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JackofClubs

The day after her breakdown, I called Alanna for the first time. She sounded composed. Happy, even. After some light conversation, I brought up the events from the previous night.

"So, are you feeling better?"

"Are you referring to what happened last night?" she still sounded bubbly.

"Um, yea. It's not every day someone's crying in my lap for an hour."

"Yea, sorry about that. But it wasn't because of you or anything."

"I didn't think it was."

"I have a theory about it! You see, last night, I took Xanax for the first time and I'm pretty sure the shit fucked with me and that's why I ended up breaking down!"

Even though it was probably bullshit, I accepted the answer with a sigh of relief. She wasn't a broken girl at all! It was the Xanax! Stupid pill! The weight of the job wasn't starting to take its toll! She's still totally in control!

"So what are you doing for New Year's Eve?" I asked.

"Oh, no plans. I don't know, maybe spend it with my daughter. What about you?"

This was the perfect opening to invite her to my New Year's Eve plans.

"Having a get together with some friends. But hey, listen, I got to go. Getting back to work. I'll see you soon."

My "good" judgment was still intact.

The next time I'd see Alanna was in mid-January of the new year. I had convinced myself that the breakdown was an isolated incident. Just a small snafu. It was the holidays. Certain people get lonely on the holidays. I shouldn't let that one little episode sour my fun with Alanna. For the better part of the past year, she had been nothing BUT fun. Tossing all that out the window on the account of ONE strange night would be ridiculous! Things would be back to normal, I'm sure of it.

Alanna took another drag of her cigarette and let the smoke slither out from between her lips.

"I just broke it off with him. I'm walking away from thousands."

She had one elbow up on the counter as she rested her head on her right hand. She couldn't look more morose if she tried. For most of the night, she had been oscillating between Mr. Pitt-Bay's table and me at the bar. Whereas before, it seemed like she was just a vulnerable girl who let emotions get the best of her, tonight, she was sinking in pit of despair.

A waitress came over and tapped Alanna on the shoulder.

"Hey, Alanna, Doug is saying that he can't get another dancer because you'd just get jealous. So now he's just sort of sitting there doing nothing."

Alanna put out her cigarette in the ashtray and told me she'd be right back. She hopped off the barstool and scampered off to Doug.

I watched the two of them at the table, Doug looked uncomfortable and Alanna just blankly stared into space. Something weird was brewing over there, but I had a drink to tend to and a game to watch.

A gorgeous, blonde shooter girl took a seat at the bar and it wasn't long before we started to chat. After two dances, I took her to the V.I.P., half because I wanted to forget about the whole thing with Alanna, and half because I was at the club looking for a good time, so damnit, I was going to have a good time.

Thirty minutes later, I left the room with a smile and returned to the bar. In the middle of another drink, Alanna plopped down next to me. She looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"I need to quit this place. I'm so close to quitting... but how can I just walk away from all the money I'm making?"

Her lips started to quiver. She had to bite down to make it stop. I didn't know how to react. In a normal situation, I'd give the person a hug for reassurance. But the situation we were in was far from normal. I felt any touching outside the V.I.P. room was crossing the line and painted me as a lascivious deviant looking to cop a feel. But I had to do something. Anything.

"Um, I don't know what to do here..." I slurred.

I mechanically patted Alanna's drooping shoulders. It looked more like I was trying to burp a baby than console a friend. The act that was suppose to mimic a genuine gesture came off as extraordinarily artificial. Annoyed, Alanna shrugged off my hand with a look of disgust.

I sat there, perplexed at what my next step should be. I'd feel like an asshole if I just abandoned her in her current state. I turned my gaze over to Mr. Pitt-Bay's table, but only saw his hulking, bald friend. Mr. Pitt-Bay had left the building.

I took a deep breath and went with my last option.

"Want to hit up the V.I.P.?" I asked.

She picked herself up and gave me a baffled, blank stare. "Yea, sure. Let me go to the bathroom first."

She put out her cigarette and left my side. As soon as the coast was clear, I made my move. Armed with my glass of scotch, I paced over to the hulking, bald friend of Doug.

"Hi, I'm Jack." I said with an extended hand.

"John." he boomed back after sizing me up.

"Can I get you a drink or anything?"

"I'm good."

"So you're a friend of Doug?"

John nodded his head. I felt like a dwarf standing next to a giant. It wasn't so much that he was head-to-toe muscles, but his body mass was arranged in such a way that he resembled a wrestler. He looked like a guy who could take hits all night and then knock you out with one punch. I was fairly certain he had, at some point in his life, sent someone to the hospital with an old-fashioned ass-whomping. He was the epitome of a gruff motherfucker. Doug probably had him around as a bodyguard.

"Yea, I'm the I.T. guy for Doug's construction company."

