Dancer Discrimination - Justifying Sexual Harassment in the Workplace
Wicked_Gypsy
Ohio
Hey, everyone! I know it's been a long time since I've been on regularly. As some of you know from my most recent post, I'd gotten a new job at a factory in my area. In addition to dancing and my other job, that added an additional 40-70 hours a week to my work schedule, so I was pulling roughly 65 - 95 working hours each week. The money was pretty great, but it was absolutely ludicrous for me to think I could actually pull it off while still maintaining to keep what little sanity I had left. As of this past Saturday (November 14th), I am no longer employed at the factory, and I felt the need to tell you all my story because of how ridiculous it is.
Sexual harassment is usually a huge deal, right? Whether the level of harassment is mildly inappropriate comments or full-fledged sexual assault, these situations are typically met with severe repercussions for the offender which may include arrest, incarceration, and perhaps a permanent sexual offender status. The victim may be offered some sort of settlement (in or out of court), reimbursement or compensation for having been put in such a position, and sometimes an apology from the company for having provided an unsafe workplace. Nope! Evidently, it was wrong of me to make these assumptions.
In my initial interview with this company, I listed the club as a current employer because I'd been there about 2 and a half years, and I felt as though my manager could provide a good business reference, which he did. Before I was even hired, it was understood who I was and what I did. Plus, I saw no sense in hiding anything. If they were going to have dismissed me for that, then so be it. I was hired on the spot and started working the following week.
If I had to work at the factory on a Saturday or Sunday morning, I would often leave the club and go straight there. I would usually be leaving the club around 4:30a-5a, and was expected to clock at the factory in by 6a. This was never an issue. Obviously, not having time to go home between jobs, I would come in still wearing my makeup and perfume, which was also never an issue. This past Saturday morning, just as any other morning, I was standing in the cafeteria with all the other employees attending our daily startup meeting. I just so happened to be standing by a young man by the name of Tay, who I've never even really talked to before. He was friends with a few other employees around our age, who I'd become friends with as well. Mostly everyone there knew I was a dancer and some of them had even come to the club to see me. Again, this was never an issue with myself or anyone there. Normal questions were asked: Where do you work? How do you like it? How long have you been dancing? What are the prices? Nothing I wouldn't expect from any other regular person, in or out of work.
When startup finished and we were leaving the cafeteria to go into the workzone, Tay asked if I had worked at the club that morning. This was a question I got asked most weekend mornings, so I thought nothing of it. I said yes, and he replied with, "Oh, cause you still smell like whore.". I was a little taken aback, but I thought that was just his style of humor so I just continued walking to my work station. Everyone got on the floor around 6:15, and for the next 3 hours I continued to receive nothing but vulgar and slanderous comments from Tay. He was asking how much "extras" are, how far he could get with which dancer, what times they would be available to meet him somewhere. He made remarks to my behavior at work (I was usually upbeat, social, and sometimes would dance around in my work station to pass time while my machines were running) and said that I acted like I was high on something. I told him that I don't offer extras, nor does anyone I work with, and that I'm not a drug user, I just enjoy my job and coworkers (hence putting me in a good mood). He came back with something to effect of, "Nah that's not what it's about. All strippers are sluts and junkies and you're no different you self-righteous bitch, get off your high horse and accept it." I ignored most of his comments, trying my hardest to pretend he didn't exist and avoiding being in the same area as he was when it was possible.
For all intents and purposes, this is the hierarchy of the company:
All HR and Office Employees > Supervisor > Master Lead > Lead > Trainer/Permanent Employee > Seasonal Employee (I was seasonal)
I asked my lead and supervisor numerous times that morning if I could move to a different work station because I was having an issue with another employee in my area. I didn't leave any specific details, but it should have been enough for me to have had asked twice. Both requests had been denied. As I approached my lead for the 3rd and final time, I started to mention to her what was going on. Tay was standing behind her, making faces at me (seriously, this kid is like 20 years old), and I expressed to her that if nothing was done, I was going straight to the Human Resource Office. She told me that I needed to wait until my next scheduled break so that I was still completing my work during the required time, or a disciplinary report would be filed against me and I would be sent home for "not following the rules". I had already dealt with this for 3 hours, and I was expected to deal with it for another 3 hours to do something about it? I'm sorry but I don't feel like that was right. I went back to my work station, set all of my 3 machines to run while I was away, and walked to the office. Just as I got into the HR department, both my lead and supervisor were hot on my tail.
Myself, the lead, the supervisor and the head of HR started an open discussion about the incidences of that morning. Shortly after the issue was addressed, they called Tay to the office, as well. He denied everything (of course), and started telling them that I was using racial slurs and offensive amounts of profanity, both directly to him, and to other employees in regards to him. Anyone that knows me personally, knows that I'm not prejudiced against anyone for their race, religion, etc. Numerous times that week, my pod mate had been a young black kid, roughly the same age as Tay - one of his friends, in fact - and he and I got along great. I have no problem working with anyone who treats me respectably and does their job the way they're supposed to. What I do have a problem with, however, is when someone is making derogatory remarks to or about me for no good reason.
