• articles >
• Locutusbrg

Locutusbrg

Resistance is futile

Being a full time PL myself, I think back to my early days when I started going to strip clubs and how much I needed to learn. I AM BY NO MEANS AN EXPERT BUT...
After years of mongering sometimes I win, sometimes I've lost. Due to the money I've spent poorly and time wasted, I have learned quite a bit. After many many stripper conversations, I have learned some common stripper opinions about what irritates them from customers.
We all want to maximize our money and our mileage with the girls. I hope that this small slice of advice will help you maximize your good time. The topic of how to get the most pussy for the least cash is a textbook, so this is far from comprehensive.
Nothing here will be ground shaking for regular mongers. If your new to the g-string hunt, these might be helpful tips.
Strippers, like all workers, like reliable income. Regulars are regular income. Presenting yourself as a possible regular(whether you want that or not), gets the small perks of potential future money. You can always spend tons and get the same attention, but if you are looking to maximize your attention without making it rain. These small tips can help.

PRIMARY DISCLAIMER... This is for U.S. strip clubs, and to some extent Montreal Canada, outside of North America the game changes. My advice falls flat if you hit a hustler. Some girls are all about the hustle, promise big, deliver small. There are some who will try to bleed you dry in one visit. Some who would break into your house and rob you if they knew where you live. Some who would blackmail you if they get the chance. There are bad people in all walks of life. "Hustle movie" type strippers are to be avoided, they are real. They deserve their own article. Which I may write one day. In my experience, they are not the norm, just an ever present danger. Always keep your shit private. Strippers don't need to know everything about you to get your dick hard, so be discrete.

Most Strippers- are there to work and make money...duh. Some guys think, "I go in the club throw a bunch of ones on the stage and the girls' will be throwing their pussy at me." Ha, you will be sadly disappointed. It takes some finesse to get what you want and not pay through the nose. Sure, if you are lucky and have "fuck you" amount of money and/or your famous, you can work it anyway you want. For the rest of us mortals, it takes a bit of effort to get the best effort out of your dancers.

This is my common list of assumptions that new guys think about strippers that are transparent to them. The things guys say or do that turn them off, and possibly can cut into your fun. Anyone can spend $ and get a lapdance. I just recommend you get the best ass rubbing possible for your buck.
If you think you are going to run PUA game and get laid....you won't!
If you think your going to be the blue light special guy, sip one drink all night and make one stripper's dream come true with 20 bucks, otherwise spend nothing. It ain't gonna happen LOL.
Strippers aren't looking for boyfriends, may not even like boys all that much. They aren't looking for help to get away from, what some think is, a degrading job. Despite the common stripper stereotypes, most have their act together. They dance because they want to, In some respects, most like what they do. Like many people they don't love all aspects of their job. So remember....
They are not all orphans, they have family and friends. They aren't abandoned girls with daddy issues who do heroine all day.
If you go into a club, and think that these girls are desperate, that they need a white knight to come in and save them. Your going to turn them off to you. It's a tired attitude that is not going to either impress them, or improve your experience. Leave your holier than thou attitude at the door.

Strip Club DO and DO NOT

DO
Bring cash.
Cash is king obviously. C-Cards can buy dances and drinks at some, but not all clubs. The house gets a bigger cut typically, and the potential tips are limited, in the girl's mind. Cash is also the best way to cover your tracks if you need to. Typically I keep a large amount in reserve and pull out a bit at a time.
Don't
Flash Huge wads of cash around.
It doesn't impress them as much as you hope. There are more impressed by what you use not what you show. Plus they may call their boyfriend, when they go in the back, asking him to wack you over the head when you leave the club. But even if there is no danger, using it is way more impressive than showing it. I prefer the more frugal approach.

DO
Dress nicely, but not too nicely.
Dancers notice your appearance. They really don't care that much if your fat or old. They all notice a nice classy watch and nice shoes. Overdressing is a classic mistake. They will notice you are wearing a cheap suit, as quickly as your wearing an Armani suit. Neither is great option. One screams poor, one screams bleed me. Suits aren't much of a attraction. Dress like you would for a casual date. If your presentable, you make it easier for them to pretend that you turn them on. In a crowded club they will check out the nicely dressed guy before the cheap suit any day. It sends the message that you have the ability to pay. Particularly if your a very young guy. To a lot of strippers young=broke. Decent clothing, in my experience, results in better performances and maybe even better mileage. Clothes also say you have enough money to not waste their time, or conversely that cheap watch means your a cheap/broke bastard. If you want to wear your Rolex and designer clothes, go ahead. I guarantee you'll get the same service I do, but at a much higher price.
Don't
Wear rape-y clothes, or rough work clothes.
Loose gym shorts letting your junk hang out could get you tossed, even if it doesn't the girls will avoid you. Wearing coarse clothes like work coveralls etc. are harsh to LD. Try rubbing your naked ass all night on denim jeans with brass studs. They have a lot of laps to rub, make yours rough or painful(like car keys in the hip pocket), your lap dance will be short.

