tuscl

Weird moments in strip clubs?

Ok, what weird experiences have you had in strip clubs?

I'll start with one that just popped into my memory. I was getting a lap dance from a dancer who apparently started lactating or had milk flowing from her boobs because I guess she was leaning against me while she had been talking to me earlier. Anyway at one point during the lap dance, she thought it would be funny to try to squirt me in the face. I was holding my hands up deflecting the milk she was shooting at me from her boobs. She was alternating boobs trying to hit me in the face. She kept hitting my hands. Apparently the friction with me while dancing got her milk flowing like crazy. I didn't want to drink any so I was dodging the milk shooting out.

How about you?

19 comments

  • CTQWERTY
    13 years ago
    Shark, how much did THAT cost???
  • Clubber
    13 years ago
    Having a club staff member walk into our private (behind closed door) session to adjust the AC control located in our room. Talk about being "caught with your pants down!"
  • MADDOG_ROMEO
    13 years ago
    Towards the end of a long night at a sc one night, I was in that spot where I had to have just one more dance with a hot babe coming off stage. Problem though, I needed more cash. So I arrange to meet this beauty in 5 minutes after I hit the club atm. Moments later, while in the midst of yanking cash out of the atm machine - my junk was grabbed from behind and practically yanked off by some unknown over zealous vixen. Clever move, as I was held hostage to the transaction. Still don't even know who she was. I'm telling you though - if this was the NFL and my package was a face mask....this wasn't garden variety holding, this was 15 yards....
  • vincemichaels
    13 years ago
    Running into my ex-girlfriend's current boyfriend more than a few years ago, while they were dating. I had to smile and think, boy oh boy, I should tell her that. LMAO
  • bang69
    13 years ago
    waching a nude dancer go on the rag while on stage
  • georgmicrodong
    13 years ago
    I think I've mentioned these before:

    Waitress, attempting to illustrate why "none of these bitches can give a blowjob like I can," takes her teeth out of her mouth.

    Bartender/waitress walks into the room while the current object of my lust is busy fucking or sucking me, and said lust object never even slows down.

    Seeing my son's ex-girlfriend naked on stage.

    A pregnant dancer's water breaking on stage.
  • canny
    13 years ago
    Having a dancer who I didn't know come up to me and greet me by name.
  • sharkhunter
    13 years ago
    To answer how much did it cost me. Two for 30 or thirty dollars. she started squirting me near the end of the second song so she didn't take much away from the dance. Then since the song was over, I guess she was offering free milk. Apparently she wanted me to get a taste. I kept my hands up and mouth closed. Maybe she thought I had it coming but I didn't make her milk start flowing on purpose. It wasn't angry squirts. She seemed to be having fun but seemed to enjoy it a bit too much. I think it was only 10 to 15 squirts. Seemed like some old water fights I was in but I didn't have a water gun.
  • sharkhunter
    13 years ago
    She was talking to me for a while before asking for dances and one of her boobs was pressed up against me and I believe another dancer pointed out all the milk that had already leaked out under her top. She just wiped it off but I guess the milk kept coming out. Maybe she had too much milk. :)
    She could have worn a shirt called. FREE MILK

  • JacksonEsskay
    13 years ago
    Getting several dances at the local strip club from a former student in a class I taught at the local Community College. I could not remember what grade she got in the class, but I sure hope it was an A!
  • Clubber
    13 years ago
    Seeing a co-workers wife dancing, with him also in the club, and another time when he was out of town.
  • motorhead
    13 years ago
    I was at a club where there was a bachelor party group and they brought the bachelor up on stage with a ball and chain. Stupidly, they wrapped the chain around a chair and locked it. He sat on the chair while the girls danced on him. Anyway, I guess he bit one if the dancers on the nipple and she retaliated with a punch to his groin.

    He tried to get up but of course he was chained down to his chair. So the music stopped, the poor guy is in agony, and a young kid that worked at the cllub was nervously trying to unlock the chain. For some reason he was having trouble getting the lock undone. It went on for what seemed liked forever. No music, lights on, all eyes focused on him. Really uncomfortable for several minutes
  • motorhead
    13 years ago
    I guess this could also fit in the strip club injury thread. Lol
  • mmdv26
    13 years ago
    Dancer and I were totally into a BBFS session, when suddenly the club caught on fire and completely burned down around us. As she lay in an exhausted heap on my lap, head on my shoulder, I opened my eyes and all I could see was charred, smoking ruins and a couple of firemen nearby holding a hose and an axe. They asked if we were done so they could spray water on the couch where we were sitting.
  • vincemichaels
    13 years ago
    Great story, mmdv26 !!! I have to wonder if it is fiction though, like a lot of stuff here. LOL
  • JuiceBox69
    13 years ago
    Lol !
  • looneylarry
    13 years ago
    @shark, you know what they say about free milk from a cow? ("She said no huggin no kissin until I get a wedding vow/my honey my baby don't put my love upon no shelf/she said don't hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself.)

    Got into an argument with a tatted-up old skank about why she was not "entitled" to the ten in bar change that was sitting on my table. She insisted that I had to give it to her as a stage tip. I reasserted my right to withhold said tip for some shitty dancing and attitude. Nearly came to blows.

    Almost got sucked into a strip club in New Orleans that featured trannies. It took studying the poster of the dancers for several minutes until I figured it out.

    Saw a skinny, skanky dancer in Omaha one time who had basketball-sized implants. She must have been at least 60. I couldn't believe that I was actually sitting and watching it.

    Went to LEC in Denver one time and had a dancer standing and straddling my lap while I sat on the couch. You can sit there naked and spank it and pay extra to touch her non-private places. When I switched hands, she stopped and bitched me out for several minutes. Kind of ruined the mood. Must be the stripper analogy to shaking hands with the left hand in the Mideast.
  • mmdv26
    13 years ago
    The sex was real, the fire is fiction...except for the firemen who each wanted a hundred dollars from me.
  • Tiredtraveler
    13 years ago
    At Platnum Showgirls (nude club that burned down) in Toledo on a Thursday night there was a couple at the stage that was "feeling frisky" They were both very drunk and she looked about 4 month pregnant. The next thing everyone knows she has her legs on the edge of the stage with pants down to her knees, her butt in his lap, her shirt pulled up exposing tits and he had four fingers in her cooch and the other pulling nipples. The bounces were so shocked it took then a few minutes to react. The girl that had been dancing for the guy next to them told me later "that was a nasty crotch" before all the girls left the stage The bouncers pulled her off the stage pulled her pants up when she would not and when they pulled her off her boy friend he had his pants undone with his dick out under her ready to do her right at the stage. The bouncer bodily threw them both out with out letting them fasten up pants etc. (it was January as Thursday night football had just finished on the TV)She also told the woman had gone back stage to use the bathroom earlier and the house mother had to stop her from going on stage "to give her man a lapdance" The whole thing would not have been so bad but she was at best a 2.5 if she had cleaned up and trimmed that briar patch that started at her navel and ended half way to her knees. yuck!!
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