15 Strippers we could do without (Types 11-15)

8/19/2014 12:00:00 AM

Let's move on to types 11-15.

Type 11: The possessor. She thinks she owns you. You're HER customer. She tries to take all your time and acts hurt if you get attention from another dancer. If she's working, you always feel compelled to get a dance from her. When you do, she won't go away. You're stuck with her until you walk out. The rule here: End the relationship. Try other clubs or call ahead to see if she's there. If she's not, meet the other ladies and find out when they are there vs. her schedule. If necessary, tell her "Thanks, but I want to talk with Jasmine, Nikki, Sierra, ...". Eventually, she'll get the point.

Type 12: The cum dumpster. This is the girl who blows or screws everybody. She might be hot, but you know both sets of her lips have been wrapped around every dick that swings through the club doors. You're horny and looking for extras or OTC, but she's just too much. The rule here: First off, even if you love going bareback, you're asking for trouble if you aren't wrapped. Eventually, you will bring something home. This girl is a cum dumpster because she's got a problem - she's hooked on drugs or is supporting some worthless piece of shit who probably has given her something. Run away from this one. You don't want any of the problems surrounding her.

Type 13: The fugly. This is the dancer who is well past her prime. Or she just shouldn't be dancing. She has to get a job at the worst club in town or a desperate club who will hire anyone. Also, she's a terrible dancer - not that you'd want to find out. Customers are free to like any type of girl. Some guys like big girls or plain girls or older women or anorexic types. But this girl has no idea how nasty she is - from her brown, messed up teeth to her pimply, sweaty ass to her tree trunk, cottage cheese thighs. She's not going to make any money, any way. Don't encourage her. Say no and move on. This one is pretty easy.

Type 14: The bitch. Why this beast thinks you need to experience her misery, only the lord of Hell needs to know. This is the girl who's pissed and doesn't care if everyone in the club knows. She doesn't smile, and she's willing to get personal with you about her ills. Personally, I had one of these witches corner me after I was in a club for a while. I got one dance from her and told her MAYBE we could do a VIP later. She told me, "If you didn't want a lap dance, why didn't you just say before?" Um, super bitch, maybe I still might want one? Sorry, I forgot I owed you something. Another time, I was waiting for my favorite dancer, when a girl approached me for a VIP. I also told her "maybe" since I didn't know if my regular would show. When she did and I headed for the VIP, this wench screamed at both of us. We complained to the manager. When I returned weeks later, she pulled the same shit when she saw me walk in. Yep, she hadn't forgotten. The rule here: Turn her into management. Tell them you'll take your money elsewhere as long as she works there. I did. Problem solved!

Type 15: The scammer. We all know this one. She promises everything in VIP and does none of it. She tries to charge more for dances than the club does. She slips her hands into your pockets trying to lift your wallet or grab cash. She tries to get you drunk so she can run up your credit cards. The rule here: Obviously, dump the loser and never do any business with her. You also need to warn other guys. Report her in your club review for TUSCL. Message it to other guys. Tell everyone you know. Report her to the club. If you see her working another guy at the club, try to warn him. This ho needs to go!

15 comments

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voracity

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10 years ago

#11 I am currently trying to get away from this woman. My ATF had gone MIA for months so she became my #2 but now my ATF has returned. And she is such a bitch. She literally goes up to girls and tells them that I'm "her customer" so that they stay away from me. Worst part is she works like every f***ing day that I can go in. I've even called to see if she was working to avoid her and go in on a shift she wasn't working. Multiple times they have said she's not there but when I arrive TADA look whose there.

The only next step I can think of is to A. Go to another club, but I would like to start seeing my ATF again. or B. Tell the manager to get her to leave me alone, but I don't like confrontation and would like to avoid this at all costs. (and keep the #2 incase of stormy weather)

She has my cellphone number and the other night I went in for just a few minutes and got 2 dances from some random girl and she texted me within 15 minutes angry about me getting dances from another girl then leaving.

I know she just wants the money I'm not stupid. For maybe a few days I contemplated an OTC visit but I know that's not going to happen. Truthfully I am just tired of her she's not really even my type and I have no idea how I let her become #2. (Yea I do it was all the extras)

She's cool as hell. Has an awesome personality and whatever but If I wanted a monogamous relationship that I wanted out of and still had to pay for I'd get a girlfriend.

carlos_spiceyweiner

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10 years ago

Holy shit, voracity! I've never heard of a possessor that bad. She's making a part of your life that should be happy absolutely awful. If your ATF is going to stay at that club, you're probably just going to have to tell this girl to back off. If she won't, tell the club. In the end, it's all about your money anyhow. Let this crazy find someone else.

rick20051967

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10 years ago

Carlos, this was a great set of articles! Very accurate and descriptive thanks.

carlos_spiceyweiner

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10 years ago

Thanks, rick20051967! I'm planning to write more.

