The Chase, or instant gratification?
georgmicrodong
Just a fat, creepy old pervert.
There was a time when I would have said “gimme the instant gratification” almost exclusively. Walk in, sift through the chaff to find the wheat, and go do our thing, or rather, *my* thing, then leave. Going to a club was a shopping trip, but one where I was just looking for a good mix of quality and bargain, not really “hunting.” There was still a class of stripper/hooker that was unacceptable to me, but the rest were pretty much ok.
Looking back, that changed around the turn of the century, when I realized I would probably be staying in Louisville for the rest of my life, or at least the rest of my *working* life.
At that point, with my wife working nights and the kids able to fend for themselves, I started spending more extended time in clubs, entire evenings instead of just a couple hours.
Of course, I’d always been aware that there was a group of girls who were unlikely to give me what I want, but I didn’t bother to spend a lot of time pursuing them beyond ascertaining that they wouldn’t. Why bother, when there are plenty who will?
But now, spending more time in clubs, sitting, drinking and bullshitting, it pretty rapidly became apparent that, while those girls weren’t on the market, some of them weren’t precisely *off* the market, either, however much convincing it might take.
My ATF and the MILF are two such. My ATF was a definite “no” for a long time, though we did a fair bit of cuddling and light necking. When I started spending less money on her, she noticed, and she’d gotten comfortable enough with me that she finally agreed to do more, and eventually meet OTC.
I’m sure there are probably more than a few people here who don’t believe that my ATF and I have the relationship that we do, but we do, and I can’t help but think that a big part of the reason for that is the fact that it took so long to get to the actual p4p part. I’ve come to believe, for reasons I’ve stated elsewhere, that I was the only one with whom she’d gone as far as we had. All in all, I’d have to say things worked out pretty well, if not as I’d ever have expected.
The MILF was even more definite, just a straight up “never gonna happen.” It took a long time, and then a moderate degree of persistence one day in a VIP. I started playing, just as I always did, but this time I pushed the envelope just a little bit. She put up a little initial resistance, covering herself with her hand when I kissed too close. Then, after a little cat and mouse, where I’d kiss her hand, then move away, then go back, I heard her whisper “ah, fuck it,” she moved her hand away and let me finish her off.
These two instances are probably the best sexual experiences I’ve ever had with strippers, and they were both the result of a long term investment with girls who were, if not completely chaste with customers, at least very low volume. And having sex with someone who actually *wants* to be there, instead of someone trying to get it over and done with as quickly as possible in order to be on to the next PL? Priceless.
To be fair, it’s not the “chase” per se, but rather the satisfaction of *good* sex with a willing *and* enthusiastic partner that comes *after* the chase. I still go for the quick nut now and again, because, why not? But spending the time “chasing” a good one is way more appealing now.
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Took me a while ot realize it was business for these girls no-matter how flirty they were and good they were at it (I did not SC as much back then nor was a TUSCLer thus took me a while to see the SC game for what it was); thus it became business for me also where it was about getting my physical thrills and not much else.
As I got older into my 30s I was fairly sure I was not gonna get married - really didn't have a big desire for the responsibilities of a wife and family - and little by little over time started losing interest in civvie relationships as I didn't want the overhead of civvie relationships and feeling like I was married when I was not.
Thus losing interest in civvie relationships, I also lost what little interest I had in possibly dating a stripper or getting involved w/ one beyond services rendered - meaning I did not put much effort into working/investing-in any particular dancer.
I guess my point is that perhaps those guys that like being in relationships, or are used to being in relationships, may opt for a "relationship" type interaction w/ a fave; whereas I've not had that feeling w.r.t. strippers for a long time.
I can def acknowledge/understand the advantages of being a regular; it's just that as I've often stated I love variety - besides getting bored being w/ the chick over and over again, if at this point in my life I don't want a relationship w/ a civvie, then feels even less sensical to me to have one w/ a stripper - and why I don't tend to build long-term/more-personal relationships w/ dancers and perhaps be in a position where I get some type of exclusive treatment - which I'm fine with.
