More Than "Just Friends"?
anonlvone
Texas
So I've had this friend for awhile now. We first met in a men's club, and have kept in touch ever since. I now consider her my best friend because we have a lot of interests in common and whenever we get together the conversation just never ends. So recently I was over at her place being Mr. Tool Guy, and the first thing that surprised me was that when she greeted me at the door she clearly hadn't dressed yet because she was only wearing a t-shirt. So I started doing my thing, and while I'm working she's running around wondering out loud what she should wear and how she should fix her hair, and in the back of my head I'm thinking, you know, the last time a girl entertained me in her apartment only wearing a t-shirt she wanted me to fuck her. So then the next surprise I get is when she appears out of the shower only wearing a towel, and in the back of my head I'm thinking, you know, the last time a girl entertained me in her apartment only wearing a towel she wanted me to fuck her. So I get back to work, and the next surprise I get is when I hear her walk past me yet again, and when I look up she's standing just a few feet away completely nude. Now if you're wondering what the big deal is, since we met in a men's club, well, that was a topless club, more than a year and a half ago, and I stopped getting dances from her after just one week. I don't even think of her as a dancer anymore, it's been so long since she quit. In my mind she's just a civilian. The other thing is, she's really young, she was barely 18 when I first met her, so seeing a 19 year old girl, fully nude in broad daylight is definitely a big deal with me. So anyway, I finished what I was doing, she got dressed, and we went out for the evening.
So I've already mentioned how young she is. Whenever we're together I'll see guys doing surprised double takes as they discreetly give her appreciative looks. I've never had a guy give me a dirty look though. Women on the other hand can be straight up bitches. Some of them will give her dirty or hostile looks, and I really have no idea what is going through their heads. Others seem to assume we're a couple, and lately we've found ourselves having to explain that we're "just friends." And still others will seem to understand that we're currently just platonic friends, but even they seem to assume that eventually we're going to get together, and I'm thinking this must be some kind of women's intuition going on. But now that I think about it, I've probably been missing some signals all along, because we've shared food with one another since the beginning, and the first few times we met we were already getting into three-hour long discussions. She first called me the first night we met, and she will routinely text me at all hours of the night, but I guess I didn't think much of any of this because that's just how we've always been with one another.
My current girlfriend is going to be leaving in a few months to take up a new job elsewhere. And I know she's not entirely happy with her current boyfriend. Until now I'd always assumed a relationship was out of the question given the age difference between us, but obviously I'm now reconsidering. Before now, the largest age gap with a girlfriend was about 12 years, but this would be more than double that. Yeah I know celebrities and actors and politicians do this all the time, but I'm just an ordinary guy. Anyway, I really care about this girl, and I'm still hesitant to even entertain the idea of dating her due to the age difference, but if she ever seriously tried to jump my bones there's no way I'd be able to say no to her.
So have any of you ever dated a girl when there was a really large age difference, and if so, what was that like? I'd be interested in any feedback or advice you might have. And if you have any questions feel free to ask, but just understand that I worry I've already given far too much information as it is, so I don't know how many more details I care to provide.
So I've already mentioned how young she is. Whenever we're together I'll see guys doing surprised double takes as they discreetly give her appreciative looks. I've never had a guy give me a dirty look though. Women on the other hand can be straight up bitches. Some of them will give her dirty or hostile looks, and I really have no idea what is going through their heads. Others seem to assume we're a couple, and lately we've found ourselves having to explain that we're "just friends." And still others will seem to understand that we're currently just platonic friends, but even they seem to assume that eventually we're going to get together, and I'm thinking this must be some kind of women's intuition going on. But now that I think about it, I've probably been missing some signals all along, because we've shared food with one another since the beginning, and the first few times we met we were already getting into three-hour long discussions. She first called me the first night we met, and she will routinely text me at all hours of the night, but I guess I didn't think much of any of this because that's just how we've always been with one another.
My current girlfriend is going to be leaving in a few months to take up a new job elsewhere. And I know she's not entirely happy with her current boyfriend. Until now I'd always assumed a relationship was out of the question given the age difference between us, but obviously I'm now reconsidering. Before now, the largest age gap with a girlfriend was about 12 years, but this would be more than double that. Yeah I know celebrities and actors and politicians do this all the time, but I'm just an ordinary guy. Anyway, I really care about this girl, and I'm still hesitant to even entertain the idea of dating her due to the age difference, but if she ever seriously tried to jump my bones there's no way I'd be able to say no to her.
So have any of you ever dated a girl when there was a really large age difference, and if so, what was that like? I'd be interested in any feedback or advice you might have. And if you have any questions feel free to ask, but just understand that I worry I've already given far too much information as it is, so I don't know how many more details I care to provide.
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29 comments
And if you don't mind my asking, why is that you decided to tell us about it? Are you looking for approval, bragging, or what?
I have never disclosed actions with a woman except in the broadest of brush and even more, when they were long long ago. My intimacies with them and my relationship with them are private.
SJG
i didn't want anything to happen with her. i already have a girlfriend, and i've thought of her as a friend only. the last time we met, she actually seemed to be complaining that i had "friend-zoned" her. as for what I would like to see, i guess maybe i'd like someone to tell me this is a really bad idea lol
if you think i'm bragging you have me confused with someone else. what is it exactly you think i would be bragging about? her age? if anything it just makes things awkward. my final paragraph explains my thinking very clearly. i really wish she was just a few years older.
SJG
Since both of you have a SO - just be discreet.
I'd compensate for her time and the lovemaking is mutual decision of adults without involving money.
In most cases the young woman grows up and the lust wanes. She finds a more compatible boyfriend closer to her age. You are free for the next adventure. And you can continue to be friends for a long time.
;)
make up your mind please
@anon, What you said there is as clear a signal as you’ll ever get. You coulda tapped it right then and there but instead you completed the handyman work then you took her “out for the evening,” apparently to dinner and a movie or whatever. I don’t get it. Great, so she’s your “best friend” and you’ve got a girlfriend. Why the heck you’re over there doing handyman work and not catching on to the nude 19 year old in front of you is beyond me. What in the world are you waiting for? For her to deal naked cartwheels while screaming “Let’s have sex!”?
SJG
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Do you want to have sex with her? Or just like the fantasy? If you want to know if it’s stiill an option, I’d say hey, remember the time you walk up on me naked and see where it leads.
@Forksbro - She's very attractive. I've been trying not to act on the attraction. I don't care that she was once a stripper. But I do care about the fact that I've never dated a girl where the age difference would be so great. I once dated a girl who was 12 years younger, and occasionally people would think she was my daughter, because she didn't look her age either. With this girl the age difference would be twice as great. On the other hand, she's starting to force the issue, so I'm pretty sure I know where this is going. I don't have to ask if it's still an option. She's pretty much told me it is. The (mutual) attraction has always been there from the beginning. We've just never dealt with it.