Cincinnati Strip Clubs, over the River to Kentucky, and Shanghai Mama's

<p> Shanghai Mama&#39;s is your best value in the Cincinnati metro area. It&#39;s a Chinese restaurant in downtown. I got a tip from the hotel staff upon my late-night arrival. Got a beef, chicken, and shrimp stir fry for under $10. Good stuff.<br /> <br /> According to TUSCL, there&#39;s one strip club on the Cincy side of the river. That would be a member of the Deja Vu chain located waaaaay out in the eastern side, just down the street from The Blue Ridge Kennel. Yeah, I found that canine place doing a turn around as I had passed the club. Fortunately, it was not an accurate omen as to the talent level at the Vu.<br /> <br /> Deja Vu Cincy has potential, but it&#39;s a Vu. There are full nude two-song sets on the stage, mostly featuring young dancers who aren&#39;t yet 20 and therefore can&#39;t dance at the Kentucky clubs. Cover was $10. Dances are 2 for $25, except for when the red lights go on indicating a special. From his booth, the dj can see the entire dance room. But there&#39;s other staff (manager, bouncer, servers, etc.) who all circulate and thereby your dances are likely to be quite tame. Blame the Vu? The Vu has posted a list on their front desk of every member of the Ohio House and Senate who voted to place the handcuffs on them. But I&#39;ve been in Vu&#39;s elsewhere and I think the chain does a pretty good job of sucking the fun out all by themselves. So, off to the clubs on the Kentucky side!<br /> <br /> Kulture shock! I tried three clubs and in aggregate, here it is: all three worked on a drink-buying model for the dancers. A customer had to buy a dancer&#39;s time by buying her a drink. The more expensive the drink, the bigger it is and the connotation comes along the more time she&#39;ll spend with you. Dancer drinks started at $18, then $38, $58, $110, (I&#39;m getting dizzy!) and finally $330. For $330 you get an hour of the dancer&#39;s time in the VIP area, which offers no privacy. WTF!?! I first came across this model at The House of Babes in Columbus, OH. I am NOT a fan of the drink-buying model. For one, it presumably locks the customer into the purchase. And it&#39;s in the dancer&#39;s financial interest to string things along such that the customer will buy more. I prefer to take my financial hits in smaller increments such that if a lapper is poor I can cut my losses and search for greener pastures.<br /> <br /> So I engaged in stage tipping and coughing up $1s for the gals to feed the jukebox during their stage stints. Didn&#39;t buy a single dancer drink, though I heard many pitches from the gals. For the OTC hounds among us, here is one of the more memorable declarations: &quot;I&#39;ve made $17 in two shifts today plus whatever I can make between now [it was 10:30pm] and midnight [when she can leave, hint, hint] and whatever I line up afterwards.&quot; Well, she was about a 6 but the facial acne wasn&#39;t too appealing so really more like a 5 or so. And no, I didn&#39;t probe her pricing structure though I probably should&#39;ve for curiosity sake.<br /> <br /> That said, why wouldn&#39;t ANY dancer want to work at these (Kentucky) clubs? The dancers are always in bikinis, even while on stage. On stage they flash boobs briefly but usually only for tips. Otherwise there&#39;s almost no nudity here! And then there&#39;s working the guys... upon entry to one club a blonde vet of around 30-35 and possessor of good looks (and she knows it) came at me like a heat-seeking missile for I was the new blood. She moved close in, laid on the sexy, seductive charms and made sure to run her hand up my thigh and stroke across my privates while suggesting the $55 drink was a good option. Isn&#39;t this ability in any gal??? I spent an hour at this club consuming my beer and watching the action and I could see most of the main floor from my seat (there was no other space to the club where action could occur, fyi.) What was going down among the various couples looked like high school continued: massages, necking, cuddling, etc. No heads bobbing. No dancer straddling a guy&#39;s lap. For that matter no dancers were sitting on a guy&#39;s lap... at all... even for an instant. Further, the servers (middle-aged and overweight) circulated with such regularity (they want to maximize their tips from drink sales) rule violating would be impossible.<br /> <br /> Were the guys buying? Yes. But who knows whether they were negotiating longer time stints for the smaller drinks, etc. or not? I did see one guy and gal opposite me in &quot;booth&quot;, which was the $110 price bracket. What&#39;s a booth? One half of your restaurant-style booth against the wall with a cocktail table in front. I could see above and below the table. The guy may have gotten to fondle a boob for an instant. Otherwise they just sat and talked side-by-side. No mischief under the table...<br /> <br /> That blonde vet I mentioned earlier? She had her hooks into some guy for most of the time I was there -- literally. She had one arm or the other around the guy&#39;s back holding him close into her (they were seated in captain&#39;s chairs facing each other), her tongue likely in the guy&#39;s ear and his hands probably fondling her terrain. Yet I bet to her this job&#39;s a walk in the park because she doesn&#39;t have to have sex with the schmo.<br /> <br /> So in the back of my mind during these club visits was how good and cheap the chinese stir fry was. And that I could get another one rather than spend dough on high school time with a Kentucky stripper. Well, I didn&#39;t get another stir fry from Shanghai Mama&#39;s, but I did get delivery from Geez-L-Pete&#39;s right around the corner from the club. The bartender advised they serve big portions and it was tasty. I shared. Fed me, the bartender, another customer, and two strippers, fyi. $9 cost inclusive of delivery tip.<br /> <br /> So on visiting Cincy metro clubs, your likely best option is to indulge in food as an alternative unless you&#39;re an OTC-minded hound -- then you may want to roll into the clubs long about 11pm.</p> <p> &nbsp;</p>