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Paris Report

"When the good die they go to Paris. When the bad die they go to El Paso."

I'm in Paris, staying near the Arc de Triomphe and the Champs-Elysees. I won't tell you about the incredible museums like the Louvre and the Musee d'Orsay. I won't mention the architectural wonders like Notre Dame and the Eiffel Tower. I won't say anything about the food, the wines, the cheeses, the coq au vin, the flaky croissants, or the crusty bread. I know you guys only care about naked women.

Too much of the naughty Paris of the past has disappeared. The Moulin Rouge was once a cabaret where you could see girls dance the can-can and then take them out for more pleasure, but now it's an over-priced tourist trap where you have no chance of picking up a dancer. The Pigalle area next to the Moulin Rouge remains a red light district, filled with sleazy sex shops and pimps, where you are likely to get ripped off. The Lido and Crazy Horse, located in a safer and more fashionable neighborhood, have become Vegas-style shows with some nudity but at an extravagant price.

The closest thing to the old, bad Paris that I've found is the Theatre Chochotte, which features sex performances. It's located only a few hundred feet from the popular tourist area of Place Saint Michel on the left bank of the Seine, and so it's safe and easy to find. The admission price is 50 euros ($70 US). I would never pay that much to get into a strip club, but this is really the ticket price to a performance. The women are fully nude and engage in fetishism and lesbian acts. The lesbian sex is real, not simulated, and because the theater is very small you are guaranteed a good view. A girl ate another girl's pussy within 6 inches (15 centimeters) of my nose. Herpes can't jump that far, can it?

However, I did not find it as much fun as an American-style strip club. The performances are just that--show performances by professional actors, which lack the spontaneity of strip clubs in the good old USA. You cannot get full contact lap dances or other intimate fun that is available in the best American strip clubs.