DandyDan

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10 years ago

I got a mild version of the possessor (Type 11) right now at my favorite club. The frustrating thing is, every time I go to her club, she's not only always there, she's onto me in 5 minutes or less. She apparently has no life outside the club (I'm told she works Sundays, not that I have a chance to go there on Sunday, nor would I want to knowing she would be there then) and is on the short list of worst dancers ever, mostly because she has precisely 4 moves. But she has one of the better bodies there, which is the really frustrating thing. One time, she made the mistake of being onstage when I showed up, so one of the other dancers beat her to me and it was pissing her off to no end and it was visible the whole time. Life would be easier for her if she were a fugly. OTOH, she just might have to get a real job.

JohnSmith69

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10 years ago

Some types you list I immediately recognize, others not so much. I had a type 12 and 13 last week. Was tempted by the 12 cause I was really horny but stayed away for the reasons you mention.

How about next a list of the stripper types that we could do with more of. There are as many good strippers as there are bad ones, and sometimes I think we are too much like the pink site by focusing so much on the negatives of the people we deal with in strip clubs.

JohnSmith69

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10 years ago

Just noticed that all the clubs you have reviewed are in Ohio. Try traveling out-of-state to someplace with better clubs. Maybe you could see more of the positives of dancers that way. Just a thought.

carlos_spiceyweiner

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10 years ago

johnSmith69,

I'm actually working on an article on strippers we want to see more of! I didn't write the article to bash dancers. It was more about entertainment and the dancers guys have to navigate around to meet the strippers they really like.

Thanks for the comments.

pjs1983

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10 years ago

As a dancer, I have to say this list is hilarious and on point!

georgmicrodong

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10 years ago

Every single dancer you don't like can be eliminated with the consistent application of no money and, with varying degrees of politeness dependent upon the nature of the offense, a firm "no thanks."

You don't have to avoid the club, avoid the other girls, or anything else that inconveniences you.

tempest666

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10 years ago

Add the "Lifetime Movie-of-the-week" ailment/pity party. I work with this one who manages to have a new affliction every week. She's had breast cancer (which one customer sarcastically remarked "Don't you actually need tits to get that? It's called BREAST cancer, not 'nipple-and-rib' cancer")brain tumor, various allergic reactions to alleged odors. She even showed up to work in a surgical mask a la the late Michael Jackson. A coworker asked if she was positive for H1N1. She banks the shit out of unsuspecting customers.

carlos_spiceyweiner

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10 years ago

Thanks, tempest666! That's a new one on me. I need to get to work on another list.

Dancinggal

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10 years ago

I like this article. The possessor is the worst, even for other dancers. I had a customer come up to me
And ask me for a VIP. Behind a curtain, she hears his voice and rips open the curtain and begins yelling at him while I'm dancing, and while we are agreeing to go to the CR . She somehow guilts him Into CR with her. Crazy woman.

san_jose_guy

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10 years ago

Type 12: The cum dumpster.

I have to again take exception here. She wouldn't be engaging in sex acts with guys, if they guys were not asking her to. While hygiene considerations should be applied at all times, I take offense at the attempt to set up this type cast and then use it to morally impugn. You can't say you want to be having sex with strippers, and then be impugning those who oblige. This is just that old double standard which denigrates sexual activity in women while at the same time praising it in men.

If you can't accept a woman who has sex with multiple partners, then just abstain. I can tell you though from personal experience, the women who are strictly monogamous are not much fun.

https://sites.google.com/site/sjgportal/
SJG

carlos_spiceyweiner

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10 years ago

san_joes_guy, you're getting me all wrong here. If I didn't want to be around women who were "sharing" themselves in some ways with a lot of guys, i wouldn't be in strip clubs. That just doesn't make any sense. I'm talking about dancers who have worn themselves to the bone doing every guy in town, usually to support a habit. These girls are a problem because they've typically reached a point where they don't care and aren't concerned if they're infected with something that they're passing on to others. That's what I'm talking about. I'm not making a moral judgment as much as one about having common sense about dealing with someone with serious problems. Jeesch!

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