tuscl

Customerspeak-to-English Translations: What We Really Mean

chandler
Blue Ridge Foothills
You knew it was coming. Here's our counterpart to the Stripperspeak dialect:

Customerspeak: "Come and join me when you get off stage."
Translation: "Let's grope each other for free while I decide if I want to spend any money on you."

Customerspeak: "You have beautiful eyes"
Translation: "You have awesome hooters, but I'm not looking at them."

Customerspeak: "Maybe later."
Translation: "I think I can do better. Please leave now."

Any others?

15 comments

  • SuperDude
    15 years ago
    Customerspeak: I see you are wearing a Cross.
    Translation: Will your religious beliefs block my action?

    Customerspeak: I just got here.
    Translation: I'm too vain to admit that my old eyes need time to adjust to the dark.

  • how
    15 years ago
    Customerspeak: "Hi!"
    Translation: "I'd like to have sex with you."
  • Dudester
    15 years ago
    Customerspeak: How about a dance?
    Translation: Fuck you're hot !! Don't you know I've been pursuing you for hours and I can't leave without finding what kind of grinder you are?

    Customerspeak: How old are you?
    Translation: I don't want to get caught with an underage dancer

    Customerspeak: Are you sure you're 18?
    Translation: I want to fulfill a fantasy, I just don't want to do 20 years in the pokie.

    Customerspeak: What nights do you work?
    Translation: You've intrigued me. I'm hoping we can do this again, then in a hotel after that.

    Customerspeak: Do you do private parties?
    Translation: I wanna fuck all night

    Customerspeak: Have I seen you before?
    Translation: I vaguely remember this amateur video I bought in a porn shop
  • DoctorDarby
    15 years ago
    Customerspeak: I'm trying to pace myself
    Translation: Go away; I am waiting for a hotter dancer

    Customerspeak: Were'nt you a waitress/shot girl/door girl for a while?
    Translation: It's about time you showed us your tits.

    Customerspeak: I really don't need another club T-shirt
    Translation: Go away; I'm waiting for a hotter dancer
  • DickJohnson
    15 years ago
    ccustomer: I'd like to get extras
    translation: Im a cop
  • Book Guy
    15 years ago
    Very accurate, TUSCL-brother:

    Customerspeak: "What other clubs have you danced at?"
    Translation: "This tells me whether you PUT OUT or not!"

    I often try to work my way around to asking, "What other cities have you danced in?" Then, if I get something informative, "Oh, Houston, hunh? Did you get a lot of money there? I've been to Treasures ..." hint hint.
  • shadowcat
    15 years ago
    I'll second that. It is a big part of the interview with dancers new to me.
  • minnow
    15 years ago
    I'll second TB & BG posts. Additionally, I leave the door open for dancer to elaborate on her past dancing experience. If she says- "I danced in (Tampa, COI, etc) but quit because I couldn't stand the contact" is a sign to "suddenly develop an eye problem"[ I can't see getting a dance with her], retreating to mens room for a quick rinse, thence returning to seek Stevies from another dancer as a "cure".
  • Dougster
    15 years ago
    How has it right:

    customer: "hi"
    translation: "i'd like to fuck you"

    customer: "how are you?"
    translation: "i'd like to fuck you"

    customer: "what's your name?"
    translation: "i'd like to fuck you"

    etc., you get the idea...
  • Clubber
    15 years ago
    On the other hand...

    customer: "hi"
    translation: "Get lost bitch!"

    customer: "how are you?"
    translation: "God, you are sure a fuglie!"

    customer: "what's your name?"
    translation: "Just leave me the fuck alone!"

    etc., you get the idea...
  • how
    15 years ago
    CustomerSpeak: "Nice weather."
    Translation: "So, are you gonna give me FS, or what?"
  • Player11
    15 years ago
    CustomerSpeak: Do you like to play?
    Translation: Do you give extras?

    CustomerSpeak: I see, you've only been dancing a week. What were you doing before?

    Translation: Were you a streetwalker?
  • twentyfive
    9 years ago
    this deserves a bump
  • 4got2wipe
    9 years ago
    Brilliant stuff!
  • Mr_O
    9 years ago
    I wasn't around here back then, but I think Dougster^^^ and Clubber^^^ nailed it.

    Everything we say is directly related to one or the other. "Fuck?" or "Get lost!" I will qualify this statement as being our first "conversation" with a dancer. Future times, those are different.
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