At one point during our little meeting, Tay had said something along the lines of, "She's a stripper, she's used to dealing with stuff like that anyways so I don't see what her problem is. She needs to get over it.", and everyone else just looked at each other as though they were in agreement with him, almost justifying what he had done. Yes, I put myself in situations where I'm going to be hit on, possibly groped, where guys are going to solicit me, and I understand that - at the club, when I'm half-naked and giving lap dances. It's a common occurrence for these types of things to happen - at the club. Perhaps even if I were just a bartender at a regular bar, I could see something like that happening (not that I'm justifying that in any way, shape, or form, but you know what I mean).
In a nutshell: I was sexually harassed. I dealt with it in the most professional way (I felt) I possibly could. The offender's actions were justified because of my choice of profession.
When all was said and done, we were both terminated; the reason being, "If they can't properly function and interact with other employees in a working environment, then we don't need either of them in this company.". I spoke to the corporate office on Monday and their records show that I was fired for not meeting productivity quota. I have spoken to 2 separate legal consultants and was told that I don't have much to go on in the way of any sort of settlement. There is no physical evidence of what occurred, just two twenty-somethings playing the "he said, she said" game.
So that's that, I guess! You guys are welcome to express your opinion on the whole thing, and I'm open for advice if anyone has any to offer. Given the nature of it all, I felt the need to express it to the TUSCL community. I'm expecting a call from HR sometime between now and Monday in regards to filing a sexual harassment claim, so that it can at least go on record. I still don't feel as if anything further can be done, but at least I can take solace in the fact that it's going to be addressed, and that Tay was fired, too.
Sexual harassment is usually a huge deal, right? Whether the level of harassment is mildly inappropriate comments or full-fledged sexual assault, these situations are typically met with severe repercussions for the offender which may include arrest, incarceration, and perhaps a permanent sexual offender status. The victim may be offered some sort of settlement (in or out of court), reimbursement or compensation for having been put in such a position, and sometimes an apology from the company for having provided an unsafe workplace. Nope! Evidently, it was wrong of me to make these assumptions.
In my initial interview with this company, I listed the club as a current employer because I'd been there about 2 and a half years, and I felt as though my manager could provide a good business reference, which he did. Before I was even hired, it was understood who I was and what I did. Plus, I saw no sense in hiding anything. If they were going to have dismissed me for that, then so be it. I was hired on the spot and started working the following week.
If I had to work at the factory on a Saturday or Sunday morning, I would often leave the club and go straight there. I would usually be leaving the club around 4:30a-5a, and was expected to clock at the factory in by 6a. This was never an issue. Obviously, not having time to go home between jobs, I would come in still wearing my makeup and perfume, which was also never an issue. This past Saturday morning, just as any other morning, I was standing in the cafeteria with all the other employees attending our daily startup meeting. I just so happened to be standing by a young man by the name of Tay, who I've never even really talked to before. He was friends with a few other employees around our age, who I'd become friends with as well. Mostly everyone there knew I was a dancer and some of them had even come to the club to see me. Again, this was never an issue with myself or anyone there. Normal questions were asked: Where do you work? How do you like it? How long have you been dancing? What are the prices? Nothing I wouldn't expect from any other regular person, in or out of work.
When startup finished and we were leaving the cafeteria to go into the workzone, Tay asked if I had worked at the club that morning. This was a question I got asked most weekend mornings, so I thought nothing of it. I said yes, and he replied with, "Oh, cause you still smell like whore.". I was a little taken aback, but I thought that was just his style of humor so I just continued walking to my work station. Everyone got on the floor around 6:15, and for the next 3 hours I continued to receive nothing but vulgar and slanderous comments from Tay. He was asking how much "extras" are, how far he could get with which dancer, what times they would be available to meet him somewhere. He made remarks to my behavior at work (I was usually upbeat, social, and sometimes would dance around in my work station to pass time while my machines were running) and said that I acted like I was high on something. I told him that I don't offer extras, nor does anyone I work with, and that I'm not a drug user, I just enjoy my job and coworkers (hence putting me in a good mood). He came back with something to effect of, "Nah that's not what it's about. All strippers are sluts and junkies and you're no different you self-righteous bitch, get off your high horse and accept it." I ignored most of his comments, trying my hardest to pretend he didn't exist and avoiding being in the same area as he was when it was possible.
