meditations of a married man.

avatar for WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
New Jersey
i started clubbing at 30 when my gf of 5/2 years broke up with me over christmas break in my last year of law school. I thought we were going to get married soon after i graduated. i think she did too and that's why she split.

i went to law school in a different part of the country and i was home for the holidays. my best friend in the area was recently divorced and sold womanizing to me as a good way to live. despondent and lonely, i asked a pretty girl i knew out for drinks. she accepted and there was lots of flirting. but i was emotionally a mess and not ready to pull the trigger. i needed female companionship and most of my friends were working and busy with the holidays.

so i started going to strip clubs every night during break. i can't say i enjoyed it. but the clubs did provide a distraction from how bad i felt.

when i went back to school. i immediately starting dating this fat chic who had been throwing herself at me for the last year. i wasn't the least bit physically attracted to her. but she catered to my ego and kept me company at a time i felt horrible about myself and was terribly lonely.

i thought that at 29 years old, having been recently dumped i was alone and would be for some long time. i now know that being single at 29 is not the slightest thing and that actually dating gets easier as you get older. but at the time i didn't see that. i'll say two things for the fat chic. 1_ she sucked dick like a world champion. 2) she was smart and easy to be with.

a problem we had for a while was that i could not keep it up long enough to fuck that pussy. she would suck my dick and get it rock hard. i'd grab a condom, look at her and my dick would wilt. she'd finish me in her mouth but we both wanted to fuck.

over spring break i went home again and to the club i went. when i went back to the fat chic a week later my dick stayed hard and i fucked her like she was a complete hottie. the mental images of what had transpired in the club stayed with me me while i fucked the daylights out of the fat chic.

now the fat chic was a rebound girl and after graduation i broke up with her. but an interesting lesson came out of it, i had always focused on looks when looking for a gf. the girl who dumped me after 5 1/2 years was absolutely gorgeous. guys regularly commented on how he hot she was. she was also high maintenance and dumped me like a piece of garbage 3 days before christmas after 5 1/2 years. the fat chic on the other hand required only that i wasn't mean to her and treated me like a king. meanwhile the part of me who wanted hot chics was pretty content due to all the sc activities.

i came back home to jersey after graduation, got a job and joined match.com. i started flying through bitches. my system was to have two chics on the front burner who i was hooking up with and two chics on the back burner who i was chatting up on match. when i was ready to move a chic to the front burner one of the two current chics got dumped pretty soon.

now i was hooking up. but i was also tired. i asked my divorced womanizer friend, "how do you date so many girls" and he said "i do it because i'm insecure". honest enough answer. i had other responsibilities and didn't want to keep dating so many women.

so i settled on a nice educated, smart woman who treated me the way i wanted to be treated. she wasn't drop dead gorgeous. but i was attracted to her. i would have fucked her even if that's all i was looking for. but if that's all i was looking for i likely would have moved on fairly quickly.

that woman was not my current wife. but i did stay with her for a long time. the secret was the strip club. i got my hands on young tits and ass regularly so it was fine that my partner was attractive but not a total hottie. and it was all controlled. the strippers didn't know where to find me. i never gave out my number and we never met outside the club. i had my cake and ate it to. i didn't have to put up with the nonsense hot chics usually put you through. i got to hook up with hot chics all the time.

this is still my recommended system. but i did find years later that there were psychological complications associated with my methodology. in my next installment i'll explore the issues of guilt, secrecy and aging.

20 comments

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avatar for Muddy
Muddy
6 years ago
Well honestly Willy I always kinda figured you a troll, but I was wrong. I’m kinda dealing with the same shit. Could settle down. With a fat chick yes. But instead I chose to fuck hot ass strippers. This is a fine for the time being.
avatar for WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
6 years ago
strippers serve a purpose muddy :)
avatar for K1956
K1956
6 years ago
Damn that was deep. Hit on some real struggles. Society takes what's basic to us and uses it against us. Thanks for sharing.
avatar for JamesSD
JamesSD
6 years ago
Interesting that you came at it from this angle as opposed to the cliche "wife lost interest in sex and got fat two years after getting married" route.

