Advice for a Newbie

Hey guys...I'm a newbie to the SC scene, and have some questions. I thought it would be good to consolidate the answers to questions I think alot of us new SC-goers have.

1. I'm a pretty shy guy, I can't really bring myself to go up to a super hot topless girl and ask for a dance. If I go alone, and am sitting at a table, what are the chances a girl will come up and talk to me? I'm 24 (look like I'm 16 probably, so I usually play up the cute, shy card), and want to go alone so I can enjoy myself more...just want girls to come up to me I guess.

2. Do i have to tip if I'm not sitting at the stage (non-lapdances obviously)?

3. For lapdances, what is it ok to say? Is it ok to ask "Can I get a lapdance?", "How much do you charge?" "What can I do?", "Can i touch your tits?", etc? I just don't wanna seem lame since I don't know the lingo. And, do I tip on top of the $20ish dance fee?

4. If she's grinding on my crotch, is it cool with dancers if they make the customer cum? Or, if they get you close, can you go to the bathroom and finish the job? I just don't know the etiquette :P

5. Can I ask about HJs in plain language? Basically, what is it ok to say plain language?

6. Is it ok to tell them, "I'm new...what am I supposed to do, where can I put my hands, etc"?

Any other advice would be great!
Thanks!

24 comments

  • Dougster
    13 years ago
    If you want extras, yes, just ask in plain english, e.g. "Will you suck my dick?".

    They are going to sense you are a shy newbie at first though, so until you can lose that vibe you may get played around with (although probably not in the way you want to be played around with).
  • Doc_Holliday
    13 years ago
    1. If you go alone, girls WILL come up to you!! BUT... a) it may not be one you want b) could be hard to get rod of and c) could see a lone 'shy' guy as a mark and lie and con you out of more money than you want to spend. My suggestion is approach the girl you like and tip her. Don't worry; strippers are friendly to a tipper!!
  • Dougster
    13 years ago
    To elaborate a bit more the point you need to get is one where you go into a strip club knowing what you want (some whore to suck your dick after work OTC for a bit of cash) and you aren't willing to accept anything less, and you don't put out the vibe that you are willing to accept anything less. You also need to know who you are dealing: it's not nice college girls with bright futures they are looking forward to. Rather it's a bunch of stupid, lying, theiving whores.

    Those realizations may not happen at first though. Like many, you may go in trying to treat whores like normal women, and they will play games with you, extract money from you, and deliver as little as possible. That's what strip club have been designed for, and they have refined the art over decades. But us patrons we still have the advantage that ultimately you are dealing with whores and the economy is very bad right now. You can "win".

    The other alternative, is to say "look I'm 24, I'm not going to waste my time on this stupid shit" and go after some normal girls. Money is probably scarer to you now than it will be in later life anyway.
  • rell
    13 years ago
    ok heres some advice i can try to help
    #1.. chillout and have a good time
    #2if your shy let the dancers come to you ... if your going to ask for a lapdance be a gentlman ask her name greet her , then ask for a dance "may i have a dance" "can i have a dance' seem to work just fine .. if you dont know the lapdance price just simply say "hey im new here by the way" most dancers will get that and tell you how much a lapdance cost and will usualy do a rundown if there topless,nude etc..you dont have to tip on top of the lapdance.. if you feel that she was worth every penny of that lapdance and more than its your choice to tip... i generally dont
    #3. you dont HAVE to tip at all.. but a nice little tip if the dancer is working the pole good goes along way and sometimes gets attention of other dancers
    #4if you are about to cum.. most dancers dont care just tell her so shes not suprised .. most dancers will let you pop right there
    #5ok be careful when you start asking for extras .. matter fact since your new. i would say dont straight up ask for any extras.. let the dancer hint you on or let theflow go towards that..
    #6 last thing you want to do is set your own boundaries.. just get the lapdance. trust me a dancer will let you know once you start rooming that your hands arent suppose to be there by moving them
  • Doc_Holliday
    13 years ago
    In fact lose the shy guy attitude pronto! Unless you're a strong willed motherfucker, when a stripper has her hand on your cock an promising the world in the VIP, you'll be at the ATM spending your rent before you know it!! Be confident. Your paying these girls. They are independent contractors working for YOU. Tell her you interested, find the price, call the shots. You'll have a great time with a girl you like and be within your budget.
  • bigskrilla
    13 years ago
    Thanks for all the advice so far guys!

