Cincinnati Strip Clubs, over the River to Kentucky, and Shanghai Mama's

avatar for CTQWERTY
CTQWERTY
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Shanghai Mama&#39;s is your best value in the Cincinnati metro area. It&#39;s a Chinese restaurant in downtown. I got a tip from the hotel staff upon my late-night arrival. Got a beef, chicken, and shrimp stir fry for under $10. Good stuff.<br />
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According to TUSCL, there&#39;s one strip club on the Cincy side of the river. That would be a member of the Deja Vu chain located waaaaay out in the eastern side, just down the street from The Blue Ridge Kennel. Yeah, I found that canine place doing a turn around as I had passed the club. Fortunately, it was not an accurate omen as to the talent level at the Vu.<br />
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Deja Vu Cincy has potential, but it&#39;s a Vu. There are full nude two-song sets on the stage, mostly featuring young dancers who aren&#39;t yet 20 and therefore can&#39;t dance at the Kentucky clubs. Cover was $10. Dances are 2 for $25, except for when the red lights go on indicating a special. From his booth, the dj can see the entire dance room. But there&#39;s other staff (manager, bouncer, servers, etc.) who all circulate and thereby your dances are likely to be quite tame. Blame the Vu? The Vu has posted a list on their front desk of every member of the Ohio House and Senate who voted to place the handcuffs on them. But I&#39;ve been in Vu&#39;s elsewhere and I think the chain does a pretty good job of sucking the fun out all by themselves. So, off to the clubs on the Kentucky side!<br />
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Kulture shock! I tried three clubs and in aggregate, here it is: all three worked on a drink-buying model for the dancers. A customer had to buy a dancer&#39;s time by buying her a drink. The more expensive the drink, the bigger it is and the connotation comes along the more time she&#39;ll spend with you. Dancer drinks started at $18, then $38, $58, $110, (I&#39;m getting dizzy!) and finally $330. For $330 you get an hour of the dancer&#39;s time in the VIP area, which offers no privacy. WTF!?! I first came across this model at The House of Babes in Columbus, OH. I am NOT a fan of the drink-buying model. For one, it presumably locks the customer into the purchase. And it&#39;s in the dancer&#39;s financial interest to string things along such that the customer will buy more. I prefer to take my financial hits in smaller increments such that if a lapper is poor I can cut my losses and search for greener pastures.<br />
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So I engaged in stage tipping and coughing up $1s for the gals to feed the jukebox during their stage stints. Didn&#39;t buy a single dancer drink, though I heard many pitches from the gals. For the OTC hounds among us, here is one of the more memorable declarations: &quot;I&#39;ve made $17 in two shifts today plus whatever I can make between now [it was 10:30pm] and midnight [when she can leave, hint, hint] and whatever I line up afterwards.&quot; Well, she was about a 6 but the facial acne wasn&#39;t too appealing so really more like a 5 or so. And no, I didn&#39;t probe her pricing structure though I probably should&#39;ve for curiosity sake.<br />
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That said, why wouldn&#39;t ANY dancer want to work at these (Kentucky) clubs? The dancers are always in bikinis, even while on stage. On stage they flash boobs briefly but usually only for tips. Otherwise there&#39;s almost no nudity here! And then there&#39;s working the guys... upon entry to one club a blonde vet of around 30-35 and possessor of good looks (and she knows it) came at me like a heat-seeking missile for I was the new blood. She moved close in, laid on the sexy, seductive charms and made sure to run her hand up my thigh and stroke across my privates while suggesting the $55 drink was a good option. Isn&#39;t this ability in any gal??? I spent an hour at this club consuming my beer and watching the action and I could see most of the main floor from my seat (there was no other space to the club where action could occur, fyi.) What was going down among the various couples looked like high school continued: massages, necking, cuddling, etc. No heads bobbing. No dancer straddling a guy&#39;s lap. For that matter no dancers were sitting on a guy&#39;s lap... at all... even for an instant. Further, the servers (middle-aged and overweight) circulated with such regularity (they want to maximize their tips from drink sales) rule violating would be impossible.<br />
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Were the guys buying? Yes. But who knows whether they were negotiating longer time stints for the smaller drinks, etc. or not? I did see one guy and gal opposite me in &quot;booth&quot;, which was the $110 price bracket. What&#39;s a booth? One half of your restaurant-style booth against the wall with a cocktail table in front. I could see above and below the table. The guy may have gotten to fondle a boob for an instant. Otherwise they just sat and talked side-by-side. No mischief under the table...<br />
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That blonde vet I mentioned earlier? She had her hooks into some guy for most of the time I was there -- literally. She had one arm or the other around the guy&#39;s back holding him close into her (they were seated in captain&#39;s chairs facing each other), her tongue likely in the guy&#39;s ear and his hands probably fondling her terrain. Yet I bet to her this job&#39;s a walk in the park because she doesn&#39;t have to have sex with the schmo.<br />
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So in the back of my mind during these club visits was how good and cheap the chinese stir fry was. And that I could get another one rather than spend dough on high school time with a Kentucky stripper. Well, I didn&#39;t get another stir fry from Shanghai Mama&#39;s, but I did get delivery from Geez-L-Pete&#39;s right around the corner from the club. The bartender advised they serve big portions and it was tasty. I shared. Fed me, the bartender, another customer, and two strippers, fyi. $9 cost inclusive of delivery tip.<br />
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So on visiting Cincy metro clubs, your likely best option is to indulge in food as an alternative unless you&#39;re an OTC-minded hound -- then you may want to roll into the clubs long about 11pm.</p>
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17 comments

