Portland Strip Club Crawl
mjx01
Aspiring Global Hound
Let me start out by emphasizing that I not from the PDX area. I was in PDX on business and pulled off a bit of a club crawl. So this is all from a non-regular’s perspective. I’ve posted individual reviews for each club visited, but though I’d try to make a ‘cliff’s notes’ level summary of the adventure. FWIW, several dancers at several clubs suggested that weekday rush hour is a reasonably popular time. I guess it is also fair to say that talent can be hit or miss pretty much whenever / wherever so a single data point might be misleading. Also, FWIW, overall the level of ink being sported by dancers was minimal which was not what I expected for PDX.
Club Rogue
Located downtown. Visited Saturday night. Easily the most ‘up-scale’ place I visited. Decent stage side action. Decent and diverse talent. The $20/$40 LD chairs are horribly tiny. More (one way) mileage than I would have expected based on the stated rules. IMO, don’t bother if you aren’t prepared to do at least the 3/$100 or higher. Possibly the only day shift option downtown.
Spyce
Downtown. Saturday night. Claustrophobic. Low ‘floor’ stages perfect for mini-laps, but stage side contact was light and limited at best. Talent was almost exclusively young and white. Club seemed to have peculiar rules about where / when dancers are ‘allowed’ to talk to customers. None of the dancers talked to me so I bailed. Not my first choice downtown.
Sunset Strip
Tuesday, day shift. Not sure what to think of this place. A bit of a dive but far from the worst I’ve ever been to. Exceptional stage side mileage. More grinding than most places offer in LDs. Several comments by the dancers that more is possible on day shift, but at the same time I got a strong R.O.B. vide. The dancers here were very openly onto the fact that this was my first time here. Jury is out, but I would return to investigate further. Talent was good enough, but only about average.
Dolphin
Tuesday, day shift. Overall sad. Much newer (remodeled?) interior than I remember from (many) years ago. Three customers and four dancers. Two of the four dancers were well past their stripper expiration dates despite looking good for their ages. I would not return.
Xpose
Tuesday, day shift. Inconvenient location. Tiny parking lot. Nice enough / newer looking interior. Low ‘floor’ stages setup perfect for mini-laps but that did not seem to be on the menu. Totally disinterested dancers who only wanted sit at the bar and drink with their regulars. They were visibly annoyed that I wanted to see T&A and not drink. One super-hot dancer and at least one past here stripper expiration date. I would not return.
The Venue
Thursday, evening. Easy access from I-205. Nice parking lot. Club interior seemed well maintained / updated. Wide range of talent from a solid 10 (looked like my xATF) to 0s. A couple of regulars monopolizing the best dancers. I would return to investigate further.
Club 205
Thursday, evening. Also easy access from I-205, but not as nice of a parking situation. Sign on the door says they scan IDs. Much more of a dive than its neighbor. Most of the talent was underwhelming. However, there was one young, super cute dancer that interested me. Unfortunately, a regular was monopolizing her time. Personally, I’d rather spend my time and money across the street.
Club Rogue
Located downtown. Visited Saturday night. Easily the most ‘up-scale’ place I visited. Decent stage side action. Decent and diverse talent. The $20/$40 LD chairs are horribly tiny. More (one way) mileage than I would have expected based on the stated rules. IMO, don’t bother if you aren’t prepared to do at least the 3/$100 or higher. Possibly the only day shift option downtown.
Spyce
Downtown. Saturday night. Claustrophobic. Low ‘floor’ stages perfect for mini-laps, but stage side contact was light and limited at best. Talent was almost exclusively young and white. Club seemed to have peculiar rules about where / when dancers are ‘allowed’ to talk to customers. None of the dancers talked to me so I bailed. Not my first choice downtown.
Sunset Strip
Tuesday, day shift. Not sure what to think of this place. A bit of a dive but far from the worst I’ve ever been to. Exceptional stage side mileage. More grinding than most places offer in LDs. Several comments by the dancers that more is possible on day shift, but at the same time I got a strong R.O.B. vide. The dancers here were very openly onto the fact that this was my first time here. Jury is out, but I would return to investigate further. Talent was good enough, but only about average.
Dolphin
Tuesday, day shift. Overall sad. Much newer (remodeled?) interior than I remember from (many) years ago. Three customers and four dancers. Two of the four dancers were well past their stripper expiration dates despite looking good for their ages. I would not return.
Xpose
Tuesday, day shift. Inconvenient location. Tiny parking lot. Nice enough / newer looking interior. Low ‘floor’ stages setup perfect for mini-laps but that did not seem to be on the menu. Totally disinterested dancers who only wanted sit at the bar and drink with their regulars. They were visibly annoyed that I wanted to see T&A and not drink. One super-hot dancer and at least one past here stripper expiration date. I would not return.
The Venue
Thursday, evening. Easy access from I-205. Nice parking lot. Club interior seemed well maintained / updated. Wide range of talent from a solid 10 (looked like my xATF) to 0s. A couple of regulars monopolizing the best dancers. I would return to investigate further.
Club 205
Thursday, evening. Also easy access from I-205, but not as nice of a parking situation. Sign on the door says they scan IDs. Much more of a dive than its neighbor. Most of the talent was underwhelming. However, there was one young, super cute dancer that interested me. Unfortunately, a regular was monopolizing her time. Personally, I’d rather spend my time and money across the street.
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4 comments
Club Rouge - a nighttime and weekend club only. Dayshift is dead. Mileage and strippers are much better at night. It's a great layout to me. I agree it's pricey.
Spyce - also a nighttime and weekend club only. I prefer it over Club Rouge for downtown. I've always found some good hotties there every time. It is a bit of a hustle club so you can't be passive. Private dances are good but expensive. To me it's the best downtown club for hot strippers but if you want the best mileage go to the Golden Dragon.
Sunset Strip - A sentimental favorite because I don't live far from it and I've had some good faves here over the years. They know me there and I get good regular treatment. There is a hustle/ROB vibe with some of the strippers but there are also some that simply aim to please. Mileage is always good in my experience. I don't like how they cap and end every song at 3 min. It's worth going back to.
Dolphin II - Yes overall sad. I've been there at all different times and have never been impressed with the stripper quality. And I've tried since again I don't live far from it and Sunset. It does have a good reputation for mileage amongst my fellow locals but I've never wanted to get dances there even with the best intentions.
Xpose - Totally agree. I've been in and left before finishing my drink several times for all your reasons stated.
The Venue - I was there when it was Mystic a few times. I always liked it better than Club205 because it had more of a neighborhood club feel than a hustle one.
Club205 - Not a bad club. Dancer quality is varied like you observed. I've always found at least one hottie. I stop in every now and then to try some strippers but it's never made it to my regular rotation list. It's decent, like the Venue.
Next time you come I suggest DV8 and Rose City Strip, my two favorite clubs in town. Try Sunset Strip again too. Stars Bridgeport is solid on the weekends at night. Also if you aren't feeling it at Spyce or Club Rouge downtown try the Golden Dragon. Columbia Strip is a small sleeper club that's hit and miss. It's better than Desire and Dancin' Bare which are nearby.
Dancin' Bare is quite possibly the worst dive club in Portland. I'll take the Dream On Saloon over it anyday.