Turning Down Dances?

I mostly say "No thanks". If the girl has potential, then I will do the "Maybe later" routine if I'm not ready yet. If she doesn't come back, then it's too bad for her. I rarely chase after a dancer at a club unless she is a must have and there are very, very rare.

I used to say "maybe later." But too many kept coming back and saying "you said later." So now, it's just "no thanks". "I just got here..." or "I'm waiting for..."

Enquiz, maybe what you should wish for is a way to go back and edit what you say to the girls.

I wish there was a way I could go back and edit some of what I wrote. I had to re-read my last post three or four times to understand what the hell I was writing! I hope you guys figured it out.

I wish there was a simple system to deal with the girls, but I guess the biggest problem is the girls get so much BS they don't know what to believe. Then again, we get a fair share of BS too. I guess too, if I really want to get a dance with a girl after I've been there a while, I can always get up off my fat ass and ask. Have you noticed some postings where the guys seem to have problems doing this? Oh wait - that's for another discussion.

a couple of things:

"I just got here and would like to get settled before I decide on dances"

"Not right now thank you"

"I am waiting for a friend"

I've politely told several women that I may buy a dance later but right now I don't really wan any company. Again, what happens next depends on the intelligence of the dancer. I've had ladies give me a kiss on the cheek, remind me of their names and leave gracefully and I've had some who got huffy and left without saying a word. The extreme reaction was the dancer who called me an asshole a few years ago when I sent her away and wouldn't give her a mercy tip(she was an ugly cow).

And there is always the dancer who will take advantage of a customer's good manners and not take the hint to move on. She will sit and talk, hoping to wear down your resistance while blocking other dancers from coming over. Now the issue is broader than just turning down a dance. How do you politely tell her to go away?

I'm probably pretty good at turning down dances since I have done this anywhere from 18 to 80 times I estimate on most nights that I've gone out to strip clubs.

If I'm absolutely sure I don't want a dance I'll say firmly No thanks. If I'm not sure or if the dancer is extremely persistent in asking I'll say maybe later knowing that I might see her again.

If I'm not sure but am considering the dancer, I may say, I just got here and wanted to drink a beer or two first but you can come back and ask again later. Just to let her know I may be interested but not right now since that line is so common. It doesn't matter if you've been there for a while since the dancer doesn't know at that point.

As far as hurting feelings I wouldn't worry. You can always offer to let a dancer sit with you and see if she does when she knows you aren't going to buy dances.

Apparently some guys are on the other extreme about not worrying about dancer's feelings. example
dancer: "do you mind if I sit at your table?"
guy: "hell yes, now get lost!"

I had an upset dancer tell me this story which actually seems amusing in hindsite. She was going off talking about there must be something in the water which I thought was funny. I've had quite a few dancers sit at my table even after I said I wasn't interested in any dances. I never did tell that dancer she was approaching the same tables that one bitch of a dancer was annoying everyone with her obnoxious attitude. Oh well.

Lol, just remember, free advice is worth exactly what you pay for it.

For me - the answer I give these girls "Maybe later" is because I don't want to hurt their feelings. They may be pros, but I think any gal in this business suffers from some sense of insecurity. I'm going to tell next time not right, I'm still checking things out and see the result. If I get slapped down you guys will hear about it!!!!!!!

Unfortunately some dancers are just plain dumb, lazy or both. If a cute lady with potential comes up to me I will tell her I'm just checking things out right now and I may be doing dances later on. A smart dancer will take this sort of rejection with a smile on her face and stop by a bit later on. If I'm still undecided I will tell her nicely that I wiull find her if I am interested. Unless I've hit the motherload since her first visit I will most likely do at least a dance or two with her before I leave.

Okay, I see where you're coming from better now, Yoda. Unfortunately, I'm not always as successful as I'd like to be at attracting the dancers I want, so I make an extra effort to tell them in unambiguous terms.

Yoda, that's great for you, but Enquiz and others with similar questions evidently aren't so satisfied or they wouldn't be asking.

Chandler: I understand your point but if everyone was honest about it to begin with then "maybe later" would mean "maybe later" and "no" would mean "no" - thus eliminating all confusion. I understand why guys come here and ask this question so frequently. They are either afraid of hurting a girl’s feelings or just plain afraid of the girl. These ladies are professionals and are used to hearing no for an answer. My opinion on the topic is that honesty is the best approach. Maybe I'm just an old-fashioned guy but, when I started going to clubs a straight answer was what most dancers preferred. I don't have any trouble attracting attention in a club when I want to spend money so I must be doing something right. Maybe it's because the South Americans take everything literally....

Chandler, I understand what you are saying but frankly it's way too complicated for me. Whatever answer I give them is the truth. If I tell a girl "maybe later" and she doesn't come back it's her loss.

If I'm waiting for someone I'll say so. But if I'm not and just checking out the talent, I'll usually say "maybe later" because that's what I mean. I once became a regular of a girl I turned down when she first asked to join me. Unless I came to see a specific girl, I don't want a girl to join me until I've had a chance to check out the place for awhile.

So many guys say "maybe later" in an effort not to offend when they mean "no chance" that dancers usually take it to mean no. The small few who don't are usually the last ones you want coming back and asking again. (There's an axiom in there somewhere.)

Then there are customers who complain that when they say "maybe later" they really mean it, but girls take it as a no and never come back. Those guys need to realize what "maybe later" means in a strip club and say something else more positive and specific. She's probably just had 10 other guys say "maybe later" meaning no, so you can't count on her to file away yours differently.

I say no thanks when there is no chance. I say maybe later if they are cute and have a Brazilian accent. Being polite has nothing to do with it.

I agree with tipping if you are sitting at the stage. At this particular club, the bar surrounds the stage, and the girls don't take tips while dancing. The tipping is done as the girls circulate around the bar. That's when it gets a little annoying, because you are no longer watching the show and it begins to feel more like an obligation than a show. A little sad to say that, it does get annoying.

I tell them the truth. If I'm waiting for someone I tell them that. If I'm checking out the talent trying todecide I tell them I'm all set for now. As far as the tipping thing goes, that depends. If you are sitting at the stage you should be tipping. If you are at a table and girls keep doing the tip walk after their sets I would still tip them if I am watching the stage show. It's a personal decison but if you are watching the show the dancer should get tipped for it. When in doubt go sit at the bar....

I know you're trying to be polite, but I avoid saying anything like "not now" or "maybe later" that could be taken to mean they should come back and ask again. I think the more polite answer is a courteous but firm no thanks.