meditations of a married man.
WILLYSGOTAWOMAN
New Jersey
Sunday, December 30, 2018 6:01 AM
i started clubbing at 30 when my gf of 5/2 years broke up with me over christmas break in my last year of law school. I thought we were going to get married soon after i graduated. i think she did too and that's why she split.
i went to law school in a different part of the country and i was home for the holidays. my best friend in the area was recently divorced and sold womanizing to me as a good way to live. despondent and lonely, i asked a pretty girl i knew out for drinks. she accepted and there was lots of flirting. but i was emotionally a mess and not ready to pull the trigger. i needed female companionship and most of my friends were working and busy with the holidays.
so i started going to strip clubs every night during break. i can't say i enjoyed it. but the clubs did provide a distraction from how bad i felt.
when i went back to school. i immediately starting dating this fat chic who had been throwing herself at me for the last year. i wasn't the least bit physically attracted to her. but she catered to my ego and kept me company at a time i felt horrible about myself and was terribly lonely.
i thought that at 29 years old, having been recently dumped i was alone and would be for some long time. i now know that being single at 29 is not the slightest thing and that actually dating gets easier as you get older. but at the time i didn't see that. i'll say two things for the fat chic. 1_ she sucked dick like a world champion. 2) she was smart and easy to be with.
a problem we had for a while was that i could not keep it up long enough to fuck that pussy. she would suck my dick and get it rock hard. i'd grab a condom, look at her and my dick would wilt. she'd finish me in her mouth but we both wanted to fuck.
over spring break i went home again and to the club i went. when i went back to the fat chic a week later my dick stayed hard and i fucked her like she was a complete hottie. the mental images of what had transpired in the club stayed with me me while i fucked the daylights out of the fat chic.
now the fat chic was a rebound girl and after graduation i broke up with her. but an interesting lesson came out of it, i had always focused on looks when looking for a gf. the girl who dumped me after 5 1/2 years was absolutely gorgeous. guys regularly commented on how he hot she was. she was also high maintenance and dumped me like a piece of garbage 3 days before christmas after 5 1/2 years. the fat chic on the other hand required only that i wasn't mean to her and treated me like a king. meanwhile the part of me who wanted hot chics was pretty content due to all the sc activities.
i came back home to jersey after graduation, got a job and joined match.com. i started flying through bitches. my system was to have two chics on the front burner who i was hooking up with and two chics on the back burner who i was chatting up on match. when i was ready to move a chic to the front burner one of the two current chics got dumped pretty soon.
now i was hooking up. but i was also tired. i asked my divorced womanizer friend, "how do you date so many girls" and he said "i do it because i'm insecure". honest enough answer. i had other responsibilities and didn't want to keep dating so many women.
so i settled on a nice educated, smart woman who treated me the way i wanted to be treated. she wasn't drop dead gorgeous. but i was attracted to her. i would have fucked her even if that's all i was looking for. but if that's all i was looking for i likely would have moved on fairly quickly.
that woman was not my current wife. but i did stay with her for a long time. the secret was the strip club. i got my hands on young tits and ass regularly so it was fine that my partner was attractive but not a total hottie. and it was all controlled. the strippers didn't know where to find me. i never gave out my number and we never met outside the club. i had my cake and ate it to. i didn't have to put up with the nonsense hot chics usually put you through. i got to hook up with hot chics all the time.
this is still my recommended system. but i did find years later that there were psychological complications associated with my methodology. in my next installment i'll explore the issues of guilt, secrecy and aging.
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