tuscl

Do you feel guilty when you turn down a dance

Lewis1975
Texas
I do. I know how bad rejection feels, and those girls are putting their naked selves out there for you. It's got to be tough to hear the "no thanks" from us customers.

Am I a soft-hearted guy? Yep. I wish I could buy a dance or two from every dancer that asks me. I would if I could.

31 comments

  • Dougster
    •
    14 years ago
    Lewis1975: "Do you feel guilty when you turn down a dance"

    Do you feel bad for Mercedes when you decide to buy a Jag instead? Never! If it was something I was going to feel bad about, it's because I thought I was missing a potentially very good experience, and then I would just buy the dance.
  • rockie
    •
    14 years ago
    I don't think I've every felt guilty in terms of turning down a dance. There are occasions where I wished I didn't have to do it so often, but it comes with the territory. I have regretted turning down a dance request, when the request comes from my best option on that visit - unbeknown to me at that time. I've recovered quite well from that mistake a couple of times recently.
  • uscue13
    •
    14 years ago
    Depends on if she was a "wanna dance" girl or spent some time talking first
  • Dudester
    •
    14 years ago
    Lewis1975: "Do you feel guilty when you turn down a dance"

    Look at it this way, when a cereal box at the grocery store is dented, it's marked down. Some clubs/strippers should think about "red label specials." Is a 50/60ish old wrinkled stripper worth 20 bucks a song ? How about some porker with acne who reeks of tuna ? How about my favorite trio of strippers-Tweaker, Shamu, and Ratso ?

    Not in my book.
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    14 years ago
    I've sometimes regretted not getting a dance, but for reasons of money, or on my way out of the club. I've never felt guilty about it, though. That would imply that I owed them an acceptance, a manifestly absurd notion. :)
  • vincemichaels
    •
    14 years ago
    NO !!
  • rickdugan
    •
    14 years ago
    No. Never.
  • SuperDude
    •
    14 years ago
    A part of the game for some dancers is to act or look hurt when rejected. They are playing on the customer's feelings about men always helping women in need or the view that some men will feel bad if rejecting the dancer hurts her feeling. We are in clubs to be entertained and that's it. For me, it's not entertaining to worry about a dancer who didn't get my money. I paid my dues when I was the only guy who would dance with fat ugly girls at chaparoned high school parties in the 1950s, because my parents told me their feelings would be hurt if I didn't. Through with that.
  • SuperDude
    •
    14 years ago
    The girls' feelings and my parents' disapproval were both at stake. UGH!
  • Gossage54
    •
    14 years ago
    I agree with uscue13. If she approaches me one minute after I arrive, puts her arm around me and says "come on baby, let's go for a dance" I don't feel bad at all about saying "No I'm good right now". If she's invested time hanging out and talking and seems pretty down to earth and cool I usually will give them a heads up and say something like "Hey just so you know I'm probably not getting a dance and I just don't want to hold you up, I know you need to make money and not sit around and talk". Something like that, most reasonable dancers will usually appreciate the honesty and the courtesy. Of course you don't want to make it sound like you're just trying to get rid of them so you can add "But of course you're more than welcome to stay and talk". Surprisingly if you're charming enough once in awhile they'll hang longer. It's also an interesting way of really cutting through the bullshit on some of the girls. Some are really better actresses than others. I can tell when they're totally trying to play me, some of the more shallow girls are just so transparent it's ridiculous. Then there are the ones that can really play off being genuine but when you give them the "don't want to hold you up" you see the mask come off and like a light switch they reach for their drink and mutter something like "OK I'll be back" and walk off ignoring you the rest of the night. Then there are the ones that might still stay and talk or come back and hang out during some downtime again knowing you're not going to get a dance. Or add the fourth installment the ones that will come back all bubbly but throw out "so you've been here drinking awhile. You think you're ready now?..." All while rubbing your back etc..
  • dudeanonymous
    •
    14 years ago
    Sometimes, when I perceive what I take for genuine hurt from her. I will occasionally tip for a conversation if I'm not getting a dance from the one I've just rejected, especially if she's made an effort and tried to honestly engage me. Time is money, so if I've taken up a significant chunk of her time....
  • samsung1
    •
    14 years ago
    HELL NO!!!!!
    sometimes I admit I used to get a soft heart if a gal was sitting with me and having a stimulating conversation but was too low mileage or ugly for me.
  • Lewis1975
    •
    14 years ago
    GM: A manifestly absurd notion? I'm writing that down. You've got a way with words.
  • vincemichaels
    •
    14 years ago
    I agree, Lewis1975 with your comment about george's comment. I felt much the same when I first read it.
  • lopaw
    •
    14 years ago
    The only time I ever felt kinda bad was when an obviously painfully shy dancer approached me after sitting alone by herself for most of the evening. She just wasn't my type, so I politely turned down her request. It must have taken all of her nerve to even come over to ask me. After my rejection, she went back to her lonely little corner of the room. I did feel bad for her.
  • bumrubber
    •
    14 years ago
    If you're really not interested, it's better to turn them down than to put them off with "maybe later," etc.