DO
Always make a token monetary or drink offer for her time.
Buy her a drink if she spends time with you. If you talk for while but aren't interested, give them a small tip. Not being chintzy pays dividends. In the club, the more girls who know you and are positive about you, then the more likely you will get attention from the one you want. The girls talk to each other, they watch everyone at the club. If your cheap they will see it. If someone sits down, with you but you decide she not worth big money, a small tip can pay dividends on your club rep. And believe me, if you go more than once, you will have a rep.
Don't
Run cheap-o game.
Guys that don't drop money at the stage, never buy a drink, sit there and watch the show, always pay one way or another. The club is an unspoken contract. They let you touch and ogle their naughty bits, you pay. If you try to not pay, the contract is broken. Typically they want return customers. If your cheap they don't want you back. Either, they collectively will ignore you, or try to rip you off. They don't care if you go home happy or pissed. If you think you own a stripper, because you stuck 2 bucks in her g string during the pole show, think again.

DO
Understand the stripper rap.
Translated for the noobs....
Are you waiting for someone?- Are you willing to pay to see my ass or should I move on.
What is your name?- Lets see how boring you are
What do you do for work?- Lets see how quickly you can lie.
Wanna Dance?- your boring, but I will see if I can squeeze a couple of bucks out of you before I move on.
Is it ok if I sit down?- are you interested in paying to see me naked?
If your not interested, tell her thank you and say I am really waiting for dancer-X... they respect that and will probably go get her for you.
Don't
Give the girl the girl a hard time for coming up to you, when your not interested. It's her job.
They are there to work, yes its fun and exciting to have a hot girl suddenly seems interested in you. Still, if your really not that into her, tell her! I usually say, "your lovely but I don't want to waste your time, I am going to have a drink right now relax before settling on anyone." You can say anything, not what I said. Just convey that you respect her time and don't want to waste it. Letting her throw down a rap for 15 minutes, and then ignore her till she leaves doesn't make any friends, and cuts down on your visits from others.

DO
Ask about her.
Everyone likes it when you take an interest in them. Strippers are no different. Ask them something interesting, avoiding creep questions. Ask about why she chose her name? Ask what's her favorite day of the week is to work? Ask what's the weirdest thing that ever happened here? People like to talk about themselves. Just like a real date, getting her talking is favorable. Making them feel like you're recognizing them as a person, makes them most likely to try to make you happy. Also anything that makes them more comfortable with you will generally result in them letting you do more things to them.
DON'T
Ask the same creepy guy questions they are subjected to every day.
Like asking, what's your real name? Strippers are all tired of that one! Asking them to marry you. Or the ultimate... let me take you out for dinner. One very pragmatic girl told me, "don't ask any questions of your stripper that you wouldn't of your attorney." They are providing a cash for service business. They don't want dinner or a weekend at Bernie's adventure with some random guy that thinks he's doing her a favor. You pay your attorney, he gets you off. You pay your stripper she.... well if your lucky.
Don't ask anything too personal about them. Stalkers are real, personal questions weirds them out. They don't want to end up at the bottom of the well, having to put the lotion in the basket or get the hose again. They will surprisingly share much of their lives if they want, if you listen. Some of you don't want to know, I get it, for me the fantasy is more fun if I know a bit about them. IF you ask creepy personal questions they just lie and try to be rid of you ASAP. Plus the girls talk to each other, suddenly instead of the fun guy, your the creepy guy.

This next bit of advice is more important than anything I've written about above. The fry cook on a budget can get more attention than a millionaire, if you pay attention to one little bit of advice.
DON'T SMELL BAD.
That is right, how you smell is probably the most important thing to your potential LD.
Personal Hygiene. The girls complain about this problem, more than anything. If your breath can melt the steel in the WTC, or your body odor is equivalent to road kill, in the sun, in July, get used to short dances and big money.
They don't care that your older than methuselah, that your as wide as you are tall, or that your face can stop a clock. They can get by all that. They aren't going to ignore the cloud of stomach turning vapors surrounding you for 50 bucks.
They can't stand the stench dude. If you always smell, everyone will avoid you like covid-19.
Please, brush your fricken teeth, get a breath mint, take a shower, and for gods sake buy some deodorant, and actually use it. Your stripper and your dick will thank you for that.
Yes, you can overcome your disgusting smell with wads of cash, even that has an upper limit.
Also for craps sake don't put your hand in her vag without clearing it with her first. You don't want to be known as the finger guy. It may get you tossed.

Although some will say that any of these suggestions are a waste of effort.
In my experience, these simple rules:
Don't smell bad, dress nice, don't be a jerk, don't try to save a "HO", treat them with basic respect, or don't be a cheap ass...Delivers.
I have had OTC intimate attention for a bargain. I have had multiple girls in the VIP room on the cheap just because it was my birthday. I don't break the bank, yet get full mileage bonus on a daily basis when I go. I have had really hot girls come and sit on my lap just because they are tired and don't want to be bothered by other guys, and not ask for a penny.
I never, NEVER ask what a stripper's "real" name is! I never talk down to them, I always make them feel like a person not a blowup doll, and I never let my personal hygiene go lax.
Stripping and LD is a game. You can get a better experience without spending your mortgage payment.
They're not gonna be your girlfriend, but that is not why I am going to strip club anyways.

Adjudicators

BabyDoc

Eve

joewebber

RockAllNight

minnow

Although many points have been covered in other articles a bejillion times, there seems to be enough unique personal spin to nominate Eve for a Pulitzer Prize.