More Than "Just Friends"?

avatar for anonlvone
anonlvone
Texas
So I've had this friend for awhile now. We first met in a men's club, and have kept in touch ever since. I now consider her my best friend because we have a lot of interests in common and whenever we get together the conversation just never ends. So recently I was over at her place being Mr. Tool Guy, and the first thing that surprised me was that when she greeted me at the door she clearly hadn't dressed yet because she was only wearing a t-shirt. So I started doing my thing, and while I'm working she's running around wondering out loud what she should wear and how she should fix her hair, and in the back of my head I'm thinking, you know, the last time a girl entertained me in her apartment only wearing a t-shirt she wanted me to fuck her. So then the next surprise I get is when she appears out of the shower only wearing a towel, and in the back of my head I'm thinking, you know, the last time a girl entertained me in her apartment only wearing a towel she wanted me to fuck her. So I get back to work, and the next surprise I get is when I hear her walk past me yet again, and when I look up she's standing just a few feet away completely nude. Now if you're wondering what the big deal is, since we met in a men's club, well, that was a topless club, more than a year and a half ago, and I stopped getting dances from her after just one week. I don't even think of her as a dancer anymore, it's been so long since she quit. In my mind she's just a civilian. The other thing is, she's really young, she was barely 18 when I first met her, so seeing a 19 year old girl, fully nude in broad daylight is definitely a big deal with me. So anyway, I finished what I was doing, she got dressed, and we went out for the evening.

So I've already mentioned how young she is. Whenever we're together I'll see guys doing surprised double takes as they discreetly give her appreciative looks. I've never had a guy give me a dirty look though. Women on the other hand can be straight up bitches. Some of them will give her dirty or hostile looks, and I really have no idea what is going through their heads. Others seem to assume we're a couple, and lately we've found ourselves having to explain that we're "just friends." And still others will seem to understand that we're currently just platonic friends, but even they seem to assume that eventually we're going to get together, and I'm thinking this must be some kind of women's intuition going on. But now that I think about it, I've probably been missing some signals all along, because we've shared food with one another since the beginning, and the first few times we met we were already getting into three-hour long discussions. She first called me the first night we met, and she will routinely text me at all hours of the night, but I guess I didn't think much of any of this because that's just how we've always been with one another.

My current girlfriend is going to be leaving in a few months to take up a new job elsewhere. And I know she's not entirely happy with her current boyfriend. Until now I'd always assumed a relationship was out of the question given the age difference between us, but obviously I'm now reconsidering. Before now, the largest age gap with a girlfriend was about 12 years, but this would be more than double that. Yeah I know celebrities and actors and politicians do this all the time, but I'm just an ordinary guy. Anyway, I really care about this girl, and I'm still hesitant to even entertain the idea of dating her due to the age difference, but if she ever seriously tried to jump my bones there's no way I'd be able to say no to her.

So have any of you ever dated a girl when there was a really large age difference, and if so, what was that like? I'd be interested in any feedback or advice you might have. And if you have any questions feel free to ask, but just understand that I worry I've already given far too much information as it is, so I don't know how many more details I care to provide.

29 comments

Jump to latest
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
7 years ago
anonlvon, so you said she is your friend and such. This is unlikely with young women, as they have their own agendas. What is it you wanted to happen with her, and what is it you would like to see happen now?

And if you don't mind my asking, why is that you decided to tell us about it? Are you looking for approval, bragging, or what?

I have never disclosed actions with a woman except in the broadest of brush and even more, when they were long long ago. My intimacies with them and my relationship with them are private.

