More Frequently Asked Questions
jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
1 Q What 3 words best describe strippers?
A Lying, thieving whores
2 Q Do strippers think all customers are pathetic losers?
A No. Some customers are rap stars and drug dealers.
3 Q What should I wear in a strip club?
A A condom.
4 Q If I go to a strip club, will I be shot?
A Not if you leave before 2AM.
5 Q What's the best thing to do with my money to keep it safe in the strip club?
A Roll it into a tight cylinder and stick it up your ass.
6 Q If my wife or girlfriend finds out I'm going to strip clubs, will she leave me?
A Yes. This is the best reason for going to strip clubs.
7 Q How do I get better mileage?
A Buy a Chevy Volt.
8 Q What should I do if I run into someone I know in a strip club?
A Tip her a dollar.
9 Q When's the best time to go to the strip club?
A When it's open.
10 Q Should I go to strip clubs or save the money for my kids' college education.
A Go to the clubs. Johnny is too dumb to get into college and little Emily can always become a stripper.
11 Q I am a young, good-looking guy. Can I date a stripper?
A Yes. But you must also be (1) unemployed or (2) a drug addict or (3) a musician.
Best stripper boyfriend material: an unemployed drug-addicted musician.
12 Q I am over 40 and out of shape. Can I date a stripper?
A Yes. But you also must (1) have a good-paying job and (2) be pathetic and (3) have shit for brains.
13 Q Is is okay to eat in a strip club?
A Only the bearded clams.
14 Q Why do strippers have so many tattoos?
A They don't like to feel naked.
15 Q Should I loan money to a stripper?
A No. Save time by flushing your money directly down the toilet.
16 Q Why did the stripper cross the road?
A She couldn't find a worse decision to make
17 Q How do I get a stripper to have sex with me ITC?
A Give her money.
18 Q How do I get a stripper to have sex with me OTC?
A Give her money.
19 Q Do you have a secret technique that will make strippers give you sex for free?
A Yes. But I'm not telling you.
20 Q How much is HJ/BJ/FS?
A Ham Jerky is $3.95, Beef Jerky is $4.95, and a Fish Sandwich is $5.95.
21 Q Why do you guys on TUSCL use so many acronyms?
A IDK
22 Q What is the best stripper name?
A Tiffany.
23 Q What is the best strip club song?
A The She's Too Fat For Me Polka
24 Q How many strippers does it take to change a light bulb?
A None. Strippers won't change.
25 Q I met a stripper who's really cute. We talked and had a lot of
common interests and really connected. Do you think she likes me?
A Does a shark like chum?
26 Q im 18 n i wanna no if i can b a strpper?
A Do you know how to take your clothes off?
27 Q What the best thing about about a three way?
A The fantasy beforehand.
28 Q What is the worst thing about a three way?
A You spend your money twice as fast.
29 Q Will my friends and family be disgusted if they find I have a strip club addiction?
A Yes. But you will forget all about your friends and family as soon as you go back to the strip club.
30 Q How can I tell if a stripper is lying to me?
A Her lips move.
31 Q This blonde dancer told me she's stripping to pay her way thru school. Should I believe her?
A Yes. This is the way most blondes pay their way thru elementary school.
32 Q Do strippers ever graduate from college?
A Yes. They graduate magna CUM laude.
33 Q My fav dancer says I'm the only customer she blows or has sex with. Should I believe her?
A It depends. Do you believe in Santa Claus?
34 Q Should I be proud to be a strip club customer?
A Yes. You are helping single mothers make a decent living.
35 Q All I can think about is naked strippers writhing lasciviously in front of me. Am I going straight to hell?
A Yes.
36 Q Can I catch a disease in a strip club?
A No. Strip clubs are sterile environments.
37 Q I really had great rapport with Fantasia, who used to dance at the Booby Lounge. Does anybody know where she is now?
A Yes. She's on her knees under my desk.
38 Q How can I tell if a stripper's tits are real?
A If you can feel them, they're real.
