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too much too soon?

avatar for DickJohnson
DickJohnson
Illinois
i recently met a stripper and fell in love. She says she loves me too. She says that since we are in love then I need to stop by the club every day, which i do, and i usually spend at least 200-400 dollars each time. She says that if i dont stop in then i am really not in love and she wants somebody to love her. Now she wants to move in and has said we should get joint checking accounts and put everything together. She has also said we can wait til we are married to have sex because she is a good church girl and she has always felt that way. I dont like how she has cut me off from my family and makes my dog corky sleep in the garage now. Corky growls whenever he sees her and he likes everybody.

21 comments

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avatar for SuperDude
SuperDude
•
15 years ago
DickJohnson is at it again.
avatar for samsung1
samsung1
•
15 years ago
based on a true story
avatar for potheadpl
potheadpl
•
15 years ago
The heart wants what the heart wants. LOL!
avatar for earlyriser60609
earlyriser60609
•
15 years ago
That is the sweetest story I've heard...best wishes to the bride and groom.
avatar for Philip A. Stein
Philip A. Stein
•
15 years ago
Do you love her or not? Are you all in? Shit or get off the pot, don't let life pass you by. True love like this is fleeting, don't be left wondering what might have been.
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
•
15 years ago
Dick, It's almost Valentines Day propose to her in the Champagne Room!!
avatar for steve229
steve229
•
15 years ago
Dick - don't be a er, dick. You are being played. Stop listening to these romantic fools
and drop her fast. Where the hell is Dougster when we need him?

Now if you excuse me I have to finish picking out my Baby's Valentine's Day gift.
If I play my cards right I think I 'm going get a kiss on the lips!
avatar for Philip A. Stein
Philip A. Stein
•
15 years ago
Dick, you listen to Steve229 and you will end up being Steve230. Its rare that a man gets a chance to close the marriage deal with and ATF.
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
•
15 years ago
I wonder if the 229 in steve229 is a leap year reference? 2-29?
avatar for CTQWERTY
CTQWERTY
•
15 years ago
Joint checking accounts? Why not put her name on the house and car titles? That way she can feel "pride of ownership" and be spurned on to help out a little more around the homestead.

P.S. Make sure to grant her "power of attorney" too. I'm sure she'll make the right decision when and if to "pull the plug."
avatar for RickWood
RickWood
•
15 years ago
Nah, I think the real problem here is that Corky is mad that some chick has taken over his place, and he isn't getting the satisfaction Dick had been providing.
avatar for DickJohnson
DickJohnson
•
15 years ago
I kinda rely on my dog corky to weed out the ones who arent right for me...so I don't know what to think. The other day I found her putting something in corkys dog food bowl and it looked kinda suspicious, she said it was some vitamins. Now she says its either corky or her, that i give too much attention to corky. What should I do?
avatar for imnumnutz
imnumnutz
•
15 years ago
dick, u r such a tool...
avatar for Vegeta1on1
Vegeta1on1
•
15 years ago
If its come to a choice- choose the Miller-Lite.
avatar for steve229
steve229
•
15 years ago
Future Dick Johnson post:

Hey guys, thanks for all your support. Six weeks of wedded bliss now. Me and the missus still haven’t done it yet (she says she’s not quite ready), but hey, marriage is about more than sex, right? I got a little worried the other day when I came home from work early and this young fellow was just leaving, but she explained it was her brother. Funny, I could have sworn she told me she was an only child. Still no sign of Corky; damn, I miss that dog. Well, I’m signing off now because I have to call the bank – I tried to get some cash out at the ATM and it said our joint checking account was overdrawn – I just got paid, so it must be some bank error.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
•
15 years ago
$1400 - $2800 a week on her at the club? What a cheap bastard!
avatar for dale38
dale38
•
15 years ago
Dick,I think you can get her to put out if you simply make her the beneficiary of a generous life insurance policy.
avatar for now_starring
now_starring
•
15 years ago
Dick I think you are famous enough around here now that those post don't work anymore, but you did get me once. With that out of the way I will respond "seriously" to the rest of them, just to see how if we can drag any new guys in.
avatar for DickJohnson
DickJohnson
•
15 years ago
re:steve229 that is some funny shit.....my tuscl brethren is getting harder to punk, but seriously, Corky won't even hump her leg and she is hott......
avatar for gk
gk
•
15 years ago
Dick, do yoiu write for soap operas?
avatar for DoctorDarby
DoctorDarby
•
15 years ago
Man DJ, I'm thinking that it could get worse if you ain't careful. You might come home some day and find your money, your major appliances, and your pickup truck gone with a note that says:

"I wud have left long ago x-cept I cudn't reech the pedals in the truck. This bitch u brot home sure is hott-WOOF-too badd she was bangin me and not u. The stuff in my food was Viagra-WOOF-I damn near fucked Mrs. Baker's poodle to deth. Thanx for all the milk bones. WOOF. Corky"

Feel free to compose a country song based on this tragic, true-life tail . . . er . . .tale.
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