• articles >
• booji boy

booji boy

A collection of notes about planning a trip to TJ and some things to do while you're there.

COVID is making life boring, so I figured I'd try my hand at writing an article on mongering in TJ... This is meant for beginners to the area, so if you're a regular you won't get much out of it -- if you're in that category, please add your own impressions and correct any factual errors.

I'm assuming that TJ as a destination will someday go back to what it was like before the virus. In any case, I don't see a lot of what I'm going to say changing as long as TJ becomes accessible again.

BEFORE YOU TRAVEL TO TJ

The first thing to keep in mind is that Mexico is a different country. If you're going for the first time, take the time to learn abut the place so you don't get yourself in trouble once you're there. This is stuff as simple as checking the weather so you don't pack the wrong clothes and as complex as knowing how to behave if you are approached by the police. Chances are that you will have a perfectly fun and safe time there, but there's a small and significant chance that you will have a minor or major bind to work yourself out of.

-- Things to Pack --

Check the weather and choose clothes appropriate for it. Even if you're just going on a day trip, you should consider bringing a change of clothes with you in a small bag. Case in point: On my last visit I made the acquaintance of a cute little MILF in Chicago Club that I took into a VIP booth for a satisfying makeout session. Turned out she was a little stinky down there (not the really bad kind of stinky, just noticeable), and she was a squirter. Anyway, after our session I was wearing soggy and stinky pants and I had to make an immediate beeline to my hotel room to change.

I you bring a bag with you, you can check it at the main entrance of Hong Kong for a $2 tip if you don't have a room. Ditto for Chicago Club. They won't molest it in my experience, but just don't leave anything valuable inside. If you're staying in the Zona Norte, think about bringing either a duffel bag or a backpack because all of the hotels are going to be at the other end of a long flight of stairs. Rolling luggage is going to be inconvenient.

Cultural Note: Even in the middle of summer, Mexican men do not wear shorts out in the street. If you do, you're basically telling everybody around you that you're a gringo. Something to think about.

Aside from Clothes and a toothbrush, what else should you bring?

Phone Charger and Cables: Mexican outlets are the same as U.S. Outlets, and your room will have one unless you're in a flophouse. If it's a day trip, maybe a power pack in with your change of clothes. Can't hurt.

Toiletries: I like to have my own body wash for the shower (and washcloths), something that's acceptable for both me and the chicas. The hotel soaps are not going to be very high end stuff. This is something that's easy and cheap to pick up once you're in TJ, so there's no real need to bring it across the border unless you want to (more below).

-- How Much Cash to Bring --

As much as you can. If you've never been to TJ, you're about to experience the North American Mongering Valhalla and it's blissfully easy to overspend if you're not paying attention. Some like to bring Pesos instead of Dollars, but I'm not one of them. To begin with, the largest bill denomination is 500 Pesos, or roughly 20-25 bucks depending on the exchange rate. This means a potentially huge wad of bills to carry around and not flash around to the local criminal elements. I try to bring as many 50s and 100s as I can along with a few hundred in smaller denominations and make change at the bar of the club I happen to be in, or with a mesero I know and trust. Forget about bringing $1 bills -- they have stacks of them at each bar waiting for your $20 bills.

So how much? To begin with, how many sessions with a chica are you planning on? Each one will cost you $80-100. Drinks for you will be roughly $5 each for a beer, $10 for booze, and $10 for the ladies (all including tip). I figure on spending $50-100 shopping for that trip upstairs when I'm budgeting and that usually works for me. Add hotel to that, and it comes out to about $500-600 minimum per day. YMMV.

Meals and sundries could add $25-50 a day to that. Do not plan on paying with credit because there are plenty of skimmers in place. ATMs are available (more on that below).

-- How Much Spanish Do I Really Need to Know? --

For all practical purposes, you can get by just fine in TJ with English alone as nearly everyone you'll come in contact with has at least some English. The more Spanish you know, however, the better your experience is going to be so it can be worth the time to learn the basics like "how much to go upstairs" or "where is the bathroom" before you go. There are all kinds of online tools and apps for this and I leave it to you to scout them out.

