Has it happened to you, what was your reaction/how did you choose to deal with it? I've seen it countless times where a dancer is chatting with a patron when somebody else walks in (may be a regular, or maybe potential dollar signs lighted up in her eyes, dunno). I think the classy clubers make an exaggerated effort to walk over to the displaced stripper, place the drink in front of her and thank her for her time. Happened to me today. Entered one of my 2 fav clubs (day shift). Luck would have it, 3 dancers & 4 other customers. The 7 & 8 were already working on their customers and (of course) the 6 came over to me :-( ....its all about timing. She is a drink hogg and wanted tips. As she was encouraging me she let me know that she was "riding the cotton pony" but I could touch outside--my words not hers. I'm like ewwwwwww! Long story short, I buy her a third drink and she sees another bar regular enter so she takes the Corona (complete with lemon wedge) and says she'll b right back. Ordinarily I'd be pissed right now but she wasnt on my radar anyway. Thinking Im gonna use this encounter against her next time am in the club......fu*k no, Im not buying u a drink when you up and leave with it for somebody else. Mostly Im too nice to say stuff like that but will if it serves my purposes, oh well.
Yeah this sucks when a dancer walks off. It probably would tick me off a little bit too. I wouldn't tip her or get any more dances from her at least for the night maybe longer unless she made it up somehow.
I've been on the other end of that more often though. Some guy bought a dancer a drink, then a couple minutes later, maybe 4, she apparently excused herself and came over to my table where she sat and chatted with me sipping on her drink before eventually asking for a table dance.
it doesn't sound like you cared one way or the other that she left you. If you did than I'd have almost nothing to do with her OR guilt her into believing you were more upset than was the case (since it's a smaller club 3-4 girls?). I'd be pretty pissed if I had bought a girl three drinks and she juss up and left. The fact that you're a familiar face (perhaps?) may have dictated her reaction a bit.
Thanks for all the input. Thinking that basically this kind of stuff tends to annoy us somewhat. In my reported instance it was actually a kind of relief and I will used it against her, in future visits. Maybe it will keep her away. Chandler, it wasnt about the act of what she did, it was about how she treats her customers and what she should expect in return.
I guess that getting abandoned by a stripper (or not being able to get her to pay attention to me in the first place) bugs me mostly because I feel that the arrangement of a strip club is DELIBERATELY set up, so that I can "buy her affections." I've gone to the place in order to be able to have a more direct 1:1 relation between the effort and money I put out, and the attention I get, regardless of my "true" desirability as a "real" boyfriend (which, I fear to say, I probably lack). When something breaks that connection -- girls preferring to hang out with "cooler" young hot dudes, or when girls disappear to sit with regulars who aren't paying for dances, or when girls bypass me entirely and even when I "fetch" them they fail to follow through on their promise to visit -- then I wonder, WHY AM I IN A STRIP CLUB.
I know that in reality, nobody owns anyone else, and the idea of "owning" her time / affections is silly. But what I like about a club is that I can actually get a bit of reliability from a chick for a while. Girls who mess with this are oddly annoying to my sense of wellbeing. That's a nightclub / real-life game, the whole hard-to-get-is-better-than-easy-to-get double-reversal and dismissal crap. And the whole he's-not-cool-enough-for-me crap, that's for the real-life game. I go to a strip club to AVOID the real-life game.
Report her to the police. Abandonment is a serious crime. Taking possession of a Corona complete with lemon wedge might be considered an aggravating circumstance.
Happened to me twice that I recall with dancers who I knew fairly well. Once I was with a dancer when one of her best customers came in. She asked if I minded if she went to say a quick hello and I said of course not, that's what I expect her to do. She stood talking to him for a while, then he bought her a drink and she sat down with him. I left.
Another time I was with a dancer who returned from her stage set and said that a customer had asked her for a dance and did I mind if she did it? She went over and sat with him talking for a long time so I left. I don't wait very long for dancers.
If I'm with a girl when a good customer of hers comes in, I expect her to excuse herself to say hello to him, I'd expect her to do the same for me. But if she stays with him and doesn't return fairly soon, I'll leave or find another girl if there's one there who appeals to me.
First let me preface this with the fact that I am a jealous guy and I don't share my girls, while I'm at a club, unless we just aren't connecting.