    One last question I forgot, what about kissing? Is that something you an ask for or just try?

    Thanks!!
  • rell
    13 years ago
    kissing?? lol id say you shouldnt kiss 80% of the strippers out there
  • gillydon
    13 years ago
    Whether dancers will come up and talk to you really varies by club. There are some clubs where every dancer will at some point come over and ask if you're interested, and there are clubs where dancers only sit by themselves or with people they know, and you have to approach them if you want anything. In general if you want to get the attention of a particular dancer, just sit by the stage during her stage routine, and tip a few dollars, which is easy enough to do even if you're shy.

    You generally only have to tip if you're sitting by the stage. If you're after conversation instead of dances and you're sitting with a dancer and chatting with her, sometimes the waitress will come over and ask if you'd like to buy the dancer a drink. If you buy the drink, that's the way you'd be tipping for the time of the girl sitting with you. If you're just sitting by yourself somewhere in the middle or back of the club and watching the stage show, you generally do not tip.

    Dancers will usually ask you if you want a dance, so you don't have to bring it up first. If you've never done one, you should ask what the prices are, where the dances are, etc, and any related general questions at that point. From reading the reviews on here, you can generally get a good sense of what you can touch and what you can't. If you ask the girl explicitly before the dance begins, that might be awkward because they might think you're law enforcement (especially if you're asking for a HJ or something illegal, unless you happen to be at a club where you know that's commonly done). Better just to get a dance, then see what her comfort level is during that dance, and if it doesn't meet what you're looking for, then end it after one dance instead of getting more.

    Instead of tipping for regular dances, you could just spend the money to buy more dances. The exception to this would be if at some point she explicitly agrees to do more or allow more in exchange for some amount of tip.

    If you cum from dancing, avoid getting any of it on the dancer.
  • Doc_Holliday
    13 years ago
    What dougie and said are true, most stippers are well tuned salesmen, some are down right crooks! But I disagree with Doug in that the same percentage of stripper that are 'bad' cons, thirds etc. are 'good' normal girls without options or just sleazy! :D Like rell said, be a gentleman with all of them at first, and if you are any kind of judge of character, you can tell pretty quickly you have a good dirty girl. Between dances, don't talk about thier personal lives, but talk! Girls, even pussy showing strippers, love to talk! Talk about thier jobs, talk about music, sex drugs and rock n' roll!!, talk about whatever they want to talk about, but talk, ask questions, and have fun!! You'll build a level of trust that will pay off for you with better service at an honest price. And if you get the slightest hint of dishonesty or misery, get what you want out of her, but get ready to ditch her before her gallons sink thier way into your wallet and God forbid heart!!
  • Doc_Holliday
    13 years ago
    corrections
    and *I* said
    St*r*ippers
    Cons *thieves*
    Her *talons*

    (posting from an iPhone)
  • troop
    13 years ago
    #1 when you're by yourself and you want to get their attention, stand up and look directly in the eyes of whichever one you want, point down to your crotch then grab your dick and simulate masturbation. she will rush right over and join you.
    #2 yes you should always tip them if they are talking to you. stick a couple dollars or better yet a five or a ten in her garter every minute or two so that she knows you're genuine.
    #3 take control, tell her you want a lapdance and you don't care about how much they are and that you're going to finger her pussy and ass. dancers love asertive take charge guys.
    #4 like number 3, take control, tell her that she has to make you cum and remind her that money is no object and you want lappers until she gets it done.
    #5 like 3 + 4, take control! take your dick out and tell her to jerk it.
    #6 yes always tell them that you're new and that you are willing to do anything that they want you to do to make the experience better for her and you don't care how much it's going to cost. you should have at least 200 cash in your pocket and perferably more. pull it out and show her and tell her that it's her for the taking.

    those are the rules to success, they work every time!

