What if You were Outed?

I'm in the same boat except for #6. My kids know about my strip clubbing. My daughter has bought me sexaually suggestive t-shirts to wear to the clubs, has given me perfumes to give to strippers and always tells me "have fun but keep it wrapped". They both know who shadowcat is and have even seen some of my posts. It is nice to not have to hide anything from them.

"I think the consequences for me would be minor. On a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 represents a personal and financial disaster, I believe my being outed would be a 3. This reflects both my attitude and my personal situation at this time of life.

1. Intimate relationships. I'm single and so I don't have to worry about divorce or a break-up with a significant other. The longest relationship I've had in the past 5 years is with my ATF, and she knows she's a stripper.

2. Professional life. I'm confident I would not be fired. People at work would be surprised, because I look like a straight arrow, but my career would not be affected.

3. Financial situation. Even if I were fired, I would be okay financially because of my investments. I'm about ready to retire in a year or two anyway.

4. Neighbors and acquaintances. I've never cared much about "what people think." Their disapproval would not matter.

5. Friends. Most of my friends would be shocked to learn I hang out in strip clubs, but I don't think I would lose any friends.

6. Family. My adult children, I think, would be disappointed in me. They might even conclude that dad is losing it in his old age. This is the only consequence that is a real negative for me.


So what if you were outed? How serious would the consequences be for you?"

Like you I'm single with NO significant Others to be concerned about. Professional life is totally NOT an issue at this point. As long as I DON'T spend TOO much on Clubs I'm Okay. Likewise, I've never cared much about "what people think." Their disapproval would not matter. My main two friends might be disappointed, but they would more than likely remain friends. I'd have the same situation with my family, some significant disappointment!

So it would not be a disaster, just a big road bump with some persons. BUT this is a risk I'm VERY willing to take as the rewards from my current ATF really outweigh the possible negatives from being "Outed"!

I was 'outed' by one of my own reviews almost two years ago and it was of no consequence to me at the time.

Last autumn I was close to doing a deal with a BIG oil company and then joining its board. I was seriously worried about the deal being queered if my internet persona and SC hobby ever came to light. I almost resigned from tuscl at that time. The deal fell through for different reasons and I am still here, still hobbying when I can.

My sister has thought for 20+ years that I am a POS because of my sexual antics. I disappointed my Mom by not going on to university 45+ years ago; finding out about my SC hobby would mean nothing to her. She is 96 years old and would simply refuse to believe that anything like the SC world even exists on this planet. My brothers are big boys and would just laugh at me and then continue being my brothers. One of my employees caught me on tuscl one day at the exploration camp and soon everybody in camp knew of farmerart and his hobby - no big deal with my employees.

I am still trying to do a deal with a multi-national oil company and if that ever happens I will have to rethink my position, but until that happens I don't give a crap about being 'outed'

for me it would barely register on the scale.

Intimate relationships: currently single and dating a couple different women that know it's not an exclusive thing and I met them in a strip club to stat with.

Professional life: I am currently self-employed so I wouldn't fire myself. If I went to work for a company, my skills keep me ok the blue cost side & plumbing wouldn't affect it.

Financial: no change because the job wouldn't be affected.

Neighbors & acquaintances: acquaintances probably already k.ow. the neighbors are learning & loving the revolving door of dancers in & out.

Friend: they all know so I can't ready be 'outed' to them.

Family: same as friends, they all know.

Like I said, barely a blip on the radar.

I hate this damn touch screen & auto-correct......

stat - start
ok - on
plumbing - clubbing
k.ow - know
ready - really

"plumbing - clubbing"

I was wondering about "Plumbing"! LOL

Nothing would happen to me except maybe I'd have less of a shot with some of the hotter babes at work and my old man might ask me which clubs are the good ones lmao

Well let's do this !

Family : either 6 feet deep or haven't seen me in 10 years

Friends: I'm a well known womenizer so no suprise

Work: self employed so no problem/ I do work for a company but they all look forward to what "blue" aka "juice" has been up2 lol

Kids: to young to even care but my sons will know all I know when the time is right

"My life as I know it would end. I'm married with a ridiculously jealous wife. There would be no second chances. My professional career would NOT tolerate this type of behavior and I would basically have to change states. Even that wouldn't work if I were to get arrested for something somehow. I would be unemployable worldwide actually due to an international organization that does background checks for the industry.

