I was in one of my usual clubs last month when a young lady approached me and started a conversation. She eventually asked me a question that I hadn't been asked before. "What attracts you to a particular dancer?" I gave her a half-assed answer, but since then I've been thinking about it and have put together some thoughts. I'm guessing this is not new information; it's probably basically the same for most club-goers.
In the order of occurrence:
Physical
When I was a very young man, legs stood out as an attribute I appreciated. As I grew older, breasts seemed to come to the forefront. You hear of "ass men", or guys that appreciate a chiseled mid-section. Some are drawn to the face, or the eyes, or the hair, or some other attribute. I've become more of a composite admirer. I look at a lady and it's either "Yes"- I'm attracted to her, or "No" - I'm not. It turns out I have a "minimum standard" of what appeals to me. I don't know how to describe it, but I know it when I see it. A dancer may be lacking in one area but make up for it in some other area.
I don't rate dancers on the 1 to 10 scale most guys seem to use. To me, it's a go-no go system. They either appeal to me or they don't. If I see a dancer at the bar or sitting at a table and I think she is attractive, I usually wait until she is on stage before approaching.
The key thing here is that there needs to be a physical attraction in order to start the dance process. Without that, nothing else gets off the ground.
I'm sure there is a similar situation with dancers. I know certain dancers who won't dance with certain customers because of physical attributes they don't like. I think they are a bit less choosy than the customers, but dancers have "minimum standards" that they also enforce. An old saying comes to mind though, "A handsome, but poor, man is still a handsome man. An ugly man who is a millionaire is still rich."
Personality
This is the interview stage. It consists of two things: can she carry on a conversation, and are the close physical attributes acceptable. By close physical attributes I mean - no bad breath, no BO, no gross amounts of make-up or perfume, no glitter. If I'm approached by a "wanna dance" person, 95% of the time she'll get a "no".
One of my past favorites had a routine that really worked for me. She would approach and either sit on the seat next to me or on my lap before she started a nice little shoulder/neck rub and began the conversation. That didn't last long before we headed to the lap dance section, but it was a great beginning. I've also had ladies that sat down and didn't say a word. That does not work - she's got to have at least a start at conversation.
When a conversation lags, I'll normally ask a question about how things are going at the club, or what she does when she's not dancing. If she answers with comments about another job, or going to school, or taking care of kids, we have the ability to start a conversation. I've done all those things. If she says nothing but "Fine" or "Good" or any other one word answer to my questions, there's no chance of a connection and I move on.
My experience with dancers is that a lull in the conversation creates the situation where she'll ask if I want a dance. If I say no because I don't feel a connection, she's on her way.
Cost
I've been going to these kinds of clubs for over 30 years, I started in Detroit in the late 70s, and continued there into the early 00s. In those clubs, you pretty much knew the cost of a dance. They were standardized and posted, or the standard price was just generally accepted by all the participants. If a dancer wanted to charge more, she would tell you up front that she was "special", either because of her physical attributes or her additional services.
When I started going to my current list of clubs, I found the costs were less regimented. The normal fare was a $20/dance, and because the club offered a "towfer" every hour or so, 2 for $20 became prevalent and was offered even when the twofer light was not lit. Over the years, this has gradually morphed into a more expensive menu. It's interesting now that a dancer who wants $20 for a single dance will offer a "twofer", but the two-for-one is actually $30. I guess it should be called two for one and a half. Other dancers who ask for $25/dance will do 2 for $40.
Years ago, cost was not the issue for me that it is today. Back then I was working and making a good wage so could more afford my hobby. Today, I'm retired and on a fixed income - I can afford it, I just need to balance my interests with my resources. Because of that, I ask the price before we go to the back. I've heard $20, 2 for $20, 2 for $30, $25, 2 for $40, $40 and $50 as dance prices. I have a "maximum acceptable" price and I don't exceed my target (well not usually anyway).
Despite my long experience in this field, I still don't understand stripper economics. When I started going to clubs in the 70s, there were crowds there all the time. Dances were $5 (I know - I'm old), and dancers were busy going from one customer to the next. When I first started going to my current clubs, dances were 2 for $20. My recollection is that the clubs were busy and the dancers moved from customer to customer and did ok. If a dancer and I hit it off, we'd stay together for 4 or 5 sets in the back room, I'd drop $100, and she'd move on. The clubs are less busy now. Since I travel a long distance to go to the club, I go less often and like to stay for a longer period of time. As the prices go up and I get less for my investment, I stay in the back room for a shorter amount of time with each dancer. Dropping $100 now could only get me 3 or 4 dances as compared to the 8 or 10 I used to get. I go back to my seat, and the dancer goes and sits with her friends or plays video game. If I stay for 2 dances and pay $40, and then she sits and does nothing because there are no customers, how does she make more money that staying with me for 8 or 10 dances and making $100? Perhaps they think charging more for a dance nets them more for a shift. Perhaps they're right, but it doesn't work for me. I can remember conversations with dancers where they talk about their monetary goal for the shift. It seems they now have a goal per dance. I'd be very interested in knowing if that nets them a better shift average or they just prefer to spend less time in the backroom.
The Dance
The three items to this point are what get me to the LD; the actual dance is what makes me a regular or a "one-and-done". I prefer a "soft and sensual" dance. I tell this to every dancer I go to the back with. 100% of them say that's what they prefer - probably 40% deliver. If I get the hard lap dance, I'm done.
Guys talk about dances they have gotten - anywhere from an air dance to Full Service. I have certain expectations when a lady dances for me, perhaps not the first time we're together, but certainly on continuing visits if we are to continue a relationship. This too could be termed a "minimum standard". I tend to be very loyal to dancers who I've hit it off with in the past. I look for them when I return, and I'm sorry when they leave. As long as things remain the same (physical, personality, price, dance style), I continue to look for them. If any of those things change, I reevaluate the relationship.
Well, that's my 2 cents. I don't imagine I'm much different than the rest of the guys who go to clubs. I've been at it a long time - I don't know how much longer I'll last. It's been fun - but it seems to be getting to be less fun as time goes on. The great thing here though is that as a customer, we get to vote with our feet. If we don't like the dancers, or the price, or the service, we can always go somewhere else.
Pretty much agree.