  • Doc_Holliday
    13 years ago
    Listen to troop. He gives the best advice. The only thing I'd add, is if you're with a dancer and need to go to the bathrooms, tell her you're going and ask her to join you then tell her you'll give her $5 for a golden shower. They're usually $10, but some girls will take 5. Be sure to tip the bathroom guy, too! He's in thier to clean up your mess...
  • steve229
    13 years ago
    "One last question I forgot, what about kissing?"

    KISSING? Now you've gone too far, newbie.
  • georgmicrodong
    13 years ago
    1. Not to put too fine a point on it, but get over that now. If you're not confident enough to ask for what what you want, and decline what you don't, just stay home. You're going to spend a lot of money without getting much in return. And you're going to bs stuck with the fuglies and ROBs. Learn to go to the ones you want, and to say no to the rest.

    2. Depends on the club. Generally, no, but some clubs have a "tip walk" where the girls walk the room after the dance. Some places and girls are aggressive abou that, some aren't. I tend to stay away from those places; it's *my* money, and if I don't want to give it up, I bloody well won't.

    3. It's OK to ask for a lap dance, that's generally what the girls are there for. As for the price and rules, just ask straight up, "how much for a dance" and "what are your rules". If you don't like either answer, walk away.

    4. Depends on the dancer, but from what I've seen, most aren't opposed to it, but at least want a warning. Finishing in the restroom? Only for losers. :)

    5. Generally speaking and depending on the club, yes, you can come right out and ask. Be prepared for "no" and immediate departure of the dancer, though, in those clubs where it's not a general practice. Also depending on the club, you might be expelled even for asking. Read the reviews of the clubs you want to go to, and try to figure out what will or won't fly. Ultimately, though, you're just gonna have to take the plunge or do without.

    6. No, don't tell them you're new. Unless you perfect the "shy" thing as an *act* and not reality.

    7. For whatever reason, many strippers don't want to kiss. And an illustration of why *you* might want to comes from something my favorite cocksucker did once. I go covered for everything, and on one occasion when I'd responded to her skills, she peeled the rubber off, turned it inside out on her finger, and proceeded to lick and suck my cum off of it Then offered to clean me off as well. Is that someone you'd want to kiss.




  • canny
    13 years ago
    Most clubs have video cameras recording everything that happens everywhere except the restrooms. Keep that in mind. Also, watch how many men don't wash their hands after they use the men's room and get dances where their hands go exactly where you want yours to go. Wash your hands after every dance that you get!
  • gatorfan
    13 years ago
    Just do it, do it
  • rh48hr
    13 years ago
    IMO, GMD has the best advice for your personality. Some of this is still going to be trial by fire for you, but the bottom line is, know what you want coming in, how far you are willing to go and how much you want to spend and don't go past that amount. Above all, that is the most important part. The dancers are very good at what they do and will make you want to spend more. Everyone has spent more than they wanted at least once or twice, but don't make it a habit.

    If you see someone you like, don't be afraid to go and talk to her. They then know you are interested and can make money which is why they are there. If someone you don't have an interest in asks for a dance, don't be afraid to say no thanks. They are used to that and won't be offended. Especially right when you get there. I have told dancers to come back, that I had just arrived and wanted to see what was available. On my last SC trip I did just that to a dancer I thought was hot, she came back later and we had a great time together. If you become a regular at a club, acting with some class will go well towards staff, waitresses, bouncers and dancers treating you right.
  • jackslash
    13 years ago
    To conserve your money, take only the amount of cash you are willing to spend in one night, like $200. Leave your credit and debit cards at home so you won't over-spend. When drunk and with a half-nude hottie, you may forget that you have other obligations like rent and car payments.