If you have a cellphone, you should install a translation program to help you like Google Translate or Microsoft Translator. You can get around using mobile data in Mexico by enabling offline translation in the app while you're still at home. This will let you download the Spanish and English dictionaries to your phone so that you can use the app without needing to be connected to the internet. These files are about 50MB each and will let you translate by typing -- the voice translation requires a data connection, and most people you'll deal with are familiar with how it works.

-- Can I Connect to the U.S. Cell Network from the Zona Norte? --

Most of the time, you'll be far enough away from the closest U.S. cell towers (or have no line of sight) that you will be connecting to one of the Mexican carriers. This means you will be roaming (and paying extra for it) unless your cell plan covers roaming in Mexico. If you can't or don't want to change your plan to include Mexico, you still have options: You can either get a temporary "vacation" extension to your plan or get a prepaid Mexican SIM card and use that while you're there. You can get a SIM with a good amount of data included for a few hundred Pesos, and it's reloadable so you can use it for all your visits to the country. Best of all, you can get one at any convenience store, get it activated and reload it, usually without having to provide any personal details.

-- Emergency and Contingency Plans --

The San Ysidro border crossing is the busiest in the U.S., with tens of millions of crossings each year. The odds that *your* visit to Mexico will end in tears is actually pretty small, but it's not zero even if you're very careful. You can do a few easy things beforehand to prepare for the possibility:

Create a scan or photocopy of your passport (the ID page) or passport card. You can do this with your phone if you don't have a scanner at home, or even do it at Kinko's. Email or leave a copy to a trusted friend, and maybe email a copy to yourself.

Have a cell phone with you. If you don't want to bring your own with you, get a burner phone in Mexico for cheap, and a Mexican SIM card in Mexico also for cheap. Either way, have someone at home to check in with you via text if nothing else. Note that 911 is the same in Mexico, and in addition to that you can access a tourist assistance hotline via 078. Worst case, you should know how to contact your embassy:

U.S. CONSULATE - Tijuana
Paseo de las Culturas y Camino as Aeropuerto
Mesa de Otay
Delegación Centenario C.P. 22425
Tijuana, Baja California
664-977-2000

Hours: 7:30 a.m. to 4 p.m.
After-hours emergency hotline: 001-619-692-2154
E-mail: [email protected]

TRAVELING TO TJ - DRIVING

I'm going to cover the three main options, driving there, flying to San Diego (SAN), and Flying to Tijuana (TIJ).

Driving To San Ysidro

If you're driving there, you really should plan on parking your car at San Ysidro on the American side, unless you are familiar with driving in Mexico and OK with the risk of damage to your car or worse. This is especially true if you're driving a rental. San Ysidro is basically at one end of I-5 and I-805; just watch the signs like a hawk and get off at the last U.S. Exit. Miss that and you will end up in a long line of cars waiting for the actual crossing, where you will spend a long, long time in a long, long line of vehicles feeling sorry for yourself until you can u-turn back into the States. Some of our fellow travellers have shared details on places you can park near the trolley line, and you can seek them out to get more information. I just keep it simple and budget money for the parking charges if I'm driving.

Parking In San Ysidro
 
There are two main fee lots and a number of smaller lots to choose from. I recommend choosing a lot ahead of time and using that in your GPS to help in getting off the highway at the right exit. Do a Google search beforehand to see if there's any events going on (like a major boxing match) as this will fill up the lots and force you into wasting time searching for an alternate lot. I've never had my car molested in any of the lots that I've used, and that will be a safe bet for you too as long as you follow the usual rules of thumb like not leaving expensive shit in plain sight. Stow everything you're not going to carry across before you get to the lot, or just don't bring it.
 
International Parking is behind a Jack in the Box and it's a short walk to the PedEast crossing point. It's not obvious the first time you go -- just get on the road that Jack in the Box is on and it's just past it. There's a booth at the entrance where you'll have to pay a deposit of one day's parking to get in. You'll get a receipt back and do not lose it - you'll get charged extra when you leave if you lose it. PedEast is just past the Blue Trolley terminus so just head for that and follow the other people on their way across. It's pretty obvious.
 
