ITC Stalkers

avatar for 9thClient
9thClient
I'm a relative strip-club neophyte compared to many of the members on this site. For about two years, I've been visiting various clubs in my area or wherever I might be. So maybe I'm just naive but I've seen some strange shit in these two years - but the strangest is, for me, a recent phenomenon.

I regularly visit a club in my area and I usually visit an ATF while I'm there. This ATF is the ATF of several other guys who regularly visit the club. I've recently become a little unsettled with the behavior of some of these other dudes. For example, I've had one guy repeatedly circle the two of us as we sat having a drink - this circling continued for at least 30 minutes. She's reported (and I've witnessed) various incredible tantrums other guys have thrown because she was with me. Another guy found us in the VIP room and stationed himself in a position where he leered over us for nearly an hour. The same VIP room guy once sent a waitress to retrieve my ATF, while she was in the VIP room with me, to inquire as to whether she would be out anytime soon. I estimate I've had what I consider stalker-like situations about 20 times in the past 10 months from about 6 different guys. More than anything, I find their actions annoying.

My most disturbing encounter occurred outside the club - as I was getting in my car, I noticed one of the ITC stalkers watching me - not just looking at me, but standing outside his car and staring at me as I got in my car - as I observed in my rear-view mirror, he watched me drive away, never moving from his spot. The situation sounds rather mundane when I review what I've written here, but it was thoroughly weird. Many worst-case scenarios ran through my mind, most involving license plates and my house.

I'm not opposed to speaking to these guys when their behavior irritates me, but she discourages me unless they are full-blown psychos. From her point of view, I understand some of these guys are also a source of income, so I understand her position, but WTF? This behavior is nuts, but because it's nuts, I wonder how they'd respond to any sort of verbal confrontation. I know they may never return if a manager boots them from the club and that means lost money for her. I mean, come on guys, we're all PL's hanging out at strip clubs to see chicks because we either can't or won't see chicks in more traditional environments. Do these guys have zero pride? Find something else - she's occupied (for now)! During my history, I've waited, I've left, I've sampled other offerings, I've visited other clubs or I've just sat and drank beer. Every other guy has the same options as myself.

So my question to all the other wise and world weary guys here is this: Has anyone else experienced the ITC stalker or something similar? What is the best way to deal with situations like these?

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avatar for steve_ny
steve_ny
13 years ago
Some guys are harmless, but there are some that are there for a reason. The stalkers are just as creepy in the outside world, I am sure this same guy will circle around Starbuck's trying to get some girl's attention. Makes me nervous for the girls leaving at 4am.
avatar for looneylarry
looneylarry
13 years ago
Haven't really seen the menacing stare-down jerks yet. I'd wonder if she regularly gives ITC extras or why they have have this unnatural obsession. Or whether it is a current or former boyfriend. The most I've seen has been the relatively harmless PL who has really fallen for a dancer but is not looking for a fight and would probably get his ass kicked by all of the guys and probably all of the dancers in the club. The mousey kind of guys that probably live at home with their mothers and have a learning disability of some kind. If you are getting the guys who like to do the stare-down or the license plate stare, I'd be inclined to find another club before they try and re-enact any scenes from "Deliverance".
avatar for sinclair
sinclair
13 years ago
These possessive guys need to get a life. The dancer is going to spend time with whoever is dropping the most cash. I think we've all run into this situation at some time or another.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
13 years ago
I've seen some of this, but not as extreme. My local fav has a guy who is obsessed and used to follow her around the club, when he wasn't at home dreaming up more elaborate text messages to send to her. And she had a lot of affection for him as well, at least right up until she finished draining his bank account. ;)

Another old fav of mine had a guy that was just pathetically obsessed - he would bring her coffee, smokes, etc., and sometimes even run out to get her whatever money he could scroung up. When he could no longer pay for her time, he actually took a job at the club as a bar back (or what I call "bar bitch")!

But again, nothing as extreme as what these dudes are doing.
avatar for txtittyfan
txtittyfan
13 years ago
You're probably OK as long as you aren't clubbing at 2AM.
avatar for deogol
deogol
13 years ago
Damn txtittyfan - ya beat me to it! Stay ... away ... at ... 2:00AM!!!
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
13 years ago
When your ATF is not looking, follow the example in my avatar.
avatar for GSWx4
GSWx4
13 years ago
I’ve encountered this many times over the years but not as frequently as you describe (20 times in 10 months). If this is all happening with the same girl you’ve either picked someone who is probably playing a very dangerous game or she is innocently in a dangerous situation and should find another job far, far away.

As for handling the general situation, I make sure every dancer I’m with knows that she can leave anytime she wants. They rarely do. I admit to sometimes amusing myself by screwing with the stalkers and spending more time/money to keep the dancer to myself (sometimes to the end of her shift). Other than that I simply ignore the sorry fucking losers.

