What is your best response you have said to a rude dancer?

"I'm waiting for someone".

A couple of years ago, a large black dancer plopped herself down on my lap, stuck her tongue in my ear, started purring, and told me she was the best ever in VIP. After the surprise wore off, I said "no thanks" and urged her off my lap. When she didn't move, I stood up, with predictable results. Her response? "You don't like black girls, huh?" With a sneer on her face.

"Really? You have udders a cow would be jealous of, you make *me* look skinny, and you slam down on my legs so hard they *still* feel like they're broken, and your explanation for my dislike is that I don't like black girls? Whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetheart."

Not me, but I overheard another patron, who had apparently been rejected by a dancer, respond "That's OK, I was just on my way to take a s***. The patron walked toward the bathroom,The other patrons that over heard laughed until we hurt and the dancer disappeared. I did not see her again.

Drop dead, and I walked away to talk to an ATF

A few years ago a friend and I went to Night Trips in Tulsa. We weren't there long before we were approached by a cute, slender blonde in a schoolgirl outfit who asked if we both wanted a dance. I usually look around a while before I get a dance, but I said OK. Big mistake. She took me to the lapdance area, a couch behind a kind of coffee table. She spent almost all of the dance four feet away from me on the table. She finally got on top of me on the couch. Now I'm not the grabby type, but I will "test the waters", usually by just putting my hand on the girl's ankle. If she seems OK with that then I might let my hands roam a little more. This dancer reaches around, picks up my hand by the wrist with two fingers like she's picking up a piece of dogshit, and places it firmly on the couch. And after the "dance" she says to me "Thank you for being a gentleman.". I restrained myself from saying "Thank you for freezing my balls off, you frigid cunt.". As if my experience wasn't bad enough, my buddy was right there waiting there for his dance, too. As he approached I tried to shake my head and mouth "NOOOOOO!", but it was too late. BTW, did I mention that I was buying that night? That's right, I got to pay for not only one shitty dance, but two!
After we went back to our table this same girl approached us just a few minutes later and asked "Ready for another dance?". "Um, not right now", I said. And a few minutes after that she came up to us again and said in exactly the same way "Ready for another dance?" "Uh, we're good right now, thanks.", I said. And I'll be damned if she didn't come up to us a third time. But just as she started to open her mouth I said, in the same exact way she had said it, "Ready for another dance?". My buddy literally fell out of his seat laughing. And I'm just lucky that she didn't have heat vision or I would have been burnt to a crisp. She sure as hell tried. But she did leave us alone for the rest of the night.

Funny thing about air dances is I witness guys in air dance clubs that seem to be enjoying them. Either they don't know what they could get elsewhere, or they're just downright stupid.

I swear, if customers were smarter, there'd be way less of these scams going on and so much more legit contact/grinding going on with dances. Air dances really shouldn't be allowed. How is it a lap dance when they're four feet away from your lap? I can go to a regular night club and STAND behind a hot girl for free and get the same shit.

Best response as in fastest to get rid of a rude dancer or best response as in best response to piss her off or best response as in to still get rid of her without getting upset yourself?

I remember what some guys said, they said "we don't want any fucking dances so get lost bitch", however she said she merely asked to sit at their table.

A funny response, two dancers double teamed me. I said no thanks to their dance requests and then they wanted money for taking the time to talk to me. Of all the nerve I thought. Anyway just to get rid of them, I offered each a dollar.

One girl took it, the other said she didn't need a single dollar and acted insulted at the tip being low. She gave it back saying I needed it more then she told the other dancer to give back the dollar I gave to her. Bitch I thought. Really stupid too because I moved to a different spot in the club and they asked for dances from me all over again. Kinda of funny the second time they asked. They weren't getting any money from anyone.

Fuck you bitch

Please leave, now, right now!

I was in Harem House in Indy and a skinny black dancer who I knew would promise you the world and deliver an air dancers then lie about the number would not leave my table even when I ignored her and told her I was not interested in an dance, table or otherwise. When the there was a break in the music I turned to her and said loudly " I will give you 5 bucks to leave me the fuck along so any other girls can sit here" She really got pissed and left with out the money. Since she had been sitting at my table for a 1/2 hour and giving all the other girls the evil eye to stay away (even when I went up to the stage to tip). Other girls then came by telling me she picked out someone every night and did the same thing and would sit with the guy until she got her dances or he left. I was the first one to piss her off enough she left me alone.

There isn't much that gets me worked up enough to say or do anything harsh to a dancer. What's the point? There is nothing fun or satisfying about dumping on a girl who is already getting a ton of shit as part of her job. Doing that to a dancer is like hitting an already wounded animal.

Now I don't tolerate nonsense for even a minute, but I don't have to be nasty to shut it down. If some 20-something year old girl starts giving me shit, I just send her away and then forget about her. I never forget that I'm the adult and the one in charge (from both an age and money perspective).

If a grown man is so sensitive that he lets a comment from some young stripper get under his skin, then in my humble opinion he may indeed be the one with the bigger problem.

I haven't run into a case where I really needed one but I am keeping one reply in the back of my mind.

"Your father did not pull out soon enough". :)

A dancer friend told me she told one of her kids that the only reason the kid was here in the world was because she (the dancer) didn't swallow

Shit

Tell her you must swallow good, because you don't have any kids.

Size 14 Doc Marten boot in the cunt

One of my epiphany moments: I think the power these rude dancers have is, the extent to which you're really bothered by them. Take that away, and their power is lost, and they are easily exposed for what they are.

I was in the club waiting for a brand new girl (it was one of the new girl's first days) named Angel. A particularly aggressive hustler named Tori comes by and asks me if I'd like I dance. I tell her I'm waiting for someone -- this was back before I developed my current policy of just saying "no thanks" and not answering any followup questions. Anyway, Tori asks me who I'm waiting for, and I say Angel. She gets an angry look and says, "There's no girl named Angel here", then looks me in the eye and hisses "you're a fucking liar!".

Okay, so what would you have done? Think about it, all you did is tell her you're waiting for someone, and honestly tell her that stripper's name (who was new, which is why the aggressive veteran didn't know her). Who the fuck expects that response?

My response: I laughed out loud. I don't mean internet "lol", I mean, I realized how ridiculous the situation and her reaction were, and started laughing -- out loud, eyes crinkled, mouth wide open, loudly. She looks at me and for a second she's practically apoplectic, then without a word she simply turns around and marches away. Still laughing, I call after her, with a bit of Jerry Seinfeld-like sarcasm in my voice, "No really! She's new! Don't go away mad!" True story, happy ending: that girl NEVER approached me in the club again.

Anyway, that was one of those moments I realized how much stripper shit is just bluff, a low-self-esteem jr-high-school-level of emotional maturity girl, trying to make herself feel better by bullying and counting on the guys just caving.

To this day, I think it was so brilliant that I almost always try to do the same thing -- instead of getting angry or embarrassed, just laugh out loud -- when a girl is getting rude. Sometimes I'm caught so off guard I don't do it, but usually, I can pull it off perfectly. Sometimes the girl just goes away, sometimes it actually de-escalates things.

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