But even then - I've found that many dancers do evolve - although I don't have fave dancers that I go to a club to specifically see, I do run into the same dancers over time in the 4 or 5 clubs in my rotation - i.e. I've met dancers that were not very high-mileage when I first got dances w/ them that eventually would give me high-mileage and/or extras - whether that was in part b/c they got more comfortable w/ me over time, or them just getting more comfortable w/ stripping, many dancers do evolve (just as many long term custies do also).
I'm not interested in strip-club relationships, for me each visit is treated as a new/different, and hopefully fun adventure - familiarity does not excite me does nor a "stripper girlfriend" per se.
Seems many long-term custies evolve to the fave(s) model, and the extra-attention one may get as a regular does look appealing to me, but being w/ the same girl over and over again over time does not appeal to me.
For me strip-clubs are sorta like restaurants - i.e. I go to a restaurant to eat not necessarily socialize and hang-out - thus w/ SCs I don't necessarily go to them to socialize or hang-out nor make-it more than the physical aspect of it - I rather socialize and build relationships in a different type of setting - for me "conquering" a stripper, for lack of a better word, is not something that's on my mind or of interest to me - I like strip-clubs b/c of the lack of the need to chase where strippers actually kinda "chase" you - def don't feel much desire or need to chase a particular stripper to get a particular type of experience - not saying it's totally not worthwhile, just not anything that necessarily interests me.
I feel I get what I need from strip-clubs on a per visit basis w/o having to focus on a specific dancer and invest time and $$$ on her over time - for the most-part any dancer I find attractive will satisfy me just like I don't depend on just one specific restaurant to satisfy my eating-out needs/desires.
She volunteered her phone number when we first met and I’ve been sparingly using it, not wanting to come on too strong. On our first VIP she stroked my dick through my pants and I LDKed. The second time she freed my dick and gave a great HJ with a few kisses on my dick. I pressed for a full BJ but she declined, saying next time. I’m hoping to have some DATY too. But it’s not just the happy ending. She’s confiding with me, she’s learning to begin to trust. I always preface a request with a disclaimer that if I ask for something she’s not comfortable with, just say no. It’s not a dealbreaker. She drives back and forth with another dancer and they get a hotel & work 3 shifts in 2 days. I’ve offered them my guest room & guest bathroom free ( with visions of a threesome) but one thing at a time.
I went through a similar “chase” years ago while my ATF was in Mexico & Hawaii for a couple of months. That ended with a great OTC at her apartment. It’s all good clean fun.
Also, i tend to go to the same few clubs over and over again (like once or twice a month or so for years) due to location and opportunity and these "relationships" just inevitably develop over time. I'll remember the good ones, and hopefully for the most part, they'll remember me. So i don't really have much of a choice in being anonymous or unknown and try to make the best of it and find something that works for me. The good news is that new hot dancers come in all the time. The bad news is sometimes, the girl you were working on for a while just up and quits and also a lot of those new hot dancers don't stick around long, if much at all, either.
Subraman has written a thesis on this. (some where in TUSCL site)
RickDugan is another Pro. JS69 as well.
To some extent many of us go through the phases you describe.
From P2P as a business transaction with a "Pro" on the fairer side - to more involved affair with the fairer side being more exotic, engaging and possibly exclusive.
Really our mind controls sex. I'd imagine a PhD would get tired of "wam. bam. thank you mam." pretty soon - and would want something more stimulating. While a farm hand could enjoy straight up sex everyday forever. To each its own.
One thing most guys get wrong is the belief that every dancer is either an extras girl or a non-extras girl. There's a vast spectrum of in-between where 90% of the dancers reside.
The pros score what many guys had written off as "non-extras".
Just something to keep in mind - in case one is tired of transactional sex.
SJG