Married to a stripper?

avatar for kalel15
kalel15
Florida
My wife is considering getting into the business. At face value this seems like a sweet deal. I was wondering, however; if any of you are married to a stripper (and/or dating one). What problems has the job and the lifestyle caused, if any.

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avatar for txtittyfan
txtittyfan
16 years ago
You have read the reviews. It is up to you how comfortable you are with your wife giving mileage in your area. You are in what appears to be a high mileage city. W/O mileage the money may not be that great.
avatar for Dudester
Dudester
16 years ago
Question 1: Are you okay knowing that at least a half dozen guys have had their spit on her nipples that day?

Question 2: In the VIP room, she is, at least, going to be expected hand out extras (she might not). Are you cool with that?

Question 3: Strippers meet guys with money who will make offers. Would you be cool with her having an allnighter, or three day trip with a client?
avatar for kalel15
kalel15
16 years ago
Thanks for the input guys. We do have an extremely strong relationship so I feel confident that we wouldn't suffer any ill effects. Dudester I hadn't thought of the all-nighter/trip scenario. I don't think she would be interested, but money talks. You given me a little extra to think about.
avatar for deogol
deogol
16 years ago
As time goes by, she will change - consciously or unconsciously taking in the habits and attitudes of the other strippers - as well change her attitude and trust of men after mingling with men she probably would be shielded from in normal social circles.
avatar for samsung1
samsung1
16 years ago
Even without the mileage, strippers still make more money than a lot of jobs.

I heard one stripper (who is very ugly I may add and gives air dances) and she was complaining about all the bad days she has been having of only making $150-180 per day. She said her usual income is $400-500 a day.

Also as for your wife...consider what type of club she will be stripping at (jackjoint, upscale, bikini bar, byob club, etc.)
avatar for chandler
chandler
16 years ago
Deogol's right. It will change her. I don't think either of you can have any idea how it'll all go down. Sweet deal? Maybe, maybe not.
avatar for casualguy
casualguy
16 years ago
Hi kalel15, welcome to the area and thanks for buying dances from one of my favorites. I can't afford to keep buying lap dances from all the favorites I have that all showed up last weekend. I do have others including one young dancer I haven't seen in months. She might be working an earlier shift, I don't know. She was bi and very pretty so she would have enjoyed dancing for your wife. If your wife ends up working in a club where some contact is tolerated, you might ask yourself if that would bother you if you came to visit and saw that. Some nights are a lot busier than other nights too and the bad economic news and job losses are keeping customers from tipping and spending as much.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
16 years ago
I wouldn't allow it.You could destroy your relationship. Is it worth it?
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago

"I wouldn't allow it.You could destroy your relationship. Is it worth it?"

Good point. However, if they're under extreme financial pressure not letting her do it might be even a greater likely hood of destroying their relationship. People do things for money all the time, that essentially ruin their lives.
avatar for kalel15
kalel15
16 years ago
To be completely honest the money is an issue. Our relationship has been "open" for the past 3 years and has remained very strong. I'm inclined to believe that the economic stress is more likely to cause any real issues. Casualguy, we will try to take care of Celeste any time we get the chance to get down there. If the wife starts working it will most likely be at that club anyway.
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago

I can only laugh when people give an example of an "open" relationship failing. The old his stripper wife ran off with the rich dude from Texas which ostensibly proves it was dumb to be "open." Yes, well, umm, like "closed" relationships don't have the wife running off with the rich dude from Texas . . .

Probably the number one reason for relationship failure is financial AND that even includes when the husband is raking in a huge income. If hubby is busy working 12 hours a day at some stupid job, then he shouldn't be too surprised when the lawn man or whoever steps up and helps the wife.

avatar for Ironcat
Ironcat
16 years ago
My favorite club is high mileage, but I have met dancers who have been able to maintain limits as to how far they will go while still providing good enough service to make money. I think if your wife is up front about the ground rules and is relatively attractive (which I'm sure she is) she can avoid the pitfalls that many dancers encounter.
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago
"If hubby is busy working 12 hours a day at some stupid job, then he shouldn't be too surprised when the lawn man or whoever steps up and helps the wife."