Is it worth it? It must be, because I still do it! :)"

You like to live dangerously don't you. The adrenaline Rush?

Not a huge deal. My best friends are guys from work and they're all conservative Fundamentalist Evangelical Christians. I'm a non practicing Catholic. They don't really like Catholics as it is, but I think they would be really surprised to learn of my secret strip club life.

It would be bad - the worst of which would be trying to "sincerely" apologize. A man can be pushed and pushed into desperation but if he acts on it, it becomes his own fault. The additional scrutiny it would bring down to my already suffocating life if everything tried to continue as is might lead me to just let go even though it would hurt a few people. Then, it would really be bad.

Hmmm... to be totally honest most of my comment workers knows about my strip club activities. All of the guys are jealous that I date dancers from time to time. Consequence for my current job will be zero but for my future career might be different.

I'm single, so that wouldn't be a problem.

It could potentially have a slight impact on my career if word got out, but it's unlikely that it would have more than a slight impact.

I've been having dancers over to my house once every few weeks for a while so some of my neighbors have to have a suspicion. Some of them are nosy enough that they've either noticed or I've gotten very lucky and they haven't been up when dancers were getting into or out of my car.

Most of my friends would be very shocked and them finding out would be very bad for me. There are a few friends who know the "name" I'm using on here and if they found out, they'd be slapping me on the back.

My family would be as shocked as my friends would be. Some of my family members would disown me, the rest would ask me to take them to the club with them. Especially if they found out that I've been having dancers spend the night at my house every now and then.

1. Intimate relationships. I'd be found in the bay with concrete shoes.

2. Professional life. I'd be canned in a split second. To easy for me to be extorted.

3. Financial situation. See #2.

4. Neighbors and acquaintances. I've never cared much about "what people think." Their disapproval would not matter. Even ran into one IN a club.

5. Friends. Most of my friends ARE TUSCLers, or already know I go. I see many there. :)

6. Family. Been to clubs with my wife and ADULT children. No problem there.

I am single and self employed so absolutely no impact on those fronts. Most of my friends know I go to clubs. Only a few know how often I go and what really goes on there. The ones that don't know all the details might be surprised, but would not care. My parents are still alive at 94, but my mother is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's. My father would be disappointed as he is very religious. Other than the disappointment from my father, there would be no consequense to me. I have given up caring about what others thought of my behavior, many years ago.

Outed how? For going to a strip club? For going habitually? For doing illegal acts?

Unless I got outed for something illegal it wouldn't be a problem at all, and even then it would probably just be embarrassing. I'm in a unique position though, my clubbing is mostly done while I travel for work. It would be hard to even prove I go that much unless someone followed me from place to place.

Whoever I'm dating at the time might take issue, but if they make a big deal I would happily be the one to end it.

My boss, while a religious fanatic, wouldn't do anything. Clients wouldn't care and really there is no way they would ever find out. I might get some looks from co-workers but that means nothing to me.

0 impact on my financial situation. Even if I got fired I wouldn't have a huge problem getting another job. Again, unless it was something illegal.

The only neighbors I know are two college girls. They don't think I'm a weirdo now, this wouldn't change it.

My friends would probably be split down the middle... From not giving a fuck to trying to "save" me. Many of their wives and gf's would probably think I was a degenerate, and thus I would lose a few of them.

My family would probably be disappointed and make comments behind my back. None of them would say anything to my face though. They all have so much baggage I wouldn't give a fuck anyway. My nieces and nephews are to young to understand and in the future I'll probably explain it to them... Along with things like why their Uncle; gambles alot, drinks alot, smokes cigars alot and keeps bringing around different girl friends.