It's also a shame how often the girls with the personality of your rebound chick and looks of your first love rarely go together. It's true with men too... Attractive guys often don't have to develop a personality.
avatar for MrDeuce
MrDeuce
6 years ago
Good read! I have two nits to pick:
(1) Why do you use no capital letters . . . ever?
(2) They're *chicks*! "Chic" is an adjective.
avatar for WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
6 years ago
mrdeuce afer i spilled a vodka tonic on my last laptop and destroyed it i bought a cheap acer chrome book for personal use since all i use it for is the internet. its fine but the caps lock button doesn't exist i have to hit alt and the magnifying glass at the same time. fuck that i work hard when i'm at work. when i'm expressing myself on the internet i'm a lazy fucker.

i think you're right; i misspelled chic
avatar for WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
6 years ago
k i like this ""Society takes what's basic to us and uses it against us." so true it feels like men have to apologize for being men
avatar for WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
6 years ago
james i'm telling ya except for a little guilt strippers are the perfect supplement for a wife. its impossible to have hot forever. women peek physically in their late teens early 20s. i don't want to be married to a woman in her 20s those women have no idea what my life is like. still want to inspect those titties though
avatar for Phxer
Phxer
6 years ago
I came here for this reason. My angle is full of cliches, and not really worth getting into, but the gist is the same. I want hot girls on my terms and my terms are less involved than a sugar daddy sort of thing. Wife is worn out and mostly disinterested, but I don't want to ruin the home life for my kids. I already put my older ones through divorce, so I've seen what that can do. Better to bite the bullet at home and find what I need in the club.

Problem is that I can never figure extras out. Never once happened. Dunno if I give off a LE vibe or I vibe like I'm not really in for that, or if I'm just in the wrong part of the country (mostly Portland).

What are your thoughts on extras?
avatar for WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
6 years ago
i'll tell you what. i've only been to portland once but i know in jersey the less nice the club is and the less bouncers there are the better off you are in terms of extras. i don't do otc because the one time i did i got freaked that i was going to be robbed and cut it off early. but itc some clubs are extra havens and some aren't. read reviews in your area and try pming some folks in your area. if you ever go to jersey i know some places where at the very least high mileage is readily available.
avatar for WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
6 years ago
and my view on extras is if you don't get an std, don't have a run in with le and don't go broke have yourself fun.
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
6 years ago
As a married former monger, I appreciate this article @WILLY. I don't club anymore out of respect for my wife. Long story short I pushed the boundaries of an acceptable amount of clubbing that she allowed too far and so we both agreed it is best for our marriage that I don't club. She's still OK with me on rare occasions like when either one of us is travelling alone, but for the most part I'm writing strippers off for the foreseeable future. If I do club again behind her back, it's now with the full understanding that it puts our marriage in serious jeopardy.

I had a great time with it all for the most part, in short, strippers are a good stress relief, but in retrospect I can't say it was without guilt. In retrospect I should have been more up front with my wife about it all. Anyway, notwithstanding punctuation it was a good article.
avatar for JAprufrock
JAprufrock
6 years ago
Being a thinner guy, especially back in the say, I wasn't attracted to heavier gals, but I dated one who I'd describe as chunky when I was in my early 20s. Despite being sexually experienced, she gave lousy head (used teeth) and every time we went to fuck I went limp and couldn't go through with it (which probably didn't help her self-confidence), but I enjoyed playing with and sucking on her tits and making out with her. Most importantly, she provided companionship when I was feeling alone and down, and looking back, I'm glad I treated her well even though I took her for granted.
Now that I'm down and alone again, after my 15-year marriage dissolved, I think back to that relationship and some of the enjoyable times we shared (mostly going to pizza places, bars, movies) and would relish experiencing that again. I enjoy and need the sexual contact I have received from pros at strip clubs and massage places -- most of them attractive ladies -- but sometimes I long for a relationship on a more personal level, which you probably can't get from a pro.


Now that I'm down and alone again
avatar for WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
6 years ago
@sir glad you liked it. if you have a good marriage and she's down with sc i def think you should stay away or keep to a min. sounds like you don't need me to tell you that though.
avatar for WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
6 years ago
ja if you're genuinely looking for companionship go on match.com. that shit is ridiculously efficient. you can message 50 girls to your liking in less than an hour. before you know it you'll have someone to talk to who has a vagina.
avatar for JAprufrock
JAprufrock
6 years ago
^^^^Thanks, man. As much as I enjoy mongering, it really sucks being alone sometimes.
avatar for larryfisherman
larryfisherman
6 years ago
Solid read
avatar for Trool2000
Trool2000
6 years ago
The mileage in SC used to be fantastic, loved going to clubs and could drop 100 or so and have a great time and leave a happy camper. Well, things have changed, costs are up and mileage is way down on the activities. I have turned to some under the radar massage gals and a few MILFS that provide solid service with guaranteed results. The gals are out there they need some attention and are horny as hell.
avatar for Nebulay
Nebulay
6 years ago
Been a member for years, read a lot of articles. This is a gem for sure. Nice post?
avatar for WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
6 years ago
thanks green. appreciate that
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