A nugget of humor...maybe
Prim0
Ohio
In the shower this morning I had some thoughts that struck me as somewhat funny. Perhaps you fellow TUSCLers could complete it...
A wife's cooking is kinda like her abilities in bed:
If she's a bad cook...
1. You might go out for fast food = Visit an SC for some LDs
2. You might go to a decent sitdown restaurant = Go to an AMP
- You might have a nice desert = happy ending
3. Treat yourself to a multi course meal at a fine establishment = See a good escort.
4. You might cook for yourself = masturbation.
5. You might go eat your friend's wife's cooking = Cheating or MMF?
6. You might eat at your parents for some home cooking = Incest?
7. You might just have to go hungry = Celibacy
I'm sure there are many more....add something or improve it if you want.
Thanks,
Prim0
A wife's cooking is kinda like her abilities in bed:
If she's a bad cook...
1. You might go out for fast food = Visit an SC for some LDs
2. You might go to a decent sitdown restaurant = Go to an AMP
- You might have a nice desert = happy ending
3. Treat yourself to a multi course meal at a fine establishment = See a good escort.
4. You might cook for yourself = masturbation.
5. You might go eat your friend's wife's cooking = Cheating or MMF?
6. You might eat at your parents for some home cooking = Incest?
7. You might just have to go hungry = Celibacy
I'm sure there are many more....add something or improve it if you want.
Thanks,
Prim0
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4 comments
I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
It gives my mother something to live for.
I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss America.
It didn't seem worth a blood test.
I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
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Soon after being transferred to a new duty station, my Marine husband called home to tell me he would be late – again. He went on to say that dirty magazines had been discovered in the platoon’s quarters and they had to police the area.
I launched into a tirade, arguing that many men had pictures hanging in their quarters at our previous post, so his new platoon should not be penalized for something trivial.
My husband calmly listened to my gripes and then explained, “Kathy, Dirty Magazines means the clips from their rifles had not been properly cleaned.â€
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Like any mother, I worried when my son joined the Marines. But later on, when I asked him how things were going, he put my mind at ease.
"Let me put it this way, Mom," he said. "Living with you prepared me for boot camp."
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My wife, Dolores, never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she called the orderly room and asked to speak with me. The person who answered told her to call me at the extension in the band rehearsal hall. "He can be reached at 4700, ma'am," the soldier advised.
With a sigh of exasperation, my wife responded, "And just what time is that?"
As soon as the first dancer walked out, the guy directly behind him yelled, "Yeah baby! That's what I've been waiting for!"
The man in the front row turned around and gave him a dirty look. A few minutes into the show, the dancer did a move and snatched off her top, revealing two pasties. The guy behind our friend goes off again. "Yeah baby! Shake those things."
Our friend turned around and said, "Hey buddy, calm down!" After a few moments, the dancer did another move, and snatched off her dress, revealing a very thin G-string. Again the man behind our friend yelled out, "Oh baby! You're almost there!" Our friend again turned around and said, "Hey buddy, shut the hell up, will ya!"
A few minutes later, the dancer stretched out on the floor and snatched off both the pasties and the G-string, and the whole club went wild, except for the man behind our friend. Curious, our friend turned around and asked, "Say buddy, where's your enthusiasm now?"
The guy responded, "It's all over your back, dude."
I prefer Burger King over eating at a strip club. The strip clubs I have ate at ranked in terms of quality:
1. Kahoot's
2. Cheeks (I think I might have got sick from eating here one time but other times it was good...and it is free with a tip jar sitting on the counter)
3. Cols Gold (only serves food on friday/saturday dayshift but it's free)
4. Dreamgirls
5. Club X (used to have a free buffet for parties and the only thing I would eat is the bread rolls)