No Lap Dances, No Extras

jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
I had a shocking experience at the Penthouse Club in Detroit yesterday: No lap dances, no extras.

I dropped in at the club at 3PM on my way home. The Penthouse was crowded with customers, with booths full of groups of men ranging from businessmen to construction workers. I sat at one of the little tables beside the stage, looking (I thought) pretty good in my suit and tie. The 20 dancers were young and attractive (not one under a 7), and they were smiling and having a good time. From my seat, I could always see 4 dancers on stage and at least 3 would be topless.

I had hoped to see 2 favorite strippers who appeal to my shallow nature, but they were not in the rotation. So I tipped some girls on stage, including a blonde beauty with great boobs. I asked the girls to join me when they got off stage, and they said they would. But then they disappeared, never to be seen again.

No dancers approached me for the first hour. Then I stripper I knew sat down and chatted with me for a while. But I was still hoping the beautiful blonde would return, and so I declined her offer for dances. No other strippers came by. After 2 hours, I called it a day.

My strip club experience:
Titties observed: 40
Lap dances: 0
Extras: 0

My costs:
Drinks: $30
Cover: $0
Stage tips: $3
Valet parking: $7
----------- ---
Total $40


I've never left the Penthouse with so much money in my pocket. And the strange thing is, I had a good time. Just sitting and drinking and watching half-naked girls was fun. And it was a lot of fun on a per dollar basis.

Have I been doing this strip club thing all wrong? Should go to the clubs 7 days a week and still save money by just watching and never touching? Have I found the key to happiness and financial success?




26 comments

Latest

stripclubspy
13 years ago
No, No, and No.
vincemichaels
13 years ago
jackslash, esteemed TUSCL contributor and TUSCL buddy. I don't think you did anything wrong. If the dumb ass bimbos at The Penthouse Club failed to cash in on an opportunity, I'd say it's more their problem than yours. I've always enjoyed watching the titties at any club I've ever been to. I spend my money as I please, when I please as I don't doubt all of us here do. Next time you are in, ask for Alexandra, a Latina brunette. She'll rock your world. Or ask for Tianna. HAPPY HUNTING !!
MADDOG_ROMEO
13 years ago
Jslash, it seems like you were transported back in time....were you being filmed for a back in the day episode of "Candid Camera", or a Seinfield "No Soup for You" skit....lol
Alucard
13 years ago
I'll join by Buddy Vince in recommending Alexandra, a Latina brunette on Day Shift. She's REALLY friendly. I can't speak for her VIP skills though, as I never did a VIP with her. I did spend some time talking at the upstairs bar. Alexandra was quite touchy-feely!

Try sitting at that upstairs bar.
farmerart
13 years ago
Sounds suspiciously like a visit to an Alberta club.
Electronman
13 years ago
If the hunting is not good at PHC, take half of the $ that you budgeted and head to BT's (or Coliseum. Not quite up to PHC standards but very decent talent, OK VIP facility and more bang for the buck than PHC.
vincemichaels
13 years ago
I'm informed that Tiana no longer dances. Best of luck to that exceptionally sexy, beautiful woman in whatever direction life takes her.
Alucard
13 years ago
"I'm informed that Tiana no longer dances. Best of luck to that exceptionally sexy, beautiful woman in whatever direction life takes her"

I agree Vince.
Ermita_Nights
13 years ago
This happens sometimes, for no apparent reason. I asked a girl about it once after a night like this at Toledo Scarlett's. She said since she never saw any girls talking to me, she assumed I wanted to be alone and didn't approach. Sounds like a lame excuse to me but I guess it's possible.

When this does happen, I head over to Bogart's or one of their H8 sister clubs. I always feel welcome there.