When I’m on the other side of the equation, I let the dancer know I’m there (visually or stage tipping). I then give her 20 minutes to free herself or I leave.

And any guy that interrupts a dancer and customer (directly or indirectly) is disrespecting both of them. He should *expect* to have a cap popped in his ass.
avatar for Alucard
Alucard
13 years ago
Have you talked to the Club management?
avatar for CTQWERTY
CTQWERTY
13 years ago
Weird. Thankfully I've missed out to date.
avatar for Dudester
Dudester
13 years ago
Most stalkers are cowards. 9thclient, I don't know your background, but myself, I'd confront the stalker and let him know, in no uncertain terms, that his health is in serious jeopardy by watching. If it continued after that, in the parking lot, I'd seriously fuck him up.
avatar for 9thClient
9thClient
13 years ago
@steve_ny: Fortunately for both of us, she's a day girl. I rarely hit these joints at night. On the other hand, the day crowd is a crowd more likely to be 'regulars'. But I agree with you regarding guys like this. A stalker ITC is probably a stalker everywhere.
@looneylarry: The strange thing about the stalkers she has is they generally seem reasonably well-to-do. Not terribly weird looking (except for one) and clean cut. As for the license plate, I don't know that he did this, but my paranoia entertained the possibility!
@rickdugan: I'd consider taking a job as a bar-back pretty freaking extreme! But I've heard some similar stories (re: gifts, etc) from her.
@GSWx4: I thought the request to see her while in VIP was ridiculous. I informed the waitress if it happened again, there would be no tip for her.
& finally, @Alucard: Only once have I alerted management, as it was a guy who was very clearly disturbed in some fashion or another. He was asked to leave, which he did - I then walked out of the club with her and paid for a valet to retrieve her car. I also escorted her to her apartment to be sure she wasn't followed. I know this isn't a foolproof plan. I also know most of the guys who stalk her spend enough money to gain a little favorable treatment from management.

I still think it's weird, but unfortunately, I now know its not unheard of. There are some crazy MF'ers out there!
avatar for txtittyfan
txtittyfan
13 years ago
And Douchester is proof some are on TUSCL.
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
13 years ago
And most cowards are stalkers but telling difference between an asshole and a stalker there's the challenge.
avatar for steve229
steve229
13 years ago
"Have you talked to the Club management?"

"most of the guys who stalk her spend enough money to gain a little favorable treatment from management"

As 9thClient (is that you, Eliot?) notes, not sure that talking to management would help much, since ITC Stalkers are actually a prized customer demographic for club management (hey, they're ALWAYS in the club). Manager is more likely to throw YOU out for bothering his "better" customers, lol.
avatar for staxwell
staxwell
13 years ago
.380, Or stop with the 2am visits. Nothing good happens after 2am.
avatar for bang69
bang69
13 years ago
1. talk to the management
2. carry a gun. i agree with staxwell. But I'd carry either a .357 snuby or .40 cal pistol with you at all times
avatar for Stiletto25
Stiletto25
13 years ago
I've dealt with really creepy shit more than a few times. Ive learned to be very alert and careful.
avatar for Pete22z
Pete22z
13 years ago
Wow I've never dealt with this either. I've been in situations where I've texted a dancer that I was coming in to see her and found out later that she was in VIP with someone else. I actually was pissed at the dancer. Not "I'm gonna get you" pissed, but annoyed that she couldn't ignore this other dude or at least let me know somehow what was going on so I wouldn't waste my evening waiting on her. She was guaranteed VIP time / $$$ by me. Anyway, you could probably let security know what your concerns are, but they probably can't do anything until the stalker actually does something violent. You probably need to seek time with your ATF when she's less in demand or seek another dancer/club. As many clubs as I've been to, I've never frequented one where I thought my personal safety was an issue. That's a deal-breaker.
avatar for lopaw
lopaw
13 years ago
I've never had the fun of having a stalker mill around menacingly near me. I usually have them come right up to the table and ask my dancer for a dance. Since I'm female, they figure I must be a friend or other employee, so she's fair game. I used to let it go, but not anymore. I pity the fool who next tries to come over and steal my woman!
avatar for deogol
deogol
13 years ago
I've never had a stalker problem either. Just a second, I need to go check on someone....
avatar for thesamurai
thesamurai
13 years ago
Lopaw! I pity the fool too!
avatar for racejeff
racejeff
13 years ago
Yesterday I read this thread and thought never had that experience. Last night sitting with a favorite club was slow so we were sitting and talking planning on going back a room later in evening. She returns from 2nd stage set and says we'll probably need to go back earlier than we thought. Then mentions a guy who tipped at stage, saying he will come over here soon. We then talked about this discussion and she states he's not really a stalker he just knows what he wants and asks for it. Sure enough within 5 minutes he comes over and says can I have a quick 30 minute dance set?

