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Don't touch my junk!

SuperDude
Detroit, Michigan
Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down
November 21, 2010 by Dead Serious News · Leave a Comment

A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.

According to Cummings' partner, Sergio Armani, Cummings has “multiple piercings on his manhood” which were detected during a full body scan. As a result, Cummings was pulled aside for a pat-down. Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent “an inordinate amount of time groping” Cummings, who had apparently become sexually aroused. Cummings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent's hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up. Cummings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.

A TSA spokesperson declined to comment on this specifc case, but said that anyone ejaculating during a pat-down would be subject to arrest.

9 comments

Latest

troop
•
14 years ago
YUCK!

i'd rather talk about your hot chick avatar! ;)
georgmicrodong
•
14 years ago
He should sue TSA for sexual assault. I know a couple lawyers whou would take that case in an instant. :)
newmark
•
14 years ago
This can't be a real story. His name is Cumminngs. That can't be a coincidence.
vincemichaels
•
14 years ago
EWWWWW, good job dude!!! Serves the TSA right for violating our persons!! Fucking TSA!!
txtittyfan
•
14 years ago
TSA is out of control. Everything that happened hear was caused by the TSA agent. Did the guy really need backup?
Prim0
•
14 years ago
I could see how this could happen to some individuals. There have to be men out there who prematurely ejaculate if the wind blows wrong (only ever happened to me once in a very STIMULATING situation and early in my youth) but there's a reason there are lots of products out there for issues like this.

I don't understand the arrest...if someone is ticklish and pees their pants or breaks wind during a pat down, is it their fault? Is that also an arrestable offense? Will women be held to the same standard, what if some woman has an orgasm during a pat down...will she be arrested?
EarlTee
•
14 years ago
The story is fake but the issues raised and our anger over them is real.
Alucard
•
14 years ago
This kind of action by the TSA is one reason why I DON'T fly any longer!
ztrzi2000
•
14 years ago
I had never heard of Dead Serious News before, so I was not aware it was a fake news site, but after checking it out, I am pretty sure that it is as fake as the Onion. After all, they have an article that WikiLeaks is going to release thousands of documents concerning the Cummings arrest. Ha ha.

At first, I was angry at TSA. Now that I know the story was fake, I am just embarrassed that I believed it for a whole minute.
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