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Here’s a six-month retrospective on the experience of dating a stripper. I’ll answer any questions in the comments. This article took much longer to write than I expected. Writing it helped me work through some of my thoughts about my situation. It was a cathartic experience.

I made a couple of forum posts about my stripper girlfriend before (https://www.tuscl.net/?page=post&id=4895…, https://www.tuscl.net/?page=post&id=4969…). She was on my radar while I had a previous favorite at the same club. When that previous favorite retired, I moved in on her. We felt an instant connection on our first trip outside the club and after a few more OTCs, she said she had feelings for me. She said ‘I love you’ during sex. I quit going to the club and stopped paying her for dates. I had my own “ILY” confession about a month and a half later. Six months after that, here we are.

We’re a good match. Physically, she is exactly my type. She’s beautiful and has that classic Latina look with long black hair, dark eyes, big butt. She also has jumbo porn star breast implants. The stars with most similar look I can think of would be Lisa Ann or Rebeca Linares, maybe Bridgette B if she had black hair. When we’re out together, she absolutely turns heads. For example, in Las Vegas, random dudes walked up and asked for a picture with her, three different times. When I visit the restroom in a restaurant or bar, guys who saw us together asked ‘Is that your wife? She sure is beautiful.’ Sometimes on the sidewalk, a passerby tells me “Wow, you’re a lucky man.”

She has a great personality, too. She is playful and full of energy. She loves to laugh and is not too serious. Her attitude is positive and optimistic, probably the absolute minimum of bitchiness possible for a woman. I appreciate how she has a mature approach to conflict resolution. Of course we have disagreements and sometimes feel angry with each other, but so far we’ve talked through it without ugly yelling, crying or drama. She’s pretty forthcoming and honest, too. She’s free of alcohol and substance abuse. She loves to fuck. We have sex two or three times each day we’re together, sometimes more. Confirming the Latina stereotype, she insists on cooking for me when I visit her home. And she keeps her home nice and clean.

Sounds good, right? Well, there’s that one problem: She works at a full service extras club and has been in the game for decades. From what she says she makes on weeknights and weekends, she earns more than most doctors or lawyers, but she says she made so much more when she was younger. She casually mentions stories from her glory days. Insane gifts from wealthy PLs, like new luxury cars, $XX,XXX one-of-a-kind dresses, rent paid for multiple upscale condos in different cities simultaneously. All strippers, escorts and porn stars get a taste of this, but it sounds to me like she made it to the top of the pile. With her personality and stunning looks I’m not surprised. She attended elite parties and dated famous athletes, musicians and actors. On the merit of these experiences, she feels like she was a celebrity too. When she reflects on those stories, she speaks like she is a big star, recounting their life’s work.

Well, why not? You only live once. I genuinely believe she is a good person. Besides, I’d be a hypocrite if I said what she does is wrong, since I’ve been on the other side many times. I have no regrets over what I did, and in fact I’m very happy with the memories I made. So I don’t think she’s immoral for her actions either. But this is still fucking tough. It isn’t tough because of morality or right and wrong. It’s tough because of how people make relationships, and how they connect with the person they care about. Try as you will, you won’t supercede your nature through logic or rational thinking.

I checked out some archived reviews for one of the defunct clubs she worked at 15 years ago, which described the club as high volume, all out brothel. Well, that makes me feel just great. And the club she’s at now is the same shit. It’s all fun and blowjobs when you’re the customer, but this shit is no picnic when your girl is doing the work. I’ve felt physically sick and couldn’t sleep when I’ve seen current reviews posted about her. I hate every sentence in those fucking reviews. Review details that are standard or even irrelevant grate against my soul like I never expected. It fucking kills me when I see lube and a bunch of condoms in her ‘work purse.’ I feel angry when PLs call or text her when we’re together. Especially when she is showing me something on her phone and the message pops up on the screen and I can read it. I get queasy when she mentions the money she made on a shift, because I instantly translate the amount into the number of cocks she handled that night. Even though I feel proud to be with her when I see other guys envying me, I also sometimes feel bad about myself. What kind of person am I for accepting this situation? Does the fact that I stay with her when she fucks hundreds of other guys make me the WPLOAT, even though I don’t pay her anything? The stronger I feel for her, the harder it gets. I can’t continue like this.

But I haven’t let on to her that it bothers me. I’ve kept a poker face because I want her to continue being candid with me. Hard as it is when she casually talks about her work, it would be worse if I felt she was hiding things or sugarcoating. I also don’t want to sound off just to make her feel bad. Despite relishing her celebrity glory days, she does feel shame at a female instinctual level. She’s been saying she wants out since our very first OTC. But by the same instincts she will eventually lose respect for me if I don’t come down on her about it.

So I’ll tell my feelings when she’s finalized an end date. I want her to understand that it’s hard for me and I don’t want her to go back. I want her to know that I’ve chosen to accept the issue so far, but if she returns to strip clubs and prostitution after quitting, I won’t accept it. Not for a one-off OTC with an old customer, not for whatever. No more. I’ll view any sex-acts-for-money the same as cheating and will end the relationship if she does it. If there’s no concrete end in sight by spring, I’ll tell her where I’m at, and that I want her to have a specific plan to move on from the club by X number of days or I’m out. It gets tougher each month and I can’t go on indefinitely.

According to what she’s told me about her plans, she’ll hang up the heels for good within three to six months of this post. There’s no specific end date though. She has a civilian business venture in mind and is planning it out. I want her to succeed. But she’s quit before. Not since I’ve been with her, but she’s mentioned multiple attempts to quit before I ever met her. Each time, the civilian moolah didn’t cut it and she was back in the clubs after a few months. She’s ended past relationships over this as well. Exes gave her ultimatums to stay out of the club and she chose to break up and go back.

Finally, I’m worried for what could happen if she does successfully quit for good. She’s out of my league, right? I’m an average looking doofus with an upper middle class income. High quality men will be attracted to her, and that big roadblock that prevented them from forming real relationships with her will be gone. Deep down, I know part of the reason she went with me is that she was lonely and it's hard for her to find emotional, romantic intimacy because of her job. Even though I hate it, I wonder how much her work keeps her with me. When she moves on from clubs, she will make new friends from a different crowd. No more PLs, no more wannabe thugs and drug dealers, no more unstable stripper friends. I’m happy for her opportunity to have more healthy friendships. But what’s going to happen when high status dudes with more wealth, better looks and stronger personalities come after her? Why would she stay with me?