I have had enjoyable evenings without LD or extras, but they usually involve sitting and drinking with a half-naked girl who is a witty conversationalist.
Blue42TX
13 years ago
If you're happy...then leave happy and save the $ and add it to the budget you have for next time.
shadowcat
13 years ago
I try to get my oil changed once a week. I went in 3 weeks ago on a Saturday and couldn't get the service done. So I went back on Sunday and took care of business.
JacksonEsskay
13 years ago
I have had similar and dissimilar experiences, that is, I've been to a club and only watched the stage show and been perfectly happy to leave with cash in my wallet. Other times, I've been frustrated that I cannot get the attention of a single dancer (usually because the crowd is large and/or they immediately head to the table of a regular or whale). I think partly it depends on your mood, but also partly on the vibe of the club. If everyone seems to be having a good time in the stage room, I think that helps elevate your mood.
samsung1
13 years ago
my guess is that the stage tip of $3 was not enough to get her attention or take you serious. I often had that problem at PHC with tipping only $1.
jackattack107
13 years ago
I usually only ever bring 60 dollars to a strip club to make sure I don't go overboard. So I better be leaving with no cash in my pockets!
georgmicrodong
13 years ago
@shadowcat: Just an oil change isn't enough anymore. I have to get that, a lube and a complete tuneup. Not as often though. Every couple of weeks is all I can handle.
bang69
13 years ago
jack you did nothing wrong
farmerart
13 years ago
@georg & shadowcat:

I am starting to hate you guys again.

Since July 1, I have had precisely TWO oil changes; mind you, one oil change required a week-long servicing in Hawaii.
Bananafish
13 years ago
This is very common at PHC. Girls there much prefer to waste 3 hours with a regular and make zero money than to try out a new customer. They fear spending time with you and maybe getting rejected if they ask for a dance They fear rejection above all else.

Also, they will always say "yes" when someone tips them and asks them to stop by. It's easier than explaining that they have a regular waiting or that they need to go to the dressing room and text message for 30 minutes. Saying "no" risks causing a scene. There's no upside for them in saying no. They'll always say they'll stop by.

At PHC I ask them to "stop by" since it implies I'm looking for a quick chat and some dances. Don't ask if they'll "join you" because they might think you just want them sit with you all day.
lopaw
13 years ago
You can't win.
Either we're ignored entirely like lepers, or pestered constantly and cock/pussyblocked by dancers that we're not interested in.
Seems more & more to be one or the other nowadays.
samsung1
13 years ago
If you go upstairs to the smoker's bar at PHC you can see who is coming in and out of the lap dance areas. Once you see them leaving the LD area they have usually lost interest in their customer and you can get their attention easier.
Alucard
13 years ago
"This is very common at PHC. Girls there much prefer to waste 3 hours with a regular and make zero money than to try out a new customer"

I had an ATF at PHC that would spend several hours with me on each of my visits. After those hours of "visiting" were over we would retire to the VIP room for a big session. She MADE a very nice amount of money from me. NOT Zero dollars! And fairly often over the course of many visits She would do a few Dances for other customers. I had no problem with this (I'm NOT jealous or possessive) and she ALWAYS came back to me after these short interludes.

"You can't win"

Yes you can.
JuiceBox69
13 years ago
Jack it happens to the juice 2 ! You did nothim wrong ! All you did was go in and you had a damn good time ! I've noticed the more I club the picker I get ! When I first started out I would through money at a dude if he sat with me lol ! But now I want spend unless I can get at least 100% of what I'm looking for ! Some times it is sex, convo, snuggling, takeout, none of this or all the above and ya some times its just fun to walk in not be bothered get some drinks watch some tits and leave with cash to play with well for me at the local amp lol ! Or to a good food joint !
zef8mich
13 years ago
I never had much happen at the tables beside the stage in PHC. Could be the other dancers don't want the dancers on stage hearing whats being discussed.
Alan has a reputation for being concerned about the dancers appearance. I suppose the dancers spend more time than usual freshening up.
georgmicrodong
13 years ago
@art: You poor millionaire, you. All alone in your self imposed exile. It must really be rough flying wherever you want and not having to worry about the wallet spilling a few thousand for a dancer's charms. :))))
Alucard
13 years ago
Wish I had Art's "Problems"! LMAO
steve229
13 years ago
@jackslash - I think I got you beat

Parking: $0
Cover: $0
First Drink: $6
Second Drink: $0 (Happy Hour)
Waitress Tips: $2
Tip Walk: $6
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Total $14
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