Etiquette a dancers advice and perspective
Thursday, December 31, 2009 10:40 PM
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<div>1. If you sit next to the stage, it is somewhat expected that you tip the ladies. If you're not going to tip, sit in the back! If you go to a concert, you pay extra for front row and floor seats, don't you?<br />
2. NEVER tip a dancer in change! If you have nothing but change, take it to the bar…they will convert it to paper money for you. Think about it; WHERE ARE THEY GOING TO PUT IT?<br />
3. Getting a private dance with a dancer does not entitle you to her exclusive attention for the rest of the night. Remember when you were a kid and your parents let you ride on a pony? The pony wasn't yours alone to ride for the rest of the day, was it? If you want exclusive attention, buy private dances for the rest of the night.<br />
4. If a dancer throws an article of clothing at you, it's not yours to keep. It's a short term loan.<br />
5. If your only excuse for not tipping is you don't have any money, don't come to a gentleman's club until payday. If you have a Chevrolet budget, you don't go to a Mercedes Benz dealer shopping for a car, do you?<br />
6. Do not complain about drink prices! You don't go to your neighborhood bar and complain to the bartender about the lack of dancers in the bar, do you?<br />
7. NEVER refer to a dancer's G string as butt floss. Not only will it not be the first time she's heard that, it's a pretty unhygienically sound concept.<br />
8. Do not complain about the body styles of the dancers. The same girl you are criticizing is probably wearing a garter full of cash. She's obviously SOMEONE'S body type!<br />
9. The maximum number of times you should fold any bill you are tipping with is once in each direction. Please refrain from any money origami (such as folding a bill into the shape of a phallus, a pterodactyl, etc.)<br />
10. Regardless of how much money you have spent, do not expect a dancer to give you her phone number or to take you home. If you tip a waitress well, do you expect her to go home with you and make you a milkshake?<br />
11. Please sit in an area that's appropriate for the number of people in your party. One person sitting at a club full of people at a table for four is not only rude;it makes you look a little scary. If someone is alone at a table with the number of seats you need, it is acceptable to ask the person to "share" the table as long as you can see both of his hands.<br />
12. NEVER lie about your occupation! If you tell a dancer you are a doctor and you only tip her $2 in a 4 hour shift, she knows you are one of 2 things: a cheapskate or a liar, neither of which will endear you with her.<br />
13. If you're having a birthday or bachelor party at the club, do not expect any more attention than anyone else. You will get the gentleman's club equivalent of the waitstaff at a restaurant singing "Happy Birthday" to you. Any thing more than that is because they WANT to do it for you or someone has given them extra money to do it.<br />
14. Do not ask any of the dancers to dance to any of the following genres of music: opera, children's songs, death metal, or bluegrass. However, if the club offers karaoke, it is encouraged that you sing songs from one of these genres. There's nothing like a dancer giving a private dance to a poorly sung rendition of "Puff The Magic Dragon."(Thanks, Chris!)<br />
15. Never expect the dancers to be as friendly to you as they are to the female patrons. EVER!<br />
16. If there are females in the club, do not assume they are there trying to find a date. They may just be there to get away from all the "pigs" and "dogs" at other bars. Prove them right! Don't turn into a "pig" or a "dog".<br />
17. When it comes to closing time, the normal rules of bar etiquette apply. When you finish your drink, please leave in an appropriate amount of time, usually within 5 minutes. Waiting for a dancer to come out at the end of the night is both scary and a sign of desperation. Come back and see her again.<br />
18. If you don't like any of the following, coming to a gentleman's club may not be for you: cigarette smoke, cigar smoke, the smell of perfume, or feathers and glitter. They are all part of the gentleman's club experience most evenings.<br />
19. Never look a dancer straight in the eye and tell her to "Dance, BITCH." Most likely, she won't dance for you, neither will any of the other dancers she talks to. She's not your slave and, usually, she knows what her job is!<br />
20. Never bite, grab, lick, or slap a dancer's ass. Even though she may not be looking at you, there ARE mirrors and she CAN see you.<br />
21. If you do bite, grab, lick, slap, etc a dancer while she's dancing, no matter what your intentions are, expect to be kicked in the eye with a stiletto heel that rivals the size of your manhood.<br />
22. Do NOT track down your favorite dancer in the "real" world or on myspace simply because she was nice to you at the club. It's her job moron! If the dancer happens to like you or finds that you have some redeeming quality and wishes to be friends/date etc... she will let you know, and make it obvious that you are privileged enough that you may contact her and give you instructions on how to do so. Otherwise you are most likely just going to really piss off her angry, violent boyfriend/husband/significant other. =D (-G)<br />
23. When receiving a private dance from a dancer, it is not your right to grope, grab, lick, kiss, suck, and/or ask for sexual favors. She is a dancer, not a whore.</div>
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