For all intents and purposes, this is the hierarchy of the company:
All HR and Office Employees > Supervisor > Master Lead > Lead > Trainer/Permanent Employee > Seasonal Employee (I was seasonal)
I asked my lead and supervisor numerous times that morning if I could move to a different work station because I was having an issue with another employee in my area. I didn't leave any specific details, but it should have been enough for me to have had asked twice. Both requests had been denied. As I approached my lead for the 3rd and final time, I started to mention to her what was going on. Tay was standing behind her, making faces at me (seriously, this kid is like 20 years old), and I expressed to her that if nothing was done, I was going straight to the Human Resource Office. She told me that I needed to wait until my next scheduled break so that I was still completing my work during the required time, or a disciplinary report would be filed against me and I would be sent home for "not following the rules". I had already dealt with this for 3 hours, and I was expected to deal with it for another 3 hours to do something about it? I'm sorry but I don't feel like that was right. I went back to my work station, set all of my 3 machines to run while I was away, and walked to the office. Just as I got into the HR department, both my lead and supervisor were hot on my tail.
Myself, the lead, the supervisor and the head of HR started an open discussion about the incidences of that morning. Shortly after the issue was addressed, they called Tay to the office, as well. He denied everything (of course), and started telling them that I was using racial slurs and offensive amounts of profanity, both directly to him, and to other employees in regards to him. Anyone that knows me personally, knows that I'm not prejudiced against anyone for their race, religion, etc. Numerous times that week, my pod mate had been a young black kid, roughly the same age as Tay - one of his friends, in fact - and he and I got along great. I have no problem working with anyone who treats me respectably and does their job the way they're supposed to. What I do have a problem with, however, is when someone is making derogatory remarks to or about me for no good reason.
At one point during our little meeting, Tay had said something along the lines of, "She's a stripper, she's used to dealing with stuff like that anyways so I don't see what her problem is. She needs to get over it.", and everyone else just looked at each other as though they were in agreement with him, almost justifying what he had done. Yes, I put myself in situations where I'm going to be hit on, possibly groped, where guys are going to solicit me, and I understand that - at the club, when I'm half-naked and giving lap dances. It's a common occurrence for these types of things to happen - at the club. Perhaps even if I were just a bartender at a regular bar, I could see something like that happening (not that I'm justifying that in any way, shape, or form, but you know what I mean).
In a nutshell: I was sexually harassed. I dealt with it in the most professional way (I felt) I possibly could. The offender's actions were justified because of my choice of profession.
When all was said and done, we were both terminated; the reason being, "If they can't properly function and interact with other employees in a working environment, then we don't need either of them in this company.". I spoke to the corporate office on Monday and their records show that I was fired for not meeting productivity quota. I have spoken to 2 separate legal consultants and was told that I don't have much to go on in the way of any sort of settlement. There is no physical evidence of what occurred, just two twenty-somethings playing the "he said, she said" game.
So that's that, I guess! You guys are welcome to express your opinion on the whole thing, and I'm open for advice if anyone has any to offer. Given the nature of it all, I felt the need to express it to the TUSCL community. I'm expecting a call from HR sometime between now and Monday in regards to filing a sexual harassment claim, so that it can at least go on record. I still don't feel as if anything further can be done, but at least I can take solace in the fact that it's going to be addressed, and that Tay was fired, too.
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21 comments
Otherwise, in the lack of these indicators, then it is just a one on one thing. Though the company should respond if a complaint is filled.
But then on the other hand I know of a place where a recent college grad and Orthodox Jewish supervisor was encouraging women to make complaints about being looked at, and acting like if they didn't complain that they were contributing to the "degradation of women". These women were working class, and they dressed to encourage guys to look at them, and they hoped more than that too.
But it does sound like this place you were in did meet the standards for hostile work environment.
Oh well, lots of makeup does draw a woman attention.
I suspect most would not admit to ever having been a stripper. I'm not trying to make excuses, just to explain how it is.
Some men are jealous of women sex workers because of the money they make.
If you can fight this, good for you.
Another way of looking at this is, symmetrical versus complementary. That is, when there are opposite gender roles is when women get sexy. It is also when they can use sex appeal to get something, like money or like attention. Strip clubs are an extreme example of this.
In symmetrical environments, women want to be seen as equal to men. So they really tone down the sex appeal and focus on their knowledge and ability and how they are doing the same job a man could do, and so of course they expect the same pay.
In factories and high tech environments it is symmetrical. Women who dress sexy are seen as secondary low wage players, and ultimately the real reason they are there is that they hope to get married.
So for high ranking women, the dress and behavior codes are strict.
It is not an easy issue. Some high tech and factory and office work places have bimbo screeners. Often a woman. She will cross examine any young female applicants to make sure that they are not applying for the job for social reasons.
I think it wrong to try and apply the same set of standards in all environments. But also understand that it is always women who are supposed to be the upholders of rules of social decorum.
I would have recommended against discussing ever having been a stripper or wearing stripper makeup. I would have said, save the stripper makeup for when you come and visit me.