That happened to a friend of mine. He work his tail off for his wife and children. Gave 'em the best that money could buy. The children didn't consider him a real father because they hardly ever saw him. The wife was lonely. I don't think she did the lawn man or the pool man or even the gardener. Nope. She found a highly intelligent and financially successful attorney who did have or at least he made time for her. She fell in love with the good looking attorney. My friend was an ugly looking man, btw. The wife files for divorce and lives happily ever after with the smart attorney. My ugly friend-----well his life pretty much turned out as ugly as he is. :(

Yes, the ugly man definitely wouldn't have shared his wife with any man for any reason. He wouldn't comprehend an "open" relationship . . . he'd probably ask why get married?
avatar for SuperDude
SuperDude
16 years ago
If money pressure is the reason for the wife wanted to become a stripper, consider the following:
1. Is holding on to "stuff" more important than holding on to the marriage? If not, then consider dumping the "stuff," downsizing, filing bankruptcy, etc. Unpleasant, yes, but not as bad as seeing your wife leave you for a rich regular customer.
2. Are you ready to have your wife groped by other men, sucked, fingered and teased? Making money as a dancer in this economy has meant the near elimination of boundaries. I've had many dancers tell me that LD's have impaired their ability to have any real relatiohship outside the club life. Some women have undergone personality changes because of dancing, not for the better.
3. Can she turn it off when she comes home from work? Can you handle hearing about strange guys asking for BBBJ's from your wife?
3.
avatar for mreef
mreef
16 years ago
I would have your wife post on the pink site (stripperweb), and get opinions from the girls.

Many threads about reduced sex drive due to stripping. That would concern me.


Agree with the whole "open" relationship issues. I know many families with closed relationships being torn apart after 10+ years due to infidelity (including instances with the stay at home mom screwing around). So it can happen to anyone.
avatar for kalel15
kalel15
16 years ago
Mreef great idea about stripperweb. Thanks a lot.
avatar for judyjudy
judyjudy
16 years ago
Kale15,

There are a few things you must consider when entering into this venture. I am quite new to this whole thing and have learned a bit about it.

The first thing you need to ask yourselves is why are you guys considering this.- Is it for financial reasons? If so you must take a good look at your marriage to see if it is strong enough to go through this. Right now you may say yes but you must also consider the changes in your wife as well as the relationship.How do you feel about your wife being asked for "extras" and then following through on them.

Next, is this purely an idea to have some fun? If so I would recommend you leave it at just that. With that being said I would limit your "fun" to an occational visit.

If you would like to discuss this further....please give me a shout and I can share with you some of my experiences and then you can wieght things out for you two

Judy
avatar for jaxman5150
jaxman5150
16 years ago
If she has or has had any problems with drugs or alcohol, she shouldn't do it. Those are everywhere in all clubs and if she can't handle it then she should stay away.
avatar for lunabird
lunabird
16 years ago
I would say set boundaries. Look at clubs she may work at. Some clubs the girls make OK money with air dances and pasties (I know shocking!!!) and some you need to provide extras. I personally do have a boyfriend of three years. He is ok with one way touching lap dances (which I have found the perfect club for that and make descent money at). Guys do not "spit on my nipples" and never once have I been tempted by money other guys throw at me. I have never done a weekend stay or had an OTC date. why you may ask? cuz of the relationship. It is surely ludicrous to think that a marriage cannot survive this... and I hate to shock most guys here... MOST of us have boyfriends/husbands... we lie to you. if we didn't where would the money come from? its a fantasy world... and thats that. I do not deny some girls are more... shall I say loose? but that doesn't mean your wife cannot be a strong person and go there for a JOB. She isn't an escort. and this may be another shocker... not all of us are whores! lol but some YES are... but those give us a bad name.


I believe my job description say dancer and NOT leg spreader.
avatar for jablake
jablake
16 years ago

"I believe my job description say dancer and NOT leg spreader."

At the old Angels the job description read dancer, but thankfully there was no music or dancing. :) Now the ladies did walk and pose . . . maybe their job description should of read model.
avatar for txtittyfan
txtittyfan
16 years ago
lunabird,

Sounds like some good insight from a dancer. I have met quite a few quality intelligent dancers that do not spread their legs because they do not need to.