    If a dancer suggests some extras but the price is too high, tell her you only have $X to spend. The girls will usually agree.
  • newmark
    13 years ago
    There is some good advice in this thread. I will just add that most of the time when there is kissing, she initiates it. At least that has been my experience.
  • gatorfan
    13 years ago
    But remember to pull out your dick sends the right message
  • wwpmi
    13 years ago
    OMG, Troop is going to get you in jail and GMD finally answered #4. If I ever hit the john and found some dude wacking off I think I would stop mongering.
    For the love of god ("ftlg") if you have to jack off in a strip club you are either in the wrong state or in the wrong type of club.
    Sorry for the rant but if your around 24 and have money what the hell are you doing in a strip club, leave the clubs for us old guys with money.:) Just kidding kind of :)
    Best of luck and "relax just do it"
    (hint Frankie goes to hollywood.)
  • TABB
    13 years ago
    Best advice is from gatorfan.
  • 10inches
    13 years ago
    never had a problem with the girls not approaching me. just pull out a BIG stack of 20's and place them on the table and see how fast they flock to you !!!
  • cptndshon86
    13 years ago
    I'll give you my opinions to your questions in the same order.
    1. You won't have to go up to the dancers, because if you sit at a table or a chair, they will come to you, so you don't have to worry about the awkwardness of approaching a beautiful, half-naked dancer.
    2. If you're sitting at a table or in a chair (not at the stage) you don't have to tip. After a stage dance, the dancers might walk around to the patrons and ask for a tip, and if you want to, only a dollar or two will do, and you can put it between their thong and their skin. They're also known as 'dollar dances' because that's the most common bill that's tipped.
    3. You can say that you've never been there before so you don't know what the rates are. I would advise that you research prices on here for the club that you want to go to, as to have an expectation for what to spend. You can also ask "How much do you charge for dances?" or "what's on the menu for dances?" And yes, you tip on top of the dance fee. For couch dances, I would say $10ish is a good tip. For VIP dances, depending on the mileage, $20+
    4. In my couple of experiences where dancers took me to 'the point of no return,' I just blew in my shorts. The dancers were cool with it, thought it was cute. I've gotten better at it, and when I can feel it approaching that *point* I gently push the dancer away from that area, and say "hold on," and she gets it. If she gets you close, just push her away from your crotch, she will understand.
    5. As far as I'm concerned, it's crude to ask for extras in plain language. When they approach me, or sit with me, and after we begin talking about dance prices, either she will mention extras, or you can ask about extras.
    6. It IS okay for you to tell them that you're new. Tell them after they begin the dance, so they can't scalp you for more $$$. When the song starts, and she takes her heels off, just tell her that you're new at it and she'll treat you well :) Often times, I don't know how the dancers like to be touched, so I'll just touch their arms, legs, back and hair until they move so that I'm touching their breasts or their ass or whatever.

    Other advice, you DON'T have to buy drinks for the dancers. You can if you want to, but some clubs REALLY pressure you to buy drinks for the girls. If you're not interested in a dancer that approaches you, and if she asks if you want a dance, just tell her that you're still looking around, or if you're just not ready, ask her to come back after a while. If a dancer sits with you, and it's too loud, it's okay to ask her if she wants to move to a table, or to the bar to have better conversation. Converse with the dancers before you show interest in getting a dance. Knowing part of the woman's personality helps you two connect while she's dancing. Do what the bouncer says, if he says not hats, or no cell phones or no white T-shirts, just say 'i'll be right back' and take those things back to your vehicle. An important piece of advice is to clean up before you go to the club. Shave and shower, make yourself look nice and smell nice. Just as much as we hate stinky and trashy looking entertainers, they hate smelly and ugly PLs (pathetic losers). I'm 24 years old as well, so if you want any other advice from a like-minded guy, just message me. Happy hunting!
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