39 Q What is the proper strip club etiquette?
A Be sure to ask permission before you cum in her mouth.
40 Q Where can I find the cheapest strippers?
A In the paint department of Walmart
41 Q Where can I find a stripper with a heart of gold?
A In the movies.
42 Q What's the difference between white strippers and black strippers?
A Whore vs. ho.
43 Q I want to own a strip club so I can spend all my time with hot babes. What do I have to do?
A Have the heart of a pimp.
44 Q I'm in love with a stripper. Should I marry her?
A Just shoot yourself.
45 Q What's the best thing to get for lunch at a strip club?
A BBBJBLT
46 Q How can I know if a stripper is playing me?
A Does she refer to you as a violin or a cello?
47 Q Would a stripper's husband be mad if he caught her having sex with me in their house?
A Yes. He doesn't want her to bring her work home with her.
48 Q What can I give a stripper that she never got from her husband?
A Child support.
49 Q How do you make it rain?
A Seed the clouds.
50 Q Why do women hate it when their husbands go to strip clubs?
A They don't like to know that men are having fun.
51 Q I've been texting this stripper 25 times a day to tell her I love her, but she never replies. What can I do to convince her that we're meant to be together?
A Text her more often.
52 Q What did the stripper say after she lost her virginity?
A Get off me, Dad.
53 Q When is a stripper too drunk?
A When she can't spread her legs.
54 Q What's the best wine to buy for a stripper?
A A whitetrash zinfandel.
55 Q Why is it better to have sex with a Jewish stripper?
A Because you can catch an STD from gentile to gentile contact.
56 Q I'm going out on a date with a stripper. How can I tell when the date is over?
A She'll put her panties back on.
57 Q I met this sexy stripper. Do you think she's out of my league?
A What night do you bowl on?
58 Q Where do strippers lose their virginity?
A On a pool table.
59 Q What name should I use when I go to a strip club?
A Benjamin Franklin.
60 Q How can I impress a stripper when I take her out to dinner?
A Go to Burger King but don't use the drive-up window.
61 Q What did the stripper's kid bring to school for show and tell?
A Head lice.
62 Q How does a stripper's boyfriend remember her bra size?
A It's the same as his IQ.
63 Q Why didn't the stripper go to her high school prom?
A She couldn't find a baby sitter.
64 Q What person is most admired by strippers?
A Jack Daniels.
65 Q What do you call a stripper's birth control pills?
A Crime stoppers.
66 Q Why don't strippers marry their high school sweetheart?
A It's against the law to marry your brother.
67 Q What's the best gift to give a stripper for Christmas?
A A gift card to the House of Tattoos.
68 Q What does a stripper think "genitalia" is?
A An Italian airline.
69 Q How does a stripper's boyfriend help with domestic chores?
A He deposits a load in his dishwasher.
70 Q Why did the stripper have two black eyes?
A Her boyfriend had to ask for his beer twice.
71 Q There's a hot stripper at the club. How do I get into her panties?
A Pick them up off the floor.
72 Q Why do strippers shave their pussies?
A Their mothers told them never to let men see their pubic hair.
72 Q I keep offering this stirpper money but she won't put my wiener in her mouth. Why not?
A She's a vegetarian.
75 Q How can I write off my strip club expenses on my taxes?
A Tell the IRS you gave the money to Charity.
76 Q I don't get you guys who are enfatuated with strippers. Why give money to a woman who will never have sex with you?
A Because it reminds us of what it was like when we were married.
77 Q What's the best way to pick up a stripper?
A Lift with your legs, not your back.
78 Q What's the worst thing about having sex with a stripper?
A The guys waiting impatiently in line behind you.
79 Q What's the difference between a stripper and a bowling ball?
A You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
80 Q Why don't strippers have hair on their pussies?
A Does grass grow on a busy highway?
81 Q What advice do you have about eating a stripper's pussy?
A Once you get past the smell you've got it licked.
82 Q What do you call a stripper with political opinions?
A Wrong.
