At first I thought it was a just freak thing that was a coincidence, but I can't tell you on how many occassions I've spent a lot of money on a dancer(private lap dance), then when I'd come into the club a few weeks later, the same girls that I've spent money on by getting private dances, will just ignore me and won't come up to me. I practice good hygiene(don't smell bad or have bad breath), I'm a good-looking guy, am not an a**hole to the dancers, am not a weirdo, creep or stalker, etc., etc., yet this seems to keep happening with a lot of the girls. I'm really confused. I've spent a large amount of $$$ on these women, only to be ignored. One girl in particular I spend like $700 in dances one night, and now whenever I come into the club she ignores me. ???
*Note*: this doesn't happen with every girl, but it happens a lot. I know this is not a case of them not recognizing me, because I know they do recognize me(it wasn't that long at all since they last seen me).
Here in Ohio, the Dayton/Southern Ohio dancers are more respectful than the ones in the central and northern part of state. Southern hospitality kind of thing I guess.
They meet hundreds of guys in a given shift. All the names and faces blur together. Don't take it personally. Plus, deep down they could care less about you. They think, "I just hustled some dumbass out of 700 bucks" not "Riv is such a sweet guy, I can't want until his next visit". Also, take into account many strippers are on drugs and drink heavily. Your situation has happened at some time or another to every seasoned clubber in the hobby.
FYI: There are only a couple dancers that post on here. 99% of the people on the discussion board are clubbers.
Sinclair, I don't expect them to like me for being a cool guy, I just expect them to come up to me and ask me for dances. You'd think since I've spent large amounts of money on them for private dances in the past, that they'd come over to me the next time I came in to try and make MORE money. But apparently they could care less about making money off of me.
Maybe they sense that you are needy. Despite the fact that this is a stripclub and not "Real life" some women carry their real life attitude into the club. If they are good looking then they are probably use to guys chasing after them. Furthermore, if they are a good money maker at the club then they don't have to haggle men for money. With their good looks they know their will always be a desparate guy wanting affection. Seems like you may be picking dancers who think a little too highly of themselves.
I dunno. That's weird. With the economy still so crappy, IMO dancers are more desperate and willing to approach just about anybody nowadays. It's hard to believe that anyone forking out decent coin to these women will be completely ignored the next time they visit. All I know is that in the clubs I frequent, once you start spending any kind of cash on a dancer you'll never get rid of her the next time you walk into that club. It can become a real headache if you're not interested in making her your new ATF, and just want to play the field. I guess it would be the exact opposite problem from what the OP has.
Riv- I know you wrote that you're not creepy or stalking or anything.....but are you sure that you aren't giving off some kind of vibe that is turning the dancers off?
Lopaw, 110% positive I'm not giving off any negative vibe. Unless I'm not aware of something, but I highly, highly doubt that, as I'm very analytical about myself.
Riv, for fun next time sit at the stage and tip out the $1s. That should tweak the interest meter, especially since you'd been a big spender priorly and singles do little to satiate the dancer diet. If they want more they can engage you after they get off stage. Otherwise, well at least you have a cheap night out at the club!
I hate to say this, but Lopaw's/mmdv26's problem is much more common. I've probably had girls I dropped money on not talk when I next visited, but I can't remember any because it is almost always the opposite.
Unfortunately, the opposite problem of being immediately approached sometimes involves a girl I gave a whirl despite not being that attracted (hoping the private would be better than I expected) or a girl that ended up not being that good in private.
Could be the town or the club. Or a vibe -- maybe not negative, but they might be interpreting your vibe in a way you don't intend.
I can't recall anything like that ever happening to me. Usually it is the complete opposite. They won't leave you alone and prevent interaction with any other dancer.
Sounds like a BS post to me. If you spend alot of money on a stripper she'll remember you next time you are in. Doesn't even need to be alot. $200 works plenty good.
Baffling case as you lay it out. (If you spent $700 in one night on any dancer I know, you would have to surgically remove her hand from your wallet the next time you visited the club). Appears we are missing a piece of the puzzle. Just what went on in those private dances anyway?
"Data, data, data. I cannot make bricks without clay."
--Sherlock Holmes
I spend much less than that and I am remembered easily. I have 3-4 girls in my favorite club who I do not have dance for me, come up and ask me what is going on "Bob", how you doing "Bob"? I find it hard to believe after $700 they dont remember you. I would forget them and find another who will.
Were you a giant jerk in the private dance? There's a guy at a local club that no one but the new dancers will willingly take in the VIP, even though he brings money. Even the extras girls avoid him unless they are desperate.
