This could lead to somthing...

No, it's your imagination. I bet she wanted to see you do oragamy.

I'm torn between two options. I could put the person who originally posted this message on "ignore" in order to avoid the annoyance. Or I could madly search through all of TUSCL to find his pposts in order to enjoy laughing at him uproariously.

Just hope she isn't a practitioner of origami.

You have to love those table showers. My last visit to an AMP, the hot asian lifted her top and asked "wanna nip on ese"?

Dick Johnson wrote:"Then when I turned over with a raging hard-on she shreiked. "oh my goodness, what are we gonna do with that?" I was kinda embarassed."

AMP girls ask questions like that when they see pygmy hard ons. It's hard to give a HJ to a two and a half incher and it's hard for a AMP girl to give a BJ when she tries to restrain herself from laughing. You did yourself credit by leaving.

You should see a dick doctor dick. I hear they can perform miracles.

I've never even been to an AMP - don't even think they have them where I live. I'm thinking from some of the responses that a few of you have gone to them. Excuse my ignorance, but what exactly can you expect from them (reasonably)? No idea if all the jokes/stories about them are true or just exaggerated stereotypes.

Sounds like BJ's raging hard-on was infected. All those blisters and puss scared the girl away.

uscue,

Google "Houston Backpage" to get an idea of the AMP. You can expect table showers, massage, CBJ and FS. Some even have jacuzzi and steam rooms.

uscue13. There are AMP's in Columbia. I went to one on Two Notch Road a long time ago. Unfortunately I was too early. It was not open.PM shekitout for the name. I have forgotten.

Some still do not seem to grasp DJ's intent.

DJ, my quest, unlike yours, has not been for extras. Instead, I want to find a nice girl, get married, settle down, and have some kids. I have been looking in all the clubs in my area for the right girl, but I'm not having any luck. What do YOU think I should do?

DJ- Unless her name was Lorena Bobbit, or she had a lighter with a bunch of lighter fluid nearby, I would have suggested sticking around until she either satisfied you,ran away in horror, or otherwise terminated session.

harrydave,

I am sure there are many on here that have experienced what you are seeking. I know I found my dream lady at a strip club. Not only is she the most beautiful, pure, intelligent creature God has put on this earth, she was only dancing for fun, since she had a multi-million trust fund set up for her, and now, me. Just keep looking and they can be found.

As for helping you, I'd dress like a bum, don't bathe for a couple of days (weeks are better), drink heavily, spend no money on dances, be boorish, and above all, be willing to abuse your lady! You will have great success, as many dancers are attracted those guys.

Clubber,

Thanks for the advice! So many guys on here are cynical and just dump on you when you ask a serious question.

To be honest, I found that perfect girl at a small club in Phoneix. It wasn't love at first sight. A real relationship takes time to develop. It was later in the evening, after a few drinks and a string of particularly nice lap dances, that I knew I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. My hearted soared when she confided in me that she wanted to spend as much time as possible with me, and that we could possibly meet outside the club in the near future. I did discover that she is a chain smoker, has struggled with drug addictions (but who hasn't?), and a couple of her molars had to be removed due to substandard dental care. But if we can't overlook a few minor faults in our soul mates, where would be be? The relationship is still early, but I am completely convinced she is the one. I spend most of my income on her. But you can't take it with you! What should I do next to move the relationship to a higher level?

But if we can't overlook a few minor faults in our soul mates, where would WE be?

Sorry, I was so excited typing that post, I forgot to proof read it!

BTW, she just text messaged me and asked if I am coming into the club tonight. Yes!

Harrydave - good for you dude (man hug).

I have no problem getting extras at my club. The problem is I have been doing some other girls and spending too much money instead of concentrating it on the one I have been seeing for a year.

Maybe it's time to trade her in.

Is this post a joke?


Anyway, in most massage parlors, Asian or not, there is usually some cue that the girl gives and then you say something or do something and the extras follow.

That was your cue.

Well, I wish it was a joke!

After getting the text message from my future wife at the club, I took off from work 30 minutes early and stopped by the club. I've had extra expenses lately, so I had only $60 to spend today. I settled into my regular seat and looked around. It must have been 45 minutes before she finally appeared, coming out of VIP with some guy. Then she spent another 20 minutes in the dressing room. Finally, she came out, waved to me, and went straight back to the guy from VIP. I'm pretty sure she would have preferred to spend time with me, but I had run out of time, so I left.

What's next. Should I get her the bracelet she said she liked?

Ask your mother. If it were me, I wouldn't spend more than $10,000 for a bracelet and even then I would insist on a HJ.

cat,

Perhaps he should not "insist" on the HJ after only investing a measly $10K. Perhaps just drop a few hints, such as, "Try it on and maybe you should like jerk your hand around a bit to make sure the bracelet won't fall off. Here, let me help, jerk on this!"

One of my scouting techniques is to observe the women that go from VIP to the dressing room to freshen up. IMO they have a higher probability of offering extras than the dancers that just return to the floor.

tx, good point. Also always make note of how long they stay in the VIP. One song = low mileage.

Gatorfan:

"...do oragamy. Great one!!

Oh DJ. Once again you have overlooked the traditions that make these places so special. Your answer to her question "what are we going to do with that?" should have been "have a puppet show!!" At which point you pull out a tiny jester's hat and pair of Groucho glasses, slap them on your throbbing peter, and do your best ventriloquist imitation of Al Jolson singing "Mammy!" This would have been the woman's cue to grab the cute little feller and wank him until he spit in her eye.

gk- oragami is a great art form. Also it's only painful for the first four or five folds of the penis. Having your penis folded into a butterfly or pretzel really can impress the ladies!

gatorfan,

I did say, "Just hope she isn't a practitioner of origami." I am hoping she isn't, although it might be impressive to the ladies if it COULD be folded into a pretzel.

hey doctor darby that was a hilarious response, you wereen'tt serious though were you? i mean who carries around a puppet for their dick?