JUST BREATHE
Christal
Life can be a dream that reaches out to the ends of the earth. It is like a never ending ocean, a wave that travels across all time. A wave that is full of turmoil ready to explode on distant shore in distant lands.<br />
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Time stands still for a moment when the wave crashes with great force all of the nightmares are crushed and disappear on to the rocks & then washed away to never return.<br />
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The waves of life begin to recede back into the sea & now I can just breathe, just breathe.<br />
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Just breathe & know that life will find its way to clear your mind to sooth your soul, to touch your spirit. Reach out with your hand and feel the wind and the sea beneath your feet. Feel the peace surround your body like a warm blanket. Discover the comfort of the sea that surrounds you. Embrace its protection. For now u can rest my love. Rest in my oceans arms, rest in the light I provide, rest in my strength. I will protect you, I will keep you safe. Close your eyes now & sleep. No harm will come your way because I am strong.<br />
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Close your eyes and rest. Just breathe, just breathe, just breath.<br />
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There will be times when outside influence will come in to destroy your peace and smash your dreams. They will crush your spirit and you will begin to fall, but I will reach out my arms to catch you. I will then shield you from your enemy. I will slay this dragon of the sea. I will destroy his evil intent. I will smash his head with a violent blow and he will be dead.<br />
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Never again will he raise his head to hurt you. Never again will he steal your peace, your soul, your life. For, I will surround you with my ocean. I will head off anyone who seeks to destroy you. I am your protector. I am your strength. I am your love.</p>
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last commentHeavy.
Stripping is a great way to pay for further education.
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Thank you for the comment. Maybe that's why founder wasn't going to publish it. I am going to take some classes when I can afford to what did you think of the story in general ?
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I am glad to see you back in print, Christal. I missed your romantic energy.
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I can identify some spellign and punctuation errors though I'm not an Eng Lit major (thankfully). It's short of like that age old conundrum of when to use their / there / they're or your / you're, and some never, ever, grasp the difference. That said, what Christal wrote is much more readable than most the other drivel we see ona daily basis ... even from people who should have taken an Eng Lit class, i.e. the on-line and in-print story writers. Have you ever seen their works of fiction? Jeesh. I can only wait 10+ more years when this texting and on-line class educated kids come through the ranks. Imagine the fun ... socially unable and not being able to understand a f'n word they write since it's in shorthand.
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And now, my misspelled words can also be critiqued ... ha ha Shakes fists at monitor ... "Damn you 'Post Comment' button!!!!"
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Hmmmm....didn't expect this kind of a post. As I kept reading I was waiting for a catch like...just breathe and surrender your money to the stripper and that will set you free. Seems like a chapter from the book "Zen and the Art of strip clubbing".
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Keep it up Christal, I like your romantic from the heart expressions. I often share my own with my lady. You are brave to go public and bear the comments from JA's,
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This type of writing isn't really my cup of tea, but I didn't find many errors. In conventional writing, one would spell out "you" instead of using the text-speak "u", and one would also spell out "and" in lieu of "&". Oceans needs an apostrophe ("ocean's"), because it is possessive, not plural. Also, any time you combine two words to form an adjective, you join them with a hyphen (thus "never-ending ocean", not "never ending ocean"). Trust me, I grade a LOT of student writing.
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Crystal. I think your creative writing is fine and a welcome change on this site. You should aslo be commended for taking the grammer/context errors in the spirit of constructive criticism. I suspect your high school English teachers were less than adequate. Anyone who is willing to accept their mistakes and learn from them is better off for it. I suspect very few of us on this site could match your creativity.
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I want to thank all of you so very much. I love constructive criticism. If I didn't listen to it I would be know where in my life today. I have owned many businesses over the years in the beauty industry. With each business I was often discouraged because of my learning disorder & dislexia, but I not one to let anything or anyone stop me. The people, such as yourselves that give me advice are the people that have enriched my life and increase my knolage through school & personal study. I have a long way to go as you can see. Writing is by far the most chalanging thing for me to do, which is why I'm doing it. Thanks again :)
Christal
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You are a gem, Christal. All the best.
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@christal.....ooooooooya ! Good to see you back n print ! Keep it going !
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Thanks guys. I have some sexy stories coming soon. Your are sure to need a lot of lotion and a strong hand LOL!!!
Christal
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Very impressive Christal, you're a total babe. Wish I was in Hotlanta.....
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Awe .... Your so sweet to say that.
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Awwwwww....Christal, what drew me into your "Just Breathe" post in the first place was the title itself. In all honesty it connected me straight to a Bon Jovi song, in which that same powerful line is used throughout.... "(You Want To) Make a Memory" www.youtube.com
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Maddog, if than is a picture of you , wow!! You are. Wry good looking.
You seem to be a romantic from the coments you have written. I love that.
Happy new year guys
Christal
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Thank you Christal, unfortunately that's my rude mug....but, I'd have to say that it just might your inspirational writing that conjures up a romantic mood....Then, given the fact that you're so damn easy on the eyes, it would bring out the romantic in anyone....No doubt you've gotta be the inspiration behind what puts the "Hot" in Atlanta....
Likewise, Happy New Year Christal...
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