Like lopaw and many here, it's usually the opposite experience, but yeah it happens to all of us for a variety of reasons. If they don't want your money, too bad for them, there's plenty of fine dancers to get dances from
If you're being "IGNORED" by a Dancer you want to be with, go up to her & ASK for some dances. Some Men seem to very strongly believe that asking a dancer for dances is that they will NEVER do as it is against their manhood or something. I think they're being foolish! GO ASK!
I agree with many here - damn puzzling. In some of the clubs I frequent I need a bat to beat off girls that I have spent a lot less than $700 on.
Steve and lopaw are right - there is a missing piece of the puzzle here.
I don't agree with Aluc about chasing the girl. Either she remembered you and steered clear anyway of she just did not remember. Either way she has blown it in my book. I don't reward stupidity - unless of course it is a dumb girl I convinced to do bad things with me ;)
Unless they don't particularly like dancing for your "type" (young, old, minority, etc), I don't see why they would ignore. Whenever I get more than a few dances from someone, it doesn't matter if its the next day or a month later, they remember the $$ if they remember you.
Someone mentioned earlier that they see hundreds of guys and can't remember everyone. Unless it's Mons Venus or somewhere in NYC or such, they remember customers that leave an impression. If you buy one or two dances, no they probably won't remember you as time goes by, but if you spend $700 they remember you.
The guy is lucky anyone responded at all with a question like that for his first post. Plus, if he'd been reading the forums before he posted it would have been obvious this board isn't a dancer forum.
I know this sounds strange and baffling, because it most certainly is, that's why I'm pulling my hair out over it. The chick I spent about $700 on was soooo into the dance; she was telling me to cum, to pretend like I was f*cking her in the ass, wanted to experiment in different dry humping positions; it was crazy. She even made a statement to me that she wanted to work out a financial arrangement with me where I'd take care of her financially in exchange for sex. She alluded to that in a round-about way it seemed, but I wasn't quite sure if that was what she meant. I can't remember her exact choice of words. Then before the private dance was over, I suggested we exchange phone numbers. She took mine down, but didn't want to give me hers. I found it a little weird, after it was her who hinted she wanted to have that financial arrangement with me. Then after that, the next time I came into the club, she seen me, she said "hi" from a distance, but didn't want to come up to me. Whenever I come to the club, she ignores me.
Then there's this other chick; again, it's gonna be hard for you all to believe, but she ended up giving me a few FREE regular dances at her own will(even had no qualms about stroking my d*ck through the pants. but the next time I came into the club, she ignored me. So, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and called her over for a private dance $100 for 15 minutes. She gave me the dance and again had no qualms about stroking my dick through my pants. By this time, this chick CLEARLY has to know who I am. So, I go to this other club that I had no clue about her dancing there. She's talking to her friend at the other end of the bar when I walk in. She clearly see's me, but ignores me. Then I see her mumbling something to her friend, looking in my direction, as if she was talking crap about me. I'm saying to myself, "What the hell's up with this chick, I never said or did anything to her?" She never ended up coming over. Totally weird. The only thing I can think of, if anything, that might have bothered her, was suggesting she grab my d*ck in the last dance. But if that in fact was the thing that bothered her, then she should have never did it in my last two other dances with her. She wasn't forced, she could have said "no", and I would've been cool with it. Weird, weird, weird, is all I could say.
Again, theses 2 dancers are just a few examples of the handful that ignore me, after spending a lot of money on private dances with them. But then yet at the same time, I'll have dancers I've spent a lot of money on who won't ignore me. I just can't figure it out. I've had 2 hot dancers in the past pull my d*ck out and start jerking me. Most of the time, everytime I get a dance, the dancers will grab my dick through the pants. I get that a lot. I don't know if that's a common thing at all. Anyhow, so yeah, it's very bizarre that I'm being ignored by a lot of dancers the next time they see me around, when I know they most certainly recognize me.
As far as I can recall, this has happened to me once. I had had a great time with a dancer one evening: drinks, multiple LDs, about 4 hours and a couple hundred dollars total. I came in a few evenings later and she wouldn't even acknowledge my existence. I asked another dancer about it, and it turned out she had a regular there that night off in a dark corner. Since I was out of town and obviously not repeat business, she felt safe in ignoring me for the night.
But most of the time it is the opposite: walk into a SC you haven't been to in months, and the girl who gave you the last lame LD during your previous visit latches on to you, remembers your name, asks why you haven't called even when you tossed her number when you left, and has a hard time getting the hint you aren't going to give her any repeat business.