"Oh, what?" I exclaimed, "I thought you were his trainer or something."

"No, just the computer guy. I did his company's website, too."

I really hope I didn't convey my disappointment at the reveal.

"Oh. Sorry for being so forward, but I have to ask, what's the deal with him and Alanna?"

"Alanna, that petite one?"

I nod. "Think they're fuck buddies or something."

"Yea. I don't know, from what I could tell from tonight, she's possessive. Gets pissed when he tries to get a dance from Holly. She's kind of crazy."

"I see." I mumbled before taking another swig from my glass.

"The guy's married, too. I don't know what he's doing. He's got a good wife. Totally fucking up his life with this girl."

A dancer made her way to the table, which was my cue to let the man be. After a quck farewell, I made my way back to my seat.

"How's she doing?" Brenda asked from behind the bar.

"Alanna? Um, not good. You saw her, right?"

"Yea. That girl... I told her she should cut back on working. Take a night off or something."

"How... often does she work?"

"Usually five or six nights a week."

In the year since our first encounter, there were MAYBE two or three times that I didn't see her during my visits. She was the one constant of the place. Even the bartenders didn't work that much.

All these pieces falling together was painting a very grim picture.

As I'm closing out my tab, I see Alanna shuffling across the floor and stopping at John's table. Before leaving, I made one last stop at their table. John looked at me with desperate eyes, begging me to get her away.

"Hey."

"Hey!" Alanna squeeked.

The difference in her mood from ten minutes ago was night and day. The girl who barely had enough will power to lift head up at the bar was now a peppy cheerleader filled with manic energy.

"Jack! What's up? This is John, by the way!"

We pretendeded it was our first time meeting.

"Well, I gotta bounce. Have a good night and..."

"Wait, are you leaving?? I thought we were going to the V.I.P.!"

As she gave me an eager look, I noticed the freshly caked make-up on her face.

"You're here relaxing with your friend, figured I'd leave you alone for the night."

"Whaaaat? Noooo. Come on, let's go!"

Alanna grabbed my hand and bounced back to the V.I.P. rooms. I'd be lying if I said her drastic change in mood wasn't a little unsettling.

I took my seat, leaving copious amounts of room for her on my side. As soon as she shut the curtains, she turned around and pounced on top of me.

"No no." I said while trying to direct her to take a seat, "Just sit there."

"Whaaat? No, I'm good here."

"Krystal. I'm serious. Just... take a seat next to me."

She gave me an odd look before getting off my lap.

"Also, you don't need to take anything off."

"... Okay." she said with an air of suspicion.

I sat up and turned my body towards her.

"Look, you've only ever seen me drunk, so I can understand if you take everything I say right now with a grain of salt, but I just want you to know I'm being totally honest here. In the year or so that we've known each other, I've had a lot of fun. It's been good times. You've got an addictive personality, for the most part, and I think you're great."

Krystal shifted her posture.

"Whatever you're going through right now, you have to remember that no matter what happens, you're still that gorgeous, smart, and lovable girl. Don't forget that."

"Jack, I'll be fine," she said with her sweet smile, "I'm telling you, that last time was totally a one-time thing. I had the xanax and it did a little number on me..."

"I'm talking about tonight. It got pretty weird tonight."

She looked away and went silent.

"Look, from all the time that we've spent together, I do genuinely care about you. I really mean that. All this shit makes me uneasy. I don't want you doing anything crazy. Do I have to worry about you?"

She looked back at me and shook her head.

"Promise?."

"I promise."

"Good. And I don't care if I become a story you tell other people in the future about how 'this one time, a guy paid me NOT to dance and NOT to take off my clothes in the V.I.P. like an idiot,' because I'm being genuine. Please, take care of yourself."

She grabbed me and gave me a prolonged hug, then put her head on my shoulder.

"It's been so long since someone has held me like this." she cooed as her manic demeanor rooted its head.

"Nope, nope! Not doing this!" I protested.

Even though every word I had uttered to her was the truth, it didn't mean I was going to start buying into her pandering bullshit. I pulled my arm back and tried to push her away but she continued to latch on. She finally settled with just resting her head on my lap. For the next twenty or so minutes, we remained silent. I started playing around on my phone and she had seemingly fallen asleep in my lap.

When the manager informed us that our time was up, I slid the phone back in my pocket and waited for Krystal to get up.

She didn't.

"Krystal." I whispered.

Nothing.

"Krystal." I said a bit louder.

Quiet.

I placed a hand on her back and gently shook her. "Krystal, our time's up."

She took a gasp of air as she woke up from the nap. It took her a few seconds to gather herself.

"I need to get out of this place." she muttered, completely dejected.

I would only see Alanna in the V.I.P. one more time.