83 Q Can anything beat a stripper giving you a blow job?
A Yes. Her boyfriend.
84 Q Why do strippers dance to Rihanna?
A They can relate to her greatest hits.
85 Q Why did the stripper's boyfriend break up with her?
A He wanted to be free to hit other women.
86 Q What does a stripper's boyfriend do when his dishwasher stops working?
A He hits her.
87 Q Why are strippers like carnival rides?
A Everyone gets a turn, and when you get off you want to puke.
88 Q How can you tell that a stripper isn't really that into you?
A She spits.
89 Q This stripper says she likes me. How can I tell if she's a gold digger?
A Check for a pick and shovel in the back of her pickup truck.
90 Q Who makes more money: a drug dealer or a stripper?
A A stripper because she sells the same crack over and over.
91 Q How many cops does it take to push a stripper down the stairs?
A None. "She fell."
92 Q What do you tell a stripper with two black eyes?
A Nothing. You already told her twice.
93 Q What's the difference between Jello and a dead stripper?
A Jello wiggles when you eat it.
94 Q What should I do if a stripper is screaming and bleeding in my hotel room?
A Shoot her again.
95 Q Why don't I ever see politicians in strip clubs?
A Strippers don't want to get a bad reputation.
96 Q How can I get a stripper's attention?
A Yell "whore!"
97 Q What's the difference between an onion and a stripper?
A People cry when they chop up an onion.
98 Q What do I need to give a stripper so she'll have sex with me?
A A black eye.
99 Q What will happen if I tell an attractive young woman that I like pussy more than legs or breasts?
A You'll get kicked out of KFC.
100 Q What's your secret for getting stripers to have sex with you?
A Roofies.
101 Q What's the best hotel to take a stripper to?
A HoJos.
102 Q Why are strippers like paleontologists?
A They both study homo erectus.
103 Q Im a stripper and I wanna know if I could stop dancing and join the military?
A You could be an army sniper since you know how to take shots.
104 Q Why do you feel compelled to drink in strip clubs? Nothing good ever came from drinking.
A Drinking lets me ignore irritating, twits.
105 Q During OTC, how do I keep a stripper from leaving the motel before the hour is up?
A Handcuffs.
106 Q What's the best time to ask a stripper for OTC?
A One day before her rent is due.
107 Q Should I buy shots from the shot girl to make the strippers loose?
A Yes. Colored water is sure to make strippers drunk.
108 Q Why was the stripper still on good terms with her ex-husband?
A After they got divorced, they were still cousins.
109 Q What should I look for to tell if a stripper is married?
A A black eye.
110 Q Should I wear my wedding ring in the strip club?
A No. Strippers respect marriage too much to dance for a married man.
111 Q Why would a stripper still be dancing when she's pregnant?
A She hasn't had her abortion yet.
112 Q I would like to find out what goes on in the dancers' dressing room. What would I see if I could get a glimpse?
A Do you like to hear women bitching and moaning.?
113 Q Should I tip a stripper when she has an orgasm during a lap dance?
A Yes. Always reward good acting.
114 Q What is the thing you're least likely to hear a stripper say?
A I'll take English literature for $1000, Alex.
115 Q How can I make a stripper shut up?
A Duct tape.
116 Q Why don't strippers use diaphragms?
A They didn't take geometry in high school.
117 Q A stripper told me she had only had sex with three guys besides me. Should I believe her?
A Yes. It was a slow night.
118 Q What's a stripper's favorite bird?
A The spread eagle.
119 Q Have you ever gone to bed with an ugly stripper?
A No. But I've woke up with a few.
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Good job Jack. Funny stuff
120. Q. How do you know when a stripper is in love with you?
A. She says "I Love You" after you pay her for sex.
Meanwhile, I'll join shadowcat in urging you to post this on pink site. I'll be sure to bring plenty of popcorn.
Because he would have to EXPLAIN them to every bimbo on there :-p
This is the first classic thread of the day, a classic Jackslash thread.