Riv, you must be throwing off a needy or weird vibe - you are on this board. Those latina and Russian chicks in the Queens clubs smell money from 300 feet away. I have practically had to mace a few to get them to go away.
Shit, if you like latina meat (and I very much do) $400 will get you good takeout in some of those Queens dives.
RickDugan, if you mean by "needy" that I'm looking to bond with these chicks on some kind of emotional type level or something, then you couldn't be further off the mark. I do however get really into the dances. But what guy doesn't? I definitely show that I'm enjoying the dance; I get hard, etc. It feels great, I really enjoy the moment. But again, what guy doesn't when some smokin' hot chick is rubbing her body all over his crotch? I couldn't see how this would be an issue though, afterall, again, what do the expect when they're giving guys lap dances.
As far as giving off a weird vibe, I can't see anything that I could possibly be doing that is so bad that would make them go to such an extent as to ignore me(I can't find anything at all. I really wish I could find something). I mean, someone would have to be behaving really "out there" for me to avoid that person. And I would think dancers would be thinking along those same lines too. If I was so weird or needy, then why would a lot of these dancers grab my dick through my pants, let me suck on their necks, why would that one dancers that I spent about $600 on, suggest we maintain some kind of financial sex for money relationship. Why would she keep insisting I cum also during the dance? Really, if I was projecting such a weird vibe, or if I was so needy, why go this far with me? Doesn't make sense. Plus, I know I'm a perfectly normal dude. I have a good social life, have many friends, etc.
Rick, you also mention "toughening up", lol. Bro, I'm one of the most non-chumpish guys you'll ever meet when it comes to dealing with women. I always stand my ground and don't kiss ass at all, and don't supplicate like a lot of guys do. Not a push over by any stretch. I'm a total "wham bam thank you mam" type of guy. That's not to say that I'm a dick to women either or am not nice; I'm just not your average chumpish pushover.
if I spent $700 on a dancer on one session (which I've never done, my max has been $600 once), pretty sure she would recognize and approach immediately next time I came in..your experience is definitely out of the norm
@Riv: All I can do is work with the information that you have provided, which boils down to the following:
1. Strippers in Queens, who are among the most money hungry bitches I have ever met (and I travel the country) won't give you the time of day after you blew $700; and
2. You seem really worked up about #1 above.
Don't get me wrong, if the girl doesn't like you, your vibe, whatever then fuck her. But the fact that you are having this problem baffles me.
I guess you just need to move on to the ones that like your money. Hell, for far less than $700 you should be able to get some nice takeout, so I'm not sure why you would spend $700 in a Queens club anyway.
Plain and simple they see you as a "square". #1 stripper sold you alot of Stripper shit to get you to keep paying money during the Private dances. I could be wrong but these girls sound kind of "Ghetto" to me. You are probably the total opposite from the type of guys or people in general they associate with outside the club.
Females like the ones you have mentioned will either try to milk you dry or will not want to have anything to do with you period. My advice is to stop going to these clubs and find some dancers with better class.
Jpac, I disagree a bit with the theory that he should go someplace else. With the right attitude he could have a great time in some of these joints.
A lot of these girls are HOT and don't spew a lot of the horse shit that you find in Manhattan clubs. This makes these clubs a lot of fun and, as I previously mentioned, takeout with a hot piece of ass is available from some of the Queens clubs.
Of course, some of these girls are also tough and smart and will clean you out if they can. This is why I suggested that he change his frame of mind, pull up the ol' pants, and go in with the right attitude.
I don't know about the clubs in the NY area Rick but I agree with you that he needs to change his attitude. Don't be so quick to spend all that money the 1st time you meet a dancer. I don't have 700dollars to drop @ a stripclub but if I did it would have been over a period of months and not the 1st or 2nd meeting.
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Here in Ohio, the Dayton/Southern Ohio dancers are more respectful than the ones in the central and northern part of state. Southern hospitality kind of thing I guess.
FYI: There are only a couple dancers that post on here. 99% of the people on the discussion board are clubbers.
Riv- I know you wrote that you're not creepy or stalking or anything.....but are you sure that you aren't giving off some kind of vibe that is turning the dancers off?
Unfortunately, the opposite problem of being immediately approached sometimes involves a girl I gave a whirl despite not being that attracted (hoping the private would be better than I expected) or a girl that ended up not being that good in private.
Could be the town or the club. Or a vibe -- maybe not negative, but they might be interpreting your vibe in a way you don't intend.