SJG
avatar for anonlvone
anonlvone
7 years ago
so only young women have their own agendas? no one else?

i didn't want anything to happen with her. i already have a girlfriend, and i've thought of her as a friend only. the last time we met, she actually seemed to be complaining that i had "friend-zoned" her. as for what I would like to see, i guess maybe i'd like someone to tell me this is a really bad idea lol

if you think i'm bragging you have me confused with someone else. what is it exactly you think i would be bragging about? her age? if anything it just makes things awkward. my final paragraph explains my thinking very clearly. i really wish she was just a few years older.
avatar for vajmon
vajmon
7 years ago
Age is just a number bro! She's an ex-stripper which means she's probably DTF. you want to bone her, so what's the problem? I'm almost 51 and regularly fuck strippers and hookers that are 30+ years younger than me (Years ago I even did a "Roy Moore";) Doesn't bother those ladies, doesn't bother me, so why should it bother anyone else? I do sometimes take shit from people when I go out to restaurants, shopping, etc. I get the smart ass remarks like "you have a beautiful daughter" or "granddaughter" if they think they're really funny. One old battle ax even told me I made her sick when I was in the elevator with her and my DS. But who cares. People that say this shit are all losers that can't handle seeing me live the dream- a well off, fat, balding, ugly, out of shape, old man with a beautiful young woman. So don't let these losers win. Go bone that chick! Fuck the age difference! The only person that will stop you from enjoying the experience is YOU!!!
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
7 years ago
Young women are the ones most likely to try and steer things their way by using indirect means.

SJG
avatar for rogertex
rogertex
7 years ago
She wants to fuck you.
Since both of you have a SO - just be discreet.

I'd compensate for her time and the lovemaking is mutual decision of adults without involving money.

In most cases the young woman grows up and the lust wanes. She finds a more compatible boyfriend closer to her age. You are free for the next adventure. And you can continue to be friends for a long time.
avatar for anonlvone
anonlvone
7 years ago
we passed the point of compensating her for her time a while back. she won't take my money anymore - i've tried. but you are correct that i don't want to ruin the friendship we have
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
7 years ago
in two weeks i'll be enjoying ladies 50 years younger than me...

;)
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
7 years ago
and i would be balls deep fucking her before the end of your opening paragraph...
avatar for anonlvone
anonlvone
7 years ago
you have to go to hk (Hong Kong?) to get pussy, and recently posted this: "at my age of almost 68 and not a celebrity nor flush with money i just don't have what it takes for a pretty 18-23 year old lady."

make up your mind please
avatar for anonlvone
anonlvone
7 years ago
you're speaking w/o knowing the situation and w/o knowing the girl. i had my hands full at the time, we discussed it afterwards, and we're closer now and she's more interested now than before this happened
avatar for anonlvone
anonlvone
7 years ago
you really have nothing better to do with your time than troll? first justme, then taxidriver, and now you. what the three of you seem to know about women would probably fit on a postcard.
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
7 years ago
anonlvone. i don't have your charm to have a platonic close relationship with a very young lady.
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
7 years ago
as to what i know about women... it would fill a book of blank pages.
avatar for anonlvone
anonlvone
7 years ago
no need to keep repeating yourself justme: "i just don't have what it takes for a pretty 18-23 year old lady." but chin up, maybe you can fill up those blank pages while you and mdfm are in HK or TJ or wherever it is you go to forget that American women are out of your reach
avatar for anonlvone
anonlvone
7 years ago
mdfmk888: "So anon - it sounds like you're telling taxi_driver..."
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
7 years ago
mr anonlvone. i also enjoy usa women. i simply don't spend huge amounts on usa girls anymore. but i still enjoy close encounters of the best kind at a more reasonable rate.
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
7 years ago
on both sides of the border.
avatar for DeclineToState
DeclineToState
7 years ago
“So I get back to work, and the next surprise I get is when I hear her walk past me yet again, and when I look up she's standing just a few feet away completely nude.”

