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sinclair

Strip Club Nation

Some strip club patrons see a smart phone as a bulky accessory that they’d rather not carry around inside of a strip club. For me, my smart phone is a toolbox that allows me to play the strip club game at a higher level. In this article, I will describe a few apps that I use during my strip club adventures and how they are useful.

1. Shazam is a music identification app that uses your phone’s microphone to identify songs. I use a setting on Shazam known as Auto Shazam where you can have the app automatically run during the duration of time you are at the strip club. It identifies and generates a play list of every song that was played and how long ago it was played. The value in using Auto Shazam is that you can use it to fight back against Rob's that over count songs.

Take for example a recent incident I had inside a club: I did four songs in the private dance area with a dancer. She tried to claim we were in the lap dance area for six songs. I flipped my phone on and showed her the play list that Auto Shazam had put together. I said, “Look, the first song you danced for me was ‘Purple Rain’, then we did two more songs, ‘Cream’ and ‘Kiss’, and finally finished on ‘When Doves Cry’. The dancer was flabbergasted that I was counting the songs not only in my head, but had visual proof on my smart phone. She backed down from her position and seemed embarrassed that I caught her in a lie. If she would have kept arguing, I would have taken my data from Auto Shazam to the manager, encouraging him to verify the song order with the DJ and even check the clubs cameras until I was vindicated.

The only flaw of Shazam is that it might not be able to identify extremely rare music that is not commercially available. But since every strip club I have ever stepped foot in plays commercial music very loudly, Auto Shazam has worked flawlessly. An added bonus of using Shazam is that if you hear a song that you like at the strip club, you can identify the artist and title and instantly buy it from iTunes or Google Play with one click.

2. The most common question I get on TUSCL is: “How are you able to remember so many details about a club and write such detailed reviews?” The app that facilitates my profusion of strip club intelligence is called Color Note. The Color Note app is essentially the neon Post-it Notes many of us use at the office and at home, only adapted to a smart phone. I use Color Note to type up my observations and experiences in the clubs I visit during lulls in the action. Many of the details I would otherwise forget had I not taken notes during my visit. When it is time to write a review, I open up the Color Note app and use my documentation to write a TUSCL review with detailed observations, tips, price schemes, and descriptions and ratings of specific dancers.

3. A lot of the strip clubs I go to in rural areas or smaller cities do not have full time DJ. Music is played off of jukeboxes. TouchTunes has by far the largest share of the digital jukebox market. They have an app that allows one to control the jukebox via their phone rather than physically using the touchscreen on the jukebox. One feature of this app is that you can see what the next few songs to play will be. As you gain higher prestige levels on the app, you get to see more songs waiting in the queue. I currently have enough prestige on my TouchTunes account to see the next five songs lined up to be played. If there are long songs coming up, you go get lap dances. If there are short songs about to be played, you delay on heading back for private dances.

Since clubs with jukeboxes typically make the dancers pay out of their own pockets for the songs that they dance to, dancers try to get customers to give them a couple bucks to pay for their songs. Instead of handing them dollars, get them to sit down at your table and help them pick their songs off the TouchTunes app. This allows you to flirt with the dancer for a bit, and you can sway her to play songs with longer abjurations. Another added benefit of playing the songs off the TouchTunes app versus the physical jukebox is the per song cost is cheaper when you buy a pack of credits through the app.

One particular night I was in a rural cabaret, and the dancers were not interested in parting with three dollars every time they were called up on stage, since they were not making much money to begin with. I loaded my TouchTunes account with a bulk amount of credits and became DJ Sinclair for the entire evening. Under normal circumstances, I would not recommend playing songs on the jukeboxes without consulting the dancers who will be dancing to them. Many dancers are extremely picky about the songs they dance to. Keep in mind, all establishments with TouchTunes jukeboxes have a remote for the jukebox that can be used to skip over unwanted songs. The second biggest player in the digital jukebox market is AMI Entertainment. This company also has an app to control their jukeboxes from smart phones.

4. A stopwatch app is typically a standard application on most smart phones. If you do not happen to have one by default on your smart phone, Simple Stopwatch is a good supplemental. A stopwatch is a useful gauge for determining the time value of private dance options. Take for example a strip club that offers thirty minutes of VIP time for $150 or private dances for $20 per song. You could use your stopwatch app to determine what the average song lengths are. If songs are approximately four minutes in length, value comes out equal. If songs are under four minutes, say three minutes to three and a half minutes, the VIP time is a better value. If individual songs are playing for over four minutes, say four and a half minutes to five minutes, then buying dances by the song is a better value.

The most often cases where I have used a stopwatch app in strip clubs are when I indulge in set-length private rooms or VIP sessions (e.g. thirty minutes or twenty minutes). Many clubs and dancers like to cut patrons short on the time they thought they were getting. Often bouncers will show up before the time duration is finished, or dancers will try to bug out early. I will start the stopwatch when the private time commences, put the screen face down on a table, and check it when a dancer or club staff member tells me time is up. If I have been shorted time, I just show them the stopwatch that I have been covertly running. Usually this is enough evidence to keep other parties from shorting me.

Make sure to use a stopwatch app, which counts upwards, and not a timer app that counts down. Timers set off alarms when the time duration expires. Occasionally, club staff or dancers, whichever is keeping track of time, will not be paying attention and your VIP session may go longer than the duration you paid for. For example, the last I did a thirty minute room, the VIP hostess got caught up with other duties, and my session went thirty-seven minutes rather than the thirty minutes I bargained for, according to my stopwatch app. If I would have used a timer app, an alarm would have been set off and I would have screwed myself out of seven minutes of bonus time.

5. Six or seven years ago, if you asked me how what was the best way to keep in touch with dancers from the club, I would have told you Google Voice. Nowadays, I would recommend Snapchat as the number one option. I have yet to meet one stripper, or young person under thirty, who does not have Snapchat on their phone. Snapchat is a photo and video sharing app that also allows instant messaging and video chat. Snapchat can be used anonymously as long as you do not allow the app to access your phone’s contacts and opt out of the Snap Map feature. For an extra layer of security, sign up using a burn phone number and a burn email address. On Snapchat, you simply create a user name and that is it. One does not need to maintain an online identity like one does on Facebook.

The fact that you can view sexy photos and videos from your strippers and communicate with private messages, while keeping as anonymous as the two of you desire, makes Snapchat a very fun app. It is interesting to see vignettes of strippers’ lives outside of work that they post to their story. You learn a little bit about what their hobbies and interests are, and that makes conversing easier when you socialize in person. In the case that a stripper does not want to share their Snapcode or user name, fall back on Google Voice or any other burn number app.

From traveling around the United States to over two hundred gentlemen’s clubs, I have seen about twenty percent of strip clubs openly trying to discourage smart phone use in their establishments via signage. About eight to ten percent of strip clubs strictly enforce a “no phone” policy by way of sending bouncers after any offenders. In these instances, a vestibule, a patio, or the pisser might be the only places where one can use their smart phone, essentially preventing one from using their strip club toolbox. Feel free to share information about any apps that help you find value or gather intelligence in your strip club adventures.