"Data, data, data. I cannot make bricks without clay."
--Sherlock Holmes
You could also try to space out your visits and spend $700 over a total of 3 or 4 visits instead of all in one night.
Steve and lopaw are right - there is a missing piece of the puzzle here.
I don't agree with Aluc about chasing the girl. Either she remembered you and steered clear anyway of she just did not remember. Either way she has blown it in my book. I don't reward stupidity - unless of course it is a dumb girl I convinced to do bad things with me ;)
Someone mentioned earlier that they see hundreds of guys and can't remember everyone. Unless it's Mons Venus or somewhere in NYC or such, they remember customers that leave an impression. If you buy one or two dances, no they probably won't remember you as time goes by, but if you spend $700 they remember you.
Then there's this other chick; again, it's gonna be hard for you all to believe, but she ended up giving me a few FREE regular dances at her own will(even had no qualms about stroking my d*ck through the pants. but the next time I came into the club, she ignored me. So, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and called her over for a private dance $100 for 15 minutes. She gave me the dance and again had no qualms about stroking my dick through my pants. By this time, this chick CLEARLY has to know who I am. So, I go to this other club that I had no clue about her dancing there. She's talking to her friend at the other end of the bar when I walk in. She clearly see's me, but ignores me. Then I see her mumbling something to her friend, looking in my direction, as if she was talking crap about me. I'm saying to myself, "What the hell's up with this chick, I never said or did anything to her?" She never ended up coming over. Totally weird. The only thing I can think of, if anything, that might have bothered her, was suggesting she grab my d*ck in the last dance. But if that in fact was the thing that bothered her, then she should have never did it in my last two other dances with her. She wasn't forced, she could have said "no", and I would've been cool with it. Weird, weird, weird, is all I could say.
Again, theses 2 dancers are just a few examples of the handful that ignore me, after spending a lot of money on private dances with them. But then yet at the same time, I'll have dancers I've spent a lot of money on who won't ignore me. I just can't figure it out. I've had 2 hot dancers in the past pull my d*ck out and start jerking me. Most of the time, everytime I get a dance, the dancers will grab my dick through the pants. I get that a lot. I don't know if that's a common thing at all. Anyhow, so yeah, it's very bizarre that I'm being ignored by a lot of dancers the next time they see me around, when I know they most certainly recognize me.
But most of the time it is the opposite: walk into a SC you haven't been to in months, and the girl who gave you the last lame LD during your previous visit latches on to you, remembers your name, asks why you haven't called even when you tossed her number when you left, and has a hard time getting the hint you aren't going to give her any repeat business.
Shit, if you like latina meat (and I very much do) $400 will get you good takeout in some of those Queens dives.
You might need to toughen up a bit.
As far as giving off a weird vibe, I can't see anything that I could possibly be doing that is so bad that would make them go to such an extent as to ignore me(I can't find anything at all. I really wish I could find something). I mean, someone would have to be behaving really "out there" for me to avoid that person. And I would think dancers would be thinking along those same lines too. If I was so weird or needy, then why would a lot of these dancers grab my dick through my pants, let me suck on their necks, why would that one dancers that I spent about $600 on, suggest we maintain some kind of financial sex for money relationship. Why would she keep insisting I cum also during the dance? Really, if I was projecting such a weird vibe, or if I was so needy, why go this far with me? Doesn't make sense. Plus, I know I'm a perfectly normal dude. I have a good social life, have many friends, etc.
Might be a good call on your part. :)
1. Strippers in Queens, who are among the most money hungry bitches I have ever met (and I travel the country) won't give you the time of day after you blew $700; and
2. You seem really worked up about #1 above.
Don't get me wrong, if the girl doesn't like you, your vibe, whatever then fuck her. But the fact that you are having this problem baffles me.
I guess you just need to move on to the ones that like your money. Hell, for far less than $700 you should be able to get some nice takeout, so I'm not sure why you would spend $700 in a Queens club anyway.
Females like the ones you have mentioned will either try to milk you dry or will not want to have anything to do with you period. My advice is to stop going to these clubs and find some dancers with better class.
A lot of these girls are HOT and don't spew a lot of the horse shit that you find in Manhattan clubs. This makes these clubs a lot of fun and, as I previously mentioned, takeout with a hot piece of ass is available from some of the Queens clubs.
Of course, some of these girls are also tough and smart and will clean you out if they can. This is why I suggested that he change his frame of mind, pull up the ol' pants, and go in with the right attitude.