    The problem is, when you turn one of them down, they think you're not interested in dances AT ALL. Word gets around, then all the girls avoid you.

    So I'm back to "maybe later"...

    I feel bad for the shy girls sometimes too, but geez, if they can't take that in this business...

    Anyway, I've bought a few sympathy dances. All of them sucked but one, which turned out to be pretty good!

  • mmdv26
    •
    14 years ago
    She: "Wanna dance?"
    Me: "Not right now, but maybe later."
    She: "Yeah, I bet. You just don't wanna dance with me!"
    Me: "no, really...check back with me after while".
    Me: (thinking)"like maybe next month."

    I usually don't get dances from girls who are bigger than I am, but who knows, I might get very drunk and change my policy on that.

    If I'm not going to be dancing that night, I will say that right up front with all comers, otherwise, I believe that all doors should be left ajar.
  • Clubber
    •
    14 years ago
    Somewhat, but not enough to care.
  • shadowcat
    •
    14 years ago
    Only if I find out later that I passed up a good cheap BJ.
  • someyoungguysomeyoungguy
    •
    14 years ago
    Actually, I do. Not all the time; I think I've developed a certain "Blink"-type sense of which dancers are ROB's and which are genuinely going to try and give you something for the money you're giving them. But it's because of the latter I feel bad for for not having a job that pays $75k.
  • mikeya02
    •
    14 years ago
    Not really, but I,m amazed how insecure beautiful girls can be. I guess they do feel bad when they flirt with a guy for 20 minutes and he turns her down. They really don't have anything to do except compare how many vip dances they are all getting.
  • mikeya02
    •
    14 years ago
    Oh, one girl gave me back 20 dollars out of the money I gave her and asked me to have a dance with her friend. She felt bad no body was giving her dances. I did and the girl was real happy.
  • mjx01
    •
    14 years ago
    In general no, but there are exceptions to the rule. For example, there is one girl at the club were I'm a regular. I'm on a budget. After I'm done spending on my ATF, oh well.
  • qweasdzxc
    •
    14 years ago
    yes most of the time i will feel kinda bad, its just because they arent my type, but i still feel bad. if i had more money i would maybe consider but u always need a set budget. its your money make it worth it.
  • gatorfan
    •
    14 years ago
    No. Do srippers feel bad when they give a shitty dance.
  • SuperDude
    •
    14 years ago
    Remember, they will hang around for the convo tip, even after you politely hint that you are not buying a dance. This convo tip is just a way of guilt tripping the customer to give up money. If you didn't ask her stay and talk and, more importantly, you said you understood that she had to move on to other customers, why should you pay anything to someone trying to use guilt to shake you down for money?
  • farmerart
    •
    14 years ago
    Having been in business for 45 years, I have a fairly intimate relationship with rejection. I feel absolutely no guilt when rejecting a pitch for lap dances from unappealing dancers. To particularly insistent girls I will flat out say: 'GO AWAY'.
  • jepello
    •
    14 years ago
    Feel guilty? Not in the least. Why should I? I'm a paying customer and will spend my money on the dancer(s) that I like best during that particular visit. Nothing personal, it's business. I'm always polite about it though. I don't come into a SC to hand out money to every stripper that asks, I come in hoping to find either a favorite or a couple exceptionally hot dancers to spend my money on. Convo tip? Only if I asked her to sit with me (which means I really think I want you to dance for me) and actually had stimulating conversation, even then I think the tip would come with the dance that follows.
  • jackslash
    •
    14 years ago
    I feel bad and I try to turn them down politely. In the past I would sometimes buy a dance out of pity, but I'm not made of money. Maybe I should wear a sign that says "No small boobs need apply."
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    14 years ago
    Lewis/VM: Glad I'm entertaining *somebody*. :)
  • dw.buck
    •
    14 years ago
    nope i dont feel bad
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