Would I Lie to You?

Was that the Eurythmics or Pretenders?

Eurythmics.

I always get Annie Lennox mixed up with Aimee Mann, myself.

I've had lots of strippers tell me I have a "great body"...while I'm not grossly overweight, my gut still protrudes out noticeably.
Then there was a girl who made the mistake of telling me she went to a specific college and lived in a certain area. I happen to know both the college and neighborhood quite well, so I start asking her about various local stores, festivals, etc....she starts stuttering and stammering and had no idea what I was talking about. See, this is why smart dancers ask the GUY about these things first, so they can say "me too!" and then "bond" with him repeating facts they read about that city on the Internet. :-)

I get Annie Lennox mixed up with Rick Astley. Annie's the one with the deep voice, right?

The one I like is when they tell me they're horny because they haven't had sex in weeks/months/whatever. More like minutes. I hear strippers make up all kinds of stuff about themselves, but I don't bother trying to catch them on it. I'd rather change the subject to the lie that we all come into the club to have acted out.

The things strippers say which may or may not be lies usually deal with what famous celebrity has been to their club they claim to have been with. It's true many celebrities visit strip clubs but it's some of the claims the girls make which can be in doubt. It really depends on the claim, if they say for instance Brad Pitt came to the club and invited stripper to his hotel room, doubtful but who knows.

For the longest time I thought Rick Astley was a black dude. Back on topic:

Yes, some are so common that it's barely worth commenting on - such as when the dancer, without you asking, tells you "I don't have a boyfriend"

Me: I like your tongue stud. Do you wear it all the time?
Her: I take it out sometimes, like when I visit my boyfriend’s folks.
Me; I thought you said you didn’t have a boyfriend?
Her: Oh, I meant before, when I used to have a boyfriend. Which I don’t have, now, ok?
Me: Ok.

I have pretty much heard all of the stripper bull shit. I just take it in stride. But this one time in Columbia SC, I talked with a girl that said that she once lived in my home town in CA. I thought that this had be be the biggest BS ever. But she knew shit that you could only know if you had been there. In fact she lived in the same neighborhood that I once lived in. She got the dance.

Not sure this topic is even relevant! I figure strippers lie for one of two reasons: (1) to try and build up some quick intimacy, like "yeah, we're from the same home town"; or (2) to impress you with how desirable they are, i.e., "Brad Pitt picked me out of a line up", so you will do the same. In either case, they're just trying to separate you from your $$$ while making you feel good. So, what's the big deal?

I prefer not to go into the whole lying thing at all, because after all, the whole situation is pretty much a lie... I mean, how many young hardbodies actually want to have sex with 50+ grumpy old men? I don't hear any of you complaining about THAT LIE.

Whoa, dude, why so cynical? Actually, although I wasn't complaining, I said basically the same thing, in so many words.

"You have a big dick." Whatever.

The line that I've heard from strippers goes something like: "I know you probably won't believe me, but this is the first time I've done this (usually meaning BJ or sex --- I visit some of the Detroit area clubs) in the club."
So how should I reply?
1. Laugh so hard that I shoot beer out my nostrils? (probably not, too messy)
2. Say, liar, liar, pants on fire?
3. Say, thanks for making me your very first?
4. Say, OK, I promise to never ask again?
5. Say, wait till I post this on TUSCL--- you'll have lots more opportunities to do this.

Other suggestions?

stribclubspy,

Your last post did sound a tad, well, how should I put it, "grumpy".

Some of the more obviouys ones:

-Iusually don't do this...
-Yur dick is so much bigger that most other ones.

However, really get to know a dancer and the stripper shit can go down to zero, at which point you have to decide how revealing you want to be about yourself.

Some lies are just pointless, like "I will call you," or "I will meet you at [place] at [time]." Most guys don't form expectations unless they are explicitly given. But why do so many strippers go out of their way to give expectations they never intend to fulfill? I suppose they sometimes think it will lead to increased revenue; however, when they wait until the departure of their target to issue the lie, they must know it will have no such effect. In such cases, I assume they just cannot help themselves...they lie as a matter of regular course. I try to avoid such people, and associate with those who keep it simpler.

"you are so hot" (No, just sweaty. I can perspire in a walk-in cooler)
"I can really dig your cock" (Just dig it out. He only spits at you as a way of being friendly)
"I can't believe you're not married" (Me neither. All three divorces took my completely by surprise)
"you don't look 60" (Well, I'm, not. I am only 50, but I look like hell and very high-mileage. I lied about my age to make me look better by comparison)

Routine lies:
I like older men.
You're so interesting to talk to.
I danced for (name the politico, professional jock or celebrity.)
I turned down a part in a porn film.
I have just one semester to go before I graduate.
I'm saving anal for marriage.

BaddJack,

"I lied about my age to make me look better by comparison"

Sage advice. I'll have to remember that.

SuperDude,

Have we been talking to the same girl?

Yeah, apt choice, Steve, although the line about dancing with a partner takes on a different spin now in view of Mr. Jackson's, uh, lifestyle disclosure. Future thread titles I could see coming from Steve: "Is She Really Going Out With Him?", "It's Different For Girls"...

Ah, screw it. That goes with a different thread/song.

Steve--
We have probably been talking to the same ten girls.

Chandler said, "...in view of Mr. Jackson's, uh, lifestyle disclosure."

Can you elaborate? In context, it seems you might be saying Joe Jackson has recently disclosed that he is gay. Is that it?

Yeah, only not all that recently, how. I dunno, might have been 15-20 years ago, but still well after his prime years record-wise.