I've only been abandoned once. She, at the time, was my #1, and we'd been that way for probably 6 months. I'd just visited her like three afternoons that week - every visit, she only left me to appear on stage or for a potty break, so we had somewhat of a connection going on. On the last day, business was slow so we were just sitting and chatting at my table. She went on stage, and when she returned she said that a guy really wanted "a dance or two", and wondered if it would be okay with me. NORMALLY, I'd have said, "no, it's not ok", but I figured she needed to make some money, so I said, "sure, but don't be too long". Well, she headed over to this guys table and sat down, proceding to have a smoke with him. Then they went to the dance area and had probably three dances (not that I was counting), after which she went to the dressing room. Anticipating her return, I bought her a fresh drink so that it'd be waiting for her. When she exited the dressing room, she went back to that table and sat down and again lit up a smoke. I sat there, just her fresh drink and I, for another 15-20 min. I decided that I'd given her sufficient time and she'd just pushed me past my limit. I stood, downed the last of my beer, and headed for the door. I made it a point to pass near their table on the way out, and also didn't give her a second look. That was the last day I ever spent time with, or money on her.
There are plenty of girls that appreciate me and show me that appreciation. Abandonment is not something that I just shrug off.
I would add: I personally wouldn't point it out to her. If she has a brain she will figure out, after you ignore her the next few times you see her.
After a sufficient time (several months) the incident was forgotten and I never brought it up. The dancer in question is not my favorite still, but I will get a dance now and then.
Along those same lines, if I enter a club and my girl is presently occupied. I make sure that she knows I'm there. It's implied that she should finish up with her current encumbrance in a timely manner, then spend the rest of the time with me.
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I've been on the other end of that more often though. Some guy bought a dancer a drink, then a couple minutes later, maybe 4, she apparently excused herself and came over to my table where she sat and chatted with me sipping on her drink before eventually asking for a table dance.
I know that in reality, nobody owns anyone else, and the idea of "owning" her time / affections is silly. But what I like about a club is that I can actually get a bit of reliability from a chick for a while. Girls who mess with this are oddly annoying to my sense of wellbeing. That's a nightclub / real-life game, the whole hard-to-get-is-better-than-easy-to-get double-reversal and dismissal crap. And the whole he's-not-cool-enough-for-me crap, that's for the real-life game. I go to a strip club to AVOID the real-life game.
Another time I was with a dancer who returned from her stage set and said that a customer had asked her for a dance and did I mind if she did it? She went over and sat with him talking for a long time so I left. I don't wait very long for dancers.
If I'm with a girl when a good customer of hers comes in, I expect her to excuse herself to say hello to him, I'd expect her to do the same for me. But if she stays with him and doesn't return fairly soon, I'll leave or find another girl if there's one there who appeals to me.
I've only been abandoned once. She, at the time, was my #1, and we'd been that way for probably 6 months. I'd just visited her like three afternoons that week - every visit, she only left me to appear on stage or for a potty break, so we had somewhat of a connection going on. On the last day, business was slow so we were just sitting and chatting at my table. She went on stage, and when she returned she said that a guy really wanted "a dance or two", and wondered if it would be okay with me. NORMALLY, I'd have said, "no, it's not ok", but I figured she needed to make some money, so I said, "sure, but don't be too long". Well, she headed over to this guys table and sat down, proceding to have a smoke with him. Then they went to the dance area and had probably three dances (not that I was counting), after which she went to the dressing room. Anticipating her return, I bought her a fresh drink so that it'd be waiting for her. When she exited the dressing room, she went back to that table and sat down and again lit up a smoke. I sat there, just her fresh drink and I, for another 15-20 min. I decided that I'd given her sufficient time and she'd just pushed me past my limit. I stood, downed the last of my beer, and headed for the door. I made it a point to pass near their table on the way out, and also didn't give her a second look. That was the last day I ever spent time with, or money on her.
There are plenty of girls that appreciate me and show me that appreciation. Abandonment is not something that I just shrug off.
After a sufficient time (several months) the incident was forgotten and I never brought it up. The dancer in question is not my favorite still, but I will get a dance now and then.
Money talks.
re: abandonment
"I'll be back" always translates to "I might not be back".
As soon as thay leave, bask in the afterglow (if any) and switch targets.
As always, YMMV.
Don't hate the players- learn the game.
DG
Along those same lines, if I enter a club and my girl is presently occupied. I make sure that she knows I'm there. It's implied that she should finish up with her current encumbrance in a timely manner, then spend the rest of the time with me.
Damn, I guess I really am a Whale and Girl Hog.