Good Luck, and Good Article,
SJG
https://sites.google.com/site/sjgportal/…
About Paris Attack
http://news.yahoo.com/eagles-of-death-me…
Amy Winehouse, everyone's favorite bad girl, after Ronnie Specter. And what distinguishes them as bad girls? The eye makeup.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkLiYIDD…
You did the right thing. In hindsight it would have been more tactical to document his behavior. You also should have skippped your supervisor and went straight to HR. But that probably would not have helped.
It sucks, but I imagine the factory pay wasn't amazing.
Did the factory serve you notice or warning for "not meeting productivity quota" prior to firing you?
(It can be verbal also).
If not - the factory is screwed.
Also - you stated the facts above. But are they all the facts? (whole truth)?
For example:
"Normal questions were asked: Where do you work? How do you like it? How long have you been dancing? What are the prices? Nothing I wouldn't expect from any other regular person, in or out of work. "
.... wow how did it get to this? It's bold and honorable of you to disclose to this factory employer about your dancing job. However, when co-workers asked you about the dancing job - even during breaks - at the factory - the very first response should have been "I'm sorry I prefer not to discuss my other jobs here." (therefore the questions on prices would not even come up).
I believe you should sue the factory - but be aware they may pop up some witnesses that testify that you advertised your other job at the factory workplace. One of your co-worker bitch might even testify that you demonstrated pole moves or lap dance moves (something your upbeat personality may be unaware of).
I suggest pouring through the details of your casual chats/interactions with co-workers, in order to form a solid strategy.
On hiring a lawyer I assume you have sought opinion from free legal help places such as:
http://texaslawhelp.org/resource/legal-a…
Don't be discouraged by their responses.
Do talk to law firms in your area that go to trail for sexual harassment - at least half a dozen.
http://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/ar…
Couple tips:
1. Don't get mad. Get even. Legal process is time consuming. Allocate a fixed number of hours each week for this activity (say 4). Once you reach this - continue next week. Your main job and your life are your priorities.
2. Have this mindset. You are expending the effort not only for the suffering and loss of income - but also creating a path for other dancers who run into this problem down the road. If you document all this well - a story can be published out of this. Not so much for money but for lots of personal satisfaction.
good luck !
I give you total props for maintaining your cool and handling it the way that you did. I would have fucked up that Tay piece of shit soooooooooooooo bad, but then i would have wound up in jail. You took the high road. Time to fuggedaboud all of it and move on to something better.
Unfortunately; in any legal matter; prove/evidence is required; these days everyone should know how to use their smartphone and know how to use it discretely; a video (or audio) says a thousand words.
W/o evidence or any other person(s) collaborating the story; not much you can probably do IMO (although a good lawyer can work wonders but if there is not enough $$$ in it many lawyers will pass; have you tried looking into the ACLU; they often stick up for the little-guy/girl).
The company is probably covering their ass by firing you b/c of your “productivity” – but if you had never been written-up b/f b/c of your productivity I would assume you'd have a case for being wrongfully terminated.
And yeah; sex-work is still looked down-upon in today's society; treat the SC as Vegas; what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. I don't think anything good can come-out out of you mentioning your stripping to civilians; more often than not it has negative consequences – even for us just custies.
Interesting.
Not.
In the midst of everything that had already been stirred up, I got a text from my other boss - that's right, a fucking text - saying that I was fired. 5 and a half years of dedicated service to a small business owner; being paid under the table, going out of my way to do extra work above and beyond what was expected of me, rarely ever complaining. He and I were pretty close - he tells others that he loved me like a daughter - he knew about all the hell I was going through with the factory, losing my job so close to the holidays and freaking out about my bills not getting paid. So 5 days after my termination from the factory, he texts me and tells me not to come in anymore. Wonderful guy, huh? I suppose that's another story for another time.
Despite losing 2 jobs within a week of one another (while burning several bridges along the way) and having all odds against me, I remain bullheadedly optimistic. Maybe this is the kick in the ass I've needed to finally do something great. I will use this as a learning experience and a chance to evolve.
I've been talking to a good friend of mine for the past couple days about his dream to start his own garage. I've always wanted to own my own business - the type of which usually varies depending on what day of the week it is - but I've been putting serious thought about starting my own strip club for the past year or so. I understand that this isn't something that's going to happen overnight; it's going to take absolute dedication and determination, along with the know-how of starting and running a business. It's going to be a lengthy and difficult process, and it's going to require financial backing whether that means investors or loans/grants. I think I'm going to hunker down and get serious about this, because this is something I would love to do. I have tons of business start-up information at my disposal from when I was considering starting my own martial arts school. I think this is something I have the power to make happen if I properly construct and focus my energy. I'm not saying it's going to be successful, given the economy in my area is total shit – but I can't say I'm not going to try my hardest.