Border Station Parking is across from the outlet stores right along the border and it's a short walk to the PedWest crossing point. It has an automated gate that will prompt you for a phone number or a credit card to get in and you just type it or insert your card again at a pay kiosk (paying by cash) or the exit gate (paying by card) to get out. I use a phone number that I used to have 20 years ago for this because they couldn't care less. Just make sure it's something you remember, or you'll get charged extra when you leave. The border crossing is across the street and can't be missed.
 
So which lot should you use? My preference over the years is Border Station Parking in spite of the fact that it's $20-30 a night (American Parking is $10-20 a night). They're both reasonably safe, but American Parking is in an area with a lot of vehicle and pedestrian traffic and often a real pain to get into and out of. The two crossing points are about a ten minute walk apart, so you're close no matter what.

TRAVELLING TO TJ - FLYING TO SAN DIEGO

If you fly in to SAN, you have a number of options available to you to get the rest of the way into TJ. From here you can taxi or Uber to the border, or get a rental car.

From either terminal, you can also get on the 995 bus to get to Americas Plaza for $2.50, and then buy a fare for the Blue Line trolley from one of the kiosks at the trolley station for another $2.50. This will get you to the trolley terminus in San Ysidro right by the PedEast crossing point in 45-60 minutes. Be sure and budget this much time for the trip back if you think you'll be bumping up against your departure time.

TRAVELLING TO TJ - FLYING TO TIJUANA

You can also fly right into TIJ, but there are no direct flights from the U.S. that I'm aware of -- you will be connecting through another city -- most flights will be two legs with a connection in Mexico City (MEX). You can usually find flights that work out to roughly equal travel time compared to flying to SAN if you add in the time needed to get to San Ysidro and through the pedestrian crossings, so don't count this option out.

Another possibility is planning a side trip to TJ as part of a longer trip somewhere else in the country (this is something I've done a lot). There are direct flights to TIJ from places like Acapulco or Cabo and you'll be surprised at how cheap it is to fly in Mexico.

Once you're there, walk out of the terminal (it's not a very big airport), turn right, and you'll find the taxi stand. It costs about $20 to get to HK from the airport and it's a 15 minute ride.

CROSSING THE BORDER (BOTH WAYS)

Getting Through Mexican Customs

Regardless of which crossing you use, look for the line under the "Extranjeros" sign and join it. It usually moves pretty quickly and unless you're staying for an extended period you just have one form to fill out in two sections and you're done. To get through even faster, you can complete the form at home by going to https://www.inm.gob.mx/fmme/publico/en/s…, printing it out, and bringing it with you. You may get a warning from your web browser about the website but it's OK to keep going (technical aside: this is because of a minor misconfiguration on the web server). There are two options, one for crossing by land and one by air (if you fly in to TIJ). You will get a little visa card from the officer that you need to keep with you to prove you're legit to be in the country. If you're flying directly into Mexico, do not lose this as you will be asked for it at the airline gate before you can board. Once you're past border control, you will need to put your bag(s) through an x-ray machine (looking for guns) and Welcome to Mexico. Unless it's unusually busy, it'll take about 15 minutes. Follow the other travellers and in a couple of minutes you'll be at the taxi stand. From PedEast/PedWest, it's a $5 cab ride to HK.

Getting Through U.S. Customs (Land Crossings)

If you aren't comfortable wandering through a large and strange city (or if you're lazy like me), you should cab it back to the border for the same fare that got you to the Zona Norte. Just ask to be taken to the "Frontera" and be sure to specify which one to the driver. There will be two lines to get back into the U.S., one for regular passport holders and non-U.S. Citizens/residents, and one for people with a passport card or a trusted traveller card like NEXUS, Sentri or Global Entry. The regular line will always be a lot longer so consider investing in one of the cards that get you in the express lane. This is also where you can put the BWT app on your phone to good use to see what the wait times in line are. If you are used to crossing into the U.S. From abroad, this can be as quick as the process to get into Mexico. CBP is not as laissez faire as their Mexican equivalent, though, so you may get some probing questions to get through before you're back in the U.S. My advice is be as truthful as you can and play it stupid when you can't be truthful. For example, if you're carrying a hundred pack of Viagra without a prescription, play dumb and usually they'll just let it slide or just make you toss it in the trash. If you plan on doing something like that as part of your trip, check out the rules for this online and try to work within them. Remember: If they don't ask, you don't need to tell unless you're on the edge of what the rules allow. Until you get past the same kind of x-ray machine for your bags that you saw on the way in to Mexico, you are not in the U.S. yet and act accordingly. CBP can and will un-make your day if you rub them the wrong way.

