'm fucking Jason Borne! Get to the first floor, no one there. Walk stoically out the building -- out through the parking lot -- to my car. Keys in the ignition, hit the gas, and fucking GO!! 80 miles an hour, down the freeway, freshly fucked, scared shitless, and high as a mother fucking kite!

That call I got? That unknown number I thought was the poor girl's stalker, coming to shoot my ass? It was my mother's shitty boyfriend calling and crying cause she left him.

I am Doc Holliday. Thrill seeker.


P.S. The sex was FUCKING AMAZING!

8 comments

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avatar for Alucard
Alucard
11 years ago
You could have killed yourself or someone else while driving High. While quitting the Stripper & Hooker Shit, why not stop getting drunk & using drugs. You'll be be rid of the triple whammy.
avatar for Estafador
Estafador
11 years ago
Lol that was fucking hilarious. New name: Borne Jr.
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
11 years ago
That weed can make you paranoid.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
11 years ago
Troop would be proud. :)
avatar for MojoDojo
MojoDojo
11 years ago
Good story. I heard a Bond-esk sound track playing in my head the whole time.
avatar for JackFrost9
JackFrost9
11 years ago
That shit wad of the hook ! Juice wishes that his shitty life was cool like that !
avatar for ilbbaicnl
ilbbaicnl
11 years ago
Sounds worth it to me.
avatar for Experimental
Experimental
11 years ago
Maybe her weed was laced? Other than that I don't see how you could walk away from that.
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