An Homage to Carnac the Magnificent
motorhead
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life
Monday, December 12, 2011 11:04 PM
For our older ladies and gentlemen.
"I hold in my hand the envelopes. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. They've been kept in a #2 mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnall's porch since noon today. No one knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your borderline divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers having never before seen the questions."
Strip club version:
Ed: Up the ass
Carnac: How does a proctologist make his living?
Ed: Just shut up and suck
Carnac: what do you say to your whiny wife when you run out of gas?
Ed: K-Y jelly. A rubber. And $200
Carnac: Name two things a baseball pitcher uses and the cost of a ticket to Orlando.
Ed: I don't do this for anyone else
Carnac: what your neighbor says when he mows yor lawn
Ed: Not in the mouth, please
Carnac: What Chuck Wepner said to Ali
Ed: That's the biggest cock I've ever seen
Carnac: What the 4H fair judge said to the blue ribbon winner
Ed: Thirty dollars or five for $100
Carnac: The price of Pizza Hut's new 24" pizza
Ed: 2 AM
Carnac: The time farmerart has to get out of bed to fix the leaking hydraulic valve
Ed: A beaver. A pussy. And a dick.
Carnac: Name two furry animals and the only president to resign from office
Ed: plz cum c me
Carnac: Today's launch code at Minot AFB
Ed: DJ, Dancer, and Bathroom Troll
Carnac: Name an 80's sitcom character, one of Santa's reindeer, and a monster who hates bridges
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion
19 comments