Training Night

The following story is 100% true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.... We have just finished a fun day of golf, and me, my best friend Mark, and a newer friend Ned are at a local bar drinking from a cold pitcher of Miller Lite. It has been quite a while since I have been able to play hookey, and get out on the links. The beers are going down quickly, and when this happens, my urge to see naked 20-something year old hotties rises exponentially. "So Rick, where are we headed after this?" Mark says with a smile. Mark and I have been friends for a long time now, and he knows damn well that after golf on Fridays, we always head south to Providence for some strip club action. He also knows that the new guy in our group Ned is expecting us to see some strippers at some point, but Ned clearly doesn't understand that multiple strip clubs are the focal point of our night out. In fact, often the entire day's events are organized knowing where we will end up at the end of the night. "I don't know about YOU Mark, but I want to see Barbie, I say with a smile. Barbie is at a place in Providence called the Satin Doll, and is your prototypical beautiful, huge chested, bleach blonde, sexy legged, sweet voiced, sex-loving stripper who has in the past shown me some of the best times of my life. She is clearly one of my all time favorites, or ATFs as they say on the blogs, and although I don't see her as often as I like, (I haven't been to the Doll in maybe three months), I know when she sees me, it will be like I never left. Thinking of Barbie always makes me smile....pervert that I am. Now I am horny as hell. "Time to leave boys!" We down the rest of our beer, pay the tab, and as we load into the car and head on to the highway, Ned begins his questions about Barbie. I tell him that Barbie is MY girl, but where we are going there will be plenty of other nice looking girls looking to please him. He continues his inquiries as Mark and I revel him with past stories from the Satin Doll. The Doll is technically a go-go club and not a "strip" club insomuch as the girls don't get topless or bottomless on stage, but they dress quite scantilly, there is tons of contact when you tip them on stage, they hang all over you while getting to know you off stage, and during private dances you get to see it all (and do most all). It isn't quite as good as it used to be, several years ago, when prostitution in a privately owned establishment was BASICALLY legal in Providence ( Oh, the good old days), but it is still a great place to go for some damn good action (and extras). It isn't as upscale as some of the other Providence clubs, and the girls aren't quite as hot, but we always seem to have a better time there, especially since we go there every so often so some of the ladies remember us....especially Barbie. "Are you sure this place is good?" Ned asks once more as we park the car in downtown Providence, and begin the short walk towards our destination. It is now dark, but the street lights show us the way. "Believe us Ned, this place is GOOD!" I firmly say as we get closer and closer. Mark nods his head in agreement. This place is VERY good! This is the first time out on the town with Ned, and all I am thinking at this point is that The Doll better be fucking good tonight, or I am never going to hear the end of it. Don't you hate when you go on and on about how good something is, and then when that person is with you, it turns out to be subpar? I hate when that happens.... I turn to enter The Doll, and as I reach for the door, I hear the bouncer say something to Mark, who nods understandingly. As we pay our $10 cover, I ask Mark what the bouncer said. "He said it was training night." I nod with a slightly perplexed look. I hope Barbie is here, and I hope ALL the girls aren't brand new.... "they better not ALL be in training!" As we enter the main room, there is a fairly fat blonde girl dancing on stage. There are about 5 other guys in the place, but nobody is paying attention to the fat girl. I feel kind of badly for her, although she seems quite large to be a stripper. "I never saw that girl before! I wonder if Barbie is here?" We make our way up to the bar, and order three Miller Lites as I continue to scope out the action. There are two pretty nice looking, thin, dark haired girls on the side stage kind of swaying back and forth and looking bored. I plan on heading over there shortly. Suddenly a Sarah Palin type girl begins to make small talk with Mark. She has the hair up, the glasses, the working girl skirt, etc, and she looks "okay". She is a little older than my taste, but we are nice to her as she sways in front of us shaking her ample tits behind her bra in our direction. As if from nowhere, another stripper shows up and immediately beelines to Ned who is sitting on a stool next to me. "Do you mind if I sit honey?" she says to Ned in a somewhat deep, throaty voice. Again, some guys like the throaty, deep, Tara Reid-like voice, but I was never a fan. Ned nods in agreement, and "Chantel" sits down directly in his lap. As I get a better look at Chantel, I notice her huge rack pressing against her black corset, but she is definitely NOT that attractive. I would say maybe a "3" at best. As Chantel unbuttons the top two buttons of Ned's shirt and begins rubbing his chest, I look around the club, but still no Barbie to be seen. The Sara Palin look-alike has now joined Chantel next to Ned, as I lean over to Mark. "The talent here is pretty weak tonight hu?" He nods agreeingly. "There are a couple of hotties on the side stage, but other than that, this place kind of sucks tonight. I hope it gets better, or I am never going to hear the end of it from Ned. And where the fuck is Barbie?" Mark nods his head in agreement as I take a gulp of beer. I am almost ready to head over to the girls on the side stage, and hopefully get some action started. It is then that I hear Chantel utter to Sara Palin, what I now KNOW are the five worst words you can possibly hear in a strip club. I DON'T THINK THEY KNOW. I glance over to Chantel in time to hear her explaining to Ned that she is a pre-op transexual. When Mark also hears the explanation, he gets a dumbfounded look on his face, and begins to question her further. Ned extracts Chantel from his lap as the coversation continues. "Oh, so SOME of the strippers here are trannys?" Mark says in a bewildered manner. "No hun, we ALL are." "Yes, you and her are, but not EVERY girl in here is right?" Mark refuses to understand, and I laugh out loud. "Mark, EVERYONE here is a guy!" I blurt out softly as to not attract too much attention. The three of us look at each other with ridiculous looks on our faces, down our beers, say our lightening quick goodbyes as to not be too rude, and make what feels like a sprint towards the door. It is only when we are outside that I notice the fucking rainbow flag flying in front of the club. I am not the most observant person in the world, and alcohol certainly doesn't help matters any, but how the fuck did I miss that? At some point within the last three months, my favorite club, where I used to have one of my ATFs (who was NOT there tonight, and who is a definite 100% female I GUARANTEE you) has become a part-time tranny bar. I found out later that it is still real girls working during the weekdays, and it is "Tranny Night" (Not "training night") on the weekends, which seems somewhat ridiculous to me, but whatever floats people's boats. As we head down the street on the way towards the next strip club on our agenda, which I expect will have REAL WOMEN, ( an expectation that I never had to question until tonight), my friend Ned begins giving me shit and telling me how he is going to tell everybody about the tranny bar that Mark and I took him to. I turn to him, and tell him, "That's fine Ned, when you tell the story I will be sure to mention the stripper that was sitting on your lap", and Mark chimed in "And don't forget that he was rubbing Ned's chest!" Ned kind of stutters a bit, and turns away. I hear him softly mutter, "We are NEVER telling this story to ANYONE! Not to ANYONE!" This embarrassment is 100% true, I swear! Every time I think about this, it makes me laugh, and I thought it would make you guys laugh as well. Now it is everyone else's turn. What is the most embarrassing thing to happen to YOU in or involving a strip club