NAVIGATING THE ZONA NORTE

The Zona Norte is the neighborhood where most of the bars are located: https://goo.gl/maps/g11Y2FDq4RV8CLUG7. If you zoom that map out, you'll notice that you're actually pretty close to the border. So why does everybody take a taxi there? Mostly, it's because walking could take you through some rough areas with a wad of cash in your pocket if you take a wrong turn. It's also because Mexican cities are notoriously pedestrian-hostile. It's also because the taxi fare is cheap: %5 plus a buck tip.

Once you're there, the block that HK and Adelitas is on is reasonably safe at any time of the day and regularly patrolled by the police (there's a cop shop just around the corner from Adelitas). Most of the people you'll see are meseros from the clubs trying to lure you in, beggars and homeless folk, and of course the street girls. Treat them the same way you would back home and they won't be a bother. There are also scammers, grifters and punks, but they are only a worry if you somehow let them lead you away from this block.

Big Important Note: Pot and harder drugs are readily available, but you are in for a major world of hurt if you get caught. Mexico is on a path to marijuana legalization, but they're not there yet. If you need that buzz, be as discreet as you can about it… edibles and some vapes are your best options here unless you have a source you're willing and able to trust. You have been warned.

-- Inside The Clubs --

Mesero (or mesera) is a word you'll see a lot in the reviews, and it just means waiter/waitress. They make most of their money from tips, and you'll be treated better if you tip. You don't need to calculate what 18% works out to for this, as a $1-2 dollar tip will make them perfectly happy. Anything more than that will mark you as a potential sucker unless it's someone you've built a relationship with over multiple visits.

The clubs make the bulk of their money from drink sales, so always be drinking even if it's just a bottle of water. You don't have to order from the meseros if you don't want to… you can order from the bartenders and this is a better choice if you have a large bill to break as they can't ghost you and pocket the difference. They are also able to break a large bill into dollar bills for all your other tips. I've found that the bartenders will become fast friends with you if you tip them consistently and will give you valuable intel on the girls.

Bar girls will often cozy up to you looking for a tip in exchange for some friendly groping. This will cost you a buck as well, and I'll part with that buck even if I'm completely uninterested because (a) they're making the effort and they have to eat, and (b) this isn't happening in a vacuum -- the other girls will notice, and this girl may well be the BFF of your dream girl and willing to hook you up with her.

-- Things That You Can Walk To From the Zona Norte --
 
If you have any street smarts at all, you should be perfectly fine walking around during the day. At night, better safe than sorry... Why ruin your fantasy getaway over a few bucks for a taxi? Here are a few things within an easy walk of HK:
 
1. Farmacia Ahorra (5min): This is a big chain like Walgreen's or Rite Aid, and the prices are pretty low. You can get Viagra or Cialis (branded and generic), along with just plain aspirin, body wash, etc. The meseros in HK will try sell you generic Viagra for $20 a pill, and that same $20 will get you a pack of 10 here and it's only 3 blocks away.
2. Av Revolucion (10 min): This is the main tourist drag, and you will find shops and restaurants galore. It's safe and interesting during the daytime, and the same applies in the early evening. I go here for a good sit down meal -- Azul is OK but it's basically on a par with Dennys.
3. Bank ATMs (10 min): The ATMs in HK/Cascadas and the other clubs are all third party machines like you'd find in a convenience store back home, and they generally have lower withdrawal limits (up to 3,000 pesos) and higher service fees. At a bank ATM, the withdrawal limit is usually 6,000 pesos and the fees will be lower.

Adjudicators

Eve

Kcninja

Muddy

gobstopper007

Longball300

You could sell this as a travel guide for mongers.