I think that a lot of patrons forget that they are exchanging cash for attention. Yes, she likes you until you are out of cash, then she moves on.
avatar for lunabird
lunabird
16 years ago
txtittyfan,

yeah I do admit some girls like the attention and will do more. Really whether they do it for money or fun I do not know. Perhaps both? why give it out for free, when someone is there to pay. While I do not have a problem with this by itself.. I DO have a problem when it becomes expected from all the girls. However, to Kalel, some clubs have very strict policies that make following the rules very easy (cameras, signs saying whats excepted, etc) that way there is no confusion between dancer and client.

I would also admit that it is hard turning the stripper part off. Some men tend to get alittle grabby at clubs. What I have noticed when I come home (usually from more of a night club setting with laxed rules.. say most clubs in tampa) I notice when my boyfriend makes sudden moves it is an instinct to knock his hand away. This bothered even him for a while until he noticed it was a defense mechanism against other people. Little traits like that DO follow us home. As long as you do not take them personally... its not that big of deal. When your at work for 8 hours 5 days a week, no matter what that job may be, you bring alittle of it home.
avatar for kalel15
kalel15
16 years ago
Lunabird,

Thanks for the great insight. Its nice to hear from an actual dancer. My wife is a very strong willed lady without any drug or alcohol issues. I feel confident that she will be able to stay within the parameters we set together. A couple of posts on the thread have mentioned diminished sexual desire. If you don't mind me asking, have you noticed this with yourself?
avatar for lunabird
lunabird
16 years ago
well no. it hasn't increased or decreased over all. I have however been to many clubs and when you are at a place for a period of time.. and perhaps said place isnt nice boss or customer wise.. then yes, a slight decrease. if she is happy, feels safe, and its not to much pressure.. i dont see why. its all about a healthy atmosphere. and finding the right club. (and semi enjoying the job)

Also i have read about the reviews you have posted. keep in mind dancers might only be friendly for the money. Co workers matter when you first start.. she may not want to start at a hustler club. This is where girls are here for cash and cash only. at a slower club she can learn the ropes.. you wouldn't want to throw he in sapphire club in las vegas. that comes later. At these smaller clubs the girls are willing to show the newbies tricks. lines to get boys in the back rooms. You cannot learn that at a large club... girls are too busy.

plus everything is new, from the personality to the dress, both which are developed over time. WE girls are very good actresses. You dont learn that in a night.

What I am getting at its a progression. Smaller clubs generally are able to monitor the girls more and extras are harder to do (unless thats what it is for). This way she will get comfortable talking with guys and possibly practice saying no is a polite way that will keep the customer at a distance, but still get some money and into the back room. A trick needed for the bigger clubs.

As long as she is happy the sex drive will not subside.

that was quite a bit of rambling
avatar for lunabird
lunabird
16 years ago
oh and if you have anymore questions I am here!
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
16 years ago
I've dated dancers and former dancers.

What you're looking at with girls in that business is what you're looking at with anyone. Maybe at a higher concentration in the issues department, but if you break it up by certain kinds of demographics not even that's too far afield. You're at an advantage because you already know the person in question. What anyone who's on the outside needs to understand ahead of everything else, though, is customers don't really care who's at home. Even if they ask.

The girls may lie about it, but even if they didn't it doesn't matter. Just like dancers meeting guys in clubs, in most cases guys who start to see a dancer as having potential outside the lines have jumped the shark. When dealing with many experienced customers, they're looking for what they're looking for and the dancer herself is just another detail. If you go along with your wife becoming a dancer, just understand she's signing up to be a piece of meat. A sex object that also walks and talks. Only you know whether both of you are up to it.

Depending on how "open" the relationship is, maybe that part of the equation is already solved.
avatar for judyjudy
judyjudy
15 years ago
As far as ther topic of diminished sexual desire, I would have to say for me it has been just the opposite. This venture has has added quite a bit of spice to my relationship and I personally have been more active than I have ever been.
avatar for ApocAngel
ApocAngel
3 years ago
A fireman got a private dance from my wife at s rhinos And he was so aroused because she’s the best looking girl they’ve ever had he put his penis inside of her moving her panties to the side and instead of getting upset she let him come inside of her and went home with him. I still jack off thinking about that it took a lot for me to pry it out of her if she knew I would be happy about it
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