I am single, so no consequence there.
It could only have an effect on work if I was doing something illegal.
Would only impact finances if I lost my job.
Don't know my neighbors real well and the ones I do know are single and would probably want to join me. They always have women coming in and out of their place.
As to friends, some know and some don't. I have gone to clubs with some of them and I talk regularly with a couple of them about my exploits. Most of them won't care, I do know of one who is extremely religious and would be disappointed.
As for family, my mom would be disappointed and my dad has Alzheimer's but if he didn't he probably wouldn't care.

1. I'm married, "outing" might not result in a divorce, but O' the pain and tears, and "long talks" and promises I'd have to make. Then again, it might end up in divorce, and there goes at least 2/3s of my money just when it would become easier to go clubbing!
2. I retired early and am living off savings until I can get to retirement investments. It's comfortable now, but the consequences of a divorce (see #1) could be difficult. Hell, I might have to go back to work! I could get a well paying job even if "outed."
3. See #2
4. Here it might be an issue. I have (unwillingly) become well known in my community and have been able to accomplish a few things helpful to others. Were I "outed," some of the ongoing projects would crash and burn. Several people who have helped me in these projects are certainly in the "Fundy" classification and would condemn me quickly.
5. Probably a big split here. I would probably lose most of my married friends (even though a few of them already know and approve). Others, probably not "lose" but it would take some explaining.
6. Brothers would have a lifetime of "razz me" material. Parents not an issue. Grown kids, well, - - - probably nothing worse than awkward for a while.

Overall, I'd rate it a 4 or 5. Something I don't want to happen!

My wife already "knows" that SCs are thinly-veiled places for continuous rampant sex acts. So I am under a life-time ban. So, if I was ever outed, it would be instantaneous divorce and lots of pans getting thrown and more drama than a straight-to-DVD movie.

Financially I would be up the creek, my profession would ostracize me, my friends would be barely tolerant, my family would be generally accepting but more pissed about how I ruined my own home and family. And it would be hard to explain to the children. So the stakes are very high.

There was a time years ago when it would have been at least a seven, maybe more. But I have re-arranged my life to better suit my tastes. I'm happier now and have more time and money on my hands. Wouldn't exactly be a zero but not as bad as it once would have been.

SCs are not illegal?

And really, who would not understand a man wanting to look at beautiful naked women. Men have been desiring/lusting women since the beginning of time. Even presidents and world leaders have been known to have mistresses for ages now – this is part of the human, especially male, existence.

It’s not like we are indulging in kiddy porn or anything like that. I don’t know of any guy who would not enjoy looking/lusting-over beautiful naked women – there are those who just can do it, and those who can’t b/c of marriage/kids or finances. I don’t think any man would not enjoy SCing; those that don’t do it is again b/c they can’t or they “force” themselves not to do it.

I can certainly understand if one is married (I am not) or in a serious/committed relationship, then in would be a problem. Other than that, a guy wanting to look at beautiful naked women is as normal as wanting to breathe.

Papi - I don't disagree that all heterosexual men enjoy looking at the female form. But there are some men, who would not want to look at beautiful naked women at a SC. I have a friend, who is extremely religious and would have no desire to go to a strip club even if he was not married. I have talked with him about how attractive some women are and he has done the same, but I know from the way he talks and acts he would not want to go to a SC. So, I am sure there are others who fall into that category as well. I'm just not one of them. lol.

@rh48hr,

I completely understand your point. Believe or not I am a religious guy myself; but obviously not extremely religious – at least not at the current time.

There were times earlier in my life when I was definitely more religious (i.e. thru my 20s) and I lived my life as a very straight arrow and there is really nothing wrong with that. But even then, I definitely lusted for women – I just did not ACT on it. Based on this I made the comment in my post above “they “force” themselves not to do it”.

I can understand a guy, especially a religious and married one, not wanting to visit a SC. But I strongly think it is not b/c he would not “enjoy” it, but b/c of the moral/religious consequences.

Since religion is still a pretty big part of my life, I am often intrigued by the religion vs. sexual-desire dichotomy – this reminds me of a religious program I heard a while back which focused on how many “men of the clothe”, i.e. preachers, were secretly addicted (or partook) to internet porn.

I think the very vast majority of men who would not “want to do anything” with SCs is due to moral/religious dogma and not due to a lack of desire.

Thanks for your thoughts/comments.