ITC Stalkers
9thClient
I regularly visit a club in my area and I usually visit an ATF while I'm there. This ATF is the ATF of several other guys who regularly visit the club. I've recently become a little unsettled with the behavior of some of these other dudes. For example, I've had one guy repeatedly circle the two of us as we sat having a drink - this circling continued for at least 30 minutes. She's reported (and I've witnessed) various incredible tantrums other guys have thrown because she was with me. Another guy found us in the VIP room and stationed himself in a position where he leered over us for nearly an hour. The same VIP room guy once sent a waitress to retrieve my ATF, while she was in the VIP room with me, to inquire as to whether she would be out anytime soon. I estimate I've had what I consider stalker-like situations about 20 times in the past 10 months from about 6 different guys. More than anything, I find their actions annoying.
My most disturbing encounter occurred outside the club - as I was getting in my car, I noticed one of the ITC stalkers watching me - not just looking at me, but standing outside his car and staring at me as I got in my car - as I observed in my rear-view mirror, he watched me drive away, never moving from his spot. The situation sounds rather mundane when I review what I've written here, but it was thoroughly weird. Many worst-case scenarios ran through my mind, most involving license plates and my house.
I'm not opposed to speaking to these guys when their behavior irritates me, but she discourages me unless they are full-blown psychos. From her point of view, I understand some of these guys are also a source of income, so I understand her position, but WTF? This behavior is nuts, but because it's nuts, I wonder how they'd respond to any sort of verbal confrontation. I know they may never return if a manager boots them from the club and that means lost money for her. I mean, come on guys, we're all PL's hanging out at strip clubs to see chicks because we either can't or won't see chicks in more traditional environments. Do these guys have zero pride? Find something else - she's occupied (for now)! During my history, I've waited, I've left, I've sampled other offerings, I've visited other clubs or I've just sat and drank beer. Every other guy has the same options as myself.
So my question to all the other wise and world weary guys here is this: Has anyone else experienced the ITC stalker or something similar? What is the best way to deal with situations like these?
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Another old fav of mine had a guy that was just pathetically obsessed - he would bring her coffee, smokes, etc., and sometimes even run out to get her whatever money he could scroung up. When he could no longer pay for her time, he actually took a job at the club as a bar back (or what I call "bar bitch")!
But again, nothing as extreme as what these dudes are doing.
As for handling the general situation, I make sure every dancer I’m with knows that she can leave anytime she wants. They rarely do. I admit to sometimes amusing myself by screwing with the stalkers and spending more time/money to keep the dancer to myself (sometimes to the end of her shift). Other than that I simply ignore the sorry fucking losers.
When I’m on the other side of the equation, I let the dancer know I’m there (visually or stage tipping). I then give her 20 minutes to free herself or I leave.
And any guy that interrupts a dancer and customer (directly or indirectly) is disrespecting both of them. He should *expect* to have a cap popped in his ass.
@looneylarry: The strange thing about the stalkers she has is they generally seem reasonably well-to-do. Not terribly weird looking (except for one) and clean cut. As for the license plate, I don't know that he did this, but my paranoia entertained the possibility!
@rickdugan: I'd consider taking a job as a bar-back pretty freaking extreme! But I've heard some similar stories (re: gifts, etc) from her.
@GSWx4: I thought the request to see her while in VIP was ridiculous. I informed the waitress if it happened again, there would be no tip for her.
& finally, @Alucard: Only once have I alerted management, as it was a guy who was very clearly disturbed in some fashion or another. He was asked to leave, which he did - I then walked out of the club with her and paid for a valet to retrieve her car. I also escorted her to her apartment to be sure she wasn't followed. I know this isn't a foolproof plan. I also know most of the guys who stalk her spend enough money to gain a little favorable treatment from management.
I still think it's weird, but unfortunately, I now know its not unheard of. There are some crazy MF'ers out there!
"most of the guys who stalk her spend enough money to gain a little favorable treatment from management"
As 9thClient (is that you, Eliot?) notes, not sure that talking to management would help much, since ITC Stalkers are actually a prized customer demographic for club management (hey, they're ALWAYS in the club). Manager is more likely to throw YOU out for bothering his "better" customers, lol.
2. carry a gun. i agree with staxwell. But I'd carry either a .357 snuby or .40 cal pistol with you at all times
We then adjourned to the back room.
Also a good example of how good dancers have a notebook on us in their heads.
And Pete, I've had the exact situation - set up a time to meet and then she's in VIP - I was pissed and later informed her that if it happens again I'll find someone who's more considerate of her regulars. But I dont understand a reason (short of some Mexican gang situation!) for me to alter my behavior or schedule for the convenience of bad-apple ITC stalkers. As far as I'm concerned, the stalkers need to alter their behavior, not me.
I handle the situation the same way GSW does. Every girl I talk with for more than a few minutes knows she's welcome to leave at any point, and that I genuinely won't hold it against her. I think one dancer has left me to spend time with another customer; he came they danced, she returned, he sat with another dancer.
On the other side of the situation I've again got a similar method to GSW. I'll let them know I'm there and wait a bit for her to come over - then move on one way or another.
I've never been approached by one of them, I'd almost welcome the opportunity to ask him what the fuck he is thinking. It's unlikely I'd shy away from a physical concentration or initiate one myself though. I leave the .45 in the truck when I go in, I forgot once and the poor dancer almost shit herself when she realized I wasn't just "Happy to see her"
It reinforces my belief that one should always keep a couple of balls in the air at the club. I've never received a discount because I was monogamous with a particular dancer. So, if one has trouble staying with me, I just move to another girl...and punish the one who allowed me to be "blocked-out" by not doing dances with her until she is ready to recognize my value...and give me a big discount to make amends.
There aren't very many dancers worth fighting over either. Not everybody recognizes that, and that is where the trouble can start. Situational awareness is critical in strip club parking lots after dark...for a lot of reasons.
Because strippers lies about everything.