We then adjourned to the back room.

Also a good example of how good dancers have a notebook on us in their heads.
avatar for 9thClient
9thClient
13 years ago
Regarding guns - I keep a gun in my car at all times and I'm good with it, so I'm not too concerned about the OTC stalker confrontation. And unless the guy is some MMA ninja (which I doubt because most of these guys are in their 50's), I'm not really concerned about a normal physical confrontation.

And Pete, I've had the exact situation - set up a time to meet and then she's in VIP - I was pissed and later informed her that if it happens again I'll find someone who's more considerate of her regulars. But I dont understand a reason (short of some Mexican gang situation!) for me to alter my behavior or schedule for the convenience of bad-apple ITC stalkers. As far as I'm concerned, the stalkers need to alter their behavior, not me.
avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan
13 years ago
I've seen it with seemingly increasing frequency lately as well. I'm really baffled by it. It happens enough where I've sat with dancers and watched guys do it, either stalking her/us or another dancer. It can be fucking funny to watch, I guess most guys assume no one in a strip club is looking at them and they can do some funny shit. Conceptually its a bit disturbing to think someone is "stalking" someone right out in the open like that - think about it, if they're willing to do that kind of shit in public what kind of shit do they pull hiding behind a bush after they follow these girls home?

I handle the situation the same way GSW does. Every girl I talk with for more than a few minutes knows she's welcome to leave at any point, and that I genuinely won't hold it against her. I think one dancer has left me to spend time with another customer; he came they danced, she returned, he sat with another dancer.

On the other side of the situation I've again got a similar method to GSW. I'll let them know I'm there and wait a bit for her to come over - then move on one way or another.

I've never been approached by one of them, I'd almost welcome the opportunity to ask him what the fuck he is thinking. It's unlikely I'd shy away from a physical concentration or initiate one myself though. I leave the .45 in the truck when I go in, I forgot once and the poor dancer almost shit herself when she realized I wasn't just "Happy to see her"
avatar for Pete22z
Pete22z
13 years ago
To each his own. Like I said I've never had to deal with confrontations in the club. Clubbing is a hobby that I like to keep on the down low and isn't worth a violent confrontation to me and or the possible complications that could arise from that. If I have to defend myself then I'll deal with that when it happens, but it's a lot easier to avoid it to me. I could see getting into a fight over a girl I'm dating... but over a girl who sees me as part of her job, not likely.
avatar for mmdv26
mmdv26
13 years ago
Getting "blocked out" is part of the SC game. Most dancers understand this, and go out of their way to avoid it, but it still happens. I have voluntarily relinquished my time with a dancer in order to accommodate some douche bag...I mean customer. Funny how "I'm going to do 2 dances for this guy and then I'll be right back" turns into 45 minutes...or more.

It reinforces my belief that one should always keep a couple of balls in the air at the club. I've never received a discount because I was monogamous with a particular dancer. So, if one has trouble staying with me, I just move to another girl...and punish the one who allowed me to be "blocked-out" by not doing dances with her until she is ready to recognize my value...and give me a big discount to make amends.

There aren't very many dancers worth fighting over either. Not everybody recognizes that, and that is where the trouble can start. Situational awareness is critical in strip club parking lots after dark...for a lot of reasons.
avatar for 9thClient
9thClient
13 years ago
Pete - of course you are correct - there is no upside to most physical confrontations regardless of where they may occur. I'm almost entirely unconcerned with a physical confrontation ITC - I doubt it would happen during the weekday when, presumably, most people aren't wasted or totally ignorant. And I don't visit clubs in the hood. If my ATF is busy, I find an alternative or bail. I don't stalk around like a nut. I've never had a physical confrontation in any club and don't plan to start. I was just curious as to who else had experienced this kind of weirdness.
avatar for Stiletto25
Stiletto25
13 years ago
Many people talk about not getting violent, getting "blocked out" and finding another dancer, etc.. These are good ideas. There are customers though, I've had one in particular, who don't see finding another dancer or not getting emotional over one particular dancer an option. I am speaking in full honesty when I say this. This customer spent $1500 on me a week without fail for a year an a half. Three days of $500 dances. He honestly thought that the money he spent bought him rights to me. He.would be at the club when I arrived and walk up to my car to make sure "there weren't any guys in there". He wrote me checks for lap dances because he "wanted me to know his address". He had memorized my license plate. He didn't want a backup, he wanted me. I'm glad I got away from him.
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
13 years ago
mmdv26: "Funny how 'I'm going to do 2 dances for this guy and then I'll be right back' turns into 45 minutes...or more."

Because strippers lies about everything.
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