@anon, What you said there is as clear a signal as you’ll ever get. You coulda tapped it right then and there but instead you completed the handyman work then you took her “out for the evening,” apparently to dinner and a movie or whatever. I don’t get it. Great, so she’s your “best friend” and you’ve got a girlfriend. Why the heck you’re over there doing handyman work and not catching on to the nude 19 year old in front of you is beyond me. What in the world are you waiting for? For her to deal naked cartwheels while screaming “Let’s have sex!”?
avatar for anonlvone
anonlvone
7 years ago
@vajmon, san_jose_guy, rogertex and MisterT - thanks for the questions and the advice. i guess i made this post b/c seeing her nude made me lose my head momentarily. but the thing is, i've never cheated on a girlfriend and i don't intend to start now, also, i've had enough drama in my life to last seven lifetimes, so i'll just bide my time until we're both single, which i expect isn't that far off
avatar for Roadworrier
Roadworrier
7 years ago
Discretion is the best thing. Always easier when you are in a different city not hanging around with friends or coworkers in the same hotel. :) As for age, I’m in my late 50s and the SC girls who seem most attracted to me are in their early 30s, The only ones I’m generally able to go young (i.e. early 20s) with tend to be escorts/hookers/courtesans/ho’s.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
7 years ago
Anonlvon, yes women know how to do that, make a guy lose his head. And they do it strategically too, just like they will tell you that you are their friend, strategically.

SJG

Alabama’s Lessons for the Democratic Party, audio and text
https://www.democracynow.org/2017/12/14/…
avatar for anonlvone
anonlvone
7 years ago
@Roadworrier - I don't think I'm any different from you. At work or out about town, I tend to get looks from women in their mid to late 20's up to about 32, which is also the same age range I find the most attractive. This girl is definitely an exception. And while I understand SJG's skepticism, it really just comes down to compatiblity. We get along really, really well, and we always have.
avatar for Forksbro
Forksbro
7 years ago
I understand u don’t want to cheat on your girl, but then you say “but if she ever seriously tried to jump my bones there's no way I'd be able to say no to her.”
Do you want to have sex with her? Or just like the fantasy? If you want to know if it’s stiill an option, I’d say hey, remember the time you walk up on me naked and see where it leads.
avatar for Roadworrier
Roadworrier
7 years ago
All that said, @anon, after my own OTC experience with a 30-something gal who had been one of my two ATFs, I knew that I was being seen as a Sugar Daddy. And with few benefits in return, that ended it for me. I have no problems with being a friend to a stripper who seems to have her head fairly together, but without the sex, what’s the point?
avatar for anonlvone
anonlvone
7 years ago
@Roadworrier - Initially she saw me somewhat as a Sugar Daddy. Not anymore. That ended about a year ago. And the benefit is that I enjoy her company. There's more to value about her than just her body. I also don't have anything to prove. I've dated strippers before, so her stripper past is a non-issue for me, in that I don't view her as a potential conquest.

@Forksbro - She's very attractive. I've been trying not to act on the attraction. I don't care that she was once a stripper. But I do care about the fact that I've never dated a girl where the age difference would be so great. I once dated a girl who was 12 years younger, and occasionally people would think she was my daughter, because she didn't look her age either. With this girl the age difference would be twice as great. On the other hand, she's starting to force the issue, so I'm pretty sure I know where this is going. I don't have to ask if it's still an option. She's pretty much told me it is. The (mutual) attraction has always been there from the beginning. We've just never dealt with it.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
7 years ago
Don't worry anon, you're not at serious risk of dating this girl. Her running around naked was not an accident. She is stringing you along and knows you well enough by now to be comfortable that your herbivore personality would prevent you from doing something that she didn't want. I'm sure this won't be the last favor you'll be doing for her.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
7 years ago
What I find mind boggling is that anyone would think dating a stripper is an "accomplishment". My guess is those who do also feel like a big shot when the manager comps their Big Mac, fries and coke.
avatar for anonlvone
anonlvone
7 years ago
@skibum - I've never considered it an "accomplishment." I thought I had made that clear all along?
avatar for anonlvone
anonlvone
7 years ago
@skibum - she's also not a stripper. Tried it for a while, didn't like it, that one experience doesn't define who she is for the rest of her life. Do you always miss the obvious things or is this something new?
You must be a member to leave a comment.Join Now

Want 4 weeks free VIP to tuscl?

Write an article