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avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
13 years ago
CT - good post. This is what the articles section should contain. I already knew to avoid Cincy. I think I would have told the guys to drive the 80 miles from Covington to Lexington.
avatar for Rod8432
Rod8432
13 years ago
I lived in Cincy during < cough > "better" times (the 80s) when the KY clubs offered more nudity. Even then, they were still skanky and low-value compared to other cities I've lived in and visited since. As much as I still love the Queen City, the sanctimonious weirdness of the city leaders toward nudity is too much for me. It goes way back to prosecutor Simon Lies (and maybe before) whose crusade against all things sexual is the stuff of legend, and at least one movie - "The People vs Larry Flynt." Maybe CTQWERTY's realization that the food offers a better escape is partly why so many heifers seemingly populate that city's streets. This horndog is better off living elsewhere and just visiting on occasion...
avatar for runrdude
runrdude
13 years ago
Yep, drive to Lexington. I was in a Lexington club yesterday. Full bar, full nude, full contact makes for a happy camper.
avatar for Digitech
Digitech
13 years ago
How about pulling a hot Chinese waitress for some OTR (outside the restaurant) action? I've done it once!
avatar for samsung1
samsung1
13 years ago
also southern part of dayton has some better clubs than cincy.

I am pretty sure the deja vu in cincy accepts the free admission pass online from dejavu.com
avatar for samsung1
samsung1
13 years ago
I am pretty sure the cover is actually only $5 but the other $5 is for a mandatory drink. So that coupon would have only saved $5
avatar for bang69
bang69
13 years ago
Thiis is why I go clubing here in the south
avatar for farmerart
farmerart
13 years ago
Jeez, CTQ, I thought that Columbus was the only city in North America with worse SCs than Calgary. I guess that Cincinnati also qualifies.

WAIT!! Is there something about cities whose name begins with the letter 'C'?
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
13 years ago
Wrong Art, Columbia SC does not fit the profile!
avatar for feelmore
feelmore
13 years ago
Great post. I lived in Cincy in the late 70s. Back then the clubs in Covington were much better and more "open." The clubs also featured top name strippers (aka porn stars) who used the dance circuit to promote their XXX movies. It was kinda cool to be able to see the big name porn queens perform on stage and then meet them after the performance. Most would pose with you for a Polaroid for $20. That's all nostalgia now.
avatar for nicepants
nicepants
13 years ago
Sox have collapsed so many times before, and once upon a time long long ago, at a Holiday Inn off I275, I found a cheap alternative to strip clubs that was totally unexpected.

I was in the bar watching the Sox in ALCS against the Angels (but the curse was not to be reversed that year). The TV's in the room was total crap, so that was where I was going to watch the game.

Because of the playoffs (and trying to get ANYBODY in Cincinnati interested in them) the bar was running insane drink specials and free bar food. I was on business travel, so the free food meant a better dinner later that week (for a very small value of "better").

But I was trying to watch the playoffs, and in ADDITION to insane drink specials and free food there was a "Lingerie Show" in the bar. There were over a dozen "models" in see-through body stockings and lingerie, trying to get us blokes to buy an outfit. With Cincinnati's well earned reputation, this free "strip club" was certainly the best venue in the area, and certainly was the best value in North America at the time. At least during breaks in the game, otherwise, the models were in the way. Hey, priorities. Amazingly enough, one model engaged in "stick shifting" while trying to make a sale during a commercial break during a pitching change.
avatar for nicepants
nicepants
13 years ago
Oh, the night's entertainment cost me 4.00, tip included, for the drinks and food. We weren't allowed to tip the models. I didn't purchase any lingerie.
avatar for minnow
minnow
13 years ago
CTQ; Thanks, and my condolences for getting a business trip to "Stripclub Siberia". Your experience in Newport KY leaves me no regrets of my 2 decade absence from there. Some quick "Cliff Notes" on that visit: Went to a drink hustle club first, left within 10-15 minutes. Went into a nude stage show club, an OK place. I saw a semi-hot 6' double-jointed dancer twist herself into a pretzel on stage. I could hear her fart above the music on stage- if thats the highlight, time to go. Third club also a nude stage club but with fewer and uglier dancers. My stay was shorter than first club. Setting a record for the quickest visit to 3 clubs says something about the club scene there. BTW, did you get a fortune cookie at Shanghai Mama's ?
avatar for steve229
steve229
13 years ago
Food fetish?
avatar for zef8mich
zef8mich
13 years ago
As Feelmore said feature strippers from Covington traveled to other areas in the late 70's. I've seen them at the Club Manchester in the Detroit area. Was told that the Covington area was known for their card games for those crossing from Ohio.

In what may have been a sign of the times the Beverly Hills Super Club in nearby Southgate, Kentucky, was a major attraction, drawing headline talent from Las Vegas, Hollywood, and New York. A fire at the Beverly Hills Supper Club in 1977 was the third deadliest nightclub fire in U.S. history.

http://listverse.com/2010/03/08/top-10-m…
avatar for HonestT
HonestT
13 years ago
I've experienced pretty much the same night as described above, minus the great Chinese food and pizza deals.

Cincinnati has long been the SC void of Ohio. I think that is why they have a booming and vibrant Escort industry. If you ever venture to backpages.com, you will be impressed with the quality and quantity, for Ohio.

Thanks for your review.
avatar for jhndillion
jhndillion
13 years ago
If your staying in Cincinnati- the best option is either Dayton clubs (about 35-40 minute drive) or the club in Sparta, KY (about 30-35 minute drive). I agree with the posters that Lexington offers a great SC experience, but